Why Women are special.

[C RAVI]

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Raviji all mothers are not the same, neither are all fathers.

I take it that you (and many other forum members) were blessed to have a very caring mother.

That is why I said -

"Only Women can "become" such a Mother and she is indeed Special!"

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Shri Biswa,

On reading Shri Ravi's post, I also had exactly identical feelings.

Men and women are of as many different types as there are numbers of them. While the role of mother which Shri Ravi describes in his above post, is the one which was prescribed by our time-honoured woman concept, in the real world one will find many different kinds of mothers (women). For instance, I know a young relative of mine who dislikes, even hates, his mother because according to him she was a woman without affection and was highly vengeful type even with her children.

The trend today is that young women are moving away from this conceptualized "mother role". For them, child/children are becoming "objects" or possessions which they as mothers have "created" and are coming to be looked upon more and more as symbols of pride and prestige, just like their costly car or palatial bungalow, etc.

We must at least be aware of such social changes before singing paeans to womanhood, motherhood, etc.

Shri Sangom,

Do you think I am stupid to be unaware of mothers of different kind?

And that, I consider a Mother is special "only" if she suffers hell in taking care of home and children without any support from her husband?


The Crux of my post is - "No matter how much a husband shares household chores along with his wife, supports her, cushions her etc.etc.., still a Mother is a Mother who is too special for her children (both son and daughter). Mother-Children bondage is generally strong and special and that itself is a great boon that the husband could get who wish his children and his wife to love, care and respect each other.


If we want to further make this claim senseless, we can also start questioning - "How many children feel their mother is Special and give her due love, respect and care through out?"

Some member can even wish to further carry the debate towards - "Mothers love towards her children is a basic instinct. As such glorifying her role right from pregnancy, delivery and nurturing & caring for the child no matter how old the child has grown is utter idiotic, irrational and childish. And that, glorifying her would mean devaluing father's love"

We can add many such points out of our rational mind, having seen the world around us and conclude that - "Mother is just a Human like a Father. Glorifying Mother would be a non sense"

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Shri Biswa,


The trend today is that young women are moving away from this conceptualized "mother role". For them, child/children are becoming "objects" or possessions which they as mothers have "created" and are coming to be looked upon more and more as symbols of pride and prestige, just like their costly car or palatial bungalow, etc.

We must at least be aware of such social changes before singing paeans to womanhood, motherhood, etc.

Shri Sangom,

Most of us are aware of the current scenario.

At the end of the day, Mothers of different kinds would have equally different treatment from their children of different kinds.

Just because the trend has changed today especially among many high class families, the specialty of a Mother and mother-child relationship does not get ruled out Globally.

The World is very big and indeed there are special women and special mother.


I have said the following in my very first post no.19 -

Children who are blessed (mostly/in majority of the cases they are) to have such a Mother feel much contented (without the need to be exhibiting/expressing/realizing straight away etc..etc of what they receive from their mother), much secured emotionally and eventually very much accept her requests or objections more readily than that presented by father.

When a mother gives her full to her children (and that naturally happens in most of the cases) physically and emotionally, she is an Angel to her children. She also becomes a back bone of a healthy, peaceful, happy and loving family, contributing a lot to a Man/Husband who wish to have a beautiful family.

 

[C RAVI]

What if a woman is not a mother, especially if that is by her choice, would she still be special? IMO, women are no more or no less special than men, and they deserve all the opportunities, advantages, etc., etc., that are available to men -- no special treatment that only imprisons women in the men's vision of ideal role for women -- like a loving mother.

If a woman don't want to be a mother, especially by her choice, she would still be special for her husband who loves her and who could accept and appreciate her such a choice. Otherwise, many a chance of him divorcing her and marrying another lady who wish to have a family set up with children.



A mothers love, care and compassion when naturally comes out of her towards her children she becomes the most special for a child. Only when a husband instructs her, orders her, demands her to be an ideal mother by his own definition, the Havoc is most possibly bound to happen both to the children and the father/husband.

 

[renuka]

The trend today is that young women are moving away from this conceptualized "mother role". For them, child/children are becoming "objects" or possessions which they as mothers have "created" and are coming to be looked upon more and more as symbols of pride and prestige, just like their costly car or palatial bungalow, etc.

Dear Sangom ji,

Not all women are like this but I do agree I have seen some like what you had described.

They just want to show off to the world that they have a "trophy" child...pressurize the child to grow up too soon and to be Mr/Ms perfect.

I know someone whose once told me that her 4 year old daughter is not a kid to be playing with dolls when I happen to buy the girl a Barbie doll.

Many mothers these days want kids to grow up too soon and to be mini adults.

If the child does not get a perfect score in school or music they scold the child badly instead of encouraging him/her and give no room for failure.

A child with good qualities but average in studies is not a thing of pride for some parents.

Most parents just want to brag how great their kids are..once in India my mum happen to meet an elderly person in the airport who was asking her all about family kids and what me and my siblings do etc.

Then the lady remarked that if she were in my mums place and had all 3 kids who were professionals she would not even talk so humbly..she said she would be very proud and carry her head high up.

My mum told her that pride carries no one anywhere and she sees her kids as her children and not as what they work as.

 

[auh]

If a woman is special in her own way, so is a man. And when both are special, there is nothing special...

 

[C RAVI]

Just because Gold is Special and so is the Diamond, it is not that there is nothing special about both of them.


When we focus on Gold we can list out its specialties and our preferences and when we talk about Diamond, we can list out its specialties and our preferences too.

For me, Mother is like the same shining Gold, dominating the likes of all of her children towards her and available to all of her children on daily basis.

 

[renuka]

If a woman is special in her own way, so is a man. And when both are special, there is nothing special...

Well said.

 

[renuka]

Personally I am always wary of glorification..people expect more from you when they glorify you.

 

[auh]

Just because Gold is Special and so is the Diamond, it is not that there is nothing special about both of them.

This comparison is illogical. We are not comparing gold and diamond. They have a perceived value only and may not be a correct analogy.

Humans, alike, have the ability to equally express their emotions. It is only the stereotyping of roles that has led to dignity as well as ignominy.