Cost of conducting funeral rites

[A SUNDARARAMAN]

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I posted a mail few days back regarding the plight of a poor widow for conducting funeral rites for her husband who died recently, in Palghat. she was asked to pay Rs.20000/- by Purohits, for basic minimum rites and was warned that otherwise her husband's soul will not rest and will be wandering around her for her life time.

this post was not published - may be some purohit is the moderator of this forum?

a.sundararaman

 

[kunjuppu]

the post was indeed published. i remember reading it.

that is the reality of the market today. supply and demand working in its purest form. without a heart. without an iota of human feelings.

i feel sad for the widow, but she would be good to keep the money for her own future, considering that she has no children to take care of herself. and just pray to God, for her husband's soul. and find solace in reading religious books or whatever gives her comfort.

it is not her fault that she cannot afford the bills. she should not feel guilty over it. God Bless.

 

[Vaagmi]

I too feel sad for the widow. This brings to my mind my memories of my paternal grandma's elder sister. This happened in the earlier part of the 20th century (1900-1920). She was very young -less than 20 years old-- and was living with her husband in Andhra. Did not have children. That man was a civil engineer who was working on some project in the Krishna River basin. He met with an accident and died. This lady was not very familiar with the area, people and language. She was just married an year back then. When she found the purohits making huge demands to conduct even the funeral rites, she got the body taken to the burial ground and performed the minimum last rites herself. Then she took a bath in the Krishna, returned home, packed up everything and took a train and came down to the southern Tirunelveli District to her home. The experience must have been very tough because she never spoke about it afterwards. She was always a picture of supreme maturity, ever willing to help people, very affectionate to the children and was living with minimum possessions (every thing she owned can be put inside a small cloth bag and tied up- we used to call it madi sanji) and could move from Tirunelveli to Trivandrum effortlessly by bus at just an hours notice. I learnt many values in life just by observing her. She was really a great woman.

As Kunjuppu has said, the market place is harsh. It is rather ruthless if you are poor and a woman too.

But then having born in this world we have to live. There is no escape. There are charitable trusts and volunteers who perform funeral rites free of cost to any one. But that is in Chennai. I do not know about Palghat.

 

[mskmoorthy]

Your article was published on 5th December
http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/rituals-ceremonies-pujas/14276-cost-conducting-funeral-rites.html

The threads of new posters are held for a day or two before released.
Please see this thread http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/news-announcements/12263-post-moderation-new-members.html
I hail (hailed) from New Kalpathy Palghat - But my information is all dated (at least 35 years old). There used to be elders of the village who used to help out (resolve) such cases. Things must have changed a great deal since then.

 

[sangom]

I posted a mail few days back regarding the plight of a poor widow for conducting funeral rites for her husband who died recently, in Palghat. she was asked to pay Rs.20000/- by Purohits, for basic minimum rites and was warned that otherwise her husband's soul will not rest and will be wandering around her for her life time.

this post was not published - may be some purohit is the moderator of this forum?

a.sundararaman

Shri Sundararaman,

Were those purohits belonging to brahmin varna? I am asking this question because many enlightened and honourable members of this Forum have, time and again, argued that brahmins are epitome of all Satvika gunas and they will never be greedy, they will be content to lead a simple life and so on.

If you have the time (and energy) you may search the archives.

 

[tbs]

hi
i like to say something more....abt 20 yrs back....in chennai....my maternal grand father died...my mother has 2 brothers/one sister....

my mother's sister's huband is a purohit in chennai....i e my chithappa....my 2 uncles refused to do final rites of my maternal

grand father's death ritual and my chithi' s husband demanded a huge amount for funeral.....so my mother rejected her

own brothers demand/ her own sister's husband's money demand....finally she did herself funeral cermony without purohit....

its sad..but it is reality of modern world with extended family relationship.....my mother is very brave lady.....she widowed

in her 20's.......

 

[prasad1]

I too feel sad for the widow.
Mr. Mskmoorty is right
http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/general-discussions/14321-cost-conducting-funeral-rites.html#post218611

your post was also posted and had 7 views. If you had done some search you would have seen it. This is an open forum, people choose to respond depending on their interest.
Cost of conducting funeral ritesRate this Entry
0 Comments
by A SUNDARARAMAN , Today at 01:16 AM (7 Views)

Some disgruntled people are using every thread to bash-brahmins and are particularly happy for this opportunity and every other.
These people have been on this site long enough to use the "search" option of the site. The senior person was not helpful to the poster in any way.
Mr. Vaagmi's post was more helpful

But then having born in this world we have to live. There is no escape. There are charitable trusts and volunteers who perform funeral rites free of cost to any one. But that is in Chennai. I do not know about Palghat.

No need to bring CASTE into every post.

Mr. Suderaraman your comment

this post was not published - may be some purohit is the moderator of this forum?

is spiteful. The moderator is providing you a free service, don't kick him

You Can Catch More “Yes’” With Honey Than With Vinegar

 

[prasad1]

Talk with local NGO's
The Seva Bharati is a non-governmental organization (NGO) in India. It works especially among the economically weaker sections and the tribal and indigenous communities in India. It runs thousands of service projects across India in the field of education, health care, rural development and rehabilitation of differently abled and special needs children.

 

[Vaagmi]

Shri Sundararaman,

Were those purohits belonging to brahmin varna? I am asking this question because many enlightened and honourable members of this Forum have, time and again, argued that brahmins are epitome of all Satvika gunas and they will never be greedy, they will be content to lead a simple life and so on.

If you have the time (and energy) you may search the archives.

That was digging up you know what. Now this is the answer to that:

1.The purohits obviously were brahmins.

2.The woman in my story was also a brahmin. A woman, despite minimum education and in the face of heavy odds had the guts and gumption to stand up to the purohits(she could have sold all her ornaments and succumbed to their pressure which she did not do) and, this is important, who never carried any victimhood grievances or residual hatred to purohits.

3.The number of volunteers who do free service in respect of poor and orphan dead persons are also brahmins.

4. The people who say they feel sad for the woman are all brahmins here.

5. The member who discovers a chance to hit fellow brahmins in this unfortunate episode is also a brahmin.

Now please work out the percentage of stinking bad apples in the basket. That will tell you a story.

No one ever said that all brahmins are angels. Please search the orchives carefully again.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

The most important question here is "How much does it cost to conduct the fumeral rites?"


Other than the purohits fees, it involves a number of materials which cost money.

Organizations which do free service do only Cremation. I do not think they offer free rites.

The warning was given to the Widow because that is what the Brahmins in general believe.

A purohit is a trained Professional who has to earn a living.


In Kerala it is almost impossible to get electricians, carpenters, Plumbers. If we want a Plumber we have to pay him one days wage, a new shirt and provide conveyance to and fro. (25 years back) This was nothing but extortion. But people put up with it because you can not mange without a Plumber.


The Purohits are at a disadvantage because, you can easily manage without their services. Most people do.


If you can not afford a purohit do not engage one, and be prepared to suffer the consequences if any.


But do not expect the purohit to do free work for you. Why should he? When everyone gets paid for their services, why should he alone do free work? Because he is born a Brahmin?

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Did the Vettiyan burn the corpse free because she is a Widow?

 

[Naina_Marbus]

That was digging up you know what. Now this is the answer to that:
....snipped...
Now please work out the percentage of stinking bad apples in the basket. That will tell you a story.

Good repartee!

 

[Vaagmi]

Refer to post #10:

A purohit is a trained Professional who has to earn a living.

A trained professional, a doctor, treats a patient free when he understands that the patient has no money to pay and even offers his sample medicines free of cost to the patient. A professional is supposed to have integrity.

In Kerala it is almost impossible to get electricians, carpenters, Plumbers. If we want a Plumber we have to pay him one days wage, a new shirt and provide conveyance to and fro. (25 years back) This was nothing but extortion. But people put up with it because you can not mange without a Plumber.

In kerala the story lines are always beautifully different. They have a different set of justification for what they do. If you argue they will quote the economic theory and tell you that labour is a perishable commodity and that their loss in dealing in that commodity is substantial. To crown it all they will tell you that their demand is nothing but the dictatorship of the proletariat. That is enough justification and you will go mad plucking your hair.

The Purohits are at a disadvantage because, you can easily manage without their services. Most people do. If you can not afford a purohit do not engage one, and be prepared to suffer the consequences if any. But do not expect the purohit to do free work for you. Why should he? When everyone gets paid for their services, why should he alone do free work? Because he is born a Brahmin?

It is like going to the barber. If the barber demands one lakh rupees for giving you a haircut, what will be your reaction? You can not do without a haircut and a barber is the person who can give you that service. So every one should expect their efforts to be compensated adequately. Just adequately. Purohit included.

 

[Vaagmi]

Did the Vettiyan burn the corpse free because she is a Widow?

I really do not know. I never asked her this. But knowing herI can say this. She would have paid him his normal charges. If he too had behaved like the purohits she might have bought a tin of kerosene and done the job herself. She was that kind of a lady. LOL.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I really do not know. I never asked her this. But knowing herI can say this. She would have paid him his normal charges. If he too had behaved like the purohits she might have bought a tin of kerosene and done the job herself. She was that kind of a lady. LOL.

You can not do it. Without paying the vettiyan whatever he wants, you can not do anything. You can not even move the body away from the Smasanam.

 

[A SUNDARARAMAN]

This is in response to the gentleman who asked the question - 'Did the vettiyan burn the corpse free because she was a poor widow?". YES, he did. The cremation was on 30 Nov 13.

The dead person was retired from private service long back, had meagre belongings. was doing social service mostly and generally liked by the people in the street where he resided. On his death the people organized themselves for the funeral and the rites through a purohit who quoted hefty fees, mostly towards 'dhanam's. As the widow couldnt afford the demand she also advised the organizing people that it is exorbitant and not to pay the hefty demand. However, they collected some amount among themselves and took the body to the cremation ground. There, a non-purohit brahmin chanted the mantras and lit the funeral pyre (the deadman had no children or close relatives). After knowing the background history of the dead person the official people at the funeral ghat refused to accept any payment towards firewood etc.,

 

[Vaagmi]

You can not do it. Without paying the vettiyan whatever he wants, you can not do anything. You can not even move the body away from the Smasanam.

No. I come from an area where extreme problems have met with extreme solutions. This happened in my village once. A particular family was ostracised (not a brahmin family). When a member of this family died, there were no one to carry the body to the smasan. The son of the dead person very politely requested the members of the village to forget all that had happened and requested for help to conduct the funeral. When refused despite repeated requests and advices by mature folks, the son took the body out, placed it in the middle of the street, brought a tin of kerosene and was about to burn the body. He had just a sickle with him, showing which he threatened to use it if any one dared prevent him. He was serious about every word he said.Then good sense prevailed with the adamant village folk. They quietly came took the body to the smasan and left it there for the funeral pyre to be lit by the son.

 

[wrongan]

This is in response to the gentleman who asked the question - 'Did the vettiyan burn the corpse free because she was a poor widow?". YES, he did. The cremation was on 30 Nov 13.

The dead person was retired from private service long back, had meagre belongings. was doing social service mostly and generally liked by the people in the street where he resided. On his death the people organized themselves for the funeral and the rites through a purohit who quoted hefty fees, mostly towards 'dhanam's. As the widow couldnt afford the demand she also advised the organizing people that it is exorbitant and not to pay the hefty demand. However, they collected some amount among themselves and took the body to the cremation ground. There, a non-purohit brahmin chanted the mantras and lit the funeral pyre (the deadman had no children or close relatives). After knowing the background history of the dead person the official people at the funeral ghat refused to accept any payment towards firewood etc.,

There are exceptions please do not genaralise.

 

[krish44]

The most important question here is "How much does it cost to conduct the fumeral rites?"


Other than the purohits fees, it involves a number of materials which cost money.

Organizations which do free service do only Cremation. I do not think they offer free rites.

The warning was given to the Widow because that is what the Brahmins in general believe.

A purohit is a trained Professional who has to earn a living.


In Kerala it is almost impossible to get electricians, carpenters, Plumbers. If we want a Plumber we have to pay him one days wage, a new shirt and provide conveyance to and fro. (25 years back) This was nothing but extortion. But people put up with it because you can not mange without a Plumber.


The Purohits are at a disadvantage because, you can easily manage without their services. Most people do.


If you can not afford a purohit do not engage one, and be prepared to suffer the consequences if any.


But do not expect the purohit to do free work for you. Why should he? When everyone gets paid for their services, why should he alone do free work? Because he is born a Brahmin?

cost of funerals and weddings are becoming prohibitively expensive. since purohits are mostly brahmins there is a need for self regulation from the community for cost control. and there needs to be some guidelines so that there is no fleecing.I know many cases in delhi where family opt for north indian priests or do away with ceremonies and opt for electric crematorium unable to put up with south brahmin priests. who decide if they will perform the ceremonies to oblige you.

 

[krish44]

After reading all the posts regarding funeral rites and pathetic experiences of general public ,the changes which have quietly taken place among tambrahm in north india are
1 go to electric crematorium after fixing an appointment
2 do away with south indian tambrahm priests and engage north indian priest on cremation day at electric crematoriums for a nominal fees
3 have a memorial meeting at a nearby hall to remember the dead
4 forget about the other rituals and donate to charity of choice
even for yearly ceremonies donation to nearby temple for remembering the dead is becoming commonplace

 

[prasad1]

This is in response to the gentleman who asked the question - 'Did the vettiyan burn the corpse free because she was a poor widow?". YES, he did. The cremation was on 30 Nov 13.

The dead person was retired from private service long back, had meagre belongings. was doing social service mostly and generally liked by the people in the street where he resided. On his death the people organized themselves for the funeral and the rites through a purohit who quoted hefty fees, mostly towards 'dhanam's. As the widow couldnt afford the demand she also advised the organizing people that it is exorbitant and not to pay the hefty demand. However, they collected some amount among themselves and took the body to the cremation ground. There, a non-purohit brahmin chanted the mantras and lit the funeral pyre (the deadman had no children or close relatives). After knowing the background history of the dead person the official people at the funeral ghat refused to accept any payment towards firewood etc.,

There are good people in every society. You just have to find the resources. Thanks for the post.

 

[kunjuppu]

This is in response to the gentleman who asked the question - 'Did the vettiyan burn the corpse free because she was a poor widow?". YES, he did. The cremation was on 30 Nov 13.

The dead person was retired from private service long back, had meagre belongings. was doing social service mostly and generally liked by the people in the street where he resided. On his death the people organized themselves for the funeral and the rites through a purohit who quoted hefty fees, mostly towards 'dhanam's. As the widow couldnt afford the demand she also advised the organizing people that it is exorbitant and not to pay the hefty demand. However, they collected some amount among themselves and took the body to the cremation ground. There, a non-purohit brahmin chanted the mantras and lit the funeral pyre (the deadman had no children or close relatives). After knowing the background history of the dead person the official people at the funeral ghat refused to accept any payment towards firewood etc.,

God Bless!!

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Society in general is always ready to condemn the Brahmin Purohits and Priests. The Brahmin community treats them very badly. They are called greedy and exploitative.


It is only sheer poverty and lack of other opportunities which makes a Brahmin take to these professions.


I always advise my friends to give up these professions.


I will be very happy when there are no Purohits or temple priests from the Brahmin Community.


One member had compared them to Barbers. 12 years of education in a Veda Patasahala makes you the social equivalent of a barber in the eyes of a Brahmin.


The purohits and priests are treated with more respect by the non-Brahmins.


I believe that no Brahmin should take up the profession of purohit and temple priest.

 

[krish44]

Society in general is always ready to condemn the Brahmin Purohits and Priests. The Brahmin community treats them very badly. They are called greedy and exploitative.


It is only sheer poverty and lack of other opportunities which makes a Brahmin take to these professions.


I always advise my friends to give up these professions.


I will be very happy when there are no Purohits or temple priests from the Brahmin Community.


One member had compared them to Barbers. 12 years of education in a Veda Patasahala makes you the social equivalent of a barber in the eyes of a Brahmin.


The purohits and priests are treated with more respect by the non-Brahmins.


I believe that no Brahmin should take up the profession of purohit and temple priest.

I understand the rigorous training these priest undergo in veda pathshaala.
my grouse against them is they do not practise their profession as per expectations of the community in terms of punctuality in conducting functions,living upto commitments made for executing their functions and their attempts to fleece the gullible in the name of religion
ther are no lack of oppurtunities . probably you have no idea how much archakas get paid in temples in north and how affluent vadhyars who take up assignmentsfor funeral and marriages make . It is a matter of supply and demand . the few vadhyars in delhi are virtually holding the community to ransom

 

[tbs]

Society in general is always ready to condemn the Brahmin Purohits and Priests. The Brahmin community treats them very badly. They are called greedy and exploitative.


It is only sheer poverty and lack of other opportunities which makes a Brahmin take to these professions.


I always advise my friends to give up these professions.


I will be very happy when there are no Purohits or temple priests from the Brahmin Community.


One member had compared them to Barbers. 12 years of education in a Veda Patasahala makes you the social equivalent of a barber in the eyes of a Brahmin.


The purohits and priests are treated with more respect by the non-Brahmins.


I believe that no Brahmin should take up the profession of purohit and temple priest.

hi nachi sir,

I believe that no Brahmin should take up the profession of purohit and temple priest.

yes i agreed with u..........im from veda patasala student....i know many my collegues as purohits....some are temple priests too....

i escaped and became teacher/army life...its not for every veda patasala student...ONLY OPTION OTHER THAN PUROHIT....

HOTEL WORKERS/ COOKS......they cant be IT/any other decent professions.....i know pain of purohits/cooks in brahmin

community.....so what is the solution.....we can do shaving...but we cant do hair cutting by self.....in chennai

city like......i prefer like beasant nagar electric crematorium....do some minimum kriyas in rameswaram.....if possible a small

dhanam to orphanage children....its my personal opinion...i may be wrong...