Cooking - duty? Can a indian woman hate it and live her life? Neeya naana

[kunjuppu]

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neeya naana june 23

here is a full episode of yesterday's neeya naana.

very interesting in that, we have two groups of women, both able to cook, one loving it and the other hating it.

other topics touched, are the impacts of love life, child rearing and career advancement.

this was never an issue in my home, as i knew how to cook and maintain a clean household prior to marrying mrs K. we have a division of labour - indian food, the missus cooks (though i make a mean sambhar, rasam or molagooshyam ) i also make any veggie fry or podithooval, though the kids say, it does not come out as flavourful as what the mom makes.

all other schools of cooking, bar indian, i take ownership. which is about twice a week or may 3 times.

we used to enjoy eating out, but dont do that anymore, as i stopped enjoying it. in this show, my vote was on the side of the women who did not like cooking - i can understand their frustration.

napoleon buonaparte is supposed to have said that an army marches on its stomach. while i ask, 'is the only way to a man's heart is through his stomach'? we do see some control freak women in the show, who use the kitchen as a power centre .i shudder at the fate of any woman marries these type of women's sons.

the punch line of the show comes last 10 minutes. all the women who supposedly 'enjoy' cooking, did not pass on the skills to their daughters. they considered education and high salaries that went with it as more important life skills.

yes, none of my nieces, who married last 5 years knew cooking. neither do the brides coming august .. 'lets eat out' is a popular phrase in most young households today. i have a gut feeling.

 

[amala]

I've noticed my relatives, family friends etc in India even though middle class or so, all have maids and many of them especially working ladies, even employ cooks. So in a way they are lucky, even without cooks, if you have a maid come daily to do the cleaning then all you have to do is cook. Even that many don't. The vegetable seller and shops are just next door or come to your house. But in the West you don't get maids (unless extremely upper crust and with more wealth than you know what to do with) to cook and clean and one must do everything. In many countries one must get the car and travel some distance just to buy milk (so planning the weekly grocery shopping is more economical).

Someone known to me who goes to Uni in here was very shocked and highly amused that her uni mate from Delhi has absolutely no idea how to boil water! because she never entered the kitchen as she had maid(s)!...or rather servants as they are called there. What a life eh!

I'm not sure if I have digressed from the OP but what I'm trying to say is that in India it doesn't really matter if you can cook or you can't, will or won't it seems to me. Because everyone who is anyone seem to have maids to help out. But over here one must be very independent, capable and skilled! eating out is very expensive if one is planning to do it daily!

 

[renuka]

Dear Kunjs,

Cooking is one of the best things in life...I have no idea how some women dont mind maids doing the cooking.

I love to cook but I hate washing the dishes.

As Amala rightly said...I have noticed that in India people tend to have maids to cook for them at home.

Out here when I had my maid..I did not allow her to cook...cos another person might not kmow my personal taste and likes and dislikes and all the experiments of new dishes I might want to do.

I learnt cooking purely on my own and also partly becos my school had home science as an exam subject..so cooking and sewing were compulsory.

My mother did not teach me any cooking skills cos she cant stand anyone in the kitchen..so I learned cooking from cook books and by own trial and error after my mum had finished her cooking for the day.

But with my son...I am teaching him how to cook..I feel every person male or female need to learn how to cook.

I am not fond of eating out cos hotels and restaurants tend to use lesser grade trans fat laden oils and outside food is too high in calories..sometimes even when I travel locally I cook my own food and bring it along with me instead of eating out.

I also am not fond of eating in others houses...so I generally prefer my own cooking.

BTW Kunjs,

The food I prepared today for my lunch is stir fried wild rice with carrots/corn/capsicum/mustard greens and tofu topped with black olives and avocado.

 

[vgane]

Have you heard of this...A traditional cook who is famous for the Thanjavur type dishes once went to Singapore as a cook to a Tambrahm house

She was expecting preparation of Avial, Mor Kootu, Usili and the likes...

There she was not allowed to cook the traditional way...She was asked to half boil egetables add little bit salt & chilly...There ended the cooking

She felt so dejected after this...Despite getting her pay, she felt that she had not done justice to her cooking

Another Tamrahm family has Vegetable juice for breakfast, soup for dinner...Only lunch is elaborate with 2 dishes and rice or chappathi...& 2 biscuits with green leaf tea in the evening

Is starving or eating sparingly the healthy norm...

Understand Japanese, Chinese and Koraeans eat less and live longer

Dump elaborate cooking!

Ultimately whaever we eat we should enjoy the food for its taste...

Hope these spartans are able to do justice to this need!

 

[kunjuppu]

..
The food I prepared today for my lunch is stir fried wild rice with carrots/corn/capsicum/mustard greens and tofu topped with black olives and avocado.

what sauce did you use to flavour it?

did you half cook the rice or fully cook it?

 

[renuka]

what sauce did you use to flavour it?

did you half cook the rice or fully cook it?

Dear Kunjs,

Wild rice has a distinct nutty flavor and hard texture...you actually need to soak it at least 1 hour before you cook it to get a softer feel..I usually soak it overnight.

I did not use any sauce to flavor it..I blended some tomatoes as used it as the base along with some chili paste.

 

[renuka]

Have you heard of this...A traditional cook who is famous for the Thanjavur type dishes once went to Singapore as a cook to a Tambrahm house

She was expecting preparation of Avial, Mor Kootu, Usili and the likes...

There she was not allowed to cook the traditional way...She was asked to half boil egetables add little bit salt & chilly...There ended the cooking

She felt so dejected after this...Despite getting her pay, she felt that she had not done justice to her cooking

Another Tamrahm family has Vegetable juice for breakfast, soup for dinner...Only lunch is elaborate with 2 dishes and rice or chappathi...& 2 biscuits with green leaf tea in the evening

Is starving or eating sparingly the healthy norm...

Understand Japanese, Chinese and Koraeans eat less and live longer

Dump elaborate cooking!

Ultimately whaever we eat we should enjoy the food for its taste...

Hope these spartans are able to do justice to this need!

Dear Sir,

Many of us on weekdays do simple cooking and keep the traditional stuff for special occasions.

my sample menu

Morning: Goat's milk blended with mango..a Goat's milk mango shake.


Lunch: A simple wild rice dish with all vegetables tossed in with some tofu/olives/avacado

Tea time: A green apple or Orange or Grapes with nuts taken with some hot beverage like horlicks.

Dinner: Oats with Chia seeds and dates mixed with milk.


Only on weekends when get the time...cook some traditional stuff...But friday is Thayir Sadam day for me!

 

[auh]

I think it is just a matter of convenience, for the most part.

 

[tbs]

hi sir,
i saw the complete episode just now...i think the same way as sri sa tamizh selvan said.....kitchen is best place for LOVE....

before marriage beach/theatre/kovil may be the place for love....but after marriage...the reality comes...so no time/energy

to visit places....so the BEST PLACE IS KITCHEN FOR REAL LOVE.....

 

[auh]

Also, such shows are pretty much orchestrated (and so is arattai arangam), but I dont decry them for being so, as after all they have a job to do, of that of massaging the peoples' minds, sometimes invigourating, and sometimes to relax a sore muscle, with a dainty dose of spices mixed here and there.

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Sir,

Many of us on weekdays do simple cooking and keep the traditional stuff for special occasions.

my sample menu

Morning: Goat's milk blended with mango..a Goat's milk mango shake.


Lunch: A simple wild rice dish with all vegetables tossed in with some tofu/olives/avacado

Tea time: A green apple or Orange or Grapes with nuts taken with some hot beverage like horlicks.

Dinner: Oats with Chia seeds and dates mixed with milk.


Only on weekends when get the time...cook some traditional stuff...But friday is Thayir Sadam day for me!

The same daily for your Son too? OR the above is only Renuka exclusive special diet meal?

 

[C RAVI]

hi sir,
i saw the complete episode just now...i think the same way as sri sa tamizh selvan said.....kitchen is best place for LOVE....

before marriage beach/theatre/kovil may be the place for love....but after marriage...the reality comes...so no time/energy

to visit places....so the BEST PLACE IS KITCHEN FOR REAL LOVE.....

Provided couple don't mess up with food stuff while indulging in Real Love in kitchen

 

[renuka]

The same daily for your Son too? OR the above is only Renuka exclusive special diet meal?

Dear Ravi,

My son is a teenager...so his menu is different...a growing teen needs to eat much more.

Semi Oldie like me does not need to eat so much.

This is my menu..my husbands menu is different too cos his choice of food tends to differ with me at times.
He loves steamed food.

My husband handles his own menu on weekdays...only on weekends when I have the time I cook elaborate traditional meals for husband too.

 

[P.J.]

Most parts of Tamil Nadu have only three different types of climate throughout the year; hot, hotter, hottest.
Power cut is very erratic, ranging from 2 hours to 12 hours with occasional unscheduled power cuts.
Travel by any type of transport for work is a punishment, more in the case of public transports.
Unlike US/UK, many are to work 6 days a week, more than 8 to 10 hours, and very few workplaces have AC.

Even software Engineers put up more than 12-14 hours of work, Doctors doing Night shifts in hospitals return home only after 10 am in the morning.

Schools have advanced their timings to avoid children boarding crowded buses; and many parents can not afford to pay for the School bus; children are to be given breakfast/ lunch as many Schools do not provide free quality lunch to the students.
In such cases, there is a necessity to engage some sort of help when there is no elderly help is available.


There was a time when even pickles were home made, and nowadays very few homes make their own; same is the case with Vadam, Appalam, Idly Dosa Batter, and Different types of Powders like Sambar / Rasam Powders etc.

One can get quality Idly/Dosa batter from Nilgiris shops.

Many supply quality dishes at the door step, when ever required.

This is a matter of convenience, when both husband and wife are working and there is no elderly support in home, there is nothing wrong in engaging in some sort of help for cooking, apart from cleaning the house.

There are places where only during specific timings; say for an hour only, Corporation water is released to household purpose.

The ladies who were against engaging any domestic help is talking like MIL, and one lady had even threatening her husband that she can even poison him; few were repeatedly given chance to speak, and they seem to be dump enough to understand other’s problem.

Every home has a different set up, different needs, kids at different ages; women working in various professions have different set up, they all need some sort of help to their daily routine; there is nothing wrong in engaging a help for this.

We can not compare women working in hot climates like Chennai with those working in UK/US where flexible timings are possible.

 

[prasad1]

Mr. PJji,
Well written post#14
http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/genera...e-live-her-life-neeya-naana-2.html#post194641

 

[amala]

Wow looking at all the exotic food, I must have the boringest menu ever . I made dal (rajma) pudalangai and mulangi dry curry (separately) and meal maker (soya) gravy with brown basmati rice yesterday. Loads for today so not cooking! The other day I made poha upma (puffed rice) and previously poori. I'm feeling very very unhealthy right now! :sad:

 

[amala]

Also, such shows are pretty much orchestrated (and so is arattai arangam), but I dont decry them for being so, as after all they have a job to do, of that of massaging the peoples' minds, sometimes invigourating, and sometimes to relax a sore muscle, with a dainty dose of spices mixed here and there.

Exactly my thoughts. They are for the most part orchestrated, which i think is "cheating". How nice if it was kept real and spontanoues. I guess even the giving out the gifts at the end Gopinath and others have pre planned whom to give.

 

[kunjuppu]

i would go along with the changing attitudes towards the ownership of the kitchen and its activities.

to my mother's generation, it was not only a source of pride, but also a source of 'control' of sorts. i did not live at home since young, but i remember growing up, the great effort taken, to cook food to suit the differing palates of the family members.

clearly, starting from my generation onwards, menfolks to the best of my knowledge, including tambram men, especially outside of india, as a rule, have been part of the kitchen. i know guys here in toronto, who cook regularly, and that too only our food. and the wives dont mind or are such bad cooks, that we hope it is the man who cooked when they invited us to their homes

i tend to go along thamzhselvan's views re women have been programmed for milleniums. while men could have catering as a profession, cooking at home was never an option.

with changing times and changing roles, today, it is not proper to assign any single function in an household to one gender. i think. my children, thanks to mrs K's shift work, never did know what was specific mommy roles and daddy roles. i was daddymummy and mrs K was mummydaddy. so fluid was the roles re care giving.

overall, i think, it has also freed men, from an overdependency on the spouse re feeding oneself. there is no sorrier site, than to see a 50 year old man, looking helpless and unable even to make a cup of coffee. let alone breakfast. we used to hear of such visitors from india, and much to the chagrin of the households here - the expectation of 4 full meals - coffee, morning breakfast, lunch, tiffin and dinner.. all too much for a lifestyle here. and now adays back in india too i think.

renu, yes mrs K is fond of wild rice. not me particularly. i notice you have chilly paste as your base in your stirfries. what is the heat generated in your stove top. personally we use an outside heavy duty portable gas top (40,000 BTU) which is perfect for stir fry - super flash heat, to sear the veggies, while leaving the flavour of the juices and the nutrients intact inside. stir fry cooking - china's gift to the world

wonder how many of us know, that cheenanchetti, is indeed the wok!!

 

[kunjuppu]

Exactly my thoughts. They are for the most part orchestrated, which i think is "cheating". How nice if it was kept real and spontanoues. I guess even the giving out the gifts at the end Gopinath and others have pre planned whom to give.

it is an entertainment show amala. i heard, the real show is twice as long, and is editted for TV viewing. at times, many things are said, which can be liable or in bad taste. so the producers have to be careful, that the show is presentable, atleast to most of the public.

i would not call it 'cheating', as much as it is, 'presentation'.

though sometimes i think, gopi plays favourites. especially for whom he thinks are underdogs. but atleast on the show, he spouts very progressive views re caste and women - their empowerment, rights and development. i like him for that.

but this show, i think, he found stressful. never seen him so rattled.

 

[P.J.]

it is an entertainment show amala. i heard, the real show is twice as long, and is editted for TV viewing. at times, many things are said, which can be liable or in bad taste. so the producers have to be careful, that the show is presentable, atleast to most of the public.

i would not call it 'cheating', as much as it is, 'presentation'.

though sometimes i think, gopi plays favourites. especially for whom he thinks are underdogs. but atleast on the show, he spouts very progressive views re caste and women - their empowerment, rights and development. i like him for that.

but this show, i think, he found stressful. never seen him so rattled.

Kunjuppu Sir

did you notice one woman was telling that she can poison her Husband through food? how can such behavior is allowed in these types of public show? most of the old ladies talked as if they are the MIL of the young ones sitting on the other side ,I really wonder how they will react if their real daughters are sitting in the opposite side?

A lady teacher was pleading that by the time she finishes he tuition class , it is about 9 pm, hence she is engaging a cook to which these dump women group is protesting!!

If there is help, what is wrong in it? Most women who go for work are physically harassed in the Bus/ Train/Share auto; in the office they are mentally harassed.

Those big companies in IT fields just squeeze the blood out of their employees by asking them to work more than 14 to 16 hours a days, whether they are men or women because of targets.

Those working in Call centers, those working in Hospitals as nurses, Doctors, other employees, come very late in the morning.
There is nothing wrong in keeping some sort of help at home to cook, clean and other works.

In Chennai and other parts of TN, there is severe water Shortage and only an hour or so water through Pipes reach home; these women only have to plan for storing them other wise they will be without water.

Young married boys help their spouse as much as possible, but some of them have touring jobs, and they go out of station on site work/ client meeting etc etc.

These dump women sitting on the opposite have very narrow vision about how different families cope up with their set up.

Even Gopinath Sir was not realizing this to some extend.

 

[kunjuppu]

dear PJ

re #20 post, did you really believe about the 'poison' threat. i thought she was being facetious about it. but could be wrong.

i was more troubled by the mami, who insisted on waking up midnight to cook food fresh for her son. i shudder to imagine how his would be wife would be treated by this woman.

or by dr chandraprabha..another mother, with over care over her son. she did not appear to feel such for her daughter though, and even agreed that even though she was a doctor and educated her daughter well, the daughter did not know cooking and she would not compel her to learn the same.

then there was another old woman, who called divya (the open minded one) as having problems with her mind and body...i thought it was rude, and should have been censored.

 

[P.J.]

Yes , you are right Kunjuppu.
Same persons repeatedly given chance to speak, is boring to watch as they do not have any other points except how they do cooking.

 

[auh]

I wouldn't say neeya naana represents the real world opinion as a majority, yes, a glimpse perhaps.

One has to be selective about topics. Constructive topics offer some food for thought, while others are merely emotive, and are well ignored.

 

[vgane]

The episode bristles with exaggerations comouflaged with poetic streaks--

Sample this one..

A young lady said that as soon as she enters kitchen it looks as if each of the vegetables is requesting her to be cooked first..

Another middle age lady said that as soon as she enter kitchen she starts singing...

I have only seen coughing and sneezing in kitchen, not the singing variety

 

[renuka]

The episode bristles with exaggerations comouflaged with poetic streaks--

Sample this one..



Another middle age lady said that as soon as she enter kitchen she starts singing...

Dear Sir,

Some of us do sing songs in kitchen too!

Sample Songs:

1)Lingaasthkam

2)Krishnaasthakam

3)Bhajans

4)I want to break free by Freddie Mercury


List can go on...