A write up on TamBram Mamas ..

[Rudhran]

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I see people in 80's getting remarried and carry on their life going on vacation and having good time. Can you imagine an Americal woman that way.
Why do Indian parents (widow or not) think they have to be unpaid nannies.

[h=1]When it comes to comparing USA with India, this may be the other side of the coin….[/h][h=1][/h][h=1]Parent either father or mother abandoning the children due to divorce and in most of such cases, the responsibility of bringing up these grand children lies with the grand parents …oh… that is another cycle of child rearing for them at their golden years....[/h][h=1][/h][h=1]This is also the ground reality….in USA[/h][h=1][/h][h=1]More than 2.5 million grandparents take on role of parent[/h]
WILMINGTON, Del. -- These are supposed to be their golden years. They worked hard, earned a decent living and raised their family. Now it's time to relax and reap the benefits of a life well lived

But not for those who have had to take on the responsibility of raising grandchildren. Their golden years have been put on hold as they have begun another cycle of child-rearing.

Delores and Larry Kling have been parenting their 8-year-old granddaughter, Amber, since she was an infant. The Klings' son and the child's mother abandoned their baby and have yet to remember her on birthdays and holidays.

While Amber is a loving child who does well in school, her grandmother worries how much the situation with her biological parents has affected her and is seeking counseling to help them all cope.

"It's heartbreaking," said Delores Kling. "I'm sure it's on her mind all the time."

Read more at: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news.../rise-of-granparents-grandfamilies/54206854/1


[h=3]MORE: More grandparents taking on a second round of parenting[/h]

 

[renuka]

I did not mean any disrespect to any members here. I am sorry if you feel slighted.

Dear Prasad Ji...I did not feel slighted at all.

I was just explaining the scenario here in Msia on how grandparents help looking after grandkids and we as children look after our parents...its a mutual symbiotic situation.

Out here the concept of retirement homes or homes for the elderly is only for those whose children fail their duties to look after their parents.

The concept of joint family does not exists here at all but since its a very small country everyone is within reach.

So no problems Prasad Ji...I was merely sharing how things work out here.

Not only me..many people still have good family ties with each other.

On a personal note..I still do feel the single elderly should remarry cos even if God stands in front of us there is still nothing like the love a partner can give us.
You cant have a physical relationship with GodLOL


I do admire the spirited Americans too..they never lose passion for love and life.

 

[krish44]

Renukaji

Back to her pet theme-getting single seniors remarried.

Senior men must be jumping with joy at the prospect of touch of women in retrirement homes.

Some chase female nurses there{ thats a recurring nightmare for these women nurses.They send male attendants to take care of such cases]

Lot of single senior women might welcome this.

Only they would prefer some younger sturdy men , not toothless tigers.

I was reading about Koel puri Rinchet who loved dancing with Shahrukh khan, ex french president Sarkozy and Salman Rushdie and has posted her photos dancing with

them

She says their grip at the back , firm and a little lower than normal sent special waves into her.

Our senior single women might dream of such strong men .

Who cares for companionship with male senior men drop outs in retirement homes?

 

[renuka]

A man too much younger than a woman would only bring out maternal instincts in a woman.


Also if all senior women prefered young men..what would happen to senior mAmas?
Since they are toothless tigers as you say they might have to get hitched with a young hot dentistLOL

But would young dentists want a toothless oldie?
Surely they want Tigers that can bite!!

 

[krish44]

You know renuka ji, many women have appa hang up. They would like husband to be like their appa.This is the biggest challenge for young male husbands

If the young girl happens to be a dentist she could fit the senior men with new teeth . Teeth transplant is becoming popular.

Then she can give Tiger biscuits [popular brand in india] to senior men .lovingly

 

[vgane]

Now fortunately most TB widows have moved away from narmadipudavai! Some of them wear colorful sarees, glass bangles, bindi , jewellery & also sport jasmine flowers!! This is welcome one!!

 

[krish44]

I know one tamil brahmin woman in fiftees whose husband a well known scientist died.

When someone went to offer condolences to her after a few weeks, she said I have since remarried my husbands colleague and am happy.

Pl do not offer me any condolence and threw the person out.

Times have changed.

So no sense in posting sob stories.

 

[prasad1]

Now fortunately most TB widows have moved away from narmadipudavai! Some of them wear colorful sarees, glass bangles, bindi , jewellery & also sport jasmine flowers!! This is welcome one!!

Yes our society too should prosper and adopt new social norms.
About 40 years ago my father passed away. He was a smart man, he willed all his property to my mother, and made sure that it was non-contestible, and can pass to his children after her death.
My mother managed her affairs with my brother helping her. She maintained her independence, She would visit her daughters. who were out of town.
Thankfully she did not go the "narmadi" way, inspite of social pressures.
I wish the sane courage and an understanding family to all women in India.

 

[renuka]

You know renuka ji, many women have appa hang up. They would like husband to be like their appa.This is the biggest challenge for young male husbands

If the young girl happens to be a dentist she could fit the senior men with new teeth . Teeth transplant is becoming popular.

Then she can give Tiger biscuits [popular brand in india] to senior men .lovingly

Arey yaar its not appa hang up....if husband is older..we females woul look younger than him.

Younger husband..we will look much older than him and a younger man would have seen and conquered younger bodies..so how to heck for old ladies to display their aged shareerams to a younger male?

Aiyooo..too embarassing.

Old guy is ok cos he would be balding..cataract..so he wont be looking for asthetic perfection as much.

Even if an elderly lady still looks hot she might not be too comfortable to hook up with a younger male as a life partner..but if one is looking for a gigolo then younger ones are ok.

 

[renuka]

I know one tamil brahmin woman in fiftees whose husband a well known scientist died.

When someone went to offer condolences to her after a few weeks, she said I have since remarried my husbands colleague and am happy.

Pl do not offer me any condolence and threw the person out.

Times have changed.

So no sense in posting sob stories.

LOL...is this real?
Unless these 2 were having an affair from before and killed the husband...it seems humanly impossible to remarry after a few weeks.

Grief process takes sometime.

Btw do we Hindus have a minimum period of mourning before a widow or divorcee can remarry?

In Muslims this is called Iddah..in a divorcee who is not pregnant its for the time frame of 3 monthly periods for the lady.

If pregnant...Iddah is till delivery.

This is to make sure no confusion in paternity of a child.

 

[krish44]

Renukaji

I never post stories which are not true.

Sometimes some incompatible couples live together for a lifetime maintaining an open image of happy couple.

They live their independant life otherwise living under the same roof with little communication.

About 20 years or so back , divorce was a stigma for both and it was an economic necessity to live in an unhappy marriage together.

I know more than one tamil brahmin brahmin couple in delhi who lived that way.

The woman I mentioned was aunt of my school mate. She was about 45 plus when it happened and husband fifty plus.

The husband had been bedridden for a few months before passing away and husbands colleague saw her through this phase.

She thought that marrying him was the logical thing to do as it was difficult to survive alone.

She had no children.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

You know renuka ji, many women have appa hang up.(Krish#105)

Dady' girl or Electra Complex of Jung

Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father.

Freud calls it Penis Envy

 

[krish44]

You know renuka ji, many women have appa hang up.(Krish#105)

Dady' girl or Electra Complex of Jung

Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father.

Freud calls it Penis Envy

Many married girls play the Appa card frequently.

They would tell their husband that her appa would have done it for her if he refuses to oblige her on any issue.

So the husband has to live up to her needs to keep her happy.

 

[Raji Ram]

You have missed the US visits he makes to see his children

Even if children are settled ONLY in India, a mAmA could still be modern. :thumb:
And ......... madisanchi (pattikkAdu) mAmAs also visit the U S of A!! lane:

BTW, once, one such mAmA and mAmi (clad in madisAr) were travelling with us and mAmi offered 'vazhi idlis' to me!

'Vazhi idlis' are those idlis, smeared with abundance of idli moLagAppodi + nalleNNai.

 

[Raji Ram]

Now fortunately most TB widows have moved away from narmadipudavai! Some of them wear colorful sarees, glass bangles, bindi , jewellery & also sport jasmine flowers!! This is welcome one!!

Rarely I see widowed ladies wearing flowers and glass bangles but almost everyone wears colorful sarees, jewels and

sticker bindis. They are allowed on stage during weddings and it is definitely a welcome change! :thumb:

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

முட்டாக்கு and நார்மடி are no more visible among TBs But covering head with saree pallu ( முட்டாக்கு ) is common in North and even insisted upon in few temples there

 

[Daksha Kumar]

Even if children are settled ONLY in India, a mAmA could still be modern. :thumb:
And ......... madisanchi (pattikkAdu) mAmAs also visit the U S of A!! lane:

BaTW, once, one such mAmA and mAmi (clad in madisAr) were travelling with us and mAmi offered 'vazhi idlis' to me!

'Vazhi idlis' are those idlis, smeared with abundance of idli moLagAppodi + nalleNNai.

Vazhi Idlis in an airplane?????

 

[Daksha Kumar]

Rarely I see widowed ladies wearing flowers and glass bangles but almost everyone wears colorful sarees, jewels and

sticker bindis. They are allowed on stage during weddings and it is definitely a welcome change! :thumb:

I think this practice stopped in my husband's family during the mid 80's.

 

[Daksha Kumar]

முட்டாக்கு and நார்மடி are no more visible among TBs But covering head with saree pallu ( முட்டாக்கு ) is common in North and even insisted upon in few temples there

One thing I cannot understand is that when widows were made to wear the Narmadi/ white saree in other communities they just did not start to wear it.

They normally have a ceremoney for that on the 10th/13th or 16th day.

People who have seen it say the ceremoney is more painful than anything.

 

[prasad1]

'Vazhi idlis' are those idlis, smeared with abundance of idli moLagAppodi + nalleNNai.

We (let us say I) never travel without that delicacy. We used to take Thiayar Sadam too, before 9/11, TSA does not permit that anymore. But on road that is a must for me.

 

[a-TB]

Is there a write up on TB Mamis?

 

[tbs]

Is there a write up on TB Mamis?

hi

why not....its gender equality....i will start with tb mamis.......starting with COMPARISON MAMIS....always comparison

with pakkathu aathu/own father.. or some other AMMANJI OR MAAMANJI.....here ammani means athai payyan/mama payyan...

nice and famous song for these kind mamis....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbtMpYhXx5E....

 

[prasad1]

Is there a write up on TB Mamis?

Good to see you, must be very long time. How are you?

 

[mskmoorthy]

Is there a write up on TB Mamis?

It was posted in the first page of this thread https://www.tamilbrahmins.com/showthread.php?t=35493&p=378486#post378486


Reposting just the links below

https://thirtymlmusings.wordpress.com/2013/12/30/the-ascent-of-the-maami/ and https://rajathathablog.blogspot.in/2017/01/varieties-of-mammium-chennapatnam.html

 

[renuka]

I dont know much about mAmIs but I can write about RR ji and VR ji.

To me they are Rambo mAmIs...they are strong minded...have great skills in their respective fields and can fire away on their RudraVeena and reduce any opposition to ashes.

So Rambo mAmIs get my vote.