Growing Old

[Raji Ram]

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Ram's mAmi wanted to invite all of us for her great granddaughter's first birthday.
But the parents of the kid said :nono: to relatives in the invitee's list! eace:

 

[krish44]

You can't invite people because you are a GUEST!
sutramum natpum soozha padai eduppadhu andhak kAlam!! :bump2:

you know RRji
There are some traditions which are respected in families . normally invitations are sent in the

name of seniormost members of the clan out of respect. even at my sons marriage , the invitation was in the

name of my eldest brother who met my sambandhi only on the day before the marriage

I think this custom is widely followed in TB families.

I do not know the convention for gruhapravesam .even in kgopalanjis sample invitation for gruhapravesam this

convention is followed [ see post 15 of 13 -02-13 of Kgopalanji in the thread.]

you are logical when you say I cannot invite if I am a guest .

we might end up with multiple cards then

. Even at marriage I had multiple cards . for relations and my friends my card with my brothers name and mine, for sons friends

his personal card with only his name and name of the girl inviting them to the event

this is a decent compromise between the old and new generation.

many oldies will be offended if son sends the invitation in his name and would prefer to be invited by

their contemporary.

Has the society changed so much as not to respect this convention?

also why not share a happy event with all .?

I attach a lot of importance to inter personal relationships . natpu is bigger than blood relations.this natpu padai will

stay with you . some of my closest relationships I have made are at the beginning of worklife .they have

stayed with me for over 40 years.They are still available for me when I call for them.




.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

The traditions are kept only for the pink and yellow invitations, as far as I know! Ram and I invited the whole family and host of

our friends for our granddaughter's Ayushya Homam because it was arranged by us in Sing. Chennai! If it were in Boston, we would

have kept :tape:... We requested our Sambandhis to call their family and friends, up to 60 and they did so.

BTW, I have not seen any gruhapravesam invitation with name of the eldest living member of the family, in my circle, so far!!

 

[renuka]

you know RRji
There are some traditions which are respected in families . normally invitations are sent in the

name of seniormost members of the clan out of respect. even at my sons marriage , the invitation was in the

name of my eldest brother who met my sambandhi only on the day before the marriage

I think this custom is widely followed in TB families.

I do not know the convention for gruhapravesam .even in kgopalanjis sample invitation for gruhapravesam this

convention is followed [ see post 15 of 13 -02-13 of Kgopalanji in the thread.]

you are logical when you say I cannot invite if I am a guest .

we might end up with multiple cards then

. Even at marriage I had multiple cards . for relations and my friends my card with my brothers name and mine, for sons friends

his personal card with only his name and name of the girl inviting them to the event

this is a decent compromise between the old and new generation.

many oldies will be offended if son sends the invitation in his name and would prefer to be invited by

their contemporary.

Has the society changed so much as not to respect this convention?

also why not share a happy event with all .?

I attach a lot of importance to inter personal relationships . natpu is bigger than blood relations.this natpu padai will

stay with you . some of my closest relationships I have made are at the beginning of worklife .they have

stayed with me for over 40 years.They are still available for me when I call for them.




.

Krish ji,

You are totally opposite of me!LOL

You dont answer phone calls after office hours but I answer phone calls all the time.

You believe in inviting all Mamas and Machans for functions but I dont call anyone besides those I really have to call.

I remember when I moved in my house.. my husband wanted to call the priest for a Gruhpravesham and even though I dont really believe in a Gruhapravesham ceremony I agreed for my husbands sake and I called my parents and my in laws(FIL/MIL) ..thats all.

When the ceremony was over everyone went back home after having something to eat..a simple breakfast at home.

I never printed any card etc..I just phoned my inlaws to come.

My parents they were monitoring me cos they knew I wont like any rituals etc and they made sure I agreed to do the Gruhapravesham!LOL

 

[krish44]

Krish ji,

You are totally opposite of me!LOL

You dont answer phone calls after office hours but I answer phone calls all the time.

You believe in inviting all Mamas and Machans for functions but I dont call anyone besides those I really have to call.

I remember when I moved in my house.. my husband wanted to call the priest for a Gruhpravesham and even though I dont really believe in a Gruhapravesham ceremony I agreed for my husbands sake and I called my parents and my in laws(FIL/MIL) ..thats all.

When the ceremony was over everyone went back home after having something to eat..a simple breakfast at home.

I never printed any card etc..I just phoned my inlaws to come.

My parents they were monitoring me cos they knew I wont like any rituals etc and they made sure I agreed to do the Gruhapravesham!LOL

Good RRji
I like the last line.you agreed to compromise on appeals from near and dear .

life goes on with this kind of compromises off and on .

I too do not particularly believe in rituals .I get sucked into it . Then I start thinking -oh these purohits, thread wearing , caste signs , fire ,smoke ,burning eyes . we are all prisoners of conventional upbringing and we cannot easily break free.thets why I said if my son performs the puja , then I can escape these and put only atchadai.

I call all my relatives since I get to see them together in a single event. I am obliged to call my sambandhis since my childrens lives are tied to them .I can hardly ignore them

Instead of cards ,emails are convenient .I use the same for outstation people following it up with phones

iyengars attach a lot of importance to food . any event is always followed by hearty eating . also the delhi influence and fat punjabi wedding styles have left their mark on me. so simplicity is a casualty .

we keep living for others and keep conforming . then there is nothing left for us to believe in and follow . rather a sad conclusion . is it not?

 

[renuka]

I like the last line.you agreed to compromise on appeals from near and dear .

life goes on with this kind of compromises off and on .

I had no choice yaar..so there is no compromise..I will get lectured non stop and get nagged non stop by my parents and Inlaws if I did not agree to Gruhapravesham...so I just sat there quietly and the priest was a nice friendly guy so it was Ok.
Somehow most priests always like me!

BTW I am renuka..you typed RR ji in your reply to me.

 

[krish44]

I had no choice yaar..so there is no compromise..I will get lectured non stop and get nagged non stop by my parents and Inlaws if I did not agree to Gruhapravesham...so I just sat there quietly and the priest was a nice friendly guy so it was Ok.
Somehow most priests always like me!

BTW I am renuka..you typed RR ji in your reply to me.

renuka ji
oops sorry
I thought it was a non RRJi like post when I was typing the response .your reply puts things in the right perspective . I was wondering how RRji can say such things.this should convince you I require some guardian angels to hold my hands .lol

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

The traditions are kept only for the pink and yellow invitations, as far as I know! Ram and I invited the whole family and host of

our friends for our granddaughter's Ayushya Homam because it was arranged by us in Sing. Chennai! If it were in Boston, we would

have kept :tape:... We requested our Sambandhis to call their family and friends, up to 60 and they did so.

BTW, I have not seen any gruhapravesam invitation with name of the eldest living member of the family, in my circle, so far!!

RRji
according to Kgopalans sample invite fathers name is put above the sons name ,not the eldest living member of family . you are correct . but it is not in sons name alone.

equally true that traditions are normally in pink and yellow invites. since I am in north india , it would not make sense to locals who are friends of parents , so reception invites were in english and were in our names.That makes it three invitations.

we iyengars believe in hearty eating at all events .

Add to it ,the punjabi influence , we have fat wedding with drums and bhangra dancing along local band.during mapillai welcome during day earlier to marriage. I had vadama iyers dancing to bhangra beats ,this included an eighty year old , the grand father of the girl . when my wife held his hands and joined in dancing the old mans wife was blushing and trying to hide . great to watch.lol

 

[vgane]

Krishji,

In case you are making a formal printed invitation it can be in your name..It will look and feel good..Youngsters require blessings of elders...You can call all the important people..Relatives and friends..You have already invited all of us..Thanks for your magnanimity

Besides Ganapathy Homam, Navagraha homam, Vastu Homam are done by Iyers

Now a days, youngsters will buy 3-4 flats and houses during their life time...After 1-2 Grahapravesams people get bored...So if your son is in the 1-2 bracket just go and celebrate in a grand manner

 

[Raji Ram]

Krish Sir! You are spoiling the already spoiled thAthAs!! :lol:

 

[Raji Ram]

Beware Krish Sir!

All the forum members from Sing Chennai will board Kaveri express (spelling changed for good from Cauvery!)

and be there at the Gruhapravesam function for a free get together and to enjoy 'sadhdhi' food! :hungry:

'sadhdhi' food picture:

 

[krish44]

Krishji,

In case you are making a formal printed invitation it can be in your name..It will look and feel good..Youngsters require blessings of elders...You can call all the important people..Relatives and friends..You have already invited all of us..Thanks for your magnanimity

Besides Ganapathy Homam, Navagraha homam, Vastu Homam are done by Iyers

Now a days, youngsters will buy 3-4 flats and houses during their life time...After 1-2 Grahapravesams people get bored...So if your son is in the 1-2 bracket just go and celebrate in a grand manner

Thank you for your post. I feel elated .as for invites no magnanimity only the normal done thing. I believe in sharing my prosperity and happiness with all]

i am still looking for a few homams to suit iyengars to add to your list specified for iyers . my sastrigal is likely to be an iyer [ he is husband of my

cook in bangalore and is kovil gurukkal. I collect a lot of interesting people in my family. I am finding a match for his daughter , a bcom MBA . I have floated a

profile for her in matrimonial site. she is finding it difficult to find a match due to her fathers occupation].

i have a couple of flats of my own in delhi ,chennai.so I am already in the trap of multiple flats . Only I do not remember what was done by way

of rituals . I simply located a purohit and told him to recite some mantras and get all the puja materials required . only thing I remember was I


inhaled a lot of smoke during havan and also got irritation in my eyes .lol

 

[indianassault]

RRji
according to Kgopalans sample invite fathers name is put above the sons name ,not the eldest living member of family . you are correct . but it is not in sons name alone.

equally true that traditions are normally in pink and yellow invites. since I am in north india , it would not make sense to locals who are friends of parents , so reception invites were in english and were in our names.That makes it three invitations.

we iyengars believe in hearty eating at all events .

Add to it ,the punjabi influence , we have fat wedding with drums and bhangra dancing along local band.during mapillai welcome during day earlier to marriage. I had vadama iyers dancing to bhangra beats ,this included an eighty year old , the grand father of the girl . when my wife held his hands and joined in dancing the old mans wife was blushing and trying to hide . great to watch.lol

We still follow this tradition ( or forced to follow by my Mother. ) My wedding, my brothers wedding, our seemandham, nichyathartham had yellow invitations printed on behalf or my Father s elder brother. But for my daughter s 1st birthday, it was not, because my wife suggested to have my father s name than his elder brother s name, which sounded logical for me.

( Somehow my periappa could not attend the function and my mother said, its due to the invitation )

And regarding dance, we have it in every marriage, since my uncle lives in Delhi. Only kuthu songs :drum::roll: and Arranging classical music is a big no )

 

[vgane]

And regarding dance, we have it in every marriage, since my uncle lives in Delhi. Only kuthu songs :drum::roll: and Arranging classical music is a big no )

My brother in law's family are in North Madras (Chennai-1)for several hundred years..In their families all Janavasam's are accompanied by Dance & crackers (saravedi)! When I first saw it I was shocked! But later whenever we meet, we expect a new dappanguttu! It is a great sight to watch!

 

[renuka]

My brother in law's family are in North Madras (Chennai-1)for several hundred years..In their families all Janavasam's are accompanied by Dance & crackers (saravedi)! When I first saw it I was shocked! But later whenever we meet, we expect a new dappanguttu! It is a great sight to watch!

I love both Dappankuttu and Bhangra..both make you want to get up and dance!

 

[rnarayan]

Here's the lighter side of growing Old..........

AsI was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,I realized that at myage I don't really give a rat's arse anymore.

..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

..A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

..A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't runand does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

Andyou tell me to exercise? I don't think so.

Justgrant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune toremember the ones I do and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Nowthat I'm older here's what I've discovered:



1.I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2.My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3.I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4.Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5.If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

6.It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

7.Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post.

8.I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9.Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

10.Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

11.It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

12.The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

13.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

14.When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to playchess.

15. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

16.The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

17.These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I gosomewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

18.Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

19.HAVE I POSTED THIS BEFORE..........?????? Probably!