Educated moms have fewer kids, reveals Census

[navy-eswaran]

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Dear Renu,

We will pamper the only child . But, when he grows up and settles in the U S of A,

his better half will make him 50% of her house maid!

the only way to get past this situation is to educate the male child about sharing and caring.
(i belong to this category )

 

[navy-eswaran]

hi
all parents should understand that their children are entitled to live a life of their own. so we should educate them teach, them culture and let them fly. every animal does it. but we are not freeing our children from bondage till death(our). i have a recent example where a well settled son was forced to return to look after his (physically able ) father!!.At middle age the guy wont be getting a decent job here. this old guy will croak sometime and the son is going to suffer till his end.
do we want that? all parents should do some soul searching and take a decision. Kadamai-should not be misused to spoil the future.

 

[renuka]

hi

the problem is woman's ego.......the woman wants S IN LAW should help daughter....but reverse is not acceptable,,,,becoz she

thinks his son is maid....these thinkings are very common in many tambram homes.....another reason....when todays

mother in law was yesterdays daughter in law....SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI....she never got any help from her

husband.....so she does not like his son would be a 50% maid...its history in many homes...

This sort of thinking wont be of any use and the cycle of "torture" continues.

I remember when I was an intern, me and other interns were "tortured" by our senior staff.

At times some of us wished we had a gun so that we could shoot these senior staff and burn their bodies!LOL

I wanted this cycle of torture to end...therefore when I became a senior staff myself I made it a point to guide the junior interns kindly and nicely so that they learned up fast and I also told them how to deal with some irritating andropausal egoistic @#$%& consultants.

I felt having undergone all these "torture" myself the best I could do is not let another person suffer the same.

But not everyone thought like me...some of them felt since they underwent torture themselves why let others have an easy way out and they started torturing the juniors.


I feel any right thinking person would not let others suffer just becos they suffered.

I feel usually no 2 females really get along...even most sisters in real life do not really tolerate each other.

So its always better for a MIL and DIL to be diplomatic and stay at a comfortable distance

 

[krish44]

I am just curious. How many men here were in labour room in hospital when their wives delivered?

What do you think of of girls father/mother who pushes son in law into labour room while staying outside in hospital.Normally I understand only one member -husband or

mother of girl is permitted inside the labour room to watch delivery in india

 

[krish44]

Most educated working TB girls mouth gender equality and justice and make their husbands do menial jobs home. They also treat their own mothers as servants ordering

them to look after their new born kids saving on expenses on servants /maids to look after their child after delivery.In fact most of them ill treat their husbands calling

husbands from office to change nappies of child and make them also have sleepless nights managing the kid . Education has only made these women enjoying the

maternity leave to only eat more and become unrecognisable in few months.I pity the husbands and mother of educated working TB girls who are in maternity cycle.

 

[vgane]

Dear Ganesh,
You will be surprised to know that there is one guy in my extended family who is not assisting his wife in household chores! :couch2:

And they too live in the U S of A. Lucky hubby! :thumb:

In USA there is no alternative to hard work at home due to absence of maids..One has to do cleaning, mopping, gardening , washing, pressing & cooking without any outside help...Only for deep cleaning once in 2-3 months you can arrange external consultants

 

[Raji Ram]

the only way to get past this situation is to educate the male child about sharing and caring.
(i belong to this category )

There is no need to teach! Once in the U S of A for higher studies, the boys learn house keeping and

take turns to cook for the inmates in their apartment. This is theory of survival.

But I was surprised to see the girl in our extended family, who doesn't allow her hubby to do household chores.

She is working in a school as hence has a proper routine. :thumb:

 

[Raji Ram]

............. Every mother should feel happy if they have a son that helps his wife. ....

Very true, Renu! Hence I am a happy mother!

 

[Raji Ram]

Most educated working TB girls mouth gender equality and justice and make their husbands do menial jobs home. They also treat their own mothers as servants ordering

them to look after their new born kids saving on expenses on servants /maids to look after their child after delivery.In fact most of them ill treat their husbands calling

husbands from office to change nappies of child and make them also have sleepless nights managing the kid . Education has only made these women enjoying the

maternity leave to only eat more and become unrecognisable in few months.I pity the husbands and mother of educated working TB girls who are in maternity cycle.

Dear Krish Sir,

Not many girls; a few of them ONLY. Yes, I have seen this sort of arrogance in a few girls. :spy:

But most of the mothers and mothers in law go to help, whether the girl goes for work or not.

 

[krish44]

Specially the types that return to india after a few years in US/canada.

Since domestic helps are not available or expensive abroad, most boys end up helping wives home sharing work.

When these return , even if wives sit home without job, they expect their husbands to continue what they have been trained for -ie. sharing the home work.

I know boys who rush home to feed their kids at lunch time as according to their wives the kid would eat only if fed by father.lol

These wives say that they would not like to spoil their husbands by taking over their home duty.

Similarly, these wives kick up a tantrum when their mothers do not help them with the dirty work home like cleaning utencils,dusting the place.

I have seen mothers in their old age putting up with daughters abuse.It is sad that empowerment of young women with education is leading to unintended fall outs.

 

[Raji Ram]

Just thinking aloud! We are welcomed by each and every near and dear one, as long as we are of help to them.

Suppose we need help from them, will anyone welcome us to their sweet home? :sad:

 

[krish44]

Very few have a mindset of helping others unconditionally.

I can understand this mindset.

What irritates me more is that they have taken our help in the past and conveniently forget this when we need them.

At least there can be reciprocity in a relationship.

I have learnt to give unconditionally and forget about it .

When someone remembers it later I feel happy no doubt.

 

[tbs]

This sort of thinking wont be of any use and the cycle of "torture" continues.

I remember when I was an intern, me and other interns were "tortured" by our senior staff.

At times some of us wished we had a gun so that we could shoot these senior staff and burn their bodies!LOL

I wanted this cycle of torture to end...therefore when I became a senior staff myself I made it a point to guide the junior interns kindly and nicely so that they learned up fast and I also told them how to deal with some irritating andropausal egoistic @#$%& consultants.

I felt having undergone all these "torture" myself the best I could do is not let another person suffer the same.

But not everyone thought like me...some of them felt since they underwent torture themselves why let others have an easy way out and they started torturing the juniors.


I feel any right thinking person would not let others suffer just becos they suffered.

I feel usually no 2 females really get along...even most sisters in real life do not really tolerate each other.

So its always better for a MIL and DIL to be diplomatic and stay at a comfortable distance

hi

try with would be DIL....TIME WILL TELL THE ANSWER.....preaching is easy....practical is tough....being a ONLY SON MOM..

u can understand better than others...

 

[tbs]

Just thinking aloud! We are welcomed by each and every near and dear one, as long as we are of help to them.

Suppose we need help from them, will anyone welcome us to their sweet home? :sad:

hi

welcoming elders to USA...mainly for BABY SITTING WITHOUT PAY....

 

[navy-eswaran]

hi

welcoming elders to USA...mainly for BABY SITTING WITHOUT PAY....

if a LOVED one is calling his/her parent to USA ,there is no harm in extending help. angeyum poi serial pattundu murukku sappida ninaipadu kodumai. they are spending a 1.5 lakh rs for travel alone. the best way is to sit tight at madras. irunda edam pallam.
koovama gamnu irukkanum.

 

[vgane]

koovama gamnu irukkanum.

gamnu kida mamoi may be more apt in Madras Tamil! LOL!

 

[Raji Ram]

Everything tambrahms like to eat is available in the Indian stores of the U S of A. I have seen even frozen ilai adai

in one of the stores! My grand daughters like Indian food more than all the pastas and pizzas of this country. My d i l

makes all delicious food at home. (Prasad Sir! Are you there?)

BTW, we are not that type of parents, who go after a particular brand of coffee and carry loads of them from India.

We are satisfied with instant coffee / any Indian coffee powder available here to make filter coffee.

 

[prasad1]

Everything tambrahms like to eat is available in the Indian stores of the U S of A. I have seen even frozen ilai adai

in one of the stores! My grand daughters like Indian food more than all the pastas and pizzas of this country. My d i l

makes all delicious food at home. (Prasad Sir! Are you there?)

BTW, we are not that type of parents, who go after a particular brand of coffee and carry loads of them from India.

We are satisfied with instant coffee / any Indian coffee powder available here to make filter coffee.

eace:

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Mother-in-law is a person universally talked about. MIL is a non-entity if there is DIL. The lambs have and are no problem. Old saying four heads will meet but not........... I should say SIL is happiest at dish washing.

 

[renuka]

hi

try with would be DIL....TIME WILL TELL THE ANSWER.....preaching is easy....practical is tough....being a ONLY SON MOM..

u can understand better than others...

I am not planning to get too cosy with anyone.

I always maintain a comfortable distance with anyone in my life...personally I would like a DIL who minds her business and does not bother others!LOL

And I am not planning to bother her either.


I have seen some over the top DIL who try to be over nice..I cant stand all that.I dont like too friendly types too.

I would want my son to stay with his wife far from me!LOL

 

[krish44]

If it can happen in life it could be excellent..

Most mothers of working daughters /DILs get drawn into daughters/DILs life at child birth for a few months whether they like it or not.

They are forced to play a support role[ It is an emotional hook]

It would be wonderful if parents/parents in law can stay away . It is a dream for most.

Somehow one cannot wish away and live ones own life when children call for help.

Also there is economics to consider. How many of us can live independantly after retirement? Health is a another issue which make parents stick to children after they

are married

 

[renuka]

Also there is economics to consider. How many of us can live independantly after retirement? Health is a another issue which make parents stick to children after they

are married

We have savings right?

Also when one is young...one should learn how to invest and not spend off everything and then depend on children at an old age.

Also if one has a running business or practice..one can employ others to work for us ..so income still comes in.

If one is too ill...one should consider moving to a home or the morgue.

 

[krish44]

We have savings right?

Also when one is young...one should learn how to invest and not spend off everything and then depend on children at an old age.

Also if one has a running business or practice..one can employ others to work for us ..so income still comes in.

If one is too ill...one should consider moving to a home or the morgue.

The indian reality is that after the boy and girl are educated and married at parents expense in single parent earning families, the parents are left only with their minor

pension to live on and are economically vulnerable. They might be able to live on their pension with some sacrifices but they may not have enough for good medical

care or contingent expenses. A country where there has been close to 9-10 percent inflation for couple of decades except a few years, savings if any have depreciated

and are not worth much.So for most it is hand to mouth existence.Most next generation does not think that they should return some money back to their parents for old

age . This is the harsh indian reality

 

[navy-eswaran]

The indian reality is that after the boy and girl are educated and married at parents expense in single parent earning families, the parents are left only with their minor

pension to live on and are economically vulnerable. They might be able to live on their pension with some sacrifices but they may not have enough for good medical

care or contingent expenses. A country where there has been close to 9-10 percent inflation for couple of decades except a few years, savings if any have depreciated

and are not worth much.So for most it is hand to mouth existence.Most next generation does not think that they should return some money back to their parents for old

age . This is the harsh Indian reality

with regards may i say it is applicable only to the parents of girl child. they have to spend a major chunk for education and marriage. it does not end there, the mapillai has to be pampered for all festivals for one year.( may be later too).they have to bear the expenses for first child!!?etc., whereas the boy's parents get everything from the girls side. so your argument holds good only for girl';s parents. but many of them are manasthans, so they never desire returns from their girl,except for Love.

 

[Raji Ram]

Eswaran ji is yet to know the real position of tambrahm guy's parents.
To be frank, I am happy that Ram and I are financially independent. eace: