prasad1
Active member
Every woman (or man) who lives in a home where they know violence, betrayal and abuse has their own reasons for staying. And those words you just read are some of the conversations they have with themselves. But why does he hit her? He may tell you it's because she provoked him. She spent too much money at the grocery store. She dared try to go meet a girlfriend for coffee. She didn't get the house cleaned, the kids to school on time or the dinner on the table before he came home. And he was hungry after all.
Why do we sit back in judgment of her? Why do we ever say to ourselves, "Maybe she deserved it. Maybe she provoked him." Why do we give an abuser a pass and a victim incrimination? Well let me ask you this: What if it was your life? What if it was your face, your stomach, your heart taking the beatings day after day after day? What if it was your daughter? Your sister? Your friend?
Unless you've walked in her shoes, don't judge her. You have no idea what she's been made to go through. Unless you've lived with the shame and guilt of secrecy, don't judge her. You have no idea what she's up against. Unless you've felt the fist to your flesh, the piercing to your heart or the sting of the damning words, don't judge her. You have no idea how she got here, how trapped she feels or how desperately she wants out.
Don't judge her. Help her. Offer her a smile. Give her encouragement. Listen in silence. Let her know you're there when she's ready.
She doesn't need your judgment. She needs your support. She doesn't need your pity. She needs your prayers. She doesn't need your ignorance. She just needs a safe place to fall.
Did you know that? Did you also know the latest statistics tell us that on average, three women are murdered every day by their husbands or boyfriends? Did you know that studies show the most dangerous time for a person in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave?
Stop asking why she stays. Would it even make sense to you if you knew?
Start asking the real question: Why does he get to hit her? And why does nobody do anything to stop him?
You know why she stays? Sometimes it's because she looks in the mirror and sees a stranger staring back at her. Eyes devoid of spirit. No remnants of a smile anywhere on her face. A blank, colorless mask covering the strong, independent person she used to be. She has no idea who she is anymore. Everything she thought she knew about herself has been stripped. She knows only the screams of condemnation. "You're no good. You're stupid. You're selfish. Who else could ever love you?"
Sometimes she stays because she can't afford to go. She's given up her life to be at home. To be a mom. To be a robot for someone who hurls insults and threats as soon as she attempts to do anything for herself. She couldn't possibly support herself, could she? Not financially. Not even emotionally.
What would her parents think? Her friends say? Her family do? No. She doesn't want them to see the pathetic mess she's become. At least that's what she thinks of herself.
Why does she stay? That's the wrong question (Opinion) - CNN.com
We see victims of domestic violence all around us, but sometimes we are desensitized and do not recognize it.
Please do some thing about it. The life that you save may be of your own child.
Why do we sit back in judgment of her? Why do we ever say to ourselves, "Maybe she deserved it. Maybe she provoked him." Why do we give an abuser a pass and a victim incrimination? Well let me ask you this: What if it was your life? What if it was your face, your stomach, your heart taking the beatings day after day after day? What if it was your daughter? Your sister? Your friend?
Unless you've walked in her shoes, don't judge her. You have no idea what she's been made to go through. Unless you've lived with the shame and guilt of secrecy, don't judge her. You have no idea what she's up against. Unless you've felt the fist to your flesh, the piercing to your heart or the sting of the damning words, don't judge her. You have no idea how she got here, how trapped she feels or how desperately she wants out.
Don't judge her. Help her. Offer her a smile. Give her encouragement. Listen in silence. Let her know you're there when she's ready.
She doesn't need your judgment. She needs your support. She doesn't need your pity. She needs your prayers. She doesn't need your ignorance. She just needs a safe place to fall.
Did you know that? Did you also know the latest statistics tell us that on average, three women are murdered every day by their husbands or boyfriends? Did you know that studies show the most dangerous time for a person in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave?
Stop asking why she stays. Would it even make sense to you if you knew?
Start asking the real question: Why does he get to hit her? And why does nobody do anything to stop him?
You know why she stays? Sometimes it's because she looks in the mirror and sees a stranger staring back at her. Eyes devoid of spirit. No remnants of a smile anywhere on her face. A blank, colorless mask covering the strong, independent person she used to be. She has no idea who she is anymore. Everything she thought she knew about herself has been stripped. She knows only the screams of condemnation. "You're no good. You're stupid. You're selfish. Who else could ever love you?"
Sometimes she stays because she can't afford to go. She's given up her life to be at home. To be a mom. To be a robot for someone who hurls insults and threats as soon as she attempts to do anything for herself. She couldn't possibly support herself, could she? Not financially. Not even emotionally.
What would her parents think? Her friends say? Her family do? No. She doesn't want them to see the pathetic mess she's become. At least that's what she thinks of herself.
Why does she stay? That's the wrong question (Opinion) - CNN.com
We see victims of domestic violence all around us, but sometimes we are desensitized and do not recognize it.
Please do some thing about it. The life that you save may be of your own child.
Last edited:
