the challenge of leaving ones home town

[v arun kumar]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

What was the biggest challenge u faced when u first left home

 

[Raji Ram]

If it is about leaving the home... I left to stay in a college hostel, when I was 15. Since Smt. VR was working in the Physics

department, I had special privileges like having daily bath (!) which was difficult for other students. During my third year of UG

course, she got married and left the college. But my younger sister joined PUC. So, I did not have much difficulty except eating the

hot and spicy food served there. (Had an attack of jaundice too). Me and my younger sister had our MSc and BSc courses respectively

in Coimbatore and stayed with our uncle and aunt. The bus journey was the biggest hurdle we faced!!


I left TN after marriage. The new language was a problem (Telugu) but I could pick up easily since we learnt a lot of Thyagaraja

kruthis! Smt.VR was there in the same colony, and I never felt 'home sick'. So I should thank God for blessing me with a smooth life. :hail:

 

[Brahmanyan]

The challenge of leaving ones home town

I took the risk of leaving a good job and the warmth of home when I chose to go to Sultanate of Oman at the age of 50. When I found that I could not save even a lakh of Rupees after 18 years of service of holding an executive position, I took the decision of accepting the invitation to go abroad to earn some money for my retired life. Since my son was in the first year of his engineering Course, I had to leave my wife in Bangalore to take care of him. After the initial ebullience of seeing life abroad, I started feeling loneliness and even wondered why I had left a good job and the comfort of settled family life. It was my friend Hamid Meeran (a seasoned Gulfite from Tirunelveli) a salesman in our Company who kept my spirits up by requesting me not to despair and assured that mind will get settled down after a few months. He was correct. I accepted the change and concentrated on my job. Within a few months I got my promotions and in an year my wife joined me and shuttling between Bangalore and Muscat, she took care of me and my son. Professionally I was very much satisfied when I was asked to head the accounts department of a big Supermarket chain under the British Management.
I had a good innings in Sultanate and continued for eight years, before I took a decision to return to Bangalore.
During my stay abroad I learnt a lot about life and goodness of humanity. My attitude towards others also changed a lot. I understood the true meaning for the word "love". When we break the artificial barriers that we put around us in the name of Nationality, Religion, Caste, Language etc., we see a different world of happiness. Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

....... Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth. ......

A very nice post from you, Sir! How very true is the last line!

Regards...........

 

[tbs]

I took the risk of leaving a good job and the warmth of home when I chose to go to Sultanate of Oman at the age of 50. When I found that I could not save even a lakh of Rupees after 18 years of service of holding an executive position, I took the decision of accepting the invitation to go abroad to earn some money for my retired life. Since my son was in the first year of his engineering Course, I had to leave my wife in Bangalore to take care of him. After the initial ebullience of seeing life abroad, I started feeling loneliness and even wondered why I had left a good job and the comfort of settled family life. It was my friend Hamid Meeran (a seasoned Gulfite from Tirunelveli) a salesman in our Company who kept my spirits up by requesting me not to despair and assured that mind will get settled down after a few months. He was correct. I accepted the change and concentrated on my job. Within a few months I got my promotions and in an year my wife joined me and shuttling between Bangalore and Muscat, she took care of me and my son. Professionally I was very much satisfied when I was asked to head the accounts department of a big Supermarket chain under the British Management.
I had a good innings in Sultanate and continued for eight years, before I took a decision to return to Bangalore.
During my stay abroad I learnt a lot about life and goodness of humanity. My attitude towards others also changed a lot. I understood the true meaning for the word "love". When we break the artificial barriers that we put around us in the name of Nationality, Religion, Caste, Language etc., we see a different world of happiness. Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

hi brahmanyan sir,
i put the life like this in philosophical ....we are predestined.....like a dried leaf fly according to direction of the wind....life is like
dried leaf.....wind is our destiny....so we are predestined......everyday is new day....life is learning process....

 

[sarang]

Oman must be a punyabhoomi if it can change one like this.

During my stay abroad I learnt a lot about life and goodness of humanity. My attitude towards others also changed a lot. I understood the true meaning for the word "love". When we break the artificial barriers that we put around us in the name of Nationality, Religion, Caste, Language etc., we see a different world of happiness. Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[venkat2206]

Arun,

Good topic to start becuase most of the members in this site may be coming under the catagory of leaving home town / district / State / country at some time or other.

If I recall - in the year 1979 as a fresh graduate from the Great Annamalai University (don't know - people always refer Annamalai University as "the great Annanmalai University) I moved to Mumbai (known as Bombay during that time). For a person from a bigger village or mini town of Tamil Nadu, Mumbai was a vast place. Stayed with uncle in the intial phase and hence not much of home sick.

Even though I was very familiar to read / write Hindi - not able to speaki - especially the famous Mumbai Hindi which was a complete mixture of Marathi / English / HInd combination. When I moved to Bokaro Steel City after six years - forced to encounter a different "Shuddha Hindi" mixed with Bhojpuri.

Basic adjustment to the culture, learning to respect others, getting used to the food habits, making friendship outside your official circles - these are some of the challenges. Especially during those days when there was no such such "Tamil Brahmin Sites" !!

Venkat

 

[shansnrmp]

An, interesting portfolio, during my school and college life, with abstractly, think it is hard to recollect the olden memories,
where we left home for school and college or some other life, like for in the civil.
After completing my elementary level in my home town,
I went to Trichy for the High school studies.

There I joined Bishop Heber High school as a hosteller.
As protestant missionaries, the school hostel runs in strict discipline along with the Sunday prayers.
During the Christ liturgy which took part in our school Church we have some sermonize by the Christian puritans.

The students were, irritated by this, and they decided to find a solution, to solve this problem.
As, decided by the majority, we used to go to the Church, with the sacred ash on the fore head.
Here, after the priest have not turned to ours.

While, I have recollect these ironical memories I am frustrated upon my deeds even though this had in my lad life.

 

[C RAVI]

I left for Dubai from Chennai when I was about to complete 32 years old. I was flying by Thai Airways and when flying, I was thinking, am I going to be too away from home/home country that I would be totally changed, living a different life in a different land?

Will I be gaining something (other than money) or will I be losing many things?

But the things got totally different when I landed into Dubai and spent just around 3 months. Yes, I was in a different world but very much had kind of feeling that I am in India, owing to so much of Indians around me.

I couldn’t feel the homesickness much as I was communicating with my parents and brother, for couple of minutes, every day in and day out. I could not feel the uneasiness of being away from home as I could get to hear a lot from others, their stories of leaving home for some or other reasons, how they felt here all alone, how the place changed them gradually and how are they now feeling happy and satisfied with some of their accomplishments.

I could feel that I am not away from my home and home country. The love and compassion towards my home and home country didn't change a bit. In fact it got much intensified. I could know that this is the case well with many such expats from many different countries.

I could get to know some stories, which I feel; I should never listen again from any one. I have an idea why many people go to foreign land and how they suffer for the betterment of their family back home. But when I could hear some stories straight from few such folks in Dubai, I felt my blood freezing. I could realize how and to what extent people could make up their mind to sacrifice the happiness of their life for the sake of their family members back home.

Ironically, I could also understand why and how people spoil themselves in the world of fantasy. The most confusing thing or I can say "can not be commented upon", is , in many cases, neither I could accuse nor justify them for what they did/doing.

I could realize well that a foreign land doesn't offer for sure a great life in comparison with the life one had/could have in his/her home country/India. But it does offer something better for the people for whom the person is living his/her life in a foreign country.

As Shri.Brahmanyan has said, I could know what is Love all about. We deal with people of all levels, respect each other, understand each other, help each other and share the joy and sorrow with each other irrespective of each other's nationality, religion, caste, language, shape and color.

My understanding of Life has certainly broadened and off course has helped me to realize that, in many cases humans cheat themselves, hiding themselves behind their sense of accomplishment. But even this gives them satisfaction and happiness and the feelings in their deep consciousness that, they could find their life meaningful, some way.

3 months of dwelling in Dubai was more than enough for me to get rid of the pains of being alone from the family and left me without a single repentance of having explored a different kind of world that offered me so much learning opportunities/experiences.

Just four years of living in Dubai gives me the feeling that, I have two home countries. One is INDIA and the other is U.A.E.

 

[prasad1]

.......Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth.

I agree with your post but the last line is going to bring a lot of criticism from some others.

 

[v arun kumar]

i started this thread for fun, now i am moved by the deep chord that the topic has struck in the heart of the reader, posts by Mr.Brahmanyan,CRavi, are really moving beyond description

 

[tks]

I agree with your post but the last line is going to bring a lot of criticism from some others.

In post #3 Sri Brahmanyan says

[COLOR=#333333][I].......[/I][/COLOR][COLOR=#333333][COLOR=#333333][I]Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth.[/I][/COLOR][/COLOR]

In saying "it is up to us to play the card" - implies in my view the acknowledgement of our free will experience in shaping future events though the outcome is determined by both our free will and the card we are dealt with.. So this is not a 'fatalistic' view

 

[Raji Ram]

I agree with your post but the last line is going to bring a lot of criticism from some others.

Good guess! Comments are coming in...

 

[Raji Ram]

i started this thread for fun, now i am moved by the deep chord that the topic has struck in the heart of the reader, posts by Mr.Brahmanyan,CRavi, are really moving beyond description

Arun! You can expect more 'malarum ninaivugaL' form other members of this forum.

This thread got a 5 star when there were just 6 views. (I did not give.. So it is given by one in 5)
I am eagerly awaiting a few posts!! :ranger:

 

[Raji Ram]

.... Every part and act of our life is predestined, it is upto us to play the Cards dealt at the time of our birth.

Those who believe in God know that அவனின்றி ஓரணுவும் அசையாது! But we also know that opportunity knocks but once!Even if

our life is predestined, we have to make efforts to make it successful. I am reminded of a story. A strong believer of God who did not

know swimming, met with a boat accident. He was holding on to a floating wood and crying for help. Another boat came nearby and

the boatman offered help. He refused saying that God will help him. A few minutes later a small ship passed by and he refused to

board the ship. Then came a helicopter but this man waited for God to appear and save him. He drowned after a few hours of

struggle and went to heaven. He was angry with God, whom he was worshiping throughout his life and asked him why he did not

help his devotee! God told him with a smile,'Did you not realize that I had sent the boat, ship and the helicopter to save you?' :angel:

 

[Brahmanyan]

The challenge of leaving ones home town

i started this thread for fun, now i am moved by the deep chord that the topic has struck in the heart of the reader, posts by Mr.Brahmanyan, C.Ravi, are really moving beyond description

Dear Sri Arun Kumar,

True. The topic you have started has touched the deep chord that vibrates in our memory for many of us. After all, life is a chain of experiences. As we grow old, we are left with memories of these experiences that we would like to share with others.
When we live alone leaving our near and dear, in the midst of strangers in a foreign Country, we understand human nature better and the our attitude towards others also change. I had the opportunity of enjoying the respect and hospitality of good friends among Omani,Baluchi, Dhofari, Pakistani, Misri, Iraqi, Englishmen and Filipino apart from many from our own Country. None of them saw me as an Indian - Tamil Brahmin, neither I saw them as nationals belonging to other Countries or other Religion. As Sri C. Ravi has described beautifully our understanding of life broadens and changes a lot when we share the joy and sorrow of others devoid of sectarian differences.
Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

Language has never been a barrier for friendship. My mother in law was a very orthodox lady who always wears nine yards

saree. She was very friendly with our Bengali neighbour. They used to talk in Tamil and English respectively, for nearly one hour

every day! :thumb:

 

[prasad1]

Language has never been a barrier for friendship. My mother in law was a very orthodox lady who always wears nine yards

saree. She was very friendly with our Bengali neighbour. They used to talk in Tamil and English respectively, for nearly one hour

every day! :thumb:

When my daughter was 4 we visited India. The neighbor's kid was also 4. They played together for days, happily moving between the houses. My daughter did not know Hindi, and the neighbor's kid did not speak English. But they communicated.

 

[vsubbu48]

When I moved with my mother to Gujarat, she knew only Malayalam and Tamil. One day when I returned from office, I was surprised to see her in animated conversation with an old lady who was speaking in Marathi. After she left I asked my mother what she understood from the conversation. She said "Nothing, but I understood that she has problem with her daughter-in-law". As my mother was a patient listener, as she did not understand a word of it, the Marathi lady used her to drain out her emotions of a MIL and both of them developed a deep bond.

 

[venkat2206]

Arun! You can expect more 'malarum ninaivugaL' form other members of this forum.

This thread got a 5 star when there were just 6 views. (I did not give.. So it is given by one in 5)
I am eagerly awaiting a few posts!! :ranger:

Madam RR,

Malarum Ninaivugal - always a wonderful thing. In fact I expected much more posts in this thread even though Arun might have started this for fun. In the course of this, if we come across some of our old associates may be class mate in school, college with whom we have no contacts for quite a few years - then it will be really a wonderful thing.

Venkat K

 

[Raji Ram]

............ Malarum Ninaivugal - always a wonderful thing. In fact I expected much more posts in this thread even though Arun might have started this for fun.........

I agree with you Sir. 'Malarum NinaivugaL' are nice to share with others. I am also surprised why many star writers are

NOT writing in this thread ! :noidea:

 

[Mayuram V.Sankaran]

Shri Arun Kumar, I left home when I was young and still a student. I had to because my mother had also died and the parental home was initially rented out to help me complete my post-graduate education, then sold off and the proceeds partitioned among my brothers and sisters supposedly according to their contribution to the family with some amount thereof coming my way as my share for the road. And it has been more than four decades since I left home and some years later, my home city also! I have not left this country as others have done in search of a fortune or the good life abroad, but went to other cities in this country on occupations that took me there and finally, after retirement on superannuation at the age of sixty, settled in a city where I have no relatives and few friends for the sake of my daughter's education. Yes, I married rather late in life of my own choice because of my circumstances and have a daughter who is still studying in College. All that I can say of this life lived elsewhere than my home and home city is that this country is divided by linguistic regions, religions, caste, class and other kinds of grouping which make life very difficult at times just as it also gives a variety that is the spice of life. Basically we are all human beings and have the same drives, urges, thoughts, feelings and concerns. However, the differences that have arisen as a matter of historical continuity of living in different locations across the country can be difficult to bridge at times. They cleave us apart and keeps us living in isolated groups among the larger groups at any place. While the English language continues to be the 'dominant' language in government, business, professions, and other occupations, the promoters of Hindi language are trying hard to replace it as the lingua franca of the country. The Hindu religion is also becoming the 'dominant' religion to reckon with by other religious groups in spite of 'secularism' adopted by the Constitution. There is a way of doing things known as the 'Indian way' of doing things that is fast becoming a reality to reckon with in governmental, business, professional and other dealings (with corruption looming large). In short, life is not easy in this country of many linguistic regions, religions, castes and gender-related differences. We, the educated people of the country, just about manage to survive and live with a modicum of comfort. The plight of the poor migrant is even more harsh and pitiable.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Hearty congratulations to you too Mr. Arun for securing the coveted

5 (*)s status for your thread - just by asking a simple and

straightforward question from your heart! :clap2:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I am not sure whether I am also included in the said group of writers.

I did not write since I have said everything about my leaving the home

in my thread Life is Like that. Remember I am not supposed to repeat

my posts ???

I agree with you Sir. 'Malarum NinaivugaL' are nice to share with others. I am also surprised why many star writers are

NOT writing in this thread ! :noidea:

 

[Raji Ram]

1. I am not sure whether I am also included in the said group of writers.
2. I did not write since I have said everything about my leaving the home in my thread Life is Like that. Remember I am not supposed to repeat my posts??

1. You maintain 100% activity all the time and still have a doubt?

2. You need not copy paste all the events. But you can afford to post at least one page! :typing: