Why Women are special.

[P.J.]

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Why Women are special.

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, and then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals; her day never ends!!


About that time,

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"I'm going to bed."
And he did... without another thought.


Every day is A Special Women Day!!!
Happy Women's Day!

 

[DR.C.NARAYANI]

Hello PJ Sir , I had this wonderful message:clap2: in public domain a week ago ,Wow,really superb:cheer2: ,even though read before.Its actually the fact,and seems as though truly women value is notedray2: noidea: ).

 

[padders]

Thank you, PJ sir and I am really glad to note that some guys realise what we women are worth! What is described here is so true, especially as we girls are excellent multi-taskers.

 

[sangom]

Why Women are special.

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, and then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals; her day never ends!!


About that time,

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"I'm going to bed."
And he did... without another thought.


Every day is A Special Women Day!!!
Happy Women's Day!

PJ,

Women of the above type are getting fewer and fewer by the day. So, be careful if you expect the women of the coming generations to follow this imaginary model.

Of course, this is the right way to get some applause from the womenfolk - praise them with or even without cause.

 

[renuka]

Why Women are special.

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, and then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals; her day never ends!!


About that time,

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"I'm going to bed."
And he did... without another thought.


Every day is A Special Women Day!!!
Happy Women's Day!

PJ sir???


LOL..this is total over rated!!


OK I am going to be honest here.

When I say I am going to bed..I mean it..I just go up and sleep.

But before I even utter that "I want to go to bed"..I make sure I do what I had planned per my daily schedule.



Thanks for Women's day greeting anyway.

BTW the woman in the above story surely did not have good time management skills..why is she waiting till bed time to do everything?

Then she will land up with insomnia or lack of sleep..toss and turn in bed and be miserable the next day.

 

[renuka]

Of course, this is the right way to get some applause from the womenfolk - praise them with or even without cause.

Sangom ji,

Nope you are wrong..not all women will applause...cos some men might hope women fit into the above bill to qualify for being called an all sacrificing woman to be given Jagat Janani status.

So not all women will fall for over rating them!LOL

 

[sangom]

Sangom ji,

Nope you are wrong..not all women will applause...cos some men might hope women fit into the above bill to qualify for being called an all sacrificing woman to be given Jagat Janani status.

So not all women will fall for over rating them!LOL

Yes, I was also struck by the unwanted and too sugary, glorification of woman by making her a fool of sorts.

 

[auh]

Women... special? But... but... are they not equal? (with men, of course)

 

[padders]

Of course women are equal, and in some cases more than equal to men!
The examples may be exaggerated, but still it's true that most women, even in the "liberated" West, find themselves doing more than their fair share of work. Many documentaries bear this out.
I'm sorry to say this, but I think most Indian men of an earlier generation took their wives and women-folk for granted. I'm glad to see that this trend has changed among the younger generation, especially among working professionals.

 

[renuka]

Women... special? But... but... are they not equal? (with men, of course)

yes yes...you are right...we females dont want to be special..we want to be equal.
the moment a person is special..all freedom is curbed and all rules are regulations will apply to make her behave within the narrow limits of society.

 

[P.J.]

Most married women with School Going Kids are doing the way it is narrated; They are the last person to go to bed after doing all sorts of work; they plan for for every thing, including the type of menu for next next day. type of lunch for her and her husband ( in case she is also going for work), Looking into School Notes to see any Homework is to be one, Schedule of Classes for them in the coming weeks,noting Birthday parties of her kids friends, Medicine needs of her in Laws/ parents if they happen to stay with them, selecting the next day Fresh washed School uniform, keeping Socks with shoes, once again cleaning the lunch box, etc etc

There are so many daily routine they do whereas men are different; they mostly spend time watching some Cricket/News; Very seldom they look into the School books of their kids, try to teach them is definitely not to their liking.

 

[renuka]

Most married women with School Going Kids are doing the way it is narrated; They are the last person to go to bed after doing all sorts of work; they plan for for every thing, including the type of menu for next next day. type of lunch for her and her husband ( in case she is also going for work), Looking into School Notes to see any Homework is to be one, Schedule of Classes for them in the coming weeks,noting Birthday parties of her kids friends, Medicine needs of her in Laws/ parents if they happen to stay with them, selecting the next day Fresh washed School uniform, keeping Socks with shoes, once again cleaning the lunch box, etc etc

There are so many daily routine they do whereas men are different; they mostly spend time watching some Cricket/News; Very seldom they look into the School books of their kids, try to teach them is definitely not to their liking.

Dear PJ sir,

Agreed but all these are done first and only then a person says 'I am going to bed"

If a person says " I am going to bed" and starts doing all work ..it kind of implies that she either has bad time management skills or she was seeing some Megaaaaaaa serial and only then did her chores at home.

I suspect the woman in your OP was seeing some mega serial and then realized "OMG it is almost bed time...I still haven't done anything yet" and then she rushes to do all what she could have done much earlier!LOL

 

[P.J.]

renukaji

Please don't go too deep into these types of mails rotating in the web; appreciate only the content of these stories; there may be many inconsistencies in this, ultimately what it tries to convey is important.

 

[padders]

PJ sir- you are right in describing these activities of women. It requires a sea-change in the attitudes of both men AND women to have an equal distribution of work. Sometimes I think a woman is her own worst enemy in not having any expectations from her spouse re. house-work, cooking etc. I agree with Renuka and auh that women don't need special treatment, which is just used as an excuse to make her go through the drudgery of housework, etc. In fact, I even feel there is abs nothing wrong in a man being a "house-husband" if his wife is happier working outside the home and he is a stay-at-home who looks after the kids, housework, etc. That's what I call true equality.

 

[P.J.]

Many married men would honestly admit their zero knowledge about their kids home works, dress needs, their School activities, about their friends etc.They may be playing with them, taking them to Soccer/swimming/Tennis lesson classes but they seldom spend time with them in Teaching them, or taking them to Bal Vikas or other similar Classes/ read them stories before going to bed , understand what they like to eat, what are their weak points which only ( in majority of caes) only mother knows better.

Many married men go to office/Work very hard for the betterment of the company, but they spend very little time with their Kids ( in most cases) whereas only mothers spend all their time with their Kids.

Even Kids ask mother about anything freely than Father, and the Gap widens as the age advances.

What ever may be the age , a son will talk to his mother freely where as the communications drains between father and son when he becomes adolescent or more matured.

The same is the case with daughters; the bondage between mother and daughter is always special, and a daughter will go to any extend to stand by the side her mother in case of separation.

 

[sangom]

Most married women with School Going Kids are doing the way it is narrated; They are the last person to go to bed after doing all sorts of work; they plan for for every thing, including the type of menu for next next day. type of lunch for her and her husband ( in case she is also going for work), Looking into School Notes to see any Homework is to be one, Schedule of Classes for them in the coming weeks,noting Birthday parties of her kids friends, Medicine needs of her in Laws/ parents if they happen to stay with them, selecting the next day Fresh washed School uniform, keeping Socks with shoes, once again cleaning the lunch box, etc etc

There are so many daily routine they do whereas men are different; they mostly spend time watching some Cricket/News; Very seldom they look into the School books of their kids, try to teach them is definitely not to their liking.

I have seen many, many couples of my generation with the wives being mere housewives, or employed in the government and other public sector jobs like in LIC, banks, AG's office, Railways, Telephone dept., etc., and also a good number of younger couples of the present generation in which the wife is mostly employed in the private sector like IT, BPO, etc.

In the previous generation, at least among most of the middle class tabra households had just a hand-to-mouth existence and it was considered the duty (responsibility) of the husband to find the resources for running the family without hunger; he had also to plan for his and his wife's retired life, because by around the 1970's & 1980's it was becoming amply clear that one cannot depend on one's son/s to take care of the parents and that the younger generation girls did not want the "extra luggage" of the in-laws.

This duty and responsibility of finding the wherewithal for family maintenance, usually made the man (husband) to work overtime (wherever this was possible), take up additional part-time jobs like the job of accountant in commercial firms (கடைகளில் கணக்கு எழுதுவது), private tutions for kids in rich homes of all types of people, and so on. Few could come back home straight from the office.
On the other hand, the wife did not usually bother at all about the children, except ensuring that all were back home for the night meals, hale & hearty. The mother did not know much about the child studied once he/she went beyond the 4th. or 5th. standards, nor did the parents show the type of zeal and insistence on their children invariably should be the first in the class,school, state, etc. I have seen homes where a younger but more intelligent boy or girl will clarify the doubts of the elder ones who were not so intelligent.
In short, children could afford to be less intelligent and parents accepted the (natural) fact that their kids need not be brilliant.

Look at the next generation of the parents whom I described above. Most of these next generation people are either themselves high-earners or have such a spouse, with the result that they are no longer representatives of the middle class tabras to which their parents belonged; though they may still not qualify for being labeled as "rich" or "elite", their life style, thinking, ambitions, priorities, etc., have all undergone sea change. There is no question of wherewithal to run the family, meeting both ends meet, etc., now and both the husband and wife earn very well and there is competition in earning more and more, and ego clashes caused by this. Added to these is the notion of gender equality, woman's empowerment etc., with the result that most such households have a cook (or someone who comes twice a day to cook food), at least one maid servant (I am talking about most of India, not foreign conditions.) and all the modern gadgets for the home are invariably there.

Many of the items listed, like, making sandwiches for the next day's lunches, ironing a shirt, securing a loose button, picking up the game pieces left on the table, putting the phone back on the charger, put tingthe telephone book into the drawer, emptying a waste basket, hanging up a towel to dry,etc., are today, not the unavoidable duties of the wife. On the contrary, there are houses in which the husband has to perform many chores and he gets even beaten up if he does not do that to the satisfaction of the wife. (Menfolk do not openly talk about this because of the past history of male superiority and the surety of being made fun of by their peers.) I remember one post in which much the same thing was narrated by another member.

Therefore, in the name of being emancipated males or men who support women's equality etc., I think some of us menfolk of the older generation are going overboard and creating hell for the men of succeeding generations. The irony is that I find even those who swear by our ancient Indian wisdom not getting any heed to the saying "न स्त्री स्वातन्त्र्यं अर्हति"(na strī svātantryaṃ arhati = no woman deserves independence).

 

[auh]

In fact, I even feel there is abs nothing wrong in a man being a "house-husband" if his wife is happier working outside the home and he is a stay-at-home who looks after the kids, housework, etc. That's what I call true equality.

Why not? Physical inequalities have been levelled by science, and, barring some occupations, women can equally participate in the job market. And if this requires a shift in the role of the alpha male (perhaps to step down to a beta or a theta male), it has to be acknowledged.

But how to resolve ego conflicts that could arise between the alpha males and alpha females (esp if the alpha is unwilling to relinquish the alpha position)? Is a compromise on their roles the best way?

 

[Nara]

....Please don't go too deep into these types of mails rotating in the web; appreciate only the content of these stories; there may be many inconsistencies in this, ultimately what it tries to convey is important.

Dear P.J. there is a danger in not thinking through the content of these stories because there may be some unintended messages that they may convey. For instance this story and the title of the thread conveys the message that women are special because they do lot of house work, and by corollary, a woman who does not do a lot of house work, or one who expects the husband to share some of that work, is not special.

Whenever we make up stories that put women on a pedestal what we actually end up doing is shackling her into roles and expectations that are onerous.

best regards ....

 

[P.J.]

Sri.Nara Sir

My reply was to renukaji who pointed out that the lady in the story lacks time management; also it is not only about the house work women do, but the overall care she takes in her home compared to a male head in the house.

 

[C RAVI]

Many married men would honestly admit their zero knowledge about their kids home works, dress needs, their School activities, about their friends etc.They may be playing with them, taking them to Soccer/swimming/Tennis lesson classes but they seldom spend time with them in Teaching them, or taking them to Bal Vikas or other similar Classes/ read them stories before going to bed , understand what they like to eat, what are their weak points which only ( in majority of caes) only mother knows better.

Many married men go to office/Work very hard for the betterment of the company, but they spend very little time with their Kids ( in most cases) whereas only mothers spend all their time with their Kids.

Even Kids ask mother about anything freely than Father, and the Gap widens as the age advances.

What ever may be the age , a son will talk to his mother freely where as the communications drains between father and son when he becomes adolescent or more matured.

The same is the case with daughters; the bondage between mother and daughter is always special, and a daughter will go to any extend to stand by the side her mother in case of separation.

Sri.Nara Sir

My reply was to renukaji who pointed out that the lady in the story lacks time management; also it is not only about the house work women do, but the overall care she takes in her home compared to a male head in the house.

Shri P.J,


The basic fact is, children can differentiate between the love and warmth of a mother and that of a father, unless they lost their mother before they could gain their conscious.


Mother is a Mother and no one else can compensate her love and care to her children. Basically, motherly love and her care right from the time of conception of a child, growing of a child in her womb, delivery of a child, nurturing the child in his/her infancy and continuation of showering her love and care through out the growing process of the child is a power pack of emotions and compassion.

Mother bears any amount of ordeal to see her growing children happy and protected, compromising with her needs and comfort as and when needed. It's a bondage that is indeed special in its own ways.

There is no need/compulsion to compete with Mother's Love and Care by father or any one else to establish equality in their role play. Father's love with his emotions and compassion is different and that of Mother's still remains special.

Children who are blessed (mostly/in majority of the cases they are) to have such a Mother feel much contented (without the need to be exhibiting/expressing/realizing straight away etc..etc of what they receive from their mother), much secured emotionally and eventually very much accept her requests or objections more readily than that presented by father.

When a mother gives her full to her children (and that naturally happens in most of the cases) physically and emotionally, she is an Angel to her children. She also becomes a back bone of a healthy, peaceful, happy and loving family, contributing a lot to a Man/Husband who wish to have a beautiful family.

Only Women can become such a Mother and she is indeed Special!

 

[biswa]

Raviji all mothers are not the same, neither are all fathers.

I take it that you (and many other forum members) were blessed to have a very caring mother.

 

[renuka]

renukaji

Please don't go too deep into these types of mails rotating in the web; appreciate only the content of these stories; there may be many inconsistencies in this, ultimately what it tries to convey is important.

Dear PJ sir,

What the original post(OP) is trying to convey is what I am concerned about.

At a first glance the OP makes it sound as if women are excellent home managers etc and their work never ends etc..but if you dissect that post further it actually conveys a subtle message that a woman needs to 'earn' that special place by doing everything alone with no involvement from her husband.

It makes it sound as if "if you want to be appreciated..do everything yourself and do not expect anyone to help you..only then you qualify to be called a Mother/Special etc"

It is these types of posts that actually make men take women for granted.

Did you see the movie English Vinglish?

In that movie...Sri Devi is not given much respect by her husband and he takes her for granted.

Her skills in cooking and making laddoos were just considered what an average Indian housewife would do.

Then walks in Mr French guy who studied English with her and he is a chef and he tells Sri Devi that cooking is an art.

She tells him that if a male cooks it is considered an art but if a female cooks for her family it is considered duty and not considered an art.

Then he tells her that a woman cooks with love so not to think that cooking for family is considered small.


The climax of the movie was when she fell down and the French guy caught her...I was hoping for a kiss on screen but sadly there wasn't!

 

[Nara]

...I take it that you (and many other forum members) were blessed to have a very caring mother.

What if a woman is not a mother, especially if that is by her choice, would she still be special? IMO, women are no more or no less special than men, and they deserve all the opportunities, advantages, etc., etc., that are available to men -- no special treatment that only imprisons women in the men's vision of ideal role for women -- like a loving mother.

 

[sangom]

Raviji all mothers are not the same, neither are all fathers.

I take it that you (and many other forum members) were blessed to have a very caring mother.

Dear Shri Biswa,

On reading Shri Ravi's post, I also had exactly identical feelings.

Men and women are of as many different types as there are numbers of them. While the role of mother which Shri Ravi describes in his above post, is the one which was prescribed by our time-honoured woman concept, in the real world one will find many different kinds of mothers (women). For instance, I know a young relative of mine who dislikes, even hates, his mother because according to him she was a woman without affection and was highly vengeful type even with her children.

The trend today is that young women are moving away from this conceptualized "mother role". For them, child/children are becoming "objects" or possessions which they as mothers have "created" and are coming to be looked upon more and more as symbols of pride and prestige, just like their costly car or palatial bungalow, etc.

We must at least be aware of such social changes before singing paeans to womanhood, motherhood, etc.

 

[renuka]

We must at least be aware of such social changes before singing paeans to womanhood, motherhood, etc.

Dear Sangom ji,

I too do not like society stereotyping mothers to fit into the imagination of many.

Each mother is unique..each mother is different...some mothers are feminine..some mothers are paranoid...some mothers are boring....some mothers are imaginative.

Mothers are like fingerprints..there is no universal print to make all mothers come under one umbrella.

BTW we can not deny that sometimes motherhood/fatherhood is also due to a failure of contraception.