A thought on Respect and Civility

[raysundar]

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Treating Brahmin as a class or caste is where the problem lies. Brahmin is a way of life prescribed in our scriptures. Identifying oneself as a Brahmin by virtue of birthright is morally wrong. Unless you practice that way of life or strive to do so and attain that perfection by performing priestly duties you are not a Brahmin. It is a title much like Ph.D or M.S among the educational community. Once you become an engineer and or scientist and have acquired other degrees and proficiency then so be it. Don't call your self a Brahmin unless you follow that way of life. Anyone can be a Brahmin by adopting that lifestyle and having a religious order give you that title as a Pandit or a Priest. This is the new World order!

 

[ramavarad]

I do agree with Mr.Raysundar comments but with some refinement. Brahmin are those who are accustomed to brahma gnanam. i.e. those who are well versed to vedic dharma prescribed by vedha as one outright thumbrule. Sage Valmiki/vyasa maharishi are all not brahmins by way of birth. They followed vedic dharma. No question of degree being accorded. The Bakthi of Nammazhwar was not a brahmin. But people follow nammazhwar vehemently for his contribution in 4000 dhivya prabhantham.

 

[tks]

I do not understand the behavior of derailing threads. It is not about freedom of expression because opposing views or even related views have always been welcome.

Respecting the norms of a given topic and section area is really about display of self respect. If it is a discussion area, why turn into a chit-chat forum simply because one can do so?

Some start with personal insults and some love to interpret vigorous response to an issue as a personal attack in order to turn the discussion into a set of attacks. Some like to constantly police others and create new rules while breaking them themselves. Some like to bring irrelevant items as a way of derailing a thread. Some want to be funny and turn a good discussion into possibly a meaningless chatter.

Members are really guests here who have the influence to make this forum a great place for exchange of ideas. Personal insults have a venue and that is via private messages only.

We do want opposing views to be aired and they make a forum topic come alive.

If I did not live up to what I am stating here please let me know via PM and once the understanding is clear I will be happy to post the issue and an apology as well.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

In my experience, we have few whose only aim is to watch for interesting threads.

And the next course of action will be to make a slow entry into the thread.

Then, seriously take all out efforts to meddle with the thread and at last derail it.

This has been happening in this Forum quite some time and they are successful in their attempts.

One more thing, in the meanwhile they used to shoot irrelevant postings and thus try to provoke few.

Such act of this member will irritate the OP he may either become furious or more aggressive.

And now the interesting part will start with this member performing a noisy ஒப்பாரி as though some injustice is done to him/her and try to gain some sympathy.

This is one member’s Modus Operandi.

Now it is the Brigades turn:

As soon as this ஒப்பாரி is heard, the other members of the Brigade will dutifully make entry with their only ammunition of name calling, teasing, humiliation etc.

There will be lot of postings but nothing will be relevant to the thread, even if it is a serious subject, it will be dragged as a ‘Chit Chat’ one.

The advantage of the Brigade is most of its members are quite free throughout the day and have an urge/ burning desire or a iron will to navigate every interesting thread closure to the grave.

Some real veterans of this Forum once suggested me that don’t go to their their level while retaliating, instead try to bring them to higher level.

IMO this brigade has no sense of self-discipline, self-respect, ethics, etc. They simply throw every such things to the wind.

And make it a difficult task for the other to stand to the ground and defend himself because it is a team and the weakness of the other may be perhaps lack of time left at his disposal to respond.

Even if one try to remain a satvic, they will convert us into tamas with their non-stop provoking postings.

Here is a specimen:

The above post looks likeplot of a tamil serial complete with crazy woman, with flash back oflove,romantic encounters,court case with hero heroine ,lawyers and judge.

Members feverish mind is working overtime . Somehave a police mentality doubting even their own grandmother background.This isa mindset.

It is high time to get trained to defend ourselves from this Brigade's attack, as locking of horn on topics is becoming inevitable at times.

They come here with cock and bull story and don't want anyone to question whatever they write.

And off late I started to develop love againt my will on such encounters, what to do...??

P.S: The members watching such conflicting postings will only try to keep away fron their active participation.

This may be also a valid reason for most of the members keeping away from active participation. It is infact a loss to the Forum and we may miss some interesting and worthy contributions.

Every one is not good with fighting spirit.

So if one don't have the prerequisite fighting spirit she/he may not be able to survive.

And one cannot report to the Moderator every now and then

BTW does every one possess the prerequite qualification of fighting spirit against the railing ferocious gang???

 

[renuka]

BTW does every one possess the prerequite qualification of fighting spirit against the railing ferocious gang???

Dear Sir,


In the past there have been some members who on first joining forum were sort of unable to handle some amount of "attacks".

Well most of us have been tru this but some members too in the past had voiced this to me and I had managed to guide them well on how to go about forum.

In fact some of those who took training from me before are very well capable now of even handling Gangs of Wasseypur.


So if anyone is having problems handling any brigade or gang...I can offer "training' services that can make them into Navy Seals of forum.

So do not worry too much sir.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Dear Sir,


In the past there have been some members who on first joining forum were sort of unable to handle some amount of "attacks".

Well most of us have been tru this but some members too in the past had voiced this to me and I had managed to guide them well on how to go about forum.

In fact some of those who took training from me before are very well capable now of even handling Gangs of Wasseypur.


So if anyone is having problems handling any brigade or gang...I can offer "training' services that can make them into Navy Seals of forum.

So do not worry too much sir.

Doctor Mam,

With publication of this posting, you will have more enquiries and enrolment.

Waiting to face an army of attackers and battle of words. LOL

 

[renuka]

Some real veterans of this Forum once suggested me that don’t go to their their level while retaliating, instead try to bring them to higher level.

Dear Sir,


Both you and the other veterans are not accurate in my opinion.

No one can raise another and no one can lower another.


Lord Krishna had clearly said in Geeta:

[FONT=&quot]TEXT 5[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]uddhared atmanatmanam
natmanam avasadayet
atmaiva hy atmano bandhur
atmaiva ripur atmanah


TRANSLATION
A man must elevate himself by his own mind, not degrade himself. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.
[/FONT]​

So Sir...no need to worry too much...we can only be responsible for ourselves.
Trying to elevate or lower others is just a delusion.

 

[renuka]

Doctor Mam,

With publication of this posting, you will have more enquiries and enrolment.

Waiting to face an army of attackers and battle of words. LOL

No problems sir....I have trained some well..they are doing fine...some are trigger friendly too!LOL

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Source: Google images

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Source: Google images

 

[zebra16]

Post # 50 in this thread was posted on 19.08.2015.

After nearly a year, on 03.08.2016, this thread was resurrected from the ashes vide post # 51. I cannot find any continuity or common purpose between the posts upto # 50 and posts # 51, 52, 53 etc. For that matter, all posts in the new era of 2016 can only be very tangentially connected to the main purport of the thread.

What am I missing ?

 

[Raji Ram]

Sticky threads live for ever, Narayan Sir!
Just relax and if possible, enjoy reading the posts! :ranger:

 

[raysundar]

Post # 50 in this thread was posted on 19.08.2015.

After nearly a year, on 03.08.2016, this thread was resurrected from the ashes vide post # 51. I cannot find any continuity or common purpose between the posts upto # 50 and posts # 51, 52, 53 etc. For that matter, all posts in the new era of 2016 can only be very tangentially connected to the main purport of the thread.

What am I missing ?

Thank you for pointing that out Zebra16. I am the culprit, a new comer to the TB forum a that time. I was reading another thread about qualified Tamil Brahmin and I had mistakenly typed my answer to that forum over on this thread. I apologize for apparently derailing this forum. I could not figure out how to retract what I had typed in at that time. I can try and delete it now if possible.
Please ignore that and continue with stimulating discussions on respect and civility.

 

[prasad1]

Please ignore that and continue with stimulating discussions on respect and civility.

raysunderji, there is no need to apologize.

Any thread that is open is always available for posting. Instead of opening a new thread on a similar topic, it is better to revive an old thread.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

I had mistakenly typed my answer to that forum over on this thread. I apologize for apparently derailing this forum. .

Raysunder Ji,

It is very nice of you for having come here to admit your mistake of posting your text in a wrong thread. It shows that you have absolutely no intention of derailing this thread

Unlike other threads, this one is started by the owner of the Forum himself to emphasis members about maintaining self-respect, discipline, ethics etc.

 

[tks]

Why revive the message of this thread at this time?

In my view, it is good to be reminded periodically the first line of the first post of this thread

The primary aim of this forum is to provide a platform wherein one can have a talk (debate) on various topics under the sun in a civil manner whereby one respects the views of others - however and whatever it might be.

I understand the above to mean that there is a common sense expectation of certain decorum in our posts here.
Such a self discipline and self respect by each of us enables us to have all kinds of discussions under the sun which is a privilege.

In my understanding, It does ask NOT anyone to change their mind or even change their pride and prejudices. But it does mean that certain behavior is expected regardless of the worldview one may choose to hold.

I do not know if there is a proper response when a poster is repeatedly not living to the norms of the expectations. Let me share my approach to this problem.

In a professional setting or work place setting, I have learned to respond with sufficient force to stop repeated offenders from being effective. One needs that kind of skill to survive and thrive in certain environments where satvic response is viewed as a weakness allowing the gamesmanship to continue.

However, in this forum we are all guests here. I have come to believe that the best way to deal with offenders here is to ignore them genuinely. My regard for such people's posts and views goes down and I have no further interest in what they have to say anymore.

It is easy then to skip their posts and not even read them or feel the need to respond. Now I do not harbor any ill feelings towards anyone because their posts need not affect my disposition. If the offending poster begins to have respectful engagement then it is easy to re-engage.

Pretending to ignore a repeat offender's posts is a game which they may thrive in. It is a change of mind that is needed first. Then it is easy to ignore and engage with other posts that are more interesting.

Now there is no correct response to uncivil and disrespectful posts. I shared my approach because it leads to least expenditure of energy. There is a ignore option available in our profile that can help hide certain member's posts. This way we need not react to a person's post.

 

[Raji Ram]

........ There is a ignore option available in our profile that can help hide certain member's posts. This way we need not react to a person's post.

Dear TKS Sir,

Even if the posts are NOT hidden, we can still ignore some posts without responding!

 

[renuka]

Doctor Mam,

I would like to bring to your kind notice posting No.4 of this very same thread dated: 12.01.2015:




I am not in any mood to give up.

I would like to prove that I am slightly different from others who have become inactive in this Forum, unable to face the gang and its ferocious consistent attacks.

Cheers.

Dear Sir,


Good that you have fighting spirit but sometimes its futile to be a rebel without a pause.

The constant contemplation on the squad or brigade makes you deify them in your mind.

Without you realizing they have taken over your mind..they have invaded your personal space...there is no where to run..you only keep running to them and to their each and every post.

They have made you addicted to them...you need them..you can't survive without them..your very existence in forum revolves around them.

Haven't you realized they have spun a web around you?

For them its not addiction to you but they keep collecting prey as they grow in size.

Sir...Yad Bhavam Tad Bhavati...I am afraid you have succumbed to the squad.

 

[auh]

There is no "they" and "we"... people who adopt this attitude are only seeing ghosts in the dark.

 

[GANESH65]

Without you realizing they have taken over your mind..they have invaded your personal space...there is no where to run..you only keep running to them and to their each and every post.

They have made you addicted to them...you need them..you can't survive without them..your very existence in forum is enshrouded by them.

Very true. Some years back, I also prey victim of this! I had to part with some one for no fault of mine, but I used to get a feeling of the presence of this person very often around me and it was very difficult to behave normal for few days immediately after the incidence. It took almost six month to get back to usual routines.

 

[renuka]

Very true. Some years back, I also prey victim of this! I had to part with some one for no fault of mine, but I used to get a feeling of the presence of this person very often around me and it was very difficult to behave normal for few days immediately after the incidence. It took almost six month to get back to usual routines.

True...its mostly reverse psychology being played in a very devious manner...the best part is the perfect skill that it leaves no evidence to even point of finger to the other person.

All reactions are seen only in the victim and at any time the other person can claim that the victim imagined it.

 

[krish44]

Sometimes some imagine that others are out to get them.They are in fact paranoid and feel others are ganging up to do them in.

This in many cases is because of many past incidents not necessarily related to post in this forum.

For such people it is best they take rest , divert their mind to other things and return with renewed vigour.

 

[Raji Ram]

Very true. Some years back, I also prey victim of this! I had to part with some one for no fault of mine, but I used to get a feeling of the presence of this person very often around me and it was very difficult to behave normal for few days immediately after the incidence. It took almost six month to get back to usual routines.

Dear Sir,

Like the movie 3?? Just kidding.

Ignoring is the best way out, imho!

Kamsa was thinking more of Krishna than Krishna's real bhakthAs!

Hope you get the point!

 

[V.Balasubramani]

But Krishna never spared Kamsa...................

I think the members of the Forum know pretty well how Kamsa, the demon was killed by Krishna.

Krishna who came to the wrestling ring, jumped into it , seized Kamsa, knocked off his crown first and dragged him to the wrestling mat by his hair and easily killed Kamsa.:Cry:

This is the fate of wicked mind people. :sad:
And members know who are the wicked minds of this Forum too.:laugh:

And the Almighty will not spare anybody even if it is Kamsa...... LOL

 

[renuka]

Arey yaar...what is all this Mahabharat going on?

I don't think there are any wicked minds here in forum..its just that we have different minds.


So there is no need to even think that the Almighty will not spare anyone...how are we so sure would be spared by the Almighty?

None of us are perfect...lets learn to fight effectively.

We are actually quite a weird lot...naah...not wicked at all!