What do you consider, are improper questions to ask?

[JR]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

My friend who is a divorcee always finds herself in situation where she has to explain her divorce -- even to new-comers.

There are people curious about your age, your marital status, your employment status, your family's net earnings, your professional designation, even your salary, your savings and your tangible and intangible assets.

For the past 2 yrs I have been home after having being a career-girl, I find the question 'Why are you home now?' the most challenging. I have my reasons which I consider quite valid (to me), but when I say that to people (which I have tried), I am met with a frown that ranges anywhere from disapproval to dismay...

What questions do you consider are inappropriate to ask? And how often have you faced them?

 

[krish44]

JRji
Pl remember.

You know nothing to anybody except yourself and there is no need to explain your rationale for giving up your job and staying home after a long career.

You owe it to yourself if you are burnt out.

You can do other things which make you feel better and happy. we basically need to care for ourself so that we are in a condition to do something for others if equired.

those who cannot accept this basic premise can go and jump in the lake.

i suggest you become discreet and avoid questioning people if you feel bad about their probing nature.

one needs to protect ones privacy.

I walked off from my job at 57 when I had three years left . I took VRS. many thought I was foolish as my kids had

not crossed school at that time.today I feel it was the best thing I did

returning to basic question , anything related to personal life of another person should not be asked.

if they volunteer one can lend an ear and not otherwise

 

[V.Balasubramani]

JR Ji,

There are lot of people with weird thoughts roaming around us who hastened to ask such awkward questions now and then. It is very difficult to make them understand that they are stepping out of their boundary. Some of them really do have a burning desire to peep into others personal life and thus irritate by shooting such questions.

The suggestive good method to deal with such situation to just nod one’s head and shift the subject to some sensational topic or move away from them with an excuse.

One cannot change their attitude and it is better to keep away from such crowd.

 

[renuka]

JR learn to give stupid answers..no one will bug you.

For me since I have one child (a son) relatives and my mothers friends keep bugging me why I only have one child and blah blah blah.

When I tell them that its my personal choice then they say things like "Pity your son..he will feel so lonely etc..blah blah blah..and you dont have a daughter..when you grow old sons wont look after parents and all cock and bull"

I used to get sick an tired of people bugging me and some even suspect that I am infertile and could only conceive once!LOL

So now when people ask me I give dumb illogical answers like "I only have one husband..so only one child"

Ok..that confuses people and they dont know how to react.


Ok now a different story:

I have cut down my working hours cos I want to relax a little and my patients keep asking me non stop why I have done that.

These people finish work at 5pm and I used to work at 9pm and now made it 8pm and yet people ask me why I work so less hours!

So now when people ask me why I reply "O I am getting lazy"

So JR..learn to give answers where people dont know how to reply.

The other day some guy who did not read my new timing sign board kept getting angry with me saying that whenever he comes I am closed.

Then I explained to him the new timings and yet when he came again he was complaining..when he comes I am closed..so this time I told him "next time come when I am open"

So give weird answers and confuse people..they wont bother you after a while.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Curiosity killed the cat.

Ignore them Cat will die

 

[zebra16]

Improper Question:

Querist: Are You married?

Responder: No.

Querist: How many children do you have?

Responder: huh?

 

[krish44]

Improper Question:

Querist: Are You married?

Responder: No.

Querist: How many children do you have?

Responder: huh?

equally improper
querist : how many children you have

responder : 2

querist: are you married?

responder ;?????

 

[krish44]

JR learn to give stupid answers..no one will bug you.

For me since I have one child (a son) relatives and my mothers friends keep bugging me why I only have one child and blah blah blah.

When I tell them that its my personal choice then they say things like "Pity your son..he will feel so lonely etc..blah blah blah..and you dont have a daughter..when you grow old sons wont look after parents and all cock and bull"

I used to get sick an tired of people bugging me and some even suspect that I am infertile and could only conceive once!LOL

So now when people ask me I give dumb illogical answers like "I only have one husband..so only one child"

Ok..that confuses people and they dont know how to react.


Ok now a different story:

I have cut down my working hours cos I want to relax a little and my patients keep asking me non stop why I have done that.

These people finish work at 5pm and I used to work at 9pm and now made it 8pm and yet people ask me why I work so less hours!

So now when people ask me why I reply "O I am getting lazy"

So JR..learn to give answers where people dont know how to reply.

The other day some guy who did not read my new timing sign board kept getting angry with me saying that whenever he comes I am closed.

Then I explained to him the new timings and yet when he came again he was complaining..when he comes I am closed..so this time I told him "next time come when I am open"

So give weird answers and confuse people..they wont bother you after a while.

many find it as difficult to act stupid as intelligent.lol

 

[JR]

JR learn to give stupid answers..no one will bug you.

For me since I have one child (a son) relatives and my mothers friends keep bugging me why I only have one child and blah blah blah.

When I tell them that its my personal choice then they say things like "Pity your son..he will feel so lonely etc..blah blah blah..and you dont have a daughter..when you grow old sons wont look after parents and all cock and bull"

I used to get sick an tired of people bugging me and some even suspect that I am infertile and could only conceive once!LOL

So now when people ask me I give dumb illogical answers like "I only have one husband..so only one child"

Ok..that confuses people and they dont know how to react.


Ok now a different story:

I have cut down my working hours cos I want to relax a little and my patients keep asking me non stop why I have done that.

These people finish work at 5pm and I used to work at 9pm and now made it 8pm and yet people ask me why I work so less hours!

So now when people ask me why I reply "O I am getting lazy"

So JR..learn to give answers where people dont know how to reply.

The other day some guy who did not read my new timing sign board kept getting angry with me saying that whenever he comes I am closed.

Then I explained to him the new timings and yet when he came again he was complaining..when he comes I am closed..so this time I told him "next time come when I am open"

So give weird answers and confuse people..they wont bother you after a while.

Dear Renuka,

That is a very smart way of handling things... I do not have that! I am also little afraid to give bold, cut-throat replies in real life! (This is a secret, but I can safely reveal this to forum friends).

 

[JR]

Thank you for responding, Renuka ji, Krish ji, Balasubramani ji, Janaki ji, Zebra ji!

 

[Jaykay767]

Hang on folks!! Lets put this in the right perspective.

Indians have a tendency to ask these personal questions, no doubt, however they are asking out of genuine concern & it is in our cultural ethos to have extended Joint families, close relatives & friends. Maybe1 or 2 might ask to put you down, but they are more the exception.

No one in the west will ever come to help if you need, however having strong Indian friends will make all the difference. They will not only come to help you in a dire crisis, they will even go out of the way to resolve it !!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renuka,

That is a very smart way of handling things... I do not have that! I am also little afraid to give bold, cut-throat replies in real life! (This is a secret, but I can safely reveal this to forum friends).

Dear JR,

Say whatever you want with a SMILE.

But if the situation warrants us to be firm..go ahead and say what you want.

I feel you are a bold,outspoken and you do not mince your words...there is no reason to fear anyone...in fact you have never been afraid at all in Forum. In fact sometimes I am "scared" of you!LOL

How else did I correctly guess that you are a Scorpio?

 

[renuka]

Hang on folks!! Lets put this in the right perspective.

Indians have a tendency to ask these personal questions, no doubt, however they are asking out of genuine concern & it is in our cultural ethos to have extended Joint families, close relatives & friends. Maybe1 or 2 might ask to put you down, but they are more the exception.

No one in the west will ever come to help if you need, however having strong Indian friends will make all the difference. They will not only come to help you in a dire crisis, they will even go out of the way to resolve it !!

Now this is an improper answer!LOL

 

[Jaykay767]

Renuka JI - It may be funny to counter on a public forum !. But when one faces a dire crisis, lets see if they call their Indian friends, relatives for help who you despise for asking so many personal questions OR a westerner who you idolize so much about valuing privacy!!! Actions always speak louder than words !!

 

[Vaagmi]

Now this is an improper answer!LOL

India is the country where I have seen complete strangers on the road, busy with their own driving task, waving and warning you frantically about your two wheeler head-light being on in the midday of the April summer or your sedan's front passenger side door being not closed. I have come across people who take extra effort to push their pedal, come closer to you and warn you of your unclosed door. I never had this experience in any other country. what do we call this by the ever glorious western standards? Being intrusive? Nosing around?

 

[renuka]

Renuka JI - It may be funny to counter on a public forum !. But when one faces a dire crisis, lets see if they call their Indian friends, relatives for help who you despise for asking so many personal questions OR a westerner who you idolize so much about valuing privacy!!! Actions always speak louder than words !!

Dear JK,

I do not idolize any one single race and neither do I generalize.
I do not like to divide humanity into East and West.

Good people exist everywhere.

But I do not like my privacy to be invaded by too many questions by people around me.

You know when someone tells me that they just had a baby..I never even ask them the sex of the child.

I just say congrats and wish them well..I wait for them to tell me the gender.

So many people will directly ask the sex of the child and also go one step further and ask how many kilograms was the baby.

When I delivered my son at the same time my husband's cousin also delivered and boy was I getting calls non stop from his relatives asking me how many kilo is my son blah blah blah.

Then when some came to see my son..they were even pulling my sons leg to see whose baby has longer legs!

Then the comparison did not stop there it continued as they boys grew..every now and then they would want to find out how my son is doing in school.

I never used to say a word cos my son is very good in studies and I did not want anyone to compare cos the other boy is not as good as my son (from what my husband was told) and I did not want kids to be compared but yet people want to compare and contrast.

So I told my husband not to tell them anything and tell them its best not to compare the school results of the kids.

So do you think in anyway this is helpful behavior?

 

[krish44]

India is the country where I have seen complete strangers on the road, busy with their own driving task, waving and warning you frantically about your two wheeler head-light being on in the midday of the April summer or your sedan's front passenger side door being not closed. I have come across people who take extra effort to push their pedal, come closer to you and warn you of your unclosed door. I never had this experience in any other country. what do we call this by the ever glorious western standards? Being intrusive? Nosing around?

have you tried walking on the beach with pants partially wet due to the ocean water. many will tell you that your pant is wet which you already know. this is indian character.it is impossible to drive with lights on in a vehicle at daytime without being told about it. you will also be told by strangers to wear your veshti high if it touches ground by any chance. indians are so helpful.lol

 

[biswa]

This is absolutely true. Indians try to help you as if it their business while Westerners want to have their "space". Generally the social fabric is weak in the west. Nobody knows their neighbors and nobody cares.

 

[Jaykay767]

Hi Renuka JI –

One has to always look at such issues holistically. If you isolate an event & only talk about it, then it appears that Indians are nosy & invade privacy.

Other way to look at is – Indians by & large are good people, they are not cunning, they enquire out of genuine curiosity, concern, & they will do everything to help when one is in a crisis! One shout for help to Indians is enough to bring a large group immediately!!

And there is NO shame or political incorrectness to say -I absolutely value & respect my countrymen more than any other race &we are superior to everyone else!

Lets be proud of us Indians!!

Cheers,

 

[sarang]

Belittling and making fun of values is the trend now and what was accepted and practiced, say three decades ago, is no longer possible. In train compartments it was quite normal to exchange details of family and location, and share food amongst co passengers. Both these practices are dangerous now, as there is a lurking fear that the food may be doped and personal details shared will be misused to cheat and rob. Sharing of personal details was a blessing in many ways, like finding alliances and jobs for own and relatives' and neighbours' children, and for building a possible relationship for the benefit of both.

 

[Vaagmi]

have you tried walking on the beach with pants partially wet due to the ocean water. many will tell you that your pant is wet which you already know. this is indian character.it is impossible to drive with lights on in a vehicle at daytime without being told about it. you will also be told by strangers to wear your veshti high if it touches ground by any chance. indians are so helpful.lol

krishji,

I never had this pant and veshti experience.

I think indians should stop being nosy and intrusive. Atleast they should stop getting on to the pants and veshtis of others. LOL.

 

[prasad1]

Post#15, 17, 18
Very uniquely Indian experiences.
Even after so many years I am still guilty of following such traits. LOL

 

[JR]

Dear JR,

Say whatever you want with a SMILE.

But if the situation warrants us to be firm..go ahead and say what you want.

I feel you are a bold,outspoken and you do not mince your words...there is no reason to fear anyone...in fact you have never been afraid at all in Forum. In fact sometimes I am "scared" of you!LOL

How else did I correctly guess that you are a Scorpio?

Dear Renu,

You are so sweet to say such nice things...

I think Scorpio is a very rajasic sign though... I pray regularly to ward off some negative influences of this sign.

If you see me in real life, you will agree that I am quiet, soft-spoken, not too bold, gentle type.

I think you are type that you describe me to be - bold, outspoken and quite daring/brave. (Also endearing!)

Bravo to you girl!

 

[P.J.]

JR Ji

When faced with such questions, just change the topic and move away from that place to do some errand work like taking water from fridge etc.

Never reply to them anything remotely connected to your personnel life.

These people will surely understand that you don't want to continue the conversation.

 

[JR]

Dear PJ ji,

Thank you very much for the kind advice. Will follow.