Why do humans brag?

[renuka]

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I thought this would be an interesting topic for the day.

The issue of bragging was brought up in another thread and that set my mind wondering. 'Why do humans brag?"

Now I had to let my mind go back in time and in every direction to get an answer..

Well you see Bragging Starts in Childhood and males start to brag first!

Really..when a little boy goes to the kindergarten and goes to the bathroom he will invariably compare his 'wee wee" with another boy and feel he has a bigger "wee wee'.

I have heard enough little boys brag that they have a bigger wee wee than another.

Ok next boys again brag to each other that "My Papa is stronger that your Papa"

Now girls start to brag later..during puberty when some become well endowed they start to feel a bit proud that they have bigger knockers than others.

So it seems to me humans do brag but why??

The same reason why a Lion roars..to establish themselves and to scare off potential rivals and threats.


I saw a cat today trying to defend itself from a dog.The dog actually was not bothered about the cat but the cat went into defensive mode and went into the famous cat pose where it raises its spine and the fur stands and the cat looks bigger and more fierce as to scare the dog and the dog did not even look at the cat!LOL

Anyway..that is nature..to puff up the self to feel secure and to ward off potential threats and attacks.

So humans could have developed bragging as a way to defend themselves from potential threats.

At a primal state its all about survival and its pure... there is no jealousy or pride involved but as the human evolved..the mind still had the Vasanas(imprints) of its animal and primal state and continued bragging but it got tainted with Mada and Matsarya and lost its virginal state.

Therefore we see people bragging about their profession,money,position,looks and even about their humility.

Therefore if we can understand the real reason why humans brag its finally not really a big deal.

Even humility is bragging turned inside out!

A true balanced human is neither humble nor arrogant.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

We talk of our merits and please do not brand it as bragging! Right from childhood it starts.

'My parents are richer; they own a huge car; they buy whatever toy I ask for'... and so on...

In the teenage, the concept 'I' enters!

'I got more marks; I have better skin color; I know four languages; I can paint well; I cook well; I sing well'... and so on...
After wedding, spouse also enters the list! All the plus points are told to the friends, though there might be :fencing:

inside the sweet home!

Then the merits of the children; then their spouses; then their children....

So, there is no end to 'telling the merits', which we sometimes think is bragging! :lol:

 

[renuka]

Dear RR ji,


You are right! We humans are hopeless! We go on and on talking about our merits!
Its high time we talk about our demerits too.

May be I should start a thread called 'My Other Unknown Side" so that we can balance our talking about merits and demerit..that way no Karma is earned! We need to get the Karmic balance to zero.

But RR ji...you forgot one more thing: SPIRITUAL BRAGGING.

I once had a person brag so much to me that he is so spiritually high and an astral traveler and he said I cant imagine how advanced he is in astral travelling.

You see I would have believed him that he is spiritually high but then he started saying "its beyond your thinking capacity to even know how high I am"

Then I though 'Ok da..this guy is asking for it"

I think I told this before in Forum that this person is a sales rep and when he came to see me one day he knocked and knocked at my door and I did not open till he asked my staff why I am not opening the door.

Then I asked my staff to open the door and he asked me "Why didnt u open the door? I thought you were not in"

I said "Hey I thought you were such an advanced astral traveler so I was wondering why you didnt just walk thru my door"

After that day he never said a word of being spiritually high.

Now lets see what else we humans brag about?

Ok Ok...I remember..when I was a teen my friend used to brag that her dog is smarter than my dog and her dog knows tricks that my dog does not know.

Once my friend came to my house and said she is going to test my dog.

I tried to teach my dog how to shake hands..roll over etc and he never used to follow instructions at all and never bothered to learn.

So I thought "Ok..here goes today..my friend is surely going to call my dog dumb"

But my dog surprisingly shook hands..rolled over and did much more when he was tested by my friend.

Then he came near me and started to snuggle close.

I was thinking "OMG my dog saved my face!"

Then after my friend left I tried to ask my dog to shake hands again and he gave me his usual disinterested look.

So even my dog knew when and to whom to brag!LOL

 

[renuka]

Dear RR ji,

I remember seeing an English comedy where 2 oldie males visit the graveyard regularly to place flowers at their respective wife's tomb stone.

One is an African American and another is a Caucasian.

The African American decorated his wife's tomb stone well one day and the Caucasian oldie got mad with him and said "Hey do you think your wife's tomb stone looks better than my wife's tomb stone? Are you trying to show off that your wife is better than my wife"

And they both fought!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

Moral of the 'tomb stone' story: Bragging leads to enmity!

 

[krish44]

Why do humans brag?
Very interesting question.
I think mostly those who are not confident of themselves try to bolster their self image thru this process,
When others accept their superiority , they feel satisfied with themselves.
If others are not generous in their praise , they will try to add further to their qualities and achievement and sometimes get into a world of imagination regarding themselves.
There is no harm in putting up with these types . They are quite harmless though they might be considered bores and insufferable,lol

 

[Raji Ram]

There was one female Veena artist in Coimbatore who claimed that she plays exactly like Sri. Chitti Babu. She invited me and my

younger sister to her concert! We wondered... how come this lady plays a concert?!! Just for curiosity sake, we went to the concert.

She struggled even to set the Sruthi correctly! She had seen us on the stage to maintain thALam, when Sri. Chitti Babu gave a concert

a few months back. In fact, I wished to see his fingering techniques and he was generous enough to allow us on the stage. OK!

She called my younger sister showing in action that she wants her to maintain thALam for her program. My sister knew that but didn't

like her comparing herself with the great maestro. She went near her and asked, 'Madam! VeeNaikku Sruthi chEkkaNumA?'

With a frown, that lady retorted, 'illa illa. enakkE chEkkath theriyum. chummAthAn kooppittEn!'

 

[krish44]

I had a professional colleague who would talk about his 'level' in office and brag about his seniority and tell you to which level you belong trying to belittle you in front

of others. we had a system of classification and higher the level , you are considered higher in heirarchy.He would brag how he has made it to his level at young age

Some of spouses of senior officers were still worse. They would be status conscious [Status of husband of course] and treat other officers wives badly if they happen to

come across . They would also brag about their husbands achievements

 

[Raji Ram]

Ladies married to Army officers are the worst kind.

I have watched in a few get togethers, how they treat the spouses of junior officers!

 

[krish44]

many have an english hang up.

those speaking convent english act superior to those from govt schools who have studied in regional medium and are not fluent in speaking english.

chetan bhagat has written a novel "Half Girl Friend'about a bihari not knowing english and his predicament in transacting with a english speaking convent educated girl

and how he gets looked down upon by others.

 

[renuka]

Dear Krish ji,

I know a person who used to brag to everyone that he is such a Romeo Casanova and brag non stop that other men have not luck to get as many girls like him.

Actually he is not all that great looking but he tends to throw money so many females fall for him and he is a smooth talker and has the art of playing mind games to get people. But he used to make fun of other married friends telling them that you guys have no charm to get so many partners.

Then finally he got married and become so scared that the rest of us know the truth about him that he finally changed his phone number and did not invite anyone of us to his wedding becos he feared in case anyone of us would spill the beans about him!LOL

So much he bragged that he is such a Casanova and finally he became scared that in case his wife found out!LOL

 

[krish44]

Well renukaji

That person will return after marriage in a new avathar trying to outdo others as a married man and brag about his wife and his married life.

Those who brag will continue to do so . Only topics will change.

humility is no longer an accepted trait . those like that are shunned.

 

[renuka]

humility is no longer an accepted trait . .

I remember reading a write up by Osho where he said that a man came to see him and told Osho "I am a very humble person..I am just the dust beneath your feet"

Then Osho decided to test this guy and said 'Yes you are right"

The very next moment Mr Humble flared up and said "What do you mean?"

Then Osho said "I only just reaffirmed what you said..why are you angry now?"

Mr Humble walked away angrily!LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

The persons who brag need some others to appreciate them all the time. :clap2:

Some start with appreciating others and expect the 'return gift'!

When they don't receive it they are upset!

Then they become :Cry: babies!

 

[Raji Ram]

I had a friend in school who used to say often, 'enga appAkitta paththAyiram roobA irukku!' :blah:

Then what? She was nicknamed 'paththAyiram'!!

 

[krish44]

The persons who brag need some others to appreciate them all the time. :clap2:

Some start with appreciating others and expect the 'return gift'!

When they don't receive it they are upset!

Then they become :Cry: babies!

per se, mutual back slapping -nothing wrong with it. is it an unreasonable expectation?

This is better than both bickering or one appreciating and the other keeping quiet or criticizing

most husband and wife , one praises and the other promptly criticizes or keeps quiet in majority of cases .

how many are mutual admiration couples.lol

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

FYI, even meeting in person does not make some persons real friends. :nono:

I am indirectly criticized by one such friend (?) but you might not understand! :lol:

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... how many are mutual admiration couples. ...

Mutual admiration in couples?

May be for a few months!

Is it not said, 'mOham muppadhu nAL; Asai aRubadhu nAL'??

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

FYI, even meeting in person does not make some persons real friends. :nono:

I am indirectly criticized by one such friend (?) but you might not understand! :lol:

RRJi
You are mostly correct . I take everyone at face value and I do not understand the nuances and the under currents of hostility or dislike.

Sometimes our perceived enemies turn out to be excellent friends also

I am such a poor judge of people.When I get to really know a person thru actions , I really learn what they are. So often it is a quest to find really someone one can

really bond with and have faith to completely trust

 

[Raji Ram]

Rarest commodity is true friendship, Krish Sir!

You must be knowing this from your experience.

 

[krish44]

Mutual admiration in couples?

May be for a few months!

Is it not said, 'mOham muppadhu nAL; Asai aRubadhu nAL'??

RRJi
Pl. do not be a cynic . Give a chance to others to turn over a new leaf.Asai returns with more vigour in old age when eyesight dims and when couple become more

dependant on each other for day today living. They discover qualities in spouse which did not find out for a lifetime.lol

 

[Raji Ram]

Wow!! Long live such oldies! ray:

 

[V.Balasubramani]

I am indirectly criticized by one such friend (?) but you might not understand! :lol:

RR Ji,

Personally meeting Members does not give any guarantee for a consistent “J” for all their utterances.

A real friend is one who criticizes the other in good interest.

I only remember the following quote:

"In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." Edgar Allan Poe

 

[krish44]

Rarest commodity is true friendship, Krish Sir!

You must be knowing this from your experience.

Friendship is just one more relationship. There can be various degrees of trust and bonding.

If not totally getting committed to another person and demanding or giving total loyalty , one can carry on with various degrees of perfection/imperfection.

It might be better than no relationship which happens in worst case.

Still a known friend[ devil?] is better than an unknown angel

 

[renuka]

Dear Krish ji,

I use the term "Imaginary Friends".

I have seen many of these types in Bhajan groups..suddenly they will bond like BFF and one day it will be a sudden 180 degree turn and friendship is totally gone and lost forever.

So that is why I prefer using the term 'Imaginary Friends"..every bond is bound to disappear one day!LOL