Who is more possessive? Men or Women?

[Raji Ram]

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when wives get their own child , they will return son to her mother in law . until then MIL has to be patient. it is normal for women to be possessive about their sons. somehow , they do not care as much about daughters.they accept that daughters will find their matches and go away

Dear Krish Sir,

The son might be given back to his wife but son's financial support will be still sought by the mother!
Some women are more worried about the son-in-law because he is the one who buys their flight tickets to the U S of A!! lane:

 

[Raji Ram]

The womans possessiveness of a son is more than mans possessiveness of his son ..Here pure economy plays..The mother is more dependent on a son to take care of her in old age..So the possession is more..Also 10 months in the tummy syndrome (பத்து மாதம் வயிற்றில் சுமந்தேனே) also affects the psyche of a woman!

Dear Ganesh Sir,

Very true. Movies have made the 10 months in tummy syndrome most effective!

Many men are real pAvams! :tsk:

 

[Raji Ram]

1)Most of the marriages...............a MIL who is possessive about her son and a DIL who wants to destroy that possessiveness overnight.

2)It just means the son is stupid.

1. This is probably called 'thalaiyaNai mandhiram'. :lol:

2. May be the stupidity leads to more possessiveness!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

In the movie I wrote about in an earlier post, the fight reaches the climax when the girl asks that lady why she did not get the

'thAli' also from her son, if she did not want anyone in between her and her son! This makes the lady get really mad at that girl. :mad2:

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... So if any son wants to have a successful marriage without their mothers interfering..he better send his parents on 2nd honeymoon and not Vanaprastha!LOL

Dear Renu,

Very good suggestion! But the oldies should be able to tolerate each other! :boink:

 

[Raji Ram]

......... Possessiveness is more deeprooted. It is an outcome of insecure feeling which is raw. Bossing is an instrument used to put someone on a tether and is deliberate. Bossing can be a manifestation of underlying insecurity and possessiveness. Bossing can be contained by defensive and offensive countermeasures. Possessiveness has to be handled more carefully. It involves handling brittle minds. A lot of talking with concerned individuals and sharing private moments is necessary for that. Only with that kind of heavy investment possessiveness can be contained. It requires maturity and patience.

Thanks for the well analyzed post, Sir!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

Very good suggestion! But the oldies should be able to tolerate each other! :boink:

Dear RR ji,

I once had a patient who was being 'troubled' by her MIL and I told her to try to make FIL amd MIL close with each other buy them some gifts on Valentine's day and ask them to go for a holiday together etc and it worked!

MIL stopped bothering her DIL once she started getting close to her husband.

BTW RR ji..oldies will only claim that they cant stand each other but they can jump on you if you suggest to them that they dont seem to stand each other..whenever my dad and mum argue these days..sometimes I tell them "why dont you guys just call it the quits instead of arguing"..the next moment both will jump on me and say 'we are husband and wife..we will argue but that does not mean we have to give each other up ..we believe in death do us part" and the very next moment they will stop arguing!LOL

So you see oldies claim they cant stand each other but actually cant live without each other too!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

In the movie I wrote about in an earlier post, the fight reaches the climax when the girl asks that lady why she did not get the

'thAli' also from her son, if she did not want anyone in between her and her son! This makes the lady get really mad at that girl. :mad2:

The best dialogue would be the MIL tells the DIL "Aama Di...you have only the Thali..I have the Umblical Cord that gave life to him! So which is greater?? Thoppul Kodi or Thali Kodi??""


Then there will be a close camera shot to the MIL's face and DIL's face.. and the husband turns around to see the fight between mother and wife and this scene is shown three times and finally TO BE CONTINUED!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

You can suggest titles for movies! "Thoppul kodiyA? ThAlik kodiyA?" like Visu's movie titles.

This can be even a pattimandram title!!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

You can suggest titles for movies! "Thoppul kodiyA? ThAlik kodiyA?" like Visu's movie titles.

This can be even a pattimandram title!!

yes..it would be the most watched debate!

 

[Raji Ram]

There was a movie 'Thaayin maNikkodi' in which many dances showed 'belly buttons' of girls.

So the comment was: The title could have been ''Thoppul kodi''!!

 

[krish44]

dear RR,

Possessiveness is more deeprooted. It is an outcome of insecure feeling which is raw. Bossing is an instrument used to put someone on a tether and is deliberate. Bossing can be a manifestation of underlying insecurity and possessiveness. Bossing can be contained by defensive and offensive countermeasures. Possessiveness has to be handled more carefully. It involves handling brittle minds. A lot of talking with concerned individuals and sharing private moments is necessary for that. Only with that kind of heavy investment possessiveness can be contained. It requires maturity and patience.

sir,
you are drawing a thin line between possessiveness and bossism. bossism could be due to other causes not necessarily possessiveness.very few bosses in office are possessive about their subordinates.some bosses in home context could be possessive.mostly men are bossy and wives are possessive. I hope I have confused enough

 

[krish44]

rrji
aeyo porukkalai.post36
kavigyare yen eppadi aahi vitteergal?

 

[kovilooran]

As one grow older many lose the capacity to share. I have seen adults & old even preserve little things like small packings, pads, sheets, worthless empty bags. On the other hand these people also do not want to share books and other materials which they do not use are not able to use. I don't know whether attachment increases with age.
I know of a old man who was conscious till he died and he did not want to part some coins which he possessed and kept it closed in his hand MUTTI till he breathed his last.
Females do share and not possessive depending on the relation.
Family learns sharing only from the females. If you have a mother of this quality the virtue will be passed on to all family members.