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Think it over!

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C RAVI said:
"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all"

-Helen Rowland.

To me, it sounds perfectly right...

A man can be happy if the woman understands him well and in return the woman can be happy with his all attention towards her. Her understanding is more important, that can ensure her complete love and trust towards him.

A woman can be happy if she finds her man doing everything for her due to his lots of love towards her and in return he can be safe and happy in her hands. His safety and happiness can be ensured only if she is satisfied with her Man's abundant Love, without making any efforts to peep into her inner self and understand what exactly she is thinking and doing.
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dear ravi!
rightly said. ladies will easily understand men and reverse is very dificult. that is why we say women are fuzzle and you can not measure their feelings.accept their actions and you will be a successful husband.life is like drawing the milk from the cow.
guruvayurappan
 
Wisdom is a deep understanding and realization of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to apply perceptions, judgements and actions in keeping with this understanding.

It often requires control of one's emotional reactions or passions so that universal principles, reason and knowledge prevail to determine one's actions.

Wisdom is also the comprehension of what is true coupled with optimum judgment as to action.

Synonyms include: sagacity, discernment, or insight.

Loss of eye sight, loss of hearing, loss of memory are all secondary compared to this gain in wisdom.

Please think it over. :)

Raghy said:
Sowbagyavathy V R, Greetings.

I refer to your message in post #1111 (!).

I said 'sharp thinking.... and lighting fast reflex'. Sharp thinking is not physical. I mentioned 'lightening fast reflex' to denote the speed with which the brain could process information. What is wisdom? Is it not taking wise decisions too? When do we get dementia and alzhimers? We don't get them while we are young; we get them as we get older. வயசு ஆயிடுத்து....ஞாபக மறதி!...we usually associate loss of memory with advancement of age. How can we have shrewed and sharp decisions from ripe old person? Although we are so experienced, we are so hesitant to perform even a simple task as get older; we are afraid of failures. We lack the same confidence we had while we were young. Is this not the usual dialogue in most houses?.....வயசாயுடுத்தோல்லியோ? கிருஷ்ணா ராமான்னு ஒரு பக்கமா உக்கார வேண்டியதுதானே? உனக்கோ உடம்பும் முடியலை ; போறாத குறைக்கு, ஞாபக மறதி வேற! கண்ணும் சரியாத்தெரியலை... Wisdom!......yeah right!

Cheers!
Click to expand...
 
Raghy said:
Sowbagyavathy V R, Greetings.

'Kama' is not just lust; ''kama' is desire. Getting old does not reduce desires. Getting old depletes energy; so, due to inability, desires are reduced. That is all. If someone could muster enough energy, irrespective of age, 'kama' continues. At one time I use to work for a great gentleman. He used to say " if a person has energy to carry just a hand bag full of husk only, even with that energy he/she would desire for gratifications. That is human nature". He was right. 'Samsaram' is not just the life with wife and children; all the worldly deeds are 'samsaram'.

To overcome desire, the only way I knew is to get in and act upon that desire so that that does not leave any lingering traces in the mind; secondly, one has to make sure such desires should be reasonable and ethical. For example, desiring neighbour's wife is not exactly ethical. Then as one gets older, restrict the desires to simple pleasures and develop desiring pleasure of sharing and giving to others. Once we develop enjoying that pleasure, samsaram will start vanishing while we still act upon our desire of giving, helping others.

Cheers!
Click to expand...
dearrahy!
you are correct. it remindstheoldsaying
madu elaithalum kompu elaikavillai
meesai naraithalum asai naraikavillai
guruvayurappan
 
The best example is my thread Daily Dose of Interesting information.

You will find full length articles in the beginning.

As the bulk increased I had to switch over to shorter articles!

Now I am posting one or two sentences everyday!

This is right example for the saying. But the thread itself is by no

means a KAZHUTHAI! :nono:

guruvayurappan said:
dear VR!
kindlygive explanation for
kazhuthai theinthu katerumbu anapola
cheers,
guruvayurappan
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renuka said:
Dear Raghy ji,

Ok I will answer you.I am going to be brutally frank.
Satisfaction is a human trait and that comes by being judgmental.
If we are judging someone only then we can used the word satisfaction.

Once I had to do attend a Homa and the priest asked me after that if I was satisfied with the Homa.
I told him that I attended the Homa purely for the sake of God and not for any personal gain so I won't want to comment on satisfaction.
I told him if I say I am satisfied that means I should have been judging him while he was doing the Homa.
So I didnt judge him neither did I think of personal gain.

Ok same way..after a while of being in love..we will come to realize that being concern about our satisfaction is actually a selfish trait and that also comes by being judgmental.

As we age our desires get less and we start to appreciate everything done by near and close ones and do not really mind any occasional foul ups.

Its actually very much easier if we do not hope too much or think of satisfying ourselves cos there is no undue pressure on us.

Every human being wants to be loved that's our innate nature.
Frankly speaking to me the best form of love is preforming our duties in life to each other with minimum expectations and without judging each other.

Breathing space is also important.No woman wants to be smothered by men who have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for love.

Men who try to be overly loving do not realize that is actually a form of controlling and being dominating.
Love can make and Love can kill.

So for me as a woman I would say its nice to hear I Love you cos I like telling it too, Its nice to have some action and its nice to reciprocate in words and action and also fantasy.
Marriage is a conglomerate of love,action and healthy fantasy.

But for me no matter how much I love anyone there is always a voice in my head telling me "renu this is transient..don't forget that".
Click to expand...
renuji!
very nice frank opinion about love .i fully agree with you about the reciprocating love.love can make as well as kill is absolutely correct
regards,
guruvayurappan
 
virumbiyathu kidaikkaa vittaal

kidaiththai virumbu!

guruvayurappan said:
dear ravi!
successful marriage life is not defend on love alone. read the post of smt.VR.the marriage life continues cos of various duty and social setup as well as realisation of couples. If you did not get whAT you want,want what you have
good luck,
guruvayuarppan
Click to expand...
 
guruvayurappan said:
dear ravi!
successful marriage life is not defend on love alone. read the post of smt.VR.the marriage life continues cos of various duty and social setup as well as realisation of couples. If you did not get whAT you want,want what you have
good luck,
guruvayuarppan
Click to expand...

Shri Guruvayurappan,

YES!!!! I know this very well. In fact, in marriage LOVE is not just the pulsating hormonal influences. Its a mixture of Responsibility, Commitments and Obligations, the foundation of which is liking, love, respect, trust, confidence, better understandings between the couples and the sense of "mine/ours", Without which a married life can not be in harmony.

Just that the hormonal feelings of LOVE goes background while fulfilling duties and responsibilities of the family. Many tend to believe that LOVE is lost, just because couples have became more focused on day to day challenges and are always looking for accomplishments and perfections to the best possible level, for the whole family to prosper.

Despite the absence of SEX and LUST, couples keep going fulfilling their duties with sense of valuing the relationship, unmindful of differences that may crop from time to time. The foundation of all these is nothing but at least a bit of LOVE towards each other that could help them sustain their marriage, making compromises and adjustments, understanding and accepting each others human flaws.

 
ALL truths are NOT to be told. :nono:

Truths are not to be told to ALL. :nono:

Truths are not to be told all the time! :nono:

All truths are not to be told to ALL , all the time ! :tape:
 
Visalakshi Ramani said:
I was in a hurry and forgot Brahma, the real trouble-maker!

He is the easiest to be pleased.
He also does as he pleases. :high5:

Though He is the creator, He thinks of neither the past nor the future

and grants all kinds of weird boons to the asuras. :heh:

Vishnu has to feign to be asleep :sleep:

in order to keep alert and secretly plan
how to undo what Brahma has done!:moony:
Click to expand...

vishnu is sleeping not only to find ways to undo what brahma done but also what siva has done.
He is also pretending as sleeping to gain time to test the patience of devas and bakthas
guruvayurappan
 
Visalakshi Ramani said:
Ref 1138.

Is this wisdom??? :decision: Is this knowledge???
Click to expand...


Shmt V.R,

I don't know if its a wisdom BUT certainly its the knowledge that I could grasp from what my mother and father used to feel. I certainly agree with them and am happy to have known and accepted it as the fact and the right perception about the married life.
 
Visalakshi Ramani said:
இது எப்படி இருக்கு???

When the two horoscopes matched well the father of the boy contacted the mother of the girl on phone. :phone:

(Apparently the father of the girl was NOT allowed to answer the incoming phone calls or to take important decisions) :tape:

Before the boy's father could ask her whether the girl was willing to relocate after the wedding, the mother of the girl asked him the same question regarding his son!!! :dizzy: :faint:
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dear VR!
this is aroutine affair nowadays where eligible bride is available.always the girl's mother will speak and give
the standard reply that she wiii consult girl's father and call even though the decision will be of herself.in most of the cases the husband will be by the side of the phone.
guruvayurappan
 
Visalakshi Ramani said:
இது எப்படி இருக்கு???

The boy is well educated, good looking and earning in Euros!!!:popcorn:

A girl's jatakam matched well with the boy's.

The girls told him,"If you want to marry me

wind up your things and come to

my country/ my city/ my house.

I am my mom's only daughter.

I will never part with her!!!" :baby:

Does this mean that

THE BOY IS A SWAYAMBOO :shocked:

completely unattached to anyone else???:llama:
Click to expand...
dear VR !
the same type of dicussion happened for me also when i was seeking alliance for my youngest son.
the bride was second daughter and her elder sister,in-law and father were employed in dubai. the girl's
mother first asked whether they will be allowed to stay with their dauhter since they have no sons and willtreat son-in-law as son. after some talk,she added that she will get better job for my son at dubai and settle along with his in-laws
i closed the chapter saying my son need a wife and not job
guruvayurappan
 
Some of the proverbs are of late out dated. Occasional lapses in memory are
normal in aging adults is a general concept, but that does not mean they have
the problem of Alzheimer. Memory lapses can also be due to aggravating and
frustrating information that is being handled by the brain. Vitamin C, E & B12
tablets normally prevents memory decline and loss. I have seen people having
such medicines of late to overcome the problem.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
Raghy said:
Sowbagyavathy Renuka, Greetings.

I refer to your message in post # 1101.

I have no doubt. I am convinced, age and wisdom are not proportional ( also, education and wisdom are not proprtional either). Personally, I was the wisest when I was 19 - 23 years old. I just lost that sharp thinking, lightning fast reflexes ( yes, I had that. Even now sometimes this old body has a very fast reflex; but not like those years).

My wisdom was the lowest at the age of 53-54 years ( that is as of now. Don't know the future; it may further deteriorate). I know, Just one case, that too a person like me is a very bad choice of sample... but, from my own experience, wisdom and age are not directly proportional.

Cheers!
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Dear Raghy ji,

Nice to read that there is someone else like me in this world.
For me my reflexes are getting faster with age and thinking is getting faster too.
Memory also is better now than when I was younger but I would not want to call all that wisdom for me cos I have a different sort of thinking.

I will give you an example..sometime back a close relative brought her 19 year old daughter to me saying that the 19 year old likes one boy in her college and the boy is phoning her up often.
So the girl's handphone was taken away by her mother.

I was asked to advise the girl about life cos the girl was close to me and would easily empty her heart to me.
So I asked that girl whether she was serious about that guy and she replied that they are just friends but have some fondness with each other.
I asked her again whether she likes the attention she gets from him and she said yes.

Then I asked her mother to leave the room for a while and asked the girl if she had any physical relationship with that guy and she said No.
She said they have only held hands.

Then I advised her to be very sure till what extent she wants to take the relationship to cos these days there are handphones with cameras so be very careful of what you do cos you might land up in Youtube.

I told her if possible do not have pre marital sex but the hugging and kissing is up to her to decide cos that's the trust each couple has with each other.

I told the girl that do not get committed to anyone at a young age and this is only the 1st guy who is showing some interest so keep options open and wait and see if it's really love or just attraction or may be in the future someone better might show interest.


So I called back the mother to my room and told her there is nothing to worry cos let them be friends and if love develops we can wait and see where it leads to.

The mother was asking me "aren't you going to tell her not to talk to guys?"

I said "Why can't she talk to guys?"

The mother said "I expected you to tell her not to talk to guys and you give this advice instead!"

I told her mother " the more you suppress feelings the more the temptation and that's where the problems starts..so let her learn how to adjust to the world and falling in love is no crime"

I felt my advise was fair enough but my relative didn't think so.
Anyway the girl took my advise and she told me later that she felt it wasn't love and broke off with the guy and decided to wait till she was much older for a serious relationship.
 
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Good and Evil.

It is not every bad man that will ever be good,:angel:
but there will be no good man who was not at some time bad. :evil:
ST. Augustine.

No man is justified in doing evil :evil:
on the ground of expediency.:nono:
Theodore Roosevelt.
 
ஆலய வழிபாட்டு முறைகள் பதினெட்டு.

16. கோவிலில் தலை முடியைக் கோதுதல்; கூந்தலை அவிழ்த்து விடுதல், மூக்கைச் சிந்துதல், எச்சில் துப்பதல், வெற்றி போடுதல், காலை நீட்டி அமர்தல், படுத்தல், உறங்குதல், சூதாடுதல், வம்பு பேசுதல் கூடாது.

17. கோவிலுக்குச் சொந்தமான எந்தப் பொருளையும் எந்தக் காரணம் கொண்டும் வீட்டுக்கு எடுத்துச் செல்லக் கூடாது.

18. கோவிலுக்குச் சென்று வந்தபின் குளிக்கக் கூடாது. சிறிது நேரம் கழித்து கை, கால்களைக் கழுவிக் கொள்ளலாம்.
 
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