Based on a conversation that I had with my daughter few years back
"Dad, I have to complete this project" - said Sujatha. "I filled up the pot with good quality soil, laid the seed, sprinkled water daily etc.. but the seed has not germinated".
"Did u ensure that the pot has a hole..?" - Sujatha's dad asked her. Sujatha studies in IX std and is in her teens. She has to grow a plant in a pot for her EVS project, in her school.
"Yes'pa.. I had bought that pot. It is filled with Sand at the bottom and rich soil on top. The seeds were also bought from the Nursery. I had followed all the procedures, they told me.." - Sujatha said.
"Ok.. what do you want me to do now..?" - Her dad asked.
"Let us buy a pot with plant and complete the project. I thought I will do this activity truly and not for namesake like others. Everybody else has simply bought a plant-pot and showed it. I wanted to really do the activity. But it seems, I have to follow the same stupid way others are following" - Sujatha said.
"Ok. Don't worry.. I will buy you one.. But u keep watering the pot. Sometimes the seed may germinate slowly, due to other reasons.." - Her dad said.
"Really..? Anyway for immediate needs, we will buy one. But dad, will a seed really germinate after long time..?" - Sujatha asked.
"Why not ?" - her dad said "Sometimes a seed may take a long time to germinate, until a favorable climate exists. It is like our mind. Thoughts that are sown in our mind, with or without our knowledge, germinate after a long time, during favorable conditions and change the way we live"
"Uff.. started again ur lectures.." - said Sujatha "Please.. let me do this project dad. You always speak like our correspondent, who lectures us daily, in the assembly hall, on so many virtues. We are just fed up with all those lectures."
"Well.. We are same" - her dad said "We lecture in the hope of seeding some thoughts in your mind, even when we understand that you do not appreciate it fully, in the hope that these seeds will germinate after a long time and help your life"..
"Stop.. Stop.. Stop" -Sujatha said "Please pardon me.. I have other things to do. I will keep this pot on the terrace."
*****
As sujatha got into her room, her mom came out. "Why are you lecturing our girl every time. She will totally stop listening to you, like her school girls have done to their correspondent. Now-a-days kids don't want to be lectured or taught. You have to understand this"
"But.. But.. I didn't do any lecture.. I just stated some facts.." - her dad said.
"She has to do so much homework, extra-curricular activities etc. Why are you further burdening her with your thoughts. Let her go to the world and understand it the way she wants. Not only you, your father, mother everybody lectures her on do's and don'ts. You people have to stop it. Otherwise she will stop communicating with us" - her mom said
"Ok..Ok..Ok.." - sujatha's dad heaved a sigh. "It is enough for today. We have been fighting this battle for long. "
"I myself is getting bored with your lectures. What to say about the kids..?" - said her mom. As usual she had the last word.
**************
Several months passed.
That day, Sujatha and her family assembled in the dinner table. They started talking about various things.
"I am really sorry for our Mani. He has become a drunkard and his family is suffering. He used to be the boss of a company. But it is bad times for him. Unable to come out of his problems, he has artificially immersed himself in liquor. That's why I prescribe abstention from evils such as drinking rather than 'safe' or 'limited' indulgence, which Mani used to do." - said Sujatha's dad.
Mani is his friend, who ran a business successfully for long time, but has gone broke now.
"Dad.. You still live in stone age. Mom is right. Spare us your lectures. We know what is right and wrong. You say drinking is wrong. But most dad's today drink. There is nothing wrong in it. You try to influence your own opinions on others directly or indirectly" - said Sujatha.
"What did you say..?" - Sujatha's dad pounced on her statement. "Are you saying drinking is right. Who taught you this..? Is it your school..?". He was taken aback by Sujatha's protest on his simple statement.
"Oh.. Dad.. I know it. Dad's of most girls in my school drink. For that matter, you know Nivedha, her mom also drinks. There is nothing wrong in it. You are trying to make a personal issue blow out of proportion to precipitate your own morals" - Sujatha said.
"Dear Sujatha" - her dad said "I have always encouraged you to think, talk and understand the world. But you cannot justify an evil act, by saying most people are doing it. It is still evil. And that too a mom drinking in front of her daughter is a heinous crime".
"Dad.. I have discussed this enough with my friends. Their parents are not drunkards. It is what they call 'Social drinking' dad. Why do anyone need to worry about drinking habit of a person, which is an individual wish. In your age, society interfered with its own rules on individual opinions. No longer so. This is the age of freedom and liberty, dad" - Sujatha said.
"Sujatha, you are not a kid. I know you talk more advanced than your age. But you should know there are many things that you don't understand in this society. So don't frame opinions now itself' - her dad said.
"Dad.." - sujatha cried "In my school, in VI std itself, girls started talking so many things. We are not like what you think. This society is different dad from your days. So don't impose your ideas on us".
"Are you sure, Nivedha's mom drinks in Nivedha's presence" - Sujatha's dad asked
"Yes dad. Sure" - Said sujatha. "Mind you. There is nothing in wrong in a women drinking. She is not a drunkard. It is just social drinking. She drinks in some social gatherings. That is all."
"Do you mean to say, that when you grow up, you will drink..?" - Sujatha's dad asked "Do you know what is our culture..? Is this the way you should grow up..?"
"Well I don't know dad, if I would drink. I did not say I will. Nor am I saying I won't. But I can say, there is nothing wrong, if I do so" - Sujatha said.
"Oh.." - Sujatha's dad threw up his hands exasperated. "Hey sujatha's mom, how do you teach your girl our culture..? Or you also support her and want to indulge in social drinking ?" - Sujatha's dad asked her mom angrily.
"Sujatha is a kid. She is talking too much. That is all. Why we have to un-neccessarily debate the topic of drinking now. None in our culture can even think of doing that. Let us stop this conversation and talk something better" - her mom said.
"No.." - protested Sujatha's dad. "We must discuss it. I cannot allow my daughter to grow up with wrong notions. It will spoil her future."
"Sujatha say sorry to Dad" - said Sujatha's mom. "And let us close this chapter"
"Sundari, you are spoiling the kid" - said Sujatha's dad. "Sujatha.. drinking is bad, whether it is regular drinking or social drinking. And drinking by women is absolutely bad. It is against the very ethos of our culture."
"Why?" - asked Sujatha.
"Drinking causes your mind to be blocked and dulls your senses. It is mentally bad. It is also bad for health" - said Sujatha's dad.
"That is only regular drinking, Dad. Not social drinking. That's what I am saying. Society has changed. You have not. For you drinking means only regular and not social. In your times such a concept was not there, probably" - said Sujatha "Hence you cannot paint everybody with the same brush".
"No Sujatha dear. Believe me. There is nothing like social drinking. Every habit that we develop is like the seed that we have planted in our mind. It may not grow on us and consume ourself immediately. But at a favorable time for itself, the habit will grow out and consume ourself. People fool themselves with such concepts. Many do not get into such favorable conditions and hence the danger does not dawn on them. Many get into that situation and it kills them"- Sujtha's dad made a passionate explanation.
"And Mani is an example of it" - he added, after a pause.
"You have started lecturing again dad. You are trying to connect two unrelated things and arrive at an explanation. In fact, in The Hindu Newspaper, I read an article that said low quantities of red wine is good for health and avoids heart attack" - said Sujatha.
"Even there are reports stating coffee prevents cancer etc, which were all found to be false over a period. Once upon a time, cigarettes were talked about as beneficial. Filter Cigarettes were portrayed as 'safe'. These are all marketing myth. It is proven now. You won't understand all these now" - said Sujatha's dad.
"And drinking kills the spirit of joy in a family"
"No dad.."- said Sujatha "Nivedha's family is rich and happy. No problems. She has no complaints on her parents. As long as it is controlled, there is no issue"
"No Sujatha dear.. There is an issue much more than just joy. Drinking promotes the habit of personal pleasure and gratification at the expense of others. When a woman with a daughter like Nivedha drinks, she is compromising on her kid's future for her own personal joy. Such women will have no respect for elders, parents, in-laws, relatives and the entire family. She will be individualistic. It goes against our culture"- said Sujatha's dad.
"Again.. this is lecture dad" - Sujatha said. "We all saw that film know "Unnale Unnale". There would be a scene there where the second heroine and the hero will share a drink and she will even become tipsy. That character will go on to marry the hero and take up family responsibilities. That drinking is just fun and joy dad. Why make a big issue out of it?"
"Well I will tell you only one thing Sujatha" - her dad said "If you believe me, do not seed such thoughts which puts evil acts such as drinking in a positive light in your mind at this tender age. At this age, you cannot decide, which is good or evil. Such hidden thoughts in your mind may bloom later on when you are grown up and can make you uncontrollable. Instead, if you seed yourself with thoughts, which are more in line with our culture, you will find yourself to be better managed"
"All this seeding, blooming are all your own wishful thinking" - said Sujatha. "Can a seed germinate after several years. Does it make sense..? Is there any logic? Like-wise just because I do not consider drinking negative, do you think, I will start drinking in my later years? Or if I think of drinking in negative way now, what is the guarantee that I will not drink? You are telling me some Jurassic park story Dad. I was talking about social drinking that my friend's parents indulge in, which I see as harmless and this is what I also see in many movies. That is all to it"
"Well.. I do not know of any other way to tell you. I can just tell you that social drinking by males and females is a fad. Stop seeding such thoughts in your mind" - said Sujatha's dad."I want my entire brain and experience to come into you to make you see what I see. But I cannot do it. Anyway, let us stop it here and have more discussions later. Where have your kept your flower-pot?"
"I had kept it in terrace" - said Sujatha. "But I have not looked at it for long time"
"So what happened to the seed? Did it germinate?" - Sujatha's dad asked
"Oh.." - said Sujatha "It didn't Dad. I was watering it for quite sometime, following your advice. But I left it, after that. Nothing came out then, so I am sure nothing would have come out now. It is just like that social drinking Dad. Will never come again on its own, unless you decide to voluntarily bring it up again. Or like that negative seed of thought I am sowing in myself, according to you. Unlike what u said, that seed is gone forever. It will not resurrect and haunt me later. Indeed, I had forgotten about that pot totally, till u reminded me now." - Sujatha smiled.
***********
Sujatha and her dad went to the terrace after dinner.
As Sujatha saw her pot, her face became dark. She stood motionless looking at the pot. Due to continuous rains in the last few weeks, the seed has indeed germinated and a tiny tip of the plant was trying to look at the world, piercing through the soil, after several months.
-TBT
