Primary responsibility for elder care

[sarang]

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Press home, articles and search in the site gurumurthy.net. I think this talk was in 2012.

thanks sarang ji . the post is under what head of what date in the link.

 

[Brahmanyan]

Primary Responsibility for elder care

One of the most challenging problems in today's world seem to be taking care of aging parents.

I am interested to know the current thinking and trend in this area.

Few decades ago, if a family had both sons and daughters, the son(s) used to own the responsibility to arrange for care of their aging parents. The daughters may help when possible but the main responsibility was borne by the son(s).

If a family did not have sons or son is away as NRI daughters may have pitched in. Re

Are sons still viewed as primary care planners for the parents?

.
Dear Sri tks,
We are still in patriarchal society, where the dependence of males rule. Parents feel it is the responsibility of the son to take care of them.
When a daughter is "given off" in marriage she becomes a member of her husband's family and her responsibility changes to that family. However this does not change her in born love and affection towards her natural parents
Well, in the changed economic and social circumstances of today, I have known many daughters take care of their parents as lovingly as the sons, in case the sons are staying abroad.
Of course, under the new dispensations aged people, if they could afford, prefer to live in retirement homes.

Regards,
Brahmanyan
Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Brahmanyan Sir,

You are talking about your generation and probably mine too! Girls have the upper hand today and they are the law makers!

Blessed are those who do not depend on their son / sons for financial support. I know many girls who make their loving hubby

spend lavishly for her parents but when it comes to spending for his parents, it is mostly vetoed by her! :tsk:

 

[mkrishna100]

What has got career got to do with taking care of the elderly?

Out here many people dont mind having an elder in the house so that they can keep a watch on the activities of the maid but mostly the elder ladies and the live in maids end up fighting!LOL

Elders have a good time here cos they dont have to do any work at home cos there is a live in maid and they just supervise what needs to be done.

I have a female doc friend who took care of her MIL who had cancer and also shared the cancer treatment cost and took care of her MIL right up to certifying her dead when her MIL died at home..she managed all these while still working 12 hours day in her own private practice(she had a maid to do the rest of the work at home)

So you see I dont think its being career oriented but its just that if we really want to do it or not.

But out here in laws are less meddling unlike India so may be girls in India are afraid of meddling in laws. Further more most people never leave the country for a job abroad..(only some nut cases do!LOL)..so parents are never alone.

Renukaji
One of my elder Cousin sister is a Doctor in Malaysia and she fits exactly the person whom who have mentioned above and I do not know whether you are talking about her . I have sent u a PM about her . Just confirm whether it is her by PM .

 

[krish44]

Dear Brahmanyan Sir,

You are talking about your generation and probably mine too! Girls have the upper hand today and they are the law makers!

Blessed are those who do not depend on their son / sons for financial support. I know many girls who make their loving hubby

spend lavishly for her parents but when it comes to spending for his parents, it is mostly vetoed by her! :tsk:

RRji ,

there is too much cribbing from senior citizen about their plight.

they retire early with VRS and golden hand shake . instead of staying put with sons living lavishly abroad . they look for sympathy and support from daughters in india

they talk about tradition upto the time of marriage of their son and later on try justifying that it is not harmful if daughters support them when their son do not live upto their expectations

senior citizen should realise either they should put up with son . alternatively live independantly if possible or go to retirement homes without depending on charity of ladies even if it is daughter .

 

[white40]

Those days are gone. With plenty of Senior Citizen Homes having sprung up at so many places, the old are taking care of themselves in the company of other senior citizens. I stay in such a home. Of course there is no denying the fact that girls are more caring.

 

[tks]

Those days are gone. With plenty of Senior Citizen Homes having sprung up at so many places, the old are taking care of themselves in the company of other senior citizens. I stay in such a home. Of course there is no denying the fact that girls are more caring.

Sri white40 -

Welcome to the forum. What do these places cost? Does it depend on how much help is required? What is your typical day like if you care to share

Thanks

 

[white40]

Sri white40 -

Welcome to the forum. What do these places cost? Does it depend on how much help is required? What is your typical day like if you care to share

Thanks

There are atleast 20 or so such complexes in Coimbatore. Some of the names are Brindavan, Nana Nani Homes, Kausthubam ,Swarnalayam All of them have web sites. You can access them and get all details. All have medical facilties.
You have common kitchen where you have to go 5 times for your food.
During Breakfast, chanting of Lalitha Sahasranamam is done and in the evening Vishnu Sahasranamam. There are Pravachans also frequently. Pujas are done commonly.

 

[white40]

Senior Citizen Homes

There are atleast 15 to 20 such homes in Coimbatore. Names of few are, Vanaprastha, Kausthubham Dhyanaprastha,Brindavan, Nana Nani Homes, Swarnalayam, Tapovanam Arogya Kutumbham. All have web sites. If you search on Google, you can get all details. Initially, the complexes were giving the cottages on lease, but now they are selling them outright. A2 BHK will cost anywhere around 35 lacs. All have a centralized kitchen and it is here only one's wife also retires from service.
In my place, he activities start 5 a.m, with all the residents meeting for coffee. Before breakfast, there is Lalitha Sahasranama Parayanam. In the evening there is Vishnu Sahasranama Parayanamam before dinner. Frequently religious discourses take place. Important Pujas are done commonly. For two persons monthly outgo will be Rs.8500

G.Vaidyanathan.

 

[tks]

There are atleast 15 to 20 such homes in Coimbatore. Names of few are, Vanaprastha, Kausthubham Dhyanaprastha,Brindavan, Nana Nani Homes, Swarnalayam, Tapovanam Arogya Kutumbham. All have web sites. If you search on Google, you can get all details. Initially, the complexes were giving the cottages on lease, but now they are selling them outright. A2 BHK will cost anywhere around 35 lacs. All have a centralized kitchen and it is here only one's wife also retires from service.
In my place, he activities start 5 a.m, with all the residents meeting for coffee. Before breakfast, there is Lalitha Sahasranama Parayanam. In the evening there is Vishnu Sahasranama Parayanamam before dinner. Frequently religious discourses take place. Important Pujas are done commonly. For two persons monthly outgo will be Rs.8500

G.Vaidyanathan.

Sri Vaidyanathan

Thanks for sharing the details.