Raji Ram
Active member
Sadly very true!!
Either the parents accept the decision or keep away from the son / daughter.
out: But in most cases, after a child is born, the differences are patched up!! :lol:
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A Tamil Brahmin Dilemma
- Thread starter krish44
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Either the parents accept the decision or keep away from the son / daughter.
out: But in most cases, after a child is born, the differences are patched up!! :lol:
Raji Ram
Active member
I totally agree!
Even the cousins settled in North India think they are superior!!
There is no end to name calling.
This tu tu main main can be avoided for a healthy dialog and personal attacks can be avoided for a meaningful dialog.
There is no single path or way to find a good match.
There is no match without compromises as there is nothing called a perfect match.
Then the issue is what to hold dear and what to dilute on.
It is clear that education,job and economic well being is the highest priority.
This is what makes tamil brahmins a nomadic clan moving from mid india with telugu lineage to deep tamilnadu as a agrarian community with tamil language instead.
When it was better economics , they shifted to metros to adopt an urban avahar ,learning english and became wage earners in british regime.. When it got bad again
due to political changes, they drifted to north, west india. Later with technology revolution, they have gone abroad in droves for a better living.
With every movement, they got rid of some of their traditinal baggage in terms of dress, looks, , eating habits and rituals and retaining some which were convenient.
To say those who retained more of what their fore fathers practised and they are better human beings is open to challenge.Those who rode change giving up more to
become affluent are objects of both jealousy and derision.
When someone makes a choice from another community it is normally well thought out. No one allows or supports children to jump into any other beds in the name of
marriage without coldly thinking out the pros and cons.If marriage turns out to be successful , Then one can take pride.
Ha haRecently a girl in our family circle married a tambrahm guy from Mumbai.
She answers in Hindi when that guy asks something in Tamil.
I was missing your wise cracks.
Keep it up.
It will pour cold water on hot emotions
C
CHANDRU1849
Guest
It is not so. TB boys may be serious in following the customs and conventions and try to teach if he enters an IC/IR marriage. Whereas in the case of TB girl, she will completely change to the adopted caste or religion. This is more pronounced in the case IR marriages.
Pathamadai Sankar ji,
Being in areas like "Pathamadai" if Brahmin boys are in pursuit of other non Brahmin girls, then non-brahmins will not
offer area famous " Pathamadai pAi"(mat);but take out area specific "aruvAL" in their hands. Is it not?
tbs
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hiRecently a girl in our family circle married a tambrahm guy from Mumbai.
She answers in Hindi when that guy asks something in Tamil.
mostly TB boys/gals prefer hindi than tamil in north india.....i know in my circle in delhi....even they like to talk hindi at home...
Most of the TBs realise what grave mistake they did tresspassing into Other's territory after some years. But it is always too late and they curse and suffer the onslaught. In my opinion TB culture/custom/tradition is the best for human being and you can never expect others to follow these traditions/rituals continuously or adopt to other's traditions. Is it not difficult to make a crow into swan. It is now 5116 years into Kaliyug and everything stands to deteriote further.
We can easily shrug off by alluding to Kaliyug and shirk from our responsibility as a parent or sister or brother....This vacuum is leaving our kids at the mercy of strangers!
Vaagmi
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Vaagmi
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Parents who have never bothered to teach brahmin's values culture etc., to their children have no options. the children decide and parents just have to agree or get lost. The pros and cons become all pros because it is convenient. It is better than nursing a deep would inflicted on the parents.
There is nothing to take pride. It is a treasure/ a precious inheritance lost for ever.
Vaagmi
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TB parents, besides pursuing a career with enthusiasm should find and make time for their children.
Every day the Dinner should be taken together as a rule.
The Dad and Mom should find through friendly conversation what is troubling the minds of youngsters besides what they are happy about.
If they do not do this they are not parents. They are just Rakshasas in whose hands the innocent children are just dolls.
Every day the Dinner should be taken together as a rule.
The Dad and Mom should find through friendly conversation what is troubling the minds of youngsters besides what they are happy about.
If they do not do this they are not parents. They are just Rakshasas in whose hands the innocent children are just dolls.
...And stupid individuals post stupid inferences, as proof of their stupidity.
Dear Shri vgane, thanks for your appreciation.
I think the problem is lack of introspection. If we understand the whys and whats of a community, perhaps it would help us ease our burden. Are people from other caste or religion rakshasas or aliens. Agreed they have different customs and practices, and it is easy when two willing minds from the same group marry. But when a preference arises, parents, as responsible individuals, have to ensure that the climate for the marriage is made conducive. If I may so ask, how and why do you say, as a generalization, that ic & ir marriages are a rot?
They can offer their daughters to delhi tamil brahmin boys.lol
mkrishna100
Active member
True I have seen cases where the Children have gone so away from their parents and they now wonder what went wrong .
mkrishna100
Active member
True and it applies not just to TB Parents . Anyone desiring a Healthy family relationship must see to it that all have their dinner or breakfast together .
Once I listened to an interview of Ace Tennis Player Vijay Amritraj and he said the same i.e though he is outside India , he sees to it that at least during Breakfast / Dinner times they have it as a family together and this value must be nurtured to develop a healthy family life .
C
CHANDRU1849
Guest
One member is rightly said that Tamil B community is a bottle of Marbles. Once it comes out, each and everyone takes its own route.
B community, especially Smarthas, is in a terrible mess. Already the community has multiplicity of Gods to worship. Added to this, each day one new God man arrives, creates his own group with PROs and chants namasankeerthanam non-stop. Though the community has permanent Acharyas, apart from numerous God-men, guidance is missing to follow a uniform pattern.
Unless Smarthas sit together and develop a common approach, including the God to be worshipped, the situation may not be rosy and we may expect more IC/IR marriages, both from boys as well as from girls side.
B community, especially Smarthas, is in a terrible mess. Already the community has multiplicity of Gods to worship. Added to this, each day one new God man arrives, creates his own group with PROs and chants namasankeerthanam non-stop. Though the community has permanent Acharyas, apart from numerous God-men, guidance is missing to follow a uniform pattern.
Unless Smarthas sit together and develop a common approach, including the God to be worshipped, the situation may not be rosy and we may expect more IC/IR marriages, both from boys as well as from girls side.
IC & IR marriages is a consequence of our community members going astray..They do not follow any of the traditions & are a misfit in both the communities! They are not respected! I have seen a TB girl who was pushed into a flesh trade after she married a Erode based NB...Some are forced to cook NV food...Some do odd activities to sustain themselves (One of the TB girls is working in a crematorium burning dead corpses & her story was also published in this forum)...Such families hardly get support from fellow community members!!
The offspring of such union is not considered Brahmin...If they follow Hindu traditions well & good...At best most of the IR & IC couples are interested in getting their children married to a Brahmin thus creating more unholy unions!
There are a few cases (a rarity) who are happy & well settled...But 90% in India are interested only to break this union & come out! This is the true picture!!
Many of these couples run away to foreign shores under some pretext to escape the stigma!
If the IC & IR marriages are a minority then no one would notice..But with this becoming mainstay in 40 to 50% cases in the last 10 years, it is causing angusih in the community...
A day may come when Tamil Brahmins will be forced to stay separately to protect the community!!
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All this is hysterical drama .
I do not believe that anyone other than a brahmin is all evil
Recommend Masaan -a hindi film with varanasi backdrop.
Your view of brahmins and NBs will change
Why do you think I should be hysterical....I base my decisions only based on actual data (not anyone's figment of imagination)
Reality will strike when our tribe gets lost & in any case you & I are not going to see that! May be our dead souls can mourn or relish(as many of us do in this forum)!
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