Why Honesty Keeps Friendship away?

[renuka]

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When you are not driving, please be careful as a back or passenger side driver. No two persons drive the same way. So instead of nagging while the driver is driving, you should discuss your concerns after you reached your destination. If you are scared for life, then you should ask the driver to pull over and drive yourself and face the consequences later.

When I am not driving, I am a passenger and I enjoy the drive.

One can not be rude in the name of honesty.

satyam bruyat priyam bruyat na bruyat satyam apriyam
priyam ca nanrutam bruyat esha dharmah sanatanah

Agreed but when you are seeing an impending disaster one may not want to be remain silent.

I have no problems when a passenger gives me a warning of any impending danger...I take it as a blessing cos it might actually save my life or another persons life.One has to realize that there is a blind spot in our visual field..sometimes when an image falls on our blind spot we totally fail to see it..that is when some other persons information might actually come in handy.

Once I also got it proper from my husband for telling him about driving..so after that I decided not to tell him anything and one day while driving some driver almost hit into us and that time my husband said "Couldn't you at least warn me about the car? why did you keep quiet?"

So you see when it comes to men and driving..if you open your mouth you are wrong..if you dont open your mouth also you are wrong cos they have an ego.

That is why now I drive myself everywhere and try not to be in a car driven by others.

 

[Raji Ram]

hi

to be frank always not good....even a frank husband is NOT always a good husband....if we want a good wife....we should not be very

frank.....this is kind of my experience....we should not be very frank with elders/close friends....every body wants praising them...

Dear TBS Sir,

That is why I wrote a new 'kuraL':

'ஓ'போட்டு வாழ்வாரே வாழ்வார் மற்றவரைப்

போவென்று பின்தள்ளு வார்.

In Thanglish:

'O'pOttu vAzhvArE vAzhvAr matravarip

pOvendru pinthaLLu vAr.

 

[Raji Ram]

Being a honest spouse / son / daughter / friend is different from telling the truth always!

We should never tell the truth, if we know that it will hurt!. It will become a sort of nagging!

A fat person will call himself / herself fat but it will surely hurt if some others comment, however close they may be!

The best formula to follow is: Speak only nice words which are like 'pazham' and no harsh words which are like 'kaay'.

There is a KuraL which gives this idea.

 

[sarang]

Naa kakka! But finger/keyboard/pen are different!

In today's news report, many bosom friends in facebook have become enemies because they did not like their friends calling modi brilliant.

There is a KuraL which gives this idea.

 

[sarang]

"unfriending" their pals on Facebook

The big social media divide: Narendra Modi win brings elation for some, depression for others - The Times of India

Modi's victory has unleashed a bitter war on social media between left-liberals and supporters of the new dispensation.
***
An Indian activist-author based in Europe recently got so furious with her Facebook friend for contradicting her on Modi's hoary past that she decided to "unfriend" him.
***
Some have gone to the extent of accusing Modi's supporters of pushing the country to the brink. "Their rants are understandable considering that they are facing an existential threat now that what they thought unthinkable has happened. These folks have strained every nerve and muscle to argue and convince others why Modi should not win. They are too shocked now to accept the reality of the people's verdict," said Parvati Nair, a techie who shuttles between Mumbai and Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Sarang Sir,

Some forum friends go to enemy camp just because they do not get appreciation! out:

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Dear Dhikshita Ji,


The proverb is ‘birds of a same feather flocks together’.Though you have likeminded people around you as your friends, you cannot be honest and frank with every one of them unless they prove and gain confidence that they deserve for such a sharing.Only few can be true friends and earning such friendship needs lot of grooming.

But what I can now say from my experience is don’t be honest, frank, etc inyour posting, bcos you were certain to earn a self-declared ‘enemy camp’ in no time.

As for me, you may knowing that while I strive to spread love, never compromise on certain things and I am not definitely here to earn any appreciation, commendation, etc from any good heart.


Good dayJ

 

[dhikshita]

Dear Dhikshita Ji,


The proverb is ‘birds of a same feather flocks together’.Though you have likeminded people around you as your friends, you cannot be honest and frank with every one of them unless they prove and gain confidence that they deserve for such a sharing.Only few can be true friends and earning such friendship needs lot of grooming.

But what I can now say from my experience is don’t be honest, frank, etc inyour posting, bcos you were certain to earn a self-declared ‘enemy camp’ in no time.

As for me, you may knowing that while I strive to spread love, never compromise on certain things and I am not definitely here to earn any appreciation, commendation, etc from any good heart.


Good dayJ

VB,

Thanks for your sincere advise as you have mentioned that frank speaking may earn me only enemy camp. Then do I have any alternate way to get over it?. IMO I have to change my attitude to certain extent at the later part of my life with a view to maintain friendship.

 

[sarang]

Will appreciate some clue to weed out mitrasatru(s)!

Dear Sarang Sir,

Some forum friends go to enemy camp just because they do not get appreciation! out:

 

[renuka]

What is this enemy camp?? Friends camp(a.k.a Jalra camp)!LOL

Whether its enemy camp or jalra camp..one just needs to know when to fire/attack and when to lie low.

 

[renuka]

Will appreciate some clue to weed out mitrasatru(s)!

Dear Sarang ji,

The answer lies in "Share your knowledge thread"!

 

[V.Balasubramani]

VB,

Thanks for your sincere advise as you have mentioned that frank speaking may earn me only enemy camp. Then do I have any alternate way to get over it?. IMO I have to change my attitude to certain extent at the later part of my life with a view to maintain friendship.

Dear Dhikshita Ji,
I would like to share thefollowing quote of Kent M. Keith which is self-explanatory.

“TheParadoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse youof selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shotdown by the smallest men and women withthe smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Helppeople anyway.

Give the world the best you have andyou'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

― KentM. Keith, TheSilent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

 

[krish44]

Dear Dhikshita Ji,
I would like to share thefollowing quote of Kent M. Keith which is self-explanatory.

“TheParadoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse youof selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shotdown by the smallest men and women withthe smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Helppeople anyway.

Give the world the best you have andyou'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

― KentM. Keith, TheSilent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

VBji
very nice post .

we are what we are and we cannot help it

when we live life, we try to be positive and try to be what you have suggested

mostly it is a ungrateful world with no returns

perhaps we do it only to satisfy our egos

most who are receipients of our doles normally avoid meeting us later.

there is hardly any reciprocity

 

[renuka]

mostly it is a ungrateful world with no returns

perhaps we do it only to satisfy our egos

most who are receipients of our doles normally avoid meeting us later.

there is hardly any reciprocity

Partly we are also to blame cos we have Expectations from others..so the best is just do what we have to do and dont expect anything in return.

I have seen some older relatives who get all worked up when they know they were not invited for a function held in some other relatives house.
This is becos they expected to be invited..when we dont expect anything nothing can hurt us.

So just be in latent mode and act to any given stimuli without expecting reciprocation.

 

[krish44]

Partly we are also to blame cos we have Expectations from others..so the best is just do what we have to do and dont expect anything in return.

I have seen some older relatives who get all worked up when they know they were not invited for a function held in some other relatives house.
This is becos they expected to be invited..when we dont expect anything nothing can hurt us.

So just be in latent mode and act to any given stimuli without expecting reciprocation.

you may be correct that we expect a pat if not invitation to some odd wedding

thats why I said we are compulsive doers. happy with the results . if some recognition gets added from the recepients we are in heavan . great ego boost

we are humans. we like to be humoured periodically.lol

 

[vgane]

I received this today from TBH ..Thought of sharing with the group!<br><br>

"Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes
you happy in a way nobody else can."

 

[dhikshita]

Dear Dhikshita Ji,
I would like to share thefollowing quote of Kent M. Keith which is self-explanatory.

“TheParadoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse youof selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shotdown by the smallest men and women withthe smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Helppeople anyway.

Give the world the best you have andyou'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

― KentM. Keith, TheSilent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

Dear VB,
What a great,grand and philosophical quotations you have brought in from Mr.Kent......for sharing among ourselves. A good going. Keep it up.

 

[renuka]

"Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes
you happy in a way nobody else can."

That is talking about a dog and his/her master!LOL


Thank God for lust..otherwise the world would have never been populated!