Think or sink!

[Raji Ram]

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Dear Renu,

Saving a marriage includes what you have explicitly written!

This is a public forum and we have to be conservative in replies!!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

Saving a marriage includes what you have explicitly written!

This is a public forum and we have to be conservative in replies!!

Dear RR ji,

Sex is a bodily function and its an important often neglected fact in most Indian marriages.

A couple that has sex often seldom divorces.

Sex according to philosophy binds the Kundalini Shakti of the male and female together...that is why one is advised to remain a virgin till marriage so that a perfect bond is formed between a virgin male and virgin female...also extra marital affair would loosen this bond by forming new unsteady bonds with new partners and cause instability in Kundalini shakti.

Don't know how far this is true..cos many Parama virgins marry another Parama virgin and still land in divorce and those who have had multiple liaisons pre marriage or post marriage are happily married.

So no idea if its Kundalini or some other force that bears the secret of a stable marriage.

Being Indian is the best...I can talk about sex yet remain conservative by linking it with Kundalini!LOL

Ma Sucha RR Ji.

 

[krish44]

If one is honest, nobody misunderstands.

We know renukaji .

So we are mentally prepared to expect this kind of post.

 

[renuka]

If one is honest, nobody misunderstands.

We know renukaji .

So we are mentally prepared to expect this kind of post.

Expect worse...I am capable of anything!LOL

 

[krish44]

Expect worse...I am capable of anything!LOL

Yes I know.lol

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Cos she can get free sex from him!LOL

NOT necessarily dear Renu! :nono:
More over when a woman is willing
she can get free sex from
any man she wishes to!
(God forbid this from happening!)
At least in India Sex is part of a marriage.
Be it a marriage or MARriage!
Still there is a stigma attached to Divorce!
It affects women more than men.(Gender bias???)

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Why do women alone try their best to save dysfunctional marriages ?

It is a serious gender issue.

Modern young women do not believe in it.

If something is not working out , get rid of it.

Why play suffering wife for a lifetime?

Dear Mr. Krish,
No one is perfect...... neither all men nor all women.
As the saying goes... A known devil is better than an unknown angel!
There have been cases where the separated spouses decide to come together again.
Most Man and woman RESIST changes...even if they may be for their betterment!
One should not land in the fire trying to escape from the frying pan! :flame:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

For the sake of children born by that bad marriage!

Th children suffer most when the parents get divorced.

For a wholesome development all kids need both their parents.

Girls get spoilt by the adoring dad unless the mother maintains strict discipline.

The boys get spoilt by the mother unless the dad gets is firm and strict.

If we need only one parent, God would have made it possible in His own special way.

The World id both too beautiful and too cruel for one to travel through LIFE alone!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Many lack courage to face life without man.

They put out the child story to continue in bad marriage

Dear Sir,
Lack of courage is not the real problem!
It is common knowledge that most men want only one thing from any woman.
If there is 'veli' in the name of 'thaali'.... he feels definitely discouraged.
Otherwise he feels encouraged to approach her shamelessly and without feeling any guilt!!!!
A property without a fence is a 'purampokku' - which anyone enter and take possession!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Once they get a replacement they get some courage!

Then they can even abandon children.

Dear Renu,

A man and a woman differ in their qualities right from the day of creation.

A man who has the mental make up of a woman becomes a SAINT!

A woman who has the mental make up of a man becomes a SINNER!

It is such women that run away from home/ abandon parents/ husband/

children for the sake of their own carnal pleasure!

There is proverb which says

"kolaiyum seivaaL paththini!" :scared:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Dear RR ji,

Sex is a bodily function and its an important often neglected fact in most Indian marriages.

A couple that has sex often seldom divorces.

Sex according to philosophy binds the Kundalini Shakti of the male and female together...that is why one is advised to remain a virgin till marriage so that a perfect bond is formed between a virgin male and virgin female...also extra marital affair would loosen this bond by forming new unsteady bonds with new partners and cause instability in Kundalini shakti.

Don't know how far this is true..cos many Parama virgins marry another Parama virgin and still land in divorce and those who have had multiple liaisons pre marriage or post marriage are happily married.

So no idea if its Kundalini or some other force that bears the secret of a stable marriage.

Being Indian is the best...I can talk about sex yet remain conservative by linking it with Kundalini!LOL

Ma Sucha RR Ji.

Dear Renu,
The Saint and Sidhdhar called Thurumoolar delas in great details about the union of a man and woman. He calls it as Paryanga yogam.

The man and woman when they unite physically must keep their minds focused on the Highest Reality named God. Then this physical act becomes a form or worship of God.

So even when doing something base, their minds are focussed on something superior.

I like the concept of offering even the act of sex to God.
I will give the links for anyone interested to read it here.

• 19. பரியங்க யோகம்
  • #825 to #828
  • #829 to #832
  • #833 to #836
  • #837 to #840
  • #841 to #844

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I had a rude awakening that I was suffering from diabetes 2
in 2009 when I stared passing drops of raw fresh blood along with my urine!

Since then I have been checking my fasting and Post Prandial sugar every month in a nearby lab.

They kept changing as does the mood of every woman over a period on one month.

I was never sure whether my values were well within limits or were soaring high above.

The sugar values just before I left India were shockingly high.
Thanks to my younger son and D.I.L .

I have my own glucometer kit with a 100 test strips, 100 lancet needles and 100 alcohol wipes.

The tiniest puncture is made and the smallest drop of blood pressed out of it is good enough to read the sugar value.

The very thought that I can monitor my sugar values at home, in addition to drinking the water with fenugreek (veindhayam) soaked in it has brought down my fasting sugar value fro ~ 120+ to 90+ now.

This is a land where we can't go Doctor Shopping (similar to Guru Shopping) as we used to India!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Whining is not Winning!

Instead of his own talents mining,
He spent all his time in whining!

His weak stem needed a twining,
On something stronger for veining.

Without any protective lining,
He was, his evil fate, signing.

He needed to work hard for shining,
Yet all he could do was just dining.

Success does not come smiling,
To those who just remain pining!

Pining does not lead to shining!
Whining does not lead to winning!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

A cat may look at a king but it can never become a king!!!:moony:

 

[krish44]

Conservative women are end products of a patriarchal brahmin order .

They are made to behave like slaves , made to suffer from guilt, shame and self loathing for not feeding to the expectations of men.

They are made to eat left overs after the males have consumed their food,made to go hungry and given very little physical space in house to occupy. I know many

women who sleep on bare floor where the only cot is for man.

The women are declared impure for certain days of the month and made to stay in dark rooms away from the gaze of menfolk

Women are not supposed to show their wisdom[men admire fools],have weak mental character[strong ones are despised].and be dumb dolls to be exhibited if man

desires to outsiders.Otherwise behind the scene manipulating women are the preferred entities men like

All womens habits like dress[Nine yards],postures[Acting coy hiding behind the door screen],cosmetics[haldi and kumkum?] and every aspect of appearance are to

comply with male power structure.

Many women think it is holy to live like this.

They are made to feel guilty about their children and made to remain in bad marriages when they are ill treated.

Basically a kind of feminine discipline is imposed on them by men with the support of a religeous order they follow.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

You are talking about women of my grandma's generation!

Look around to see the mAmis of the twenty first century!! :spy:

 

[krish44]

RRji
What has changed?

Men continue to be the same.

Has the patriarchal system developed cracks?

What changes do you see in conservative women?

When the mindset is one of subordination to the male changes can at best be cosmetic.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

One of our oldest family friends uses to put today's situation in a nutshell! In the olden times, women used to control men indirectly through their bed and food.

Now that they are educated, enlightened and earning members
SKY is the limit of the control they can exert directly or indirectly
on the poor, uncertain, dull witted, spineless, menfolk!

All males seem to be very brave and courageous when dealing with
the women who belong to the other men and other families

They become a snake-in-the-basket when it comes to
dealing with their own women folk and family members!
தன் பெண்டாட்டியை அடக்கத் துப்பில்லாத ஒருவன் :fear:
தன் தம்பி பெண்டாட்டியைச் சிங்கம் போல அடக்குவான்! :whip:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Today’s poem!

Fight VS Flight!

In the world of animals their fright,
Always leads to a fight or flight!

Not necessarily on a Royal Knight,
Whose nuts are screwed very tight!

He who lacks courage and might,
Turns himself into a creepy mite!

Venom is contained in his bite,
Tossing the victim in a sad plight.

He wants to prove his might.
But sadly he is not very bright!

He can not stand the very sight,
Of the people who do the right!

When ones mind is full of spite,
One finds solace in every slight!

This is not how we use our height,
Or our massive body's weight.

One can't bring down a kite,
Which can soar even at night!

What he needs is a cool Sprite,
To make him see the daylight!

And his mind must become white,
Whenever he sits down to write!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Is Dalmathakia the correct name???
Another site calls it Dolma?

But what is in a name?
A rose is a rose by any name!!!

I was offered this delicacy one day by my son and D.I.L ! It is rice rolled in grape leaves. It was the colour of mehandi paste and tasted sour.

Apparently it is a delicacy and a connoisseur's delight the word over!

We Indians need more spice and masala than what is there in this dish.
In the Indian restaurants these rolls are is cut into halves and made spicier by adding more masalas and kaaram. :hungry:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Egg plant (brinjal/ kaththarikkai) spreads are very famous,

very versatile and varied in taste /colour and consistency.

'Bread & Spread' is all one needs to survive here as a vegan/ vegetarian!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The mouth watering hummus in many colours and tastes!!! "yummmmm!"

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... What changes do you see in conservative women? ....

Dear Krish Sir,

Youngsters don't want to be conservative. The conservative women might be in the senior category!

They have been financially dependent on their husband, to bring up the children. The conservative nature helped them

to save the marriage but often they would lament about their plight to their near and dear ones, to get their sympathy.

One of my friends (not a tambrahm) comes from a rich family and her husband earned very well by working abroad. But,

he lost all the money earned, by giving loans to his friends and came back to India as a bankrupt. He is shunned by his wife

and two children! He lives alone in a room which he got as a share from his father's house. If he had kept his money safe,

his life would have been totally different.

So, conservative women tolerate the hubby as long as he is a 'golden goose'!

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

You are talking about women of my grandma's generation!

Look around to see the mAmis of the twenty first century!! :spy:

There is an in between generation of semi educated -at best a graduate whose mindset is to be housewife but work for a few years after marriage to supplement

family income and are in safe jobs like school teachers or librarians with regular work hours. The hang up fast to become house wives.In my generation many women

did that.These women enjoyed more freedom but yet remained docile conservative housewives under thumb of husband .

Only the new generation highly educated and earning women in demanding jobs have challenged the male mindset. They prefer western outfits to indian [read

sarees],like to possess high end flats, cars and have a mind of their own. They force their men to share house work,party weekends and refuse to put up with inlaws.

These have broken the traditional family structures and prefer to support their own families than their inlaws. They are open for a break up if relationships do not work out

 

[krish44]

I was finding out about dress preferance -why many girls prefer western outfits or churidhars to sarees.

First convenience and comfort, then economics-maintenance of sarees is expensive-like starching , pressing, drycleaning , storing and preserving cost far more.

In delhi most women even very seniors prefer salwar kameez to sarees. ,girls prefer jeans and tops for casual and skirts ore pants for office wear.Sarees are only for

occassions.

Boys ,men of course mostly wear halves,three quarters exhibiting their bare hairy legs and pants and shirts for official wear . T shirts for all casual ,friday dressing etc