Why children are taking their old parents to court?

[V.Balasubramani]

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[h=1]Till property tear us apart: Why children are taking their old parents to court[/h]
In a windowless room in Delhi, a group of elderly people are sitting, watching television and passing time as they wait for lunch. Abandoned by their families and left to fend for themselves in their twilight years, time is all these people have left.

“The very people who we loved more than our lives, kicked us out…I feel the loss of my children and grandchild every day. But they have never called me, nor have they ever been ashamed that they abandoned me,” says 86-year-old GS Bhatia, choking on his words as tears well up in his eyes.

A resident of Moradabad in Uttar Pradesh, Bhatia’s woes started the day he willed his property to his two sons. “They said, ‘daddy, hum aapko nahin khila sakte, aap doosra raasta naap lo (We can’t feed you. Please find your own way),” he adds.

He is living at the Gharaunda old age shelter in South Delhi since 2005. It has also been 11 long years since he last saw his children.

Read more at: http://www.hindustantimes.com/india...ts-to-court/story-1m2e0qmJPcrQhYWaDRui7L.html

 

[yesmohan]

" YArOdu vanthOm ... YArOdu pOka " ( with whom we came to his world and with whom we have to go)

 

[tbs]

hi

parents can take care of NINE CHILDREN.....NINE CHILDREN CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEIR PARENTS....its really...even in the west...

atleast remember on MOTHERS DAY/FATHERS DAY....today is FATHER'S DAY....its very sad story in india..

 

[yesmohan]

hi

parents can take care of NINE CHILDREN.....NINE CHILDREN CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEIR PARENTS....its really...even in the west...

atleast remember on MOTHERS DAY/FATHERS DAY....today is FATHER'S DAY....its very sad story in india..

By celebrating a day in a year......people honestly admit that mother / father are left forgotten for the rest of the 364 days; all western culture; we also follow it to forget the parents.

 

[Raji Ram]

Why blame the West for each and every mean act of the Indians? :noidea:

It is not the Mother's Day or Father's day that is the reason for dragging the parents to the courts.

It is mostly because of the wicked daughters in law, very much available in India! :evil:

 

[tbs]

Why blame the West for each and every mean act of the Indians? :noidea:

It is not the Mother's Day or Father's day that is the reason for dragging the parents to the courts.

It is mostly because of the wicked daughters in law, very much available in India! :evil:

hi

really...in some cases....some WICKED SONS/SON IN LAW TOO....

 

[yesmohan]

No parents will blame their sons; but only D/Ls.

So also, no parents will blame their daughter; but only S/Ls.

It is quite natural.

 

[yesmohan]

Why blame the West for each and every mean act of the Indians? :noidea:

It is not the Mother's Day or Father's day that is the reason for dragging the parents to the courts.

It is mostly because of the wicked daughters in law, very much available in India! :evil:

Nobody is wicked by nature. Actually, others will look like...........what really we are !

 

[Raji Ram]

Nobody is wicked by nature. Actually, others will look like...........what really we are !

Is it so, Mohan Sir? Then why do wicked persons appear even in epics?

If there is one Sita there will be one Kaikeyi!

BTW, no one is 100% good or 100% bad. Kaikeyi was cruel to Rama because she was a devoted mother and daughter!

 

[krish44]

Most parents behave in strange ways that call for their being thrown out on the streets.

Why blame DILs or SILs.?

I am against the idea of parents latching on to their children at any age.

Parents should learn to be independent and not show their helplessness under any circumstances.

We seniors can find someone young who would care for us for monetory consideration and simply absorb them in our family.

A paid service is always better than a service rendered by children as a matter of duty.

In former case , we can demand service or find alternatives if not suitable.

 

[rishikesan]

Mr Krish, Your suggestion is correct & can be tried these days. only thing is those Brahmins should be liberal to those youngsters, no strinjency whatsoever, because it is for you , more so money must be available with such old person & if he helps that youngster, & win his affection, he can get lot of things done, with no grudge.
A.Srinivasan (Rishikesan )

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish sir,

Please go through the OP before writing replies.

 

[prasad1]

I think Krishji is right. The parents should be financially independent. They must keep their assets till they die.
They can decide how the assets are shared after they are gone. If they need assistance, they should get paid assistance. Unfortunately you can not get good paid assistance these days. The money runs out before life ends. So some times the children are the safety net.

 

[rishikesan]

all said & DONE === children Are safety net & a close family friend. It is also a point That these days.nothing can be fool-proof & can be taken for granted. All may ditch you at some critical juncture.Take guidance from Wife & any true friend & Rely on God.
But show thayou are liberal & would not hesitate to spend for those who look after you from time to time .
A.Srinivasan

 

[vgane]

Are we ready to take criticism in our stride...

If not staying with children is ruled out...

Are we ready to tolerant some high decibel shouting by the rest...

Then staying with them is ruled out...

If we are ready for compromises then we can live with anyone even our children in old age!

 

[krish44]

I think Krishji is right. The parents should be financially independent. They must keep their assets till they die.
They can decide how the assets are shared after they are gone. If they need assistance, they should get paid assistance. Unfortunately you can not get good paid assistance these days. The money runs out before life ends. So some times the children are the safety net.

I understand that money may run out. In india education and marriage expenses of children can drain parents. most are left with pensions and an old family home/flat and a few deposits. This is hardly sufficient for paid assistance.hence this dependance on children.

Economic independant working women have damaged conventional family structures and in laws staying with them is a big no-no.most boys have to choose between

wlfe and parents.Their choice naturally is wife.Even finance support for old parents from children cannot be taken for granted.Thus parents are left to hang. It is a

belated realisation for many seniors that blood is thinner than water.Lack of forethought in finance management can lead to disastrous results for seniors.

 

[krish44]

Are we ready to take criticism in our stride...

If not staying with children is ruled out...

Are we ready to tolerant some high decibel shouting by the rest...

Then staying with them is ruled out...

If we are ready for compromises then we can live with anyone even our children in old age!

Our children are products of our upbringing.

We cannot be compromising with them on what we have believed in all our lives.

We can shut our doors on high decibel shouts from the rest.

We aspire and will live the way we want.

compromises are for the weak and cowards.

 

[GANESH65]

Joint family and Maata, Pita, Guru - Daivam sort of a culture are long gone! So even if parents stay with their children, one should not misunderstand that they are being taken care off, their role in the family will be not more than a care taker for routine domestic chores. Seldom they enjoy any power in decision making in family affairs, let alone other matters. The status may slightly vary as per your Physical as well financial health at times. It is always good to be independent for the sake of self esteem. It happens in every family poor and rich, city based or rural, TB or other community. We can put the blame on some what faster life styles of current days. Both husband and wife needs to work and the 9 to 5 plus work pressure and additional 3 to four hours of travel daily will surely dry them out completely and most probably would be exhausted for the day. This is the point where the stress starts showing up and any interference from the parental side is an open invitation for trouble. Expertise in handling such situation is the survival technique. In case you vote for joint family, practice it well.....

 

[mkrishna100]

Joint family and Maata, Pita, Guru - Daivam sort of a culture are long gone! So even if parents stay with their children, one should not misunderstand that they are being taken care off, their role in the family will be not more than a care taker for routine domestic chores. Seldom they enjoy any power in decision making in family affairs, let alone other matters. The status may slightly vary as per your Physical as well financial health at times. It is always good to be independent for the sake of self esteem. It happens in every family poor and rich, city based or rural, TB or other community. We can put the blame on some what faster life styles of current days. Both husband and wife needs to work and the 9 to 5 plus work pressure and additional 3 to four hours of travel daily will surely dry them out completely and most probably would be exhausted for the day. This is the point where the stress starts showing up and any interference from the parental side is an open invitation for trouble. Expertise in handling such situation is the survival technique. In case you vote for joint family, practice it well.....

Well said .

 

[tbs]

Joint family and Maata, Pita, Guru - Daivam sort of a culture are long gone! So even if parents stay with their children, one should not misunderstand that they are being taken care off, their role in the family will be not more than a care taker for routine domestic chores. Seldom they enjoy any power in decision making in family affairs, let alone other matters. The status may slightly vary as per your Physical as well financial health at times. It is always good to be independent for the sake of self esteem. It happens in every family poor and rich, city based or rural, TB or other community. We can put the blame on some what faster life styles of current days. Both husband and wife needs to work and the 9 to 5 plus work pressure and additional 3 to four hours of travel daily will surely dry them out completely and most probably would be exhausted for the day. This is the point where the stress starts showing up and any interference from the parental side is an open invitation for trouble. Expertise in handling such situation is the survival technique. In case you vote for joint family, practice it well.....

hi

its reality....well said...

 

[vijiseeni]

I know one gentle man named his house as ANNAI ILLAM. But his mother was in MUDHIYOOR ILLAM ((senior citizen home) . What an irony?

 

[kunjuppu]

Our children are products of our upbringing.

We cannot be compromising with them on what we have believed in all our lives.

We can shut our doors on high decibel shouts from the rest.

We aspire and will live the way we want.

compromises are for the weak and cowards.

dear krish, i dont know, how much of this is valid. i have seen bad apples grow out of good trees. even amazing, i have relatives, parents who are awful and shameful example of parenthood. their children are gems. these children, i am amazed and consider miracles.

 

[Raji Ram]

dear krish, i dont know, how much of this is valid. i have seen bad apples grow out of good trees. even amazing, i have relatives, parents who are awful and shameful example of parenthood. their children are gems. these children, i am amazed and consider miracles.

:clap2: Very true!

One good for nothing mAmA has four good children!

May be, the father set an example of how a person should NOT be!

 

[mkrishna100]

May be, the father set an example of how a person should NOT be!

Even in my own family Circle one of the sons behavior was way different from that of his parents and he said that his parents are perfect example of how a person should not behave .