Growing live-in relationships - is it threat to india?

[sarang]

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That is the essence of sanatana dharma - to lead a life of dharma; better still to strive to lead a life of dharma. There are samanya and special dharmas, and as Bhishma said, sometimes it is difficult to decide whether a particular action is right or wrong, or which dharma is to be adhered to.

Marriage according to the Hindu Dharma is to fulfill the four fold purusharthas (four aims of life). Dharma (here it is adherence to natural law), Artha (pursuit of economic well-being), Kama (fulfillment of desire) and Moksha (to liberate oneself). I feel that Individuals who are driven by the primal urge of propagation, fear any one of the purusharthas except Kama, prefer not to enter the Social and Legal commitment of Marriage.
Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[sangom]

Sangom Sir while I take your points on board I'd just like to say that realistically nowadays the world and people have become individualistic and no one can stop that, I don't think.

Ravi while your ideals are noble and no one, i repeat no one can fault you for having such ideals, please try not to judge others who choose different lifestyles from your good self. Also Sangom Sir's calm measured post makes one want to read it. Prima facie you start ranting and coming across as antagonistic then can't blame one for not even wanting to read the sagas.

Thank you amala. But do you really feel that this "individualistic" can go on and on, without limit? I do not think so, because, ultimately, the early man was an extremely individualistic hunter with hardly the father-mother relationship acknowledged as much as in the middle period. (Today, due to the individualism perhaps, this relationship has once again become tattered so to say; in the near future even the mother-offspring relation may get so weakened as to be unrecognizable after the initial few years of the child till he goes to the 'pre-school'.

I therefore feel that this trend towards high individualism will wear off as time passes and everything will come back full circle. The only disconcerting aspect (at least for me) in all these west-motivated "individualism" trend is that it is the countries following Islam that the old norms of family etc., are to be found to the best extent and this may, therefore, help Islam to convert many populations to their religion. Even as of today, the youth in Kerala seem to be 'leaning' more towards the Islamic side.

 

[Iyer]

Honorable Sri Ravi,

Please refer your post #171.

"When I am talking against Live-in-Relationship, I talk considering the betterment of the whole society. A structured society where individual rights and social responsibilities should go hand in hand and leads to the existence of a healthy society."

Please enlighten us how a live-in relationship could harm society. How is it irresponsibility?

"My upbringing and hell lots of other bachelor's upbringing, instilling relationship and family values, sincere love-commitment-responsibilities towards a women who share our life emotionally and physically etc..etc have secured the walls of morals and values and are happy and proud to retain it. We don't have a single need to breach this wall to get into hell personally and ditching the future society into hell."

How does a live-in relationship violate values? What family values are spoilt in a live-in relationship? What makes you feel that women cannot share emotions better in a live-in relationship? How is a live-in relationship immoral? <Edtd - KRS> How is a live-in relationship which does not mandate a coital relation inferior to co-habitation with a concubine?

"I am talking considering the society as a whole, weighing what is good and what is not good for the overall betterment of Human Species....These people who opt for live-in-relationship are in a way cowards!"

Why would not a live-in relationship contribute for betterment of society? How say ye that live-in relationship people are cowards?

"A true, confident, honest, sincere, loving, caring and emotionally comforting Man who ...."

What makes you opine that a man in a live-in relationship is diffident, dishonest, insincere, is not loving or caring or emotionally comforting?

"When we evaluate things in terms of the society, its our collective responsibility to think what is good for the society......"

How is live-in relationship bad for the society?

Does any scripture other than Bible condemn live-in relationship?

 

[KRS]

Hey Iyer,

How are your cousins Iyer@infosys, Acharya, Sastri doing? Is Brahmarishi your paternal or maternal cousin?

Again, I don't think you are an 'Iyer'. Please desist posting on Hindu religion and culture, till you identify yourself to us privately.

KRS

 

[Iyyarooraan]

When many, many factors contribute to stable and reliable arranged marriage or an approved love marriage, live-in relationship is as fragile as a glass piece. If you are going to enjoy live-in relationship what prevents one from enjoying a committed marriage. Bondage gives moments of pleasure. Freedom totally robs you of it. So it is one's own choice for occasional pleasure out of bondage or total freedom from pleasure. One thing is sure to come out- the feeling of comradeship by aping others. This one is workable in today's social and economic conditions provided one understands the difference. Unfortunately the so called understanding graduates or degenarates. The poison test is for the willing.

 

[prasad1]

An anglo sexan American friend decided to get married to his live-in girlfriend after 10 years, and 2 children.
We were close enough, and have talked openly about all aspects of life. I was curious, and I asked him why did they decide to marry, my question was:
"why would a piece of paper (The marriage licence) make a difference".
The answers ware complicated:
1. They had acquired assets and legally it makes easy for courts to have a marriage. Some of the rules of inheritance still rely on marriage.
2. They wanted to travel outside of state, and other places still need marriage for tax and benefits.
3. They wanted to baptize their children and Church still wants married couples only.

To me it still was rather foreign, but it is the reality.

Purely from social point of view, the couple and society needs to work it out.

Financial Arrangements:
Live-in relationships do guarantee immense financial freedom for both parties involved. In a marriage however, it is generally accepted that the married couple share their earnings and enter into joint financial venture. However, these rules are not carved in stone. In today’s day and age even married couples tend to keep their financial matters separate and many live-in couples decide to share their individual earnings.

Attitude of Society

Despite the fact that there are scores of couples who are opting for live-in relationships, the society still attaches a taboo to such relationships. The majority looks at live-in relationship as a dilution of morals and more importantly tradition. Marriage on the other is still venerated by most despite the alarming rise in the number of divorces and problems in relationships. Therefore, the primary difference between live-in relationships and marriage is that marriage has received the societal stamp of approval and live-in relationships are yet to do so.

Where do they stand in terms of Law?

A marriage is governed by a separate set of laws in all countries which safeguards the interests of both parties who enter into the union. Live-in relationships on the other hand have received due recognition in a few countries such as France and Philippines. In India, presently there is no law defining the maxims of a live-in relationship. The Supreme Court however, has observed in a current ruling that a woman who has lived in a live-in relationship for a long period of time should enjoy the same rights that a married woman is entitled to.

The decision to enter into a live-in relationship or a marriage depends entirely on the two people involved. They need to be aware of the pros and cons of both and should at the same time rationalise as to what they really want out of the relationship. Entering a live-in relationship because it is fashionable or marrying someone because that is what the society wants are both ill-informed decisions and hence should be avoided. Moreover, relationship help is available to both married and live-in couples. So there is no point in shying away from it in times of crisis.

Fortunately I did not have to make that decision.