But in stating prudential rules for our government in society I must not omit the important one of
never entering into dispute or argument with another. I never saw an instance of one of two
disputants convincing the other by argument. I have seen many, on their getting warm, becoming
rude, and shooting one another. Conviction is the effect of our own dispassionate reasoning, either
in solitude, or weighing within ourselves, dispassionately, what we hear from others, standing
uncommitted in argument ourselves. It was one of the rules which, above all others, made Doctor
Franklin the most amiable of men in society "never to contradict anybody." If he was urged to
announce an opinion, he did it rather by asking questions, as if for information, or by suggesting
doubts. When I hear another express an opinion which is not mine, I say to myself he has a right to
his opinion, as I to mine; why should I question it? His error does me no injury, and shall I
become a Don Quixote, to bring all men by force of argument to one opinion? If a fact be misstated,
it is probable he is gratified by a belief of it, and I have no right to deprive him of the
gratification. If he wants information, he will ask it, and then I will give it in measured terms;
but if he still believes his own story, and shows a desire to dispute the fact with me, I hear him
and say nothing. It is his affair, not mine, if he prefers error.
There are two classes of disputants most frequently to be met with among us. The first is of young
students, just entered the threshold of science, with a first view of its outlines, not yet filled
up with the details and modifications which a further progress would bring to their knowledge. The
other consists of the ill-tempered and rude men in society, who have taken up a passion for
politics. (Good humor and politeness never introduce into mixt society a question on which they
foresee there will be a difference of opinion.) From both of those classes of disputants, my dear
Jefferson, keep aloof as you would from the infected subjects of yellow fever or pestilence.
Consider yourself, when with them, as among the patients of Bedlam, needing medical more than moral
counsel. Be a listener only, keep within yourself, and endeavor to establish with yourself the
habit of silence, especially on politics. In the fevered state of our country no good can ever
result from any attempt to set one of these fiery zealots to rights, either in fact or principle.
They are determined as to the facts they will believe, and the opinions on which they will act. Get
by them, therefore, as you would by an angry bull; it is not for a man of sense to dispute the road
with such an animal.