There is a right way of doing things. And a wrong way. IMHO eloping is the wrong way. As someone with parents i can't imagine how/why anyone would put their parents through such a thing. There is always room to sit down, discuss and come to an amicable solution with some persistence. Never say never as Shri K always says
dear amala,
i think you are personalizing this elopement, as something that is happening in your household. admittedly, you have a very close loving open frank friendshiplike relationship with mummy daddy. good for you, and i am sure of this, for otherwise you would not write about the feelings of mapa.
but not every household is like that. my own house, it was very stratified. dad would have had no clue if i had talked of love marriage. mom would have had a better idea, but not very open minded about it either. that was how i was treated. if i fallen in love in india, i would have had no choice but to antagonize my parents and move out.
in many of tambram households, parents and kids are so distant, that they hardly speak to one another, beyond the mundane stuff of day to day routines. the governing word, is respect, and not friendship between equals.
now my sis, 7 years younger. she felll in love with this guy, who openly came into our street strutting proudly like a peacock. mom could not do anything about it, as she had no control over him. the fact that he was a tambram, helped soothen things, and she was more nervous, not about my sister going wayward, but what the neighbours would say. it appears to be the same concern from vgane's sister - what the society would say.
you might also think again to your statement - would there be a situation where you and your parents are at standstill? some boy of a type, that your parents will never agree. if so, what will be you plan of action?
in my own experience, the last few weddings in chennai for my nieces or nephews, barring one, all were love marriages. but all of them married tambrams and as a consequence there was not any opposition. whereas my nephews nieces in north india, all have married north indians, and even there no opposition was experienced. had it been any other faith than hindus, or even lower caste, i am sure, all hell would have broken loose.
ps..can i ask you a favour. please address me as 'K saar' or 'K sir'. shri K sounds too formal to be addressed between chums
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