Problem Created By Society

[sohan.salunke]

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For last four days I am searching some solution for my personal problem which has created by society

All of sudden I got a post on Google "Brother-Sister marriages in our Puranas" posted by sangom's Gallery

My story is very simple but challenges are very difficult
I am a divorce with a 5 month old son who is currently with my wife, we have divorce because we have understood that we are not a perfect couple and we are making our life worst day by day
One of my long cousin all of sudden got introduced to me and we shared our life to each other, she is 27 (single)and I am 35 after spending time with each other for 4 months we feel today to get marry with each other
But our challenge is that our parents are not ready as they believe we can only have a brother sister relation, as our kuladevata is same and we are from the same village our family is different, what I mean to say is if any one die in their (Girl) family we are not restricted from going to temple for celebrating any religious function.
Our generation gap is more than five.
I request your community of Brahmins to give me some guidelines or share me some article where we can speak to our family

Regards,

Sohan Salunke

 

[Subramanian Natarajan]

Sohan,tell us more.

Same village as in,is it same Gotra?

Well,all i would say is you should go for it.

It is very difficult to find decently genuine emotional response with someone and as long as she is not directly blood sister to you,i mean you dont share paternal ancestry directly,there is nothing wrong,just go for it.

If the Gotra is the same,it is wrong but it is better to live with a little flaw than in misery.

 

[prasad1]

Tell us about yourself. Are you Hindu, Tamil, and Brahmin. Majority of the members here have that background. Culture is local, we do not know your family, and society. It will be very difficult to give advice.

The problem is created by you, please do not blame it on the society. Society at best may judge your action, but is in no way created it.

 

[P.J.]

sohan Sir

From your post , i could draw that this distant cousin is from your Father's side.

Nowadays even eligible bachelors are finding it hard to get married, and you being a divorcee and about 35 years old, it might be very difficult to get a suitable girl for you.

Here, sangom Sir is probably the only member who can give you good advice.

Hope he sees your post and gives you a best possible advice.

 

[sangom]

For last four days I am searching some solution for my personal problem which has created by society

All of sudden I got a post on Google "Brother-Sister marriages in our Puranas" posted by sangom's Gallery

My story is very simple but challenges are very difficult
I am a divorce with a 5 month old son who is currently with my wife, we have divorce because we have understood that we are not a perfect couple and we are making our life worst day by day
One of my long cousin all of sudden got introduced to me and we shared our life to each other, she is 27 (single)and I am 35 after spending time with each other for 4 months we feel today to get marry with each other
But our challenge is that our parents are not ready as they believe we can only have a brother sister relation, as our kuladevata is same and we are from the same village our family is different, what I mean to say is if any one die in their (Girl) family we are not restricted from going to temple for celebrating any religious function.
Our generation gap is more than five.
I request your community of Brahmins to give me some guidelines or share me some article where we can speak to our family

Regards,

Sohan Salunke

Shri Salunke,

I presume you are a Maratha Salunkhe. You say that the kuldevata of yourself and your lover (please excuse me for this usage, I could not find a better word) is the same. Among our Tamil Brahmins, the same family of male descendants will have the same kuladeivam (as we call it here) but unconnected families can also have the very same kuladeivam and so marriages can and have taken place among boy & girl having same kuladeivam also, but very rarely.

I don't know on what grounds your parents as well as the girl's parents insist that you two can have only brother-sister relations. This is the important point. If it is only because of the same kuladeivam, please be assured that it is not a valid argument from the Brahmin pov, as stated above, especially since you two are removed by five generations and, according to your caste customs, a death in one's family does not cause ritual impurity in the other's house. Once all connections between the two have been over, in this way, there should be absolutely no objection to the marriage. Among our people also cousins - son of one lady and daughter of that lady's sister - have got married even 60 years ago and they have lived beautiful married life.

We brahmins share this kind of impurity for seven generations and so our rule may not be applicable to you. Again, we were not marrying if boy and girl belonged to the same gothra, but this was the old practice; nowadays, our girls marry even outside our community and even christians and muslims and we cannot observe any of the old customs nor can we disown our daughters for ever.

Hence, my suggestion to you is that you can very well marry this girl. As an old man I convey my blessings and best wishes to both of you for a peaceful, prosperous and happy married life !!

Hope you will let this forum know about your marriage.

 

[kunjuppu]

dear sohan,

i echo sangom's sentiments. a good partner is always a gem of a find. they are so rare, and do not throw away this one opportunity of life, all in the name of traditions, which keep changing to one's conveniences any ways.

God Bless you and your beloved. May you have a peaceful contented and healthy life together.

 

[prasad1]

I still have problem with your op.
Why do you blame the society for problem created by you. If you are worried about the opinions of the society, live by the rules of the society. If your personal choice is more important to you, then who cares about the society.
Look at Hemamalini, did she care about society? You have to choose how you live, a coward can never have a happy or successful life. Be bold be happy.