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x=x+1 syndrome

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sravna

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The following is a nice article which was popular when I did my graduate studies in the U.S. which was way back.

Does it still reflect the reality?


"When an Indian professional becomes a 'Non-Resident Indian' in the United States, he soon starts suffering from a strange disease. The symptoms are a fixture of restlessness, anxiety, hope and nostalgia. The virus is a deep inner need to get back home. Like Shakespeare said, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."The medical world has not coined a word for this malady. Strange as it is it could go by a stranger name, the "X + 1" syndrome.

To understand this disease better, consider the background. Typically middle-class, the would be migrant's sole ambition through school is to secure admission into one of those heavily government subsidised institutions - the IITs. With the full backing of a doting family and a good deal of effort, he achieves his goal. Looking for fresh worlds to conquer, his sights rest on the new world. Like lemmings to the sea, hordes of IIT graduates descend on the four US consulates to seek the holiest of holy grails - the F-1 (student) stamp on the passport.

After crossing the visa hurdle and tearful farewell, our hero departs for the Mecca of higher learning, promising himself and his family that he will return some day - soon! The family proudly informs their relatives of each milestone - his GPA, his first car (twenty years old), his trip to Niagara Falls (photos), his first winter (parkas,gloves). The two years roll by and he graduates at the top of his class.

Now begins the 'great hunt' for a company that will not only give him a job but also sponsor him for that 3" X 3" grey plastic, otherwise known as the Green Card. A US company sensing a good bargain offers him a job.
Naturally, with all the excitement of seeing his first pay check in four digit dollars, thoughts of returning to India are far away. His immediate objective of getting the Green Card is reached within a year.

Meanwhile, his family back home worry about the strange American influences (and more particularly, AIDS). Through contacts they line up a list of eligible girls from eligible families and wait for the great great one's first trip home.

Return he does,at the first available oppurtunity, with gifts for the family and mouth-watering tales of prosperity beyond imagination. After inter viewing the girls, he picks the most likely (lucky) one to be Americanised. Since the major reason for the alliance is his long-term stay abroad, the question of his immediate return does not arise. Any doubts are set aside by the 'backwardness' of working life, long train travels, lack of phones, inadequate oppurtunities for someone with hi-tech qualifications and so on.

The newlyweds return to America with the groom having to explain the system of arranged marriages to the Americans. Most of them regard it as barbaric and on the same lines as communism. The tongue-tied bride is cajoled into explaining the bindi and saree. Looking for something homely the couple plunges into the frenetic expatriate weekend social scene comprising dinners, videos of Hindi/regional films, shopping at Indian stores, and bhajans.

Initially, the wife misses the warmth of her family, but the presence of washing machines, vacuum cleaners, day-time soap operas and the absence of a domineering mother-in-law helps. Bits of news filtering through from India, mostly from returning Indians, is eagerly lapped up.
In discussions with friends, the topic of returning to India arises frequently but is brushed aside by the lord and master who is now rising in the corporate world and has fast moved into a two garage home - thus fulfilling the great American Dream.The impending arrival of the first born fulfills the great Indian Dream. The mother-in-law arrives in time:after all, no right thinking parent would want their off-spring to be born in India if offered the American alternative.

With all material comforts that money can bring, begins the first signs of uneasiness - a craze for exotic electronic goods, cars and vacations have been satiated. The weekend gatherings are becoming routine.
Faced with a mid-life crisis, the upwardly mobile Indian's career graph plateu's out. Younger and more aggressive Americans are promoted. With one of the periodic mini recessions in the economy and the threat of a hostile take-over, the job itself seems far from secure.

Unable or unwilling to socialize with the Americans, the Indian retreats into a cocoon. At the home front, the children have grown up and along with American accents have imbibed American habits (cars, hamburgers) and values (dating). They respond to their parents' exhortation of leading a clean Indian way of life by asking endless questions.

The generation gap combines with the cultural chasm. Not surprisingly, the first serious thoughts of returning to India occur at this stage. Taking advantage of his vacation time, the Indian returns home to 'explore' possibilities. Ignoring the underpaid and beaurocratic government sector, he is bewildered by the 'primitive' state of the private sector. Clearly overqualified even to be a managing director / chairman he stumbles upon the idea of being an entrepreneur.

In the seventies, his search for an arena to display his business skills normally ended in poultry farming. In the eighties, electronics is the name of the game. Undaunted by horror stories about govt. red tape and corruption, he is determined to overcome the odds - with one catch. He has a few things to settle in the United States. After all, you can't just throw away a lifetime's work. And there are things like taxation and customs regulations to be taken note of. Pressed for a firm date, he says confidently - 'next year' - and therein lies our story. The next years come and go but there is no sign of our McCarthian freind.

In other words if X is the current year, then the objective is to return in the 'X + 1' year. Since 'X' is a changing variable, the objective is never reached. Unable to truly melt in the 'Great Melting Pot', chained to his cultural moorings and haunted by an abject fear of giving up an accustomed standard of living, the Non-Resident Indian vacillates and oscillates between two worlds in a twilight zone.

Strangely, this malady appears to affect only the Indians - all of our Asian brethren from Japan, Korea and even Pakistan - seem immune to it."
 
There was a lot of hype a few years back at the peak of recession in US that the guys from IIT's who went there are returning in droves...But it was never to be...The heart beckons but the mind says no to these NRI's /Green card holders..This is verily the state of affairs in the motherland!
 
The following is a nice article which was popular when I did my graduate studies in the U.S. which was way back.

Does it still reflect the reality?


"When an Indian professional becomes a 'Non-Resident Indian' in the United States, he soon starts suffering from a strange disease. The symptoms are a fixture of restlessness, anxiety, hope and nostalgia. The virus is a deep inner need to get back home. Like Shakespeare said, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."The medical world has not coined a word for this malady. Strange as it is it could go by a stranger name, the "X + 1" syndrome.

To understand this disease better, consider the background. Typically middle-class, the would be migrant's sole ambition through school is to secure admission into one of those heavily government subsidised institutions - the IITs. With the full backing of a doting family and a good deal of effort, he achieves his goal. Looking for fresh worlds to conquer, his sights rest on the new world. Like lemmings to the sea, hordes of IIT graduates descend on the four US consulates to seek the holiest of holy grails - the F-1 (student) stamp on the passport.

After crossing the visa hurdle and tearful farewell, our hero departs for the Mecca of higher learning, promising himself and his family that he will return some day - soon! The family proudly informs their relatives of each milestone - his GPA, his first car (twenty years old), his trip to Niagara Falls (photos), his first winter (parkas,gloves). The two years roll by and he graduates at the top of his class.

Now begins the 'great hunt' for a company that will not only give him a job but also sponsor him for that 3" X 3" grey plastic, otherwise known as the Green Card. A US company sensing a good bargain offers him a job.
Naturally, with all the excitement of seeing his first pay check in four digit dollars, thoughts of returning to India are far away. His immediate objective of getting the Green Card is reached within a year.

Meanwhile, his family back home worry about the strange American influences (and more particularly, AIDS). Through contacts they line up a list of eligible girls from eligible families and wait for the great great one's first trip home.

Return he does,at the first available oppurtunity, with gifts for the family and mouth-watering tales of prosperity beyond imagination. After inter viewing the girls, he picks the most likely (lucky) one to be Americanised. Since the major reason for the alliance is his long-term stay abroad, the question of his immediate return does not arise. Any doubts are set aside by the 'backwardness' of working life, long train travels, lack of phones, inadequate oppurtunities for someone with hi-tech qualifications and so on.

The newlyweds return to America with the groom having to explain the system of arranged marriages to the Americans. Most of them regard it as barbaric and on the same lines as communism. The tongue-tied bride is cajoled into explaining the bindi and saree. Looking for something homely the couple plunges into the frenetic expatriate weekend social scene comprising dinners, videos of Hindi/regional films, shopping at Indian stores, and bhajans.

Initially, the wife misses the warmth of her family, but the presence of washing machines, vacuum cleaners, day-time soap operas and the absence of a domineering mother-in-law helps. Bits of news filtering through from India, mostly from returning Indians, is eagerly lapped up.
In discussions with friends, the topic of returning to India arises frequently but is brushed aside by the lord and master who is now rising in the corporate world and has fast moved into a two garage home - thus fulfilling the great American Dream.The impending arrival of the first born fulfills the great Indian Dream. The mother-in-law arrives in time:after all, no right thinking parent would want their off-spring to be born in India if offered the American alternative.

With all material comforts that money can bring, begins the first signs of uneasiness - a craze for exotic electronic goods, cars and vacations have been satiated. The weekend gatherings are becoming routine.
Faced with a mid-life crisis, the upwardly mobile Indian's career graph plateu's out. Younger and more aggressive Americans are promoted. With one of the periodic mini recessions in the economy and the threat of a hostile take-over, the job itself seems far from secure.

Unable or unwilling to socialize with the Americans, the Indian retreats into a cocoon. At the home front, the children have grown up and along with American accents have imbibed American habits (cars, hamburgers) and values (dating). They respond to their parents' exhortation of leading a clean Indian way of life by asking endless questions.

The generation gap combines with the cultural chasm. Not surprisingly, the first serious thoughts of returning to India occur at this stage. Taking advantage of his vacation time, the Indian returns home to 'explore' possibilities. Ignoring the underpaid and beaurocratic government sector, he is bewildered by the 'primitive' state of the private sector. Clearly overqualified even to be a managing director / chairman he stumbles upon the idea of being an entrepreneur.

In the seventies, his search for an arena to display his business skills normally ended in poultry farming. In the eighties, electronics is the name of the game. Undaunted by horror stories about govt. red tape and corruption, he is determined to overcome the odds - with one catch. He has a few things to settle in the United States. After all, you can't just throw away a lifetime's work. And there are things like taxation and customs regulations to be taken note of. Pressed for a firm date, he says confidently - 'next year' - and therein lies our story. The next years come and go but there is no sign of our McCarthian freind.

In other words if X is the current year, then the objective is to return in the 'X + 1' year. Since 'X' is a changing variable, the objective is never reached. Unable to truly melt in the 'Great Melting Pot', chained to his cultural moorings and haunted by an abject fear of giving up an accustomed standard of living, the Non-Resident Indian vacillates and oscillates between two worlds in a twilight zone.

Strangely, this malady appears to affect only the Indians - all of our Asian brethren from Japan, Korea and even Pakistan - seem immune to it."

My dear Sravna,

For almost all Indians (except those who truly want to become complete renunciates, aghoris, etc.) the US is heaven because it promises the best of materialistic comforts and even pleasures. (After all the hindu concept of heaven or swargaloka is not very different from it.) Then why will anyone from India like to return to his/her homeland? Add to this the fact that most girls of marriageable ages (say, 20 and above) also cherish to emigrate to the west and lead the comfortable life there, rather than the mil-controlled or mil-infested life back home in India.

That said, will any sensible person think of offending (the sensibilities of) his/her unfortunate relatives in home country, who are unable to go & settle down in US, by bluntly saying that it is not worth to return or even to think of it? No. That is why this x+1 syndrome, as you put it.

It should also be gratefully remembered by we tabras that it was US, and the computer revolution, which saved our community from near-total ruin. Perhaps we should establish a temple and Mantapam for "Bill Gates" in the IT Park in Chennai and perform annual "aaraadhanai" for the wonderful services to our community. This x+1 syndrome is quite harmless but it may possibly assuage the feelings of the many unsuccessful "ammanjis" and their likes to imagine that they are 'thumbing nose' at the successful others.
 
The following is a nice article which was popular when I did my graduate studies in the U.S. which was way back.

Does it still reflect the reality?


"When an Indian professional becomes a 'Non-Resident Indian' in the United States, he soon starts suffering from a strange disease. The symptoms are a fixture of restlessness, anxiety, hope and nostalgia. The virus is a deep inner need to get back home. Like Shakespeare said, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."The medical world has not coined a word for this malady. Strange as it is it could go by a stranger name, the "X + 1" syndrome.

To understand this disease better, consider the background. Typically middle-class, the would be migrant's sole ambition through school is to secure admission into one of those heavily government subsidised institutions - the IITs. With the full backing of a doting family and a good deal of effort, he achieves his goal. Looking for fresh worlds to conquer, his sights rest on the new world. Like lemmings to the sea, hordes of IIT graduates descend on the four US consulates to seek the holiest of holy grails - the F-1 (student) stamp on the passport.

After crossing the visa hurdle and tearful farewell, our hero departs for the Mecca of higher learning, promising himself and his family that he will return some day - soon! The family proudly informs their relatives of each milestone - his GPA, his first car (twenty years old), his trip to Niagara Falls (photos), his first winter (parkas,gloves). The two years roll by and he graduates at the top of his class.

Now begins the 'great hunt' for a company that will not only give him a job but also sponsor him for that 3" X 3" grey plastic, otherwise known as the Green Card. A US company sensing a good bargain offers him a job.
Naturally, with all the excitement of seeing his first pay check in four digit dollars, thoughts of returning to India are far away. His immediate objective of getting the Green Card is reached within a year.

Meanwhile, his family back home worry about the strange American influences (and more particularly, AIDS). Through contacts they line up a list of eligible girls from eligible families and wait for the great great one's first trip home.

Return he does,at the first available oppurtunity, with gifts for the family and mouth-watering tales of prosperity beyond imagination. After inter viewing the girls, he picks the most likely (lucky) one to be Americanised. Since the major reason for the alliance is his long-term stay abroad, the question of his immediate return does not arise. Any doubts are set aside by the 'backwardness' of working life, long train travels, lack of phones, inadequate oppurtunities for someone with hi-tech qualifications and so on.

The newlyweds return to America with the groom having to explain the system of arranged marriages to the Americans. Most of them regard it as barbaric and on the same lines as communism. The tongue-tied bride is cajoled into explaining the bindi and saree. Looking for something homely the couple plunges into the frenetic expatriate weekend social scene comprising dinners, videos of Hindi/regional films, shopping at Indian stores, and bhajans.

Initially, the wife misses the warmth of her family, but the presence of washing machines, vacuum cleaners, day-time soap operas and the absence of a domineering mother-in-law helps. Bits of news filtering through from India, mostly from returning Indians, is eagerly lapped up.
In discussions with friends, the topic of returning to India arises frequently but is brushed aside by the lord and master who is now rising in the corporate world and has fast moved into a two garage home - thus fulfilling the great American Dream.The impending arrival of the first born fulfills the great Indian Dream. The mother-in-law arrives in time:after all, no right thinking parent would want their off-spring to be born in India if offered the American alternative.

With all material comforts that money can bring, begins the first signs of uneasiness - a craze for exotic electronic goods, cars and vacations have been satiated. The weekend gatherings are becoming routine.
Faced with a mid-life crisis, the upwardly mobile Indian's career graph plateu's out. Younger and more aggressive Americans are promoted. With one of the periodic mini recessions in the economy and the threat of a hostile take-over, the job itself seems far from secure.

Unable or unwilling to socialize with the Americans, the Indian retreats into a cocoon. At the home front, the children have grown up and along with American accents have imbibed American habits (cars, hamburgers) and values (dating). They respond to their parents' exhortation of leading a clean Indian way of life by asking endless questions.

The generation gap combines with the cultural chasm. Not surprisingly, the first serious thoughts of returning to India occur at this stage. Taking advantage of his vacation time, the Indian returns home to 'explore' possibilities. Ignoring the underpaid and beaurocratic government sector, he is bewildered by the 'primitive' state of the private sector. Clearly overqualified even to be a managing director / chairman he stumbles upon the idea of being an entrepreneur.

In the seventies, his search for an arena to display his business skills normally ended in poultry farming. In the eighties, electronics is the name of the game. Undaunted by horror stories about govt. red tape and corruption, he is determined to overcome the odds - with one catch. He has a few things to settle in the United States. After all, you can't just throw away a lifetime's work. And there are things like taxation and customs regulations to be taken note of. Pressed for a firm date, he says confidently - 'next year' - and therein lies our story. The next years come and go but there is no sign of our McCarthian freind.

In other words if X is the current year, then the objective is to return in the 'X + 1' year. Since 'X' is a changing variable, the objective is never reached. Unable to truly melt in the 'Great Melting Pot', chained to his cultural moorings and haunted by an abject fear of giving up an accustomed standard of living, the Non-Resident Indian vacillates and oscillates between two worlds in a twilight zone.

Strangely, this malady appears to affect only the Indians - all of our Asian brethren from Japan, Korea and even Pakistan - seem immune to it."
hi

initially its called NRI..............MEANS NON RESIDENT INDIAN............slowly he became another NRI....MEANS NEVER RETURNED

INDIAN........ANY WAY LIFE LONG ...HE ALWAYS A NRI......
 
Dear Sravna,

I am writing here about the cultural part of it leaving the economics to other learned members:

I am not one for whom a job in US is sour grapes.

I am not one either for whom a job in US is the only purushArtham for which I am born in this world.

Most of these IIT ians fall somewhere in between these two---category-wise.

When you want to return to India it is a really tough choice. Your family members as one solid group oppose it. Your children particularly. And you keep bleeding looking at the horrible scenario in which your dearest ones slowly get gobbled up by an alien culture. The question haunts you-"did I make a wrong decision 25 years back?"

Coming to the practical side of it leaving the emotional tangle, you have to decide whether you want to go back to India or not once for all. If your JD and Bacardi are more important to you at the end of the day, if your mind is already completely filled in by a mocking disrespect, hatred or dislike for the culture back at home leaving no space for a rethink, if your love for your kids is just "unconditional", if you do not believe in "putting a lock on the uterus of your children" and instead believe in just reminding your kids about taking the condoms along when they go out on one of those numerous dating rendezvouses, then perhaps you stay back in US. For heavens sake and your own sake don't return to India. You will be a complete misfit here.
 
hi

i like to add some more...not all NRI's are IITians....many gujaratis are happy in usa even without proper english learning from

home....they speak ONLY gujarati....still surviving in usa....especially NJ AREA.....I THINK THIS SYNDROME FOR ALL SOUTH

INDIANS....ESPECIALLY FOR TAMBRAMS......
 
Coming to the practical side of it leaving the emotional tangle, you have to decide whether you want to go back to India or not once for all. If your JD and Bacardi are more important to you at the end of the day, if your mind is already completely filled in by a mocking disrespect, hatred or dislike for the culture back at home leaving no space for a rethink, if your love for your kids is just "unconditional", if you do not believe in "putting a lock on the uterus of your children" and instead believe in just reminding your kids about taking the condoms along when they go out on one of those numerous dating rendezvouses, then perhaps you stay back in US. For heavens sake and your own sake don't return to India. You will be a complete misfit here.

Vaagmi ji,

I do see some hints of target specific sarcasm here...anyway you are making it sound as if all Virgins live in India and the US based Indians are all Wild Wild West Non Virgins!LOL
 


My dear Sravna,

For almost all Indians (except those who truly want to become complete renunciates, aghoris, etc.) the US is heaven because it promises the best of materialistic comforts and even pleasures. (After all the hindu concept of heaven or swargaloka is not very different from it.) Then why will anyone from India like to return to his/her homeland? Add to this the fact that most girls of marriageable ages (say, 20 and above) also cherish to emigrate to the west and lead the comfortable life there, rather than the mil-controlled or mil-infested life back home in India.

That said, will any sensible person think of offending (the sensibilities of) his/her unfortunate relatives in home country, who are unable to go & settle down in US, by bluntly saying that it is not worth to return or even to think of it? No. That is why this x+1 syndrome, as you put it.

It should also be gratefully remembered by we tabras that it was US, and the computer revolution, which saved our community from near-total ruin. Perhaps we should establish a temple and Mantapam for "Bill Gates" in the IT Park in Chennai and perform annual "aaraadhanai" for the wonderful services to our community. This x+1 syndrome is quite harmless but it may possibly assuage the feelings of the many unsuccessful "ammanjis" and their likes to imagine that they are 'thumbing nose' at the successful others.

Dear Shri Sangom,

I agree that the U.S. offers the best of materialistic comforts. But still for certain people including me that would not have been enough or more rightly not even necessary beyond an extent, the important thing being maximising your peace. But I again would concede that is not more likely to happen even in India of today. Sad but true.
 
Dear Sravna,

I am writing here about the cultural part of it leaving the economics to other learned members:

I am not one for whom a job in US is sour grapes.

I am not one either for whom a job in US is the only purushArtham for which I am born in this world.

Most of these IIT ians fall somewhere in between these two---category-wise.

When you want to return to India it is a really tough choice. Your family members as one solid group oppose it. Your children particularly. And you keep bleeding looking at the horrible scenario in which your dearest ones slowly get gobbled up by an alien culture. The question haunts you-"did I make a wrong decision 25 years back?"

Coming to the practical side of it leaving the emotional tangle, you have to decide whether you want to go back to India or not once for all. If your JD and Bacardi are more important to you at the end of the day, if your mind is already completely filled in by a mocking disrespect, hatred or dislike for the culture back at home leaving no space for a rethink, if your love for your kids is just "unconditional", if you do not believe in "putting a lock on the uterus of your children" and instead believe in just reminding your kids about taking the condoms along when they go out on one of those numerous dating rendezvouses, then perhaps you stay back in US. For heavens sake and your own sake don't return to India. You will be a complete misfit here.


Dear Shri Vaagmi,

The world has really shrunk and the attitude of the people is more or less uniform. Since India copies the U.S. it has inherited their weaknesses and in addition has its own weaknesses. The positives are gone. So India would still seem less desirable than the U.S. for many.
 
Vaagmi ji,

I do see some hints of target specific sarcasm here...anyway you are making it sound as if all Virgins live in India and the US based Indians are all Wild Wild West Non Virgins!LOL

No Renuka. You got it wrong. At a certain stage in life the kids need to get married (a biological/sociological need). To choose a suitable mate in India the format/method available is different from what is available in US. It is a part of the culture. I am not dumb to believe that the numerous dating rendezvous always remain clinically prudish without any trace of prurience. For an American what happens there is not something serious because the environment and culture is that. But for a TB 'trial and error method' is not available in such matters( at least I have yet to come across this kind of freedom here). I have not spoken anything about virginity. Keeping it or losing it and as to when to lose it etc. are purely personal decisions of the concerned individual. If one chooses to be a sucker who can stop her?
 
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To choose a suitable mate in India the format/method available is different from what is available in US. It is a part of the culture. I am not dumb to believe that the numerous dating rendezvous always remain clinically prudish without any trace of prurience. For an American what happens there is not something serious because the environment and culture is that. But for a TB 'trial and error method' is not available in such matters( at least I have yet to come across this kind of freedom here).

Nope. Some TBs employ the trial and error too. I personally know many TBs who have had gfs/bfs before marriage. Sometimes more than one. Yes, TBs who originated in India (our outside the US).
 
Coming to the practical side of it leaving the emotional tangle, you have to decide whether you want to go back to India or not once for all. If your JD and Bacardi are more important to you at the end of the day, if your mind is already completely filled in by a mocking disrespect, hatred or dislike for the culture back at home leaving no space for a rethink, if your love for your kids is just "unconditional", if you do not believe in "putting a lock on the uterus of your children" and instead believe in just reminding your kids about taking the condoms along when they go out on one of those numerous dating rendezvouses, then perhaps you stay back in US. For heavens sake and your own sake don't return to India. You will be a complete misfit here.

This post is so full of stereotypes, I dont even know where to start!
 
And I didn't bother to look into this thread judging by the title, another reminder, don't judge a book by its cover. Lots of fun, keep it up ....
 
hi vaagmi,

I have not spoken anything about virginity. Keeping it or losing it and as to when to lose it etc. are purely personal decisions of the concerned individual. If one chooses to be a sucker who can stop her?

i agree with u.....nobody can stop her to be sucker......
 
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I have not spoken anything about virginity. Keeping it or losing it and as to when to lose it etc. are purely personal decisions of the concerned individual. If one chooses to be a sucker who can stop ....
Now, if she is only a sucker, does she lose her virginity? Just curious....

You guys are really interested in virginity, aren't you???
 
Now, if she is only a sucker, does she lose her virginity? Just curious....

You guys are really interested in virginity, aren't you???

Being a sucker does not result in loss of virginity. But I think what is said is that if you are a sucker you are very likely to lose your virginity.
 
Being a sucker does not result in loss of virginity. But I think what is said is that if you are a sucker you are very likely to lose your virginity.
hi

SARIYAANA POTTI....SARIYANA BADHIL.....IDHU EPPADI IRUKKU..LOL
 
Being a sucker does not result in loss of virginity. .
Much obliged, I am surprised at your intricate knowledge about things such as these, I thought falacio will be outside the scope of your expert knowledge :), but I guess I am wrong!!!
 
Much obliged, I am surprised at your intricate knowledge about things such as these, I thought falacio will be outside the scope of your expert knowledge :), but I guess I am wrong!!!

It seems what you are talking is outside the scope of the argument.
 
Being a sucker does not result in loss of virginity. But I think what is said is that if you are a sucker you are very likely to lose your virginity.

I think 1st we have to define the word Sucker..there can be confusion here>

sucker
ˈ
noun


  • 1.
    a person or thing that sucks, in particular:.
  • 2.
    a gullible or easily deceived person.
    ,


Ok by the 1st definition:

1) A person or thing that sucks.

Going by this..there is no loss of virginity...self explanatory!


2)A gullible or easily deceived person.

Now here we have to pay close attention..

A gullible person might fall for love and sweet talk and fall prey to a person who might just be looking for sex and then ditch the person..most victims are innocent sweet virgin girls or sweet virgin guys who do not know how to play their cards right.

Now the person who is street smart would know how to identify a predator and take the predator for a nice ride and ditch the predator leaving him/her High and Dry..so technically no loss of virginity here for the street smart person.


So looks like it only innocent suckers get screwed!LOL
 
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I think 1st we have to define the word Sucker..there can be confusion here>



Ok by the 1st definition:

1) A person or thing that sucks.

Going by this..there is no loss of virginity...self explanatory!


2)A gullible or easily deceived person.

Now here we have to pay close attention..

A gullible person might fall for love and sweet talk and fall prey to a person who might just be looking for sex and then ditch the person..most victims are innocent sweet virgin girls or sweet virgin guys who do not know how to play their cards right.

Now the person who is street smart would know how to identify a predator and take the predator for a nice ride and ditch the predator leaving him/her High and Dry..so technically no loss of virginity here for the street smart person.


So looks like it only innocent suckers get screwed!LOL

Dear Renuka,

The point is a sucker is generally not street smart and hence is an easy prey. The predator chooses her and not vice versa
 
Dear Renuka,

The point is a sucker is generally not street smart and hence is an easy prey. The predator chooses her and not vice versa

Why do I see gender bias here?

A sucker can also be a male..the innocent virginal types who can get seduced easily and the cry "aiyoo amma"

A person might chose to willingly "donate" his or her virginity and still not be a sucker.

A "donor" is in full control of what he/she does..a sucker is never in control of anything.
 
Why do I see gender bias here?

A sucker can also be a male..the innocent virginal types who can get seduced easily and the cry "aiyoo amma"

A person might chose to willingly "donate" his or her virginity and still not be a sucker.

A "donor" is in full control of what he/she does..a sucker is never in control of anything.

Dear Renuka,

We are not talking about those who willingly indulge in sex. But about only those who are taken for a ride. There is so much possibility of that happening.
 
Dear Renuka,

We are not talking about those who willingly indulge in sex. But about only those who are taken for a ride. There is so much possibility of that happening.


Dear Sravna,

I get what you mean..but usually those who are taken for a ride are the innocent strict home guys and girls..these are the types that commit suicide if they get ditched by their partners.

Their world comes to an end when their virginity is lost.
 
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