Are arranged marriages good for tamil brahmins?

[krish44]

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Who is better repressed angels or satisfied old souls?

 

[Vaagmi]

Who is better repressed angels or satisfied old souls?

Angels who are contented are certainly better than satisfied old devils. LOL.

 

[vgane]

Vijay Mallya is a proclaimed offender....Why compare with him?

For TB's arranged marriages or semi-arranged marriages are the only way forward...Get married early by 25 & use your libido for channelizing your energies in positive way!

 

[Raji Ram]

Angels who are contented are certainly better than satisfied old devils. LOL.

:thumb:

 

[rishikesan]

Dear mr, V. Balasubraramamani, I totally agree with your comments on this Topic, which get repeated without final or majority member:s feelings/ . I am for this Topic & I do not like frivolous / casual comments / not feeling for the brahmin Boys/ Girls.,I am clamouring for serious thoughts/ try for serious discussion among ourselves in some way (If we cam meet in Madras ?)
Let me highlight as an Example as to how such important, Topic, necessary ,in the current state of life are treated , not only lightly, but in a jokular manner ?
1) # 5 is written by seasoned Veteran Krish44 & # 6 by Risikesan/ A.Srinivasan Mr Krish has, as usual given a detailed narration of the Current trend & also giving Solution.
2) In #6 myself,(A. Srinivasan ) have strived to highlight the real situation on Marriages/ the serious trend/ roles played by All including the Boys/ parents of both , & in the larger interest of our society, made a practical approach to minimize problems & ensure smooth sailing for all stake holders.
3) In #7 and #8 Mrs Raji has only commented about Mr Krish , who is the Hero of this Forum (in good sense/ his writings are no match ) that too in lighter vein / no seriousness
4) my #6 , has escaped Raji rams attention. Had she read mine & given a thought on my objective narration, she would have given her suggestions as well.-- It usually happens to my writings, perhaps , because it has no charm, nor tallying with the Veterans thinking ?
5 ) Mr Krish-44, Please read # 6 of mine & offer your suggestions/ how to gather support from you--- stalwarts?
6 ) # 10Mkrishnans is thought provoking. Please give your suggestions on my #6

Thanks
A, Srinivasan)

 

[Raji Ram]

Since Rishi Sir wants the answers for his post, here are mine in blue.

Friends,

1. I refer to #4 of Vaagmi---- Our all experienced Krish 44, provides lots of in-puts. he provides , from time to time the ground situation on the discussion of Marriages of Tamil Brahmins.

Yeah!

2. Enough has been discussed in this Forum.

OK. So what else to write than derail this thread!

3. Besides we also have gone through the changing trends, esp. the girls attitudes. All of us feel, that because the Girls have upper hand in settling the marriages, because the trend is set in a way that major, post marriage settlement of the couples are decided & get implemented , after the newly married couple decide finally & the respective parents & families follow, duly finding ways --- To make imperative changes ,by way of resettling themselves , so that the parents would continue to get moral/ financial support from the respective sons/ daughters, wherever they live ?

Nice to get support from the girls but how is it possible ONLY in arranged marriages? Does it not depend on the girl's attitude alone?

4. In this scenario, lesser problems only likely , if arranged marriages are done. This is likely to give less chances for ill-will ,& Divorces would become difficult for the women , once the couple had their own decisions .

No way, Rishi Sir! There are many divorces in arranged and love marriages. Selfish nature in humans is at its peak! :sad:

5. Note :- i am confident to claim that major problems, arising after the families are set up & the new couples are allowed to have freedom & less interference from the In-laws (esp Mothers -in law ) for the first few years , atleast till a Baby is born ,
The inlaws on both sides must, I repeat must develop good friendship & keep continuing , with Objective mind, nothing should be difficult . All concerned , esp. Elders should have a Give & Take Policy, All can enjoy the future of their lives with all happiness
We should not give room for unnecessary problems & get them nipped i the Bud Your tolerance should be the Key & if you Win ? ---mean All Win .

Which new couple is willing to take the parents with them? Please look around, Sir.

Rishikesan ( A. Srinivasan )
.

Members can get the point if told once. There is no need for the 'repeat' syndrome!

 

[Raji Ram]

Tambrahm girls are well educated and can take decisions on their own. The parents can help her to choose from a few good profiles,

if she permits them to look for her partner. So, advises are of no use and I am sure no girl in marriageable age is reading these posts!

We had one youngster but she is not seen for a lo...............ng time.

 

[prasad1]

Tambrahm girls are well educated and can take decisions on their own. The parents can help her to choose from a few good profiles,

if she permits them to look for her partner. So, advises are of no use and I am sure no girl in marriageable age is reading these posts!

We had one youngster but she is not seen for a lo...............ng time.

G
Good advice.
Marriage is good for anyone who wants it, has temperament for it, and is willing to compromise and work for it to be successful.

 

[Raji Ram]

My cousin searched a matrimonial site and gave three profiles to his daughter, working in the U S of A. . She opted for one and talked to him

on phone and then on skype, to see each other. Then they met in person at the boy's house and showed 'green flag'. Girl's parents flew from

India to meet the boy's parents. The wedding will be celebrated in India during Christmas vacation - who bothers about 'MArgazhi'!!

 

[Raji Ram]

......... Marriage is good for anyone who wants it, has temperament for it, and is willing to compromise and work for it to be successful.

Very true, Prasad Sir!

 

[krish44]

Since Rishi Sir wants the answers for his post, here are mine in blue.

Members can get the point if told once. There is no need for the 'repeat' syndrome!

Senior citizen become forgetful with age.

if anything is periodically repeated, It sometimes registers and stays for a longer time.

Most women repeatedly say same things to transform husbands until they succeed in transforming menfolk.

So some not so senile say araicha maavu, though correct it pays to repeat the message.

Also like Goebbels anything repeated a few times becomes the truth.lol

 

[krish44]

Very true, Prasad Sir!

The issue is only how much compromise.

Most henpecked are most happy.lol

 

[krish44]

Tambrahm girls are well educated and can take decisions on their own. The parents can help her to choose from a few good profiles,

if she permits them to look for her partner. So, advises are of no use and I am sure no girl in marriageable age is reading these posts!

We had one youngster but she is not seen for a lo...............ng time.

Girls might be educated.

If they have wisdom, they will stay far away from parents when they decide on whom to marry.

If parents write in the forum appealing to thinking of youngsters they might join and participate actively.

Some of our liberal posts can be re posted in other forums which youngsters frequent.

Then it might draw some here.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Those wbo believe in Goebbels theory should first try to understand that it is not Germany.

He did not survive to enjoy the recognition.

He and his wife committed suicide,. Why....???

One should read history and come to the forum for grumbling. lol

What is the purpose of the thread? ..... Passtime

What is the content : Araichi araichi pulichipona Maavu

What is its effectiveness: Humiliating or belittling South Indian TB parents by a stranger




AAP legislator from Narela Sharad Chauhan has been arrested by police in connection with the suicide of a woman worker of the party

Excerpts:

The family members of the woman had claimed that she had gone into depression after her alleged molester Bhardwaj, an AAP colleague, was released on bail.

She had also alleged that the accused was being protected by the local AAP MLA.

The woman in a video recording had also levelled serious allegations against Bhardwaj, accusing him of pressuring her to “compromise” if she wanted to rise in the party and claimed himself to be “close to the local party MLA

Read more at: http://www.livemint.com/Politics/GTaWtsDBlKBtb99LvwggrK/Another-AAP-MLA-arrested.html

P.S: This is current status quo….. This member being a Delhiite may pay better attention to get justice rendered to the victim.. by organizing a demonstration at Jantar Mantar.

Will he do...

He may feel that it is easier for him to open a thread on 'Arranged marraige' and pass commtns on South Indian TB parents. lol

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Can one follow Goebbels theory by repeating the fact that this thread is nothing but an Araichi araichi pulichipona maavu for every five posts. lol

So that this periodical reminder get registerred and stays in the mind of the members for a longer time. lol

 

[krish44]

I will re post from another forum frequented by youngsters on how it is to be in Live in. relationship in india-period three years

Pros
1,.We help each each other in daily lives from cooking to paying bills

2.we can be intimate any time of day -no one is there to judge.

3. We bathe together in evening. It is a stress reliever

4.Our friends visit us freely and we also do the same

5. We go on our bikes each weekend { thats the best part}

CON
1. We stay away from parents and can get to visit on extended weekends

2.It is sometimes tedious living by ourselves since both of us are working

3Some people are too judgemental towards us

Comment

How many TBs can accept this If our children did that.?

A girl has posted this.

 

[krish44]

Live ins normally end with marriage after 2 or 3 years -normally when the girl gets pregnant.

My sons colleague in a live in got a registered marriage done with my son being a witness. The girls parents were present but boys parents refused to turn up.. They had

a reception at a hotels where mostly friends and colleagues were present.


Some live ins break down.

In these cases both get burnt out and return to single status to remain in that condition for a few years. Only the optimist recover fully to try again with a different

person on their own. Mostly they return to arranged marriage path to find a match.Parents find a match for them even after knowing their past record. WE are indian

parents you know. We will not let down our children

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

​

This thread as usual takes twists and turns! No worries. This is after all Chit Chat!!

Dear Krish Sir,

TB girls are very clear in choosing their partners and bold enough to go for a divorce, in case the choice is wrong.

This applies even to the semi arranged and arranged marriages.

Vijay Mallya is a proclaimed offender....Why compare with him?

For TB's arranged marriages or semi-arranged marriages are the only way forward...Get married early by 25 & use your libido for channelizing your energies in positive way!

Those wbo believe in Goebbels theory should first try to understand that it is not Germany.

I will re post from another forum frequented by youngsters on how it is to be in Live in. relationship in india-period three years

Pros
1,.We help each each other in daily lives from cooking to paying bills

2.we can be intimate any time of day -no one is there to judge.

3. We bathe together in evening. It is a stress reliever

4.Our friends visit us freely and we also do the same

5. We go on our bikes each weekend { thats the best part}

CON
1. We stay away from parents and can get to visit on extended weekends

2.It is sometimes tedious living by ourselves since both of us are working

3Some people are too judgemental towards us

Comment

How many TBs can accept this If our children did that.?

A girl has posted this.

Here is a story that can link to all the above comments

Yes there is one Malliya of Tamil Nadu who did arrange the wedding of his daughter This M is not a liquor baron - did not inherit but built his drug industry - He is the founder Chairman of a listed Pharma Company He is no MP but a Padma Sri - He arranged his daughters wedding about 4 years back wedding to be performed in Rani Meyyamai Hall after a long engagement in oct 2015 They had Engaged all over India and US for about 1 years - when I was about to book tickets to Madras to attend the wedding -i Got a message from the boys mother - They have disengagd by Mutual Consent! - The father has defaulted repayment of huge amounts to banks and rescheduling of the loan - Madras HC has given him breather ! Yes TB Girls and boys are bold - after 2 years of live in!

This boys is getting married in November in Valliammai Hall of Mayor Ramanathan Hall - This again an arranged marriage Girs father Buracrat TN Govt. Mother runs an NGO with funds from Europe They are engaged for the past 6 months - wedding is in Nov before her Father retires! This is how Parents of TB react to day!

Yes this thread can take twists and turns Mallaya & Goebells included!

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Why leave the King of Greek kingdom, Alexander the Great and the Indian Bank Ex-CMD Kopalakrishnan, etc

Let the list grow.....include everyone.....

Let there be more twist and turns...now and then...

Let there be mind blowing......shameless....etc etc.

<snipped>

Read somewhere...

Man with a donkey or woman with donka..... will just to bring rains to scorched lands..,..

When a section believe this...... why not believe other posts

Here is the story...

Arranged marriage and definitely not a love marriage I belive

Donkey wedding staged to bring rain

Residents of India's southern city of Bangalore have married off two donkeys, in the hope that the ancient ritual will usher in good monsoon rains.

Though monsoons have hit southern India, Bangalore is still waiting for its first showers and residents decided to invoke the ritual - detailed in Hindu scriptures - after their prayers failed to deliver.

Two donkeys - the bride Ganga and the groom Varuna - tied the knot at a temple on the city outskirts to loud cheers of about 100 guests, who attended the ceremony.

Rains are crucial in India, as the majority of the country's population of over 1 billion depends on agriculture and farming.

The happy couple - who wagged their tails, oblivious to the commotion - were married off in a traditional Hindu ceremony, with the bride clad in a green silk sari with gold zari.

'Praying for rain'

Great attention was also paid to ritualistic details such as the perfect invitation card, the right wedding attire and the freshest flowers.
[TABLE="width: 203, align: right"]
[TR]
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A traditional band entertained the guests, who sprinkled the newlyweds with flowers.

"We are praying for rains. We need rains, hope gods are pleased and it rains in Bangalore today," Manjual, one of the guests, told Reuters news agency.

Only at one point did the groom get restless: when his attendant tied the holy threads around his hind and fore legs.

The guests, each of whom contributed to the marriage expenses, were later treated to a traditional meal at the temple.
Before leaving the ceremony, everybody was hopeful it would start raining soon.

Meanwhile, the BBC's weather forecast suggested unbroken sunshine in Bangalore until Sunday at the earliest.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/2998872.stm

 

[krish44]

If one would look around, you would find more and more of these stories.I agree with JJ ji.

Society is changing too fast for most to comprehend.

It is better to be in live in and breakup than after marriage . the courts do not make divorce possible easily in india. One loses four to five years.

Public spaces are not safe for single women.

If they work in places far away from parents home, It is sensible to share a flat with a boy who can give them a feeling of protection.

Now the preferred combination is two girls and a boy sharing a flat on rent.

One girl moves out if one of them gets into a relationship with the boy.

Most value friendship with persons of similar age and share living space than getting tangled in only women hostels whose amenities are bad and rules are stifling.

If itresults in something more than friendship ,it is added bonus.

 

[Vaagmi]

Pros
1,.We help each each other in daily lives from cooking to paying bills

Read : boy washes the utensils and grates the coconut while the girl cooks. It is not the fire/heat that does the cooking. It is the girl who really cooks.

2.we can be intimate any time of day -no one is there to judge.

Except the neighbor as we leave open our windows when we get intimate. Anyway who would like to sit in judgment of intimacy between a couple and rank it? LOL.

3. We bathe together in evening. It is a stress reliever

Only when bathing together or even when bathing separately. Needs a careful scientific assessment.

2.It is sometimes tedious living by ourselves since both of us are working

We miss the mollycoddling and the opportunity to exploit parental affection to laze around.

 

[subharama]

Arranged marriages are also there are troubles but it can be solved by elders amicably.

 

[krish44]

If life of our single working girls in metros have to change,firstly public spaces needs to be safe.

Our womens hostels should be good without regressive rules and poor living conditions in most of them forces the girls to look for alternatives.

Girls taking flats in housing societies on rent are subject to scrutiny by neighbours and their lives are made hell by many snooping on them [this is chennai malady].

There is mindset that they are basically immoral and are in boy trapping mode all the time.

In chennai is the worst metro for working single girls.

Bangalore ,pune are their preferance.

In both places , live ins are maximum.

These girls are definitely changing the inter personal equation between boys and girls.

They will usher in a society where caste , region,language will cease to matter.

They will get into relationship of convenience and maximum comfort with boys on equal terms.

They will share home responsibilities based on each others strength and needs.

They will not get harassed by dowry,inlaws or regressive actions of an outdated order.

They will know how to close the windows of their homes to shut off old nosey neighbours.

Yes , they will miss their parents no doubt.

But they will realise most of the parents are dysfunctional and have nothing much to offer.

The parents are already in marriages which are dead and spend most time fighting each other and in blame game at the end of life

 

[GANESH65]

I also support post NO. #8

 

[Raji Ram]

I will re post from another forum frequented by youngsters on how it is to be in Live in. relationship in india-period three years

Pros
1,.We help each each other in daily lives from cooking to paying bills

2.we can be intimate any time of day -no one is there to judge.

3. We bathe together in evening. It is a stress reliever

4.Our friends visit us freely and we also do the same

5. We go on our bikes each weekend { thats the best part}

CON
1. We stay away from parents and can get to visit on extended weekends

2.It is sometimes tedious living by ourselves since both of us are working

3Some people are too judgemental towards us

Comment

How many TBs can accept this If our children did that.?

A girl has posted this.

If by chance I happen to meet that girl, I shall ask her in what way it is different from living together after marriage!

All those pros and cons given by her, are very much true for all the working wedded couples. (Who lives with the parents, anyway!!)
Actually, the ONLY advantage is that there is no marriage expense, which is sky high now a days! opcorn:

OMG! I forgot the divorce expenses! ( I am reminded of what the little girl says to Kamal in his movie 'Avvai Shanmukhi', when he tells her that

no one will marry her, if her teeth are not good. The reply of that kid, 'appO divorce-um agAdhu!) :lol: