Dealing with Brahmin girl attracted towards white boy

[Rangarajan Tnc]

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Do you think your statement is an insult or is it praise?
What Kamala Harris achieved as a Black/ Asian woman is marvelous. She shattered many glass ceilings.
It is a reason to be a proud American Girl of color today.

But I admire (sic) your profound ignorance and the audacity to show it in public.

Secondly, you are mistaken (that is too mildly put). This young girl if she marries a Non-TB should be compared to Shyamala Gopalan and not Kamala.

Let me ask you simply did your daughter become the VP of the USA?

Agreed - "This young girl if she marries a Non-TB should be compared to Shyamala Gopalan".

 

[Rangarajan Tnc]

@sun244 Hello sir, I'll tell how I would have approached this situation:-

1. First talk to the parents and find out why they are against the idea of their daughter dating a white boy. Find out the core reason. Is it because:

a. They're afraid of what others would say.
b. Daughters future.
c. Hindu values.

If we analyze/deconstruct further:-


1.They're afraid of what others would say.

This stems from an idea of a belonging to one particular group. Although the parents are not orthodox, they still haven't renounced their membership with the clan. They've just stayed away for sometime for personal benefits. Should they continue with their identifying with some group or not is their call, but one thing is clear, they do not have the rights now to control their daughters choice. If they themselves haven't subscribed to one way of life, don't expect your daughter to tow your line. So, check with the parents.

2. Daughters future

Genuine reason. Dating at 18 and maybe getting pregnant or ending up being a single mother is a sure recipe to screwing up ones life. No parent would want it to happen to their children. So what's the Alternative?...either teach the daughter about safe methods of having physical relations.( hope they don't, but just in case they do). Or convince the daughter to hold still till marriage.

One can't tame biology, such things are bound to happens and in a free country like America, one cannot expect to control or impose upon the other

c. Hindu values

I don't think, this is in the priority item for them. You said, they weren't traditional, so I don't think the daughter would have imbibed any values either.

They need to realize that , they may be Indian at heart with roots rooted in India, hence they can walk away for sometime and still come back but their kid is an American(assuming she was brought up there). No matter what they say and cry, she will never understand what it means to be an Indian or a Hindu unless she's been brought up that way. So, there's no point going down that road.

I suggest them to sit with their daughter and find out reasons over why she feels so, what she is seeing in her future etc. Sit and talk, introspect ans then decide...

Is dating a white boy bad??--->No
If bad--->find out why.
Should u talk to the girl---> Damn yes
Introduce to the girl about Sex, Marriage, culture, religion, ancestry--->Darnn yesss.

So ask them to have a proper dialogue with the young lady, rather than worry. Worrying only worsens the situation.

Do all of this one step at a time and then decide.

Parents will have a lot of priorities to be set here, some like

Race--Indian vs white
Culture--American vs Indian
Religion/Spirituality--Theirs vs daughter
Happiness---Theirs vs daughter.

This is just a coming of age issue. So, a proper dialogue would be enough to solve unless of course if the kid is'nt woke!!

On the other hand, why not think from her situation. She wants to be with the chosen person. Her mind has been made up. Any input contra is unwelcome and perhaps motivated to change her mind. It is a tussle between her current wish and the wishes of the family and friends. She is going to do what she wants anyway. At the end of he life will she regret it? Even is she does, will she disclose it? A girl, I know from a very orthodox family, who used to recite slokas and sing carnatic music, eloped with a Muslim boy and she came to show us her baby for our blessings. She was in a burqa and has changed her name and her baby is also naturally named alien to her parents. Her husband dropped her near our house and refused to visit us, though he knows that we are absolutely neutral and only affection for the girl. We did not ask her anything because I felt that she will not be able to open her mind. I felt that she has basically shifted from one regimen to another and has no will of her own in reality. Just fate I suppose!

 

[indianassault]

People fundamentally are of two types. One who thinks that pleasure is important and the other who thinks discipline is important. Nature has designed these two types as orthogonal and let them both evolve in their own ways. So neither can be said to be the right one.

It is not surprising that some brahmin girls who are supposedly spiritual are attracted to white boys. But there can be materialistic brahmin girls and spiritual white boys. So if the compatibility is there at the inner level attraction happens. Also this being a kali yuga materialism is hugely preferred over spirituality, so even really spiritual girls can get attracted to white boys.

Lets

People fundamentally are of two types. One who thinks that pleasure is important and the other who thinks discipline is important. Nature has designed these two types as orthogonal and let them both evolve in their own ways. So neither can be said to be the right one.

It is not surprising that some brahmin girls who are supposedly spiritual are attracted to white boys. But there can be materialistic brahmin girls and spiritual white boys. So if the compatibility is there at the inner level attraction happens. Also this being a kali yuga materialism is hugely preferred over spirituality, so even really spiritual girls can get attracted to white boys.

Lets hope the balance is restored.

And on a different note,many people get attracted to white woman. Got nothing to do with spirituality ir materialusm. While tamil cinema industry would agree surely.

 

[indianassault]

Absolutely retarded thread your genetic history would be lost and your future grandkids would be mutts and not brahmins wow what a way to thank your ancestors when your daughter is being a slut and having gang bangs with white men wow i don't know what else to say you guys have lost it in next two generations your offsprings wouldn't be the tamil brahmins that you are and your thousands of years old culture would die a painful death and you will not even receive shraddh ghor kalyug...as a north indian brahmin i am telling you it's the same in India where most of the brahmin dads are weaklings who have no control over their daughters and their daughters go around marrying either shudras or muslims or whites if abroad ...when she can't find a white guy to marry her after having fucked 150 guys for 8 years (your average priya hits on a random white guy on tinder every weekend and considers it an accomplishment) and now when she has hit the wall she will start searching for some uber rich NRI brahmin guy (might aswel be your son) for a secure future and after marriage will cuck him and thrive on alimony and maintenance and there is a good chance that she got preggo not by her husband because i know how common it is. Brahmins have failed to raise daughters and it's over. Beyond repair. Your great heritage can kiss goodbye to your brahminism because you have all failed to raise daughters by letting them procreate with a mlecch and how did i forget most of your daughters already eat beef. Just a perspective from young 20 year old brahmin guy... Mods please don't flag this and let this be out because what i have mentioned is actually all true and this is a serious threat to us brahmins the longer you ignore this the more will be the consequences and brahmins need to have a spine otherwise it will be too late when you will realize what you 've lost. Jai parshuram.

Please. I m reading the deivathun kural compiled in english. Periyava says brahmins deserted thier dharma and left to cities in dearch of money and luxury, seeing which other communities slso satrted doing it. So we are equally ti blame rathef than our kids. I see only jealisy in ur post and baseless hatred and assumptions

 

[JaiParshuram]

Please. I m reading the deivathun kural compiled in english. Periyava says brahmins deserted thier dharma and left to cities in dearch of money and luxury, seeing which other communities slso satrted doing it. So we are equally ti blame rathef than our kids. I see only jealisy in ur post and baseless hatred and assumptions

What i meant is that brahmins need to control their daughters and have a spine. I am also a brahmin living abroad and none of that is baseless the only difference is that i am young and of the same age group as your kids and have better idea about what's actually going on and can easily tell what appears to be inevitable in future

 

[Raji Ram]

Kya Galiyaan? Aap Brahmana??

How can you use such words about someone's daughter being a slut and gang bang etc saying she F****d150 guys?
And you dare end your post by Jai Parashurama?Seriously??

The post was started by concerned people who wanted some help and you have no right to spew such language and call people as mutts(dogs)/sluts etc.

If you belong to the Gangs of Wasseypur and have never used your grey matter kindly learn to use refined language to get your point across.

I totally agree with you, Renu!

 

[Rangarajan Tnc]

This is what Sri Swaminathan Iyer says:
My generation loosened the shackles of religion. My elder brother married a Sikh, my younger brother married a Christian, and I married a Parsi. The next generation of my children has gone a step further. It has married across the globe.
Globalisation for me is not just the movement of goods and capital, or even of Aiyars. It is a step towards Lennon’s vision of no country. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope one day you’ll join us. And the world will be one.

My family and other globalisers - Swaminomics – Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar

In 1992, I wrote a book titled "Towards Globalisation." I did not realize at the time that this was going to be the history of my family. Last week we

swaminomics.org

 

[praveen]

Cleaned up the thread. While there is a freedom of expression, please be civil in your language. We are a family friendly website and def. do not want any legal issues because of this.

 

[renuka]

What i meant is that brahmins need to control their daughters and have a spine. I am also a brahmin living abroad and none of that is baseless the only difference is that i am young and of the same age group as your kids and have better idea about what's actually going on and can easily tell what appears to be inevitable in future

what about the sons? Guys dont need to be controlled?

 

[Rangarajan Tnc]

Actually guys are spineless and totally controlled by some woman from birth to death - grandmother, mother, sisters, aunts, wife, daughters. He can't even deny this without permission!

 

[tbs]

what about the sons? Guys dont need to be controlled?

hi renu...

in brahmins...boys have separate rules and girls have separate rules....just example...what our previous generation

did to the girls during monthly times....a total segragation life.....now living in one room apartment with whole

family...no segregation anymore...total freedom in cities/metros.....KAALATHIN KATTAAAYAM...LOL

 

[renuka]

hi renu...

in brahmins...boys have separate rules and girls have separate rules....just example...what our previous generation

did to the girls during monthly times....a total segragation life.....now living in one room apartment with whole

family...no segregation anymore...total freedom in cities/metros.....KAALATHIN KATTAAAYAM...LOL

that's good but men even as young as 20 still want to tell fathers to control their daughters.

No wonder its so hard for a male to thread any religious path and they struggle the most! Its becos they can't let go of women.
They are obsessed with the idea of woman in wanting to own them or to control them or imagining about them...even Bhajo Govindam has a verse telling men not to be attracted to females..this shows its men who has total lack of control yet they always want to control a woman!

These types need to do tapasya standing on their head for 1000 years so that blood supply goes to the brains to help their neurons function.

 

[prasad1]

What i meant is that brahmins need to control their daughters and have a spine. I am also a brahmin living abroad and none of that is baseless the only difference is that i am young and of the same age group as your kids and have better idea about what's actually going on and can easily tell what appears to be inevitable in future

I really do not think you understand it.
First of all, you are an immigrant, probably from an orthodox family from Tamil Nadu.
I bet your world view is very limited. You need experience or extraordinary intelligence to know the situation from all angles.

You might think that you know it all, but you are wrong.
We all speak with our limited knowledge, so have some humility.

 

[Rudra_Maha]

On the other hand, why not think from her situation. She wants to be with the chosen person. Her mind has been made up. Any input contra is unwelcome and perhaps motivated to change her mind. It is a tussle between her current wish and the wishes of the family and friends. She is going to do what she wants anyway. At the end of he life will she regret it? Even is she does, will she disclose it? A girl, I know from a very orthodox family, who used to recite slokas and sing carnatic music, eloped with a Muslim boy and she came to show us her baby for our blessings. She was in a burqa and has changed her name and her baby is also naturally named alien to her parents. Her husband dropped her near our house and refused to visit us, though he knows that we are absolutely neutral and only affection for the girl. We did not ask her anything because I felt that she will not be able to open her mind. I felt that she has basically shifted from one regimen to another and has no will of her own in reality. Just fate I suppose!

I do agree that her opinion should be sought. But we must also remember that, 18 is a fragile age. There are people still in their 60s clueless about what they've done with their life.

I understand, I should not be making a sweeping generalization, but I dont know the girl or her background, hence im taking a general case scenario.

One can't let a teen take crucial decisions. Its akin to a monkey handling a gun. It only wrecks havoc.

Which is why I insist on the parents of the girl who themselves have crossed life after going through such phases of infatuation and love to sit and talk, rather than worry. Once a connect is established, things will fall in place.

Regarding the example you mentioned about the girl, its a sorry case. I have no opinions on marrying anyone but issues arise when one changes faith and identity just for the sake of love, sex or marriage. That's where it becomes cheap. I've seen many such cases in my own sphere and most are a result of them being big ignoramuses about their own culture, family, low self esteem and lack of guidance provided. Such things are always bond to happen. Its up to us to learn and adapt accordingly.

Leaving everything to fate only demeans the importance of Karma/action. Despite our actions, if things override, then its OK, but to leave things to Fatalism is surely fatal.

 

[a-TB]

The advice here may or may not be able to help the original query. But it does expose poster's own character (positive or negative) ........