Bringing Up Oldies.

[renuka]

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Dear All...Raji Madam started a thread in GD about Child Rearing and the lack of manners in kids these days.

But at the same time we can not deny even Oldies are not easy to manage these days.

As we age there is no denying that many Oldies get hypersensitive and see the world thru a glaucomic tunnel vision.

Its not easy to deal with any aging person if we actually realize it or not.

There is also a risk of we becoming like an Angry Bird Oldie as we age.

So how can we prevent this Angry Bird Oldie Syndrome.

I would like members to share their inner most opinion on this.

This is a real problem not to be under addressed.

Recently I attended a seminar where many Oldies were praising themselves as how much better professionals they are then the professionals of the present.

They were indulging in so much self praise and I burst their bubble by telling them "Well..I guess even the generation of professionals before you would have had the same opinion...we always think we are better than the present generation...but is it so? or its just us holding on to memories so fond?"

Well..I got the stares from many.

Lastly Oldies too throw tantrums and need a lot of attention.

As I wrote in Child Rearing thread..Infancy and Senility though polar opposites share the same axis in terms of expression.

Lets us all prevent this Syndrome from affecting us as we age so that we can make the World a better place for you and me and the entire human race.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

The shortest answer to prevent Angry Bird Oldie Syndrome is: Their vAnaprasthA !!

Vanaprastha is part of the Vedic ashram system, which starts when a person hands over household

responsibilities to the next generation, takes an advisory role, and gradually withdraws from the world.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

The shortest answer to prevent Angry Bird Oldie Syndrome is: Their vAnaprasthA !!

Very good answer RR ji...but how many follow this?

 

[Raji Ram]

Very good answer RR ji...but how many follow this?

:yo: Renu!

I recommend senior resorts (I don't like to call 'old age homes'!) when

a) The oldies are NOT able to manage daily chores at home. :ballchain:

b) When their children are abroad and visit them as 'athithis'. :sad:

c) When they are financially sound / their children support them financially!

I expect Krish Sir to jump in and object my views!!

 

[krish44]

Young ladies,
You are taking potshots at my constituency.

I support the senior citizen cause.

We can give kids a run for their money.

In face we can out run them ,out talk them and change like a chamelon out thinking them

We cannot be taken lightly.

Most youngsters with a couple of degrees from a foreign univ working for MNCs think we are outdated,old in years and thought and should go to senior citizen homes.

We have a lot of fight left.

We can take on most of them flexing our mental muscles that they will come crawling to us for help and redemption of their tattered lives.

We out of pity alone do not compete with youngsters.

If we did, they would be marginalised in no time

 

[Vaagmi]

Young ladies,
You are taking potshots at my constituency.

I support the senior citizen cause.

We can give kids a run for their money.

In face we can out run them ,out talk them and change like a chamelon out thinking them

We cannot be taken lightly.

Most youngsters with a couple of degrees from a foreign univ working for MNCs think we are outdated,old in years and thought and should go to senior citizen homes.

We have a lot of fight left.

We can take on most of them flexing our mental muscles that they will come crawling to us for help and redemption of their tattered lives.

We out of pity alone do not compete with youngsters.

If we did, they would be marginalised in no time

That's the spirit. My thumbs up there.

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear Renu,

The shortest answer to prevent Angry Bird Oldie Syndrome is: Their vAnaprasthA !!

Vanaprastha is part of the Vedic ashram system, which starts when a person hands over household

responsibilities to the next generation, takes an advisory role, and gradually withdraws from the world.

The problems arise because,

1. handing over- not ready to take over. we still need oldies to take care of our tots, and we have vocational goals to reach.

2. advisory role- who wants your advices? you are so out of touch with trends.

3. gradually withdraw - No. better get lost to the anonymity of an old age home. you are too nosy to gradually withdraw.

 

[Rudhran]

Young ladies,
You are taking potshots at my constituency.

I support the senior citizen cause.

We can give kids a run for their money.

In face we can out run them ,out talk them and change like a chamelon out thinking them

We cannot be taken lightly.

Most youngsters with a couple of degrees from a foreign univ working for MNCs think we are outdated,old in years and thought and should go to senior citizen homes.

We have a lot of fight left.

We can take on most of them flexing our mental muscles that they will come crawling to us for help and redemption of their tattered lives.

We out of pity alone do not compete with youngsters.

If we did, they would be marginalised in no time

While reading such posting senior citizen may get a pep up feel.

But what is the ground reality?

If at the age of seventy, a senior citizen think that he may out run, he may out talk... and change like a camelon, etc etc and at last may also feel better than the young generation. There is no barrier in thnking. But what is the ground reality.

This is nothing but illusion....and lacking logic.

And my first question is why then the Central Government, State Government, Public Sector Undertakings have all prescribed age limit for retirement.....??

I need an answer to the point....


P.S.: May be rarest of rear can agree to this. If we are talking about common man...an average citizen. it is definitely far from truth. Just my two cents.

And the thread opener being a Doctor may have good knowledge about the age related ailments... disabilities... etc etc

 

[renuka]

Good response so far.

I like Krish Ji post..it shows Oldies still have Power.

Way to go Krish Ji.

 

[krish44]

The problems arise because,

1. handing over- not ready to take over. we still need oldies to take care of our tots, and we have vocational goals to reach.

2. advisory role- who wants your advices? you are so out of touch with trends.

3. gradually withdraw - No. better get lost to the anonymity of an old age home. you are too nosy to gradually withdraw.

What many seniors see as problems, I see as oppurtunities for seniors.

When youngsters would like seniors to be babysitters alone and be only that without offering any advise,I would like as a senior turn their lives upside down Push them to

become multi taskers managing home and vocations, I would learn all latest trends and become role models for them to emulate in dress ,in acquiring branded clothes of

foreign brands,develop their taste for bigger cars and buying swankier homes, teach them risk management to play in financial markets.I would hug all their young

friends and indoctrinate them with my ideas of liberal living and fast thinking and action. I shall prepare them for coping with jet age requirements and becoming

global

players.

Only next generation I hope will not drop out due to pressures I put on them.LOl

Living life to the full without withdrawl symptoms is the goal.

Will the next generation match up to my needs and demands?

 

[Rudhran]

Good response so far.

I like Krish Ji post..it shows Oldies still have Power.

Way to go Krish Ji.

Writing differ from action... effective action.

Anyone can sit before a system and use to key board to type texts with power ....more power.

But where is the real power....? Something in action...?

Why the poster first of all allowed to retire....?

Why is he sitting before a system and typing powerful text...?

He can exhibit his power .. more power by attending his Office now..

Will they allow him inside his Office now.. ? I mean to execute work and not as a visitor....?

I can presume as to why MK is sitting in wheel chair and Stalin is made as working President.

Some may like power in words.. but more like 'action kings'.

 

[GANESH65]

Good topic you have chosen, Renuka ji..

The "youngsters" of 60+ defenitely needs due attention and respect they deserve. Considering average age span of 75 to 80 years, they deserve the remaining 15 plus years in a degnified manner and it is the duty and responsibility of the younger generation to take care off. Whether they remain as a joint family is a different issue. If at all they do many of them may be doing a job of baby sitters/aayas or care takers. What my sugggestion is something else. Many of them must have versatile experience of life in different feilds which should not allowed to go waste. In case the family thinks he cannot be accommodated they should atleast provide them exposure to the external world where their experience could be handy for social causes. That way balance could be struck between their interference in family affairs wihout affecting their ego.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

I pondered over the title of this thread and felt something wrong.

We bring up children and NOT oldies!

The topic could have been,'How to tackle oldies!' :boink:

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

I pondered over the title of this thread and felt something wrong.

We bring up children and NOT oldies!

The topic could have been,'How to tackle oldies!' :boink:

Believe me RR ji..its the same.

 

[renuka]

Writing differ from action... effective action.

Anyone can sit before a system and use to key board to type texts with power ....more power.

But where is the real power....? Something in action...?

Why the poster first of all allowed to retire....?

Why is he sitting before a system and typing powerful text...?

He can exhibit his power .. more power by attending his Office now..

Will they allow him inside his Office now.. ? I mean to execute work and not as a visitor....?

I can presume as to why MK is sitting in wheel chair and Stalin is made as working President.

Some may like power in words.. but more like 'action kings'.

Ok..to know who has the power..we can organize a Forum Jallikattu next Ponggal.

Lets see which mAma wins.

 

[krish44]

Rajiramji, young lady

We seniors are tackling you and not the reverse.

Ganesh 65 posts are apologetic, seeking /begging permission from the young to do their own thing.

There is no need to beg anyone, the least the younger members of the family.

They can stand for themselves, assert their rights and do exactly what pleases them.

Age is just a number.

Why fall into the stereotype of old timers becoming baby sitters and domestic help of their son/daughter?

This is mindset which many seniors have.

They lose their confidence when they retire .

When they have to stand erect and ooze confidence ,they stoop ,crawl and get into begging mode.

It is a big world with a lot of oppurtunities.

If only one could look around there are options to be excercised.

We senior should learn to rule and not beg.

 

[krish44]

Ok..to know who has the power..we can organize a Forum Jallikattu next Ponggal.

Lets see which mAma wins.

Some mamas are not jallikattu material.

They are kodi pidikkara mama

 

[Raji Ram]

........ 1. Age is just a number.

2. Why fall into the stereotype of old timers becoming baby sitters and domestic help of their son/daughter? ...

1. 100% true, Krish Sir!!
2. Yeah! Our duties are over, once we finish child rearing! :couch2:

Back to my point: Those who wish to get rid of household chores, find a posh senior resort and enjoy life!

 

[Raji Ram]

I find only three categories of Angry Bird Syndrome mAmAs - Good, Better and Best in order:

:boink: ............. :fish: ............ :croc:!!!

 

[Raji Ram]

There are some real good mAmAs too! :tea:

 

[Rudhran]

Rajiramji, young lady

We seniors are tackling you and not the reverse.

Ganesh 65 posts are apologetic, seeking /begging permission from the young to do their own thing.

There is no need to beg anyone, the least the younger members of the family.

They can stand for themselves, assert their rights and do exactly what pleases them.

Age is just a number.

Why fall into the stereotype of old timers becoming baby sitters and domestic help of their son/daughter?

This is mindset which many seniors have.

They lose their confidence when they retire .

When they have to stand erect and ooze confidence ,they stoop ,crawl and get into begging mode.

It is a big world with a lot of oppurtunities.

If only one could look around there are options to be excercised.

We senior should learn to rule and not beg.

We have more to talk like Alexander the Great......

And a lot to preach like Julius Caesars ..

And when it comes to action, we can only find people rushing with more power and enthusiasm but holding a WALKING STICK, WEARING HORN RIMMED GLASSES AND HIGH END HEARING AID plugged in their ears.

Besides, when some one holds the mic,one should see them the way they address the public, delivering a fire brand speech with more enthusiasm, enterprising, dynamism, etc etc

And in between one can find them taking more gulp of Club soda intermittently.

Even without a Gulp of Club soda these personalities are unable to give a continuous speech.... more particularly a powerful speech.... it is not known as to whether the so called power comes from their mind... or from the Club soda they take...lol

I have seen people talking like Arise.....Awake and stop not.....etc etc a thought provoking speech that will turn the audience into power packed match sticks.

But once the speech is over, you can find them going to a bar, relax and take few pegs of Vodka... and think about the next meeting and speech to be delivered...collecting the 'Dakshana'..!!

We have no dearth for 'paper tigers'.

 

[Rudhran]

Why fall into the stereotype of old timers becoming baby sitters and domestic help of their son/daughter?

பாம்பின் கால் பாம்பறியும்

 

[GANESH65]

Rajiramji, young lady

We seniors are tackling you and not the reverse.

Ganesh 65 posts are apologetic, seeking /begging permission from the young to do their own thing.

There is no need to beg anyone, the least the younger members of the family.

They can stand for themselves, assert their rights and do exactly what pleases them.

Age is just a number.

Why fall into the stereotype of old timers becoming baby sitters and domestic help of their son/daughter?

This is mindset which many seniors have.

They lose their confidence when they retire .

When they have to stand erect and ooze confidence ,they stoop ,crawl and get into begging mode.

It is a big world with a lot of oppurtunities.

If only one could look around there are options to be excercised.

We senior should learn to rule and not beg.

It is neither apologetic nor a begging bowl, Krish ji. It is what is happening in real in our society. With the present day life style many of these (not all of them- please mind it!)people do not possess the physical strength to move around by themselve, let alone the ideology of "standing for themselves or do what ever pleases them. I do not mean that they should be dependent for each and every thing they do, what I mean to say is that they need and deserve the emotional support from people around them so that their abilities are better utilised by the society, which in no way means holding a begging bowl. Yes, there are opportunities, but I don't think one can conquer sky all by himself. He need support some times, somewhere. Let the younger generation be the helping hand here..

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Ganesh Sir,

Why no comments on the other thread about 'Child rearing'?

 

[krish44]

It is neither apologetic nor a begging bowl, Krish ji. It is what is happening in real in our society. With the present day life style many of these (not all of them- please mind it!)people do not possess the physical strength to move around by themselve, let alone the ideology of "standing for themselves or do what ever pleases them. I do not mean that they should be dependent for each and every thing they do, what I mean to say is that they need and deserve the emotional support from people around them so that their abilities are better utilised by the society, which in no way means holding a begging bowl. Yes, there are opportunities, but I don't think one can conquer sky all by himself. He need support some times, somewhere. Let the younger generation be the helping hand here..

Ganeshji

We are not islands . we could live integrated with society around without banking on children alone.

There are so many prepared to help seniors who require physical help .

If one networks we can always find someone or other.

IMHO paid help is better than relatives.

I prefer to bank on them.

Our mental faculties I hope would not let us down for a decade or so more.

Let us see.

Issues are not same for all seniors.

There are only individual solutions for the needy