Happily divorced

[prasad1]

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Happily divorced is no longer an oxymoron. Nor does it refer to the popular American sitcom. It is the New Age definition for a small breed of urban couples who have discovered that they can be divorced and yet happy in each other’s company. Mumbai based clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr Seema Hingorani is not yet ready to call this a ‘growing trend’. “I would say only five to seven per cent of Indian couples get their post- divorce equation right. Mostly it’s those couples who have opted for divorce by mutual consent, share a friendly rapport as they don’t want their children to get messed up. But if more divorced couples are willing to work out their differences in the interests of their children, then this will be a very welcoming trend.”

Some believe that divorce is only the end of a marriage not the relationship so why break the bond, if you can manage to be friends? NRI hotelier Vikram Chatwal who recently turned 40, may have separated from his ex-wife Priya Sachdev but is friendly with her. He says, “The turning point was my daughter Safira who is five. We share a beautiful relationship. She lives in Delhi with her mother. Priya and I share an amicable relationship today.”

By Nayare Ali| DC

 

[Raghy]

Greetings.

In the future, amoung Indians divorce may be adopted in the same vigour as a newly converted. most Indian marriages and most Hindu marriages are taken for granted. that is not correct. We are only assuming, as the marriage lasts many years, the bonding becomes stronger and stronger. But it doesn't. We don't usually work at it. We usually leave it to rot and start the blame game; and plead the God to 'save' our marriage. Marriage is not a sacred union. There is no divine sanction to that union. Something which was tolerable or compatible may not stay compatible after 20 odd years. There are so many factors which contribute to make a marriage union strong; over the period of time, complacency sets in and these uniting factors are left to decay. Often times, couple in Hindu marriage just rot in their miserable marriage, put up a false front. There are somany persons out there wearing a 'happily married mask' with a broad smile painted on it while they cry behind that mask. Attachment, detachment, vanaprastham, sanyasam.... we have all these high and mighty sounding jargons in Hindu philosophy to fool ourselves while we actually lost the knowledge to actually live in harmony and happiness.

 

[C RAVI]

If that is the case, why to marry? We can have many good friends/relationships with the opposite sex and be happy. Can change from one to another, from time to time, as and how we could feel comfortable with the other person.

Why to live a life, shifting between the sense of certainty and uncertainty, Not knowing how long marriage would survive?

The system can be worked out this way -

When a guy and a lady wants to have a child, they need to first register with a specific designated government department, making a declaration that they want to pair and deliver a baby. Authenticating that, the involvement between the two is with mutual consent and the child born out of this Lawful union would be considered as a Legitimate Child.

Then, they have to produce that certificate in the hospital to be admitted in labor ward, deliver the bay and register the baby's birth.

The system can be made easy by registering the parent's union online with a unique code, so that any time the certificate can be printed out and the parents can produce it to the hospital along with any one of both of their photo ID cards.

The legal registration of the uniting couples for delivering a legitimate baby should be done each time the adults wish to unite and deliver a baby. This would be applicable for any no. of child birth even if the couples pairing for the purpose are the same.


The father of the child be made legally responsible to give the child the basic and the best possible needs of the child's life.

Child to be with mother up to 5 years as mandatory.

Both the parents need not be living along with each other in same place/under one roof.

Afterwords, there need not be any rule as where and with whom the child need to stay. The child can opt to stay with mother or with father or some where alone or keep shuttling between parents, as and when the child feels. But would be given legal right to claim his/her privileges from his/her father.


This way there would be no marriage tensions and expenses AS WELL nothing called Divorce.

All are good friends and All is Well!!!


Sounds great!!??!!

LOL!!

 

[renuka]

If that is the case, why to marry? We can have many good friends/relationships with the opposite sex and be happy. Can change from one to another, from time to time, as and how we could feel comfortable with the other person.

Why to live a life, shifting between the sense of certainty and uncertainty, Not knowing how long marriage would survive?

The system can be worked out this way -

When a guy and a lady wants to have a child, they need to first register with a specific designated government department, making a declaration that they want to pair and deliver a baby. Authenticating that, the involvement between the two is with mutual consent and the child born out of this Lawful union would be considered as a Legitimate Child.

Then, they have to produce that certificate in the hospital to be admitted in labor ward, deliver the bay and register the baby's birth.

The system can be made easy by registering the parent's union online with a unique code, so that any time the certificate can be printed out and the parents can produce it to the hospital along with any one of both of their photo ID cards.

The legal registration of the uniting couples for delivering a legitimate baby should be done each time the adults wish to unite and deliver a baby. This would be applicable for any no. of child birth even if the couples pairing for the purpose are the same.


The father of the child be made legally responsible to give the child the basic and the best possible needs of the child's life.

Child to be with mother up to 5 years as mandatory.

Both the parents need not be living along with each other in same place/under one roof.

Afterwords, there need not be any rule as where and with whom the child need to stay. The child can opt to stay with mother or with father or some where alone or keep shuttling between parents, as and when the child feels. But would be given legal right to claim his/her privileges from his/her father.


This way there would be no marriage tensions and expenses AS WELL nothing called Divorce.

All are good friends and All is Well!!!


Sounds great!!??!!

LOL!!

Hi Ravi..long time no see!!

This is called Friends with Benefits!!LOL

 

[prasad1]

Ravi,
Good to see you back.
Why this talk of Legality of an Union?

A civil union, also referred to as a civil partnership, is a legally recognized form of partnership similar to marriage. Beginning with Denmark in 1989, civil unions under one name or another have been established by law in several, mostly developed, countries in order to provide same-sex couples rights, benefits, and responsibilities similar (in some countries, identical) to opposite-sex civil marriage. In some jurisdictions, such as Brazil, New Zealand, Uruguay, France and the U.S. states of Hawaii and Illinois, civil unions are also open to opposite-sex couples.
Many countries with civil unions recognize foreign unions if those are essentially equivalent to their own; for example, the United Kingdom lists equivalent unions in Civil Partnership Act Schedule .

A legality of a child born can only be important to establish paretage, estate, or religious.
Parentage can be established by DNA.
Estate is matter for the courts.
Religion has to adapt!!!!!!

 

[renuka]

Today I was filling up online Indian Visa application and I was really impressed that India recognizes 3 sexes under the sex column.

Gender column came with 3 choices:

Male
Female
Transgender

Not many countries recognize Transgenders.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Happily divorced = unhappily married! :bolt:

Happily married = unwilling to divorce! :hug:

 

[renuka]

Happily divorced = unhappily married! :bolt:

Happily married = unwilling to divorce! :hug:

You know sometimes some people might not 100% tolerate their spouses but you see we also need the help of spouses sometimes to run errands at times..so if we divorce them that means we have to do all extra work ourselves.

Further more if we are married we can wear sexy saree blouses/sexy clothes and go anywhere with husband.
If we are with husband no one can comment on our dressing or character.

If we are divorced we have to dress more conservative so that no one will try to speak ill of our character.

So come to think of it having a spouse is actually good for our day to day work and also for our fashion sense!LOL

 

[C RAVI]

You know sometimes some people might not 100% tolerate their spouses but you see we also need the help of spouses sometimes to run errands at times..so if we divorce them that means we have to do all extra work ourselves.

Further more if we are married we can wear sexy saree blouses/sexy clothes and go anywhere with husband.
If we are with husband no one can comment on our dressing or character.

If we are divorced we have to dress more conservative so that no one will try to speak ill of our character.

So come to think of it having a spouse is actually good for our day to day work and also for our fashion sense!LOL

LOL!!!

To wear sexy dress and still to be safe, having a company of a man, a lady can divorce any number of times and can have a man by her side each time....

She can first fix her temporary/short term relationship man and then opt to divorce her wedded husband.

 

[venkat2206]

You know sometimes some people might not 100% tolerate their spouses but you see we also need the help of spouses sometimes to run errands at times..so if we divorce them that means we have to do all extra work ourselves.

Further more if we are married we can wear sexy saree blouses/sexy clothes and go anywhere with husband.
If we are with husband no one can comment on our dressing or character.

If we are divorced we have to dress more conservative so that no one will try to speak ill of our character.

So come to think of it having a spouse is actually good for our day to day work and also for our fashion sense!LOL

I sincerely hope some of the postings in this thread are only for "time pass - keep us in happy mood" types. All said in this as well in the thread of "food Poisioning" about Chinna Veedu - should not be taken seriously by any new member to this site. Then they may form altogether different opinion about the forum as well as contributors to these threads.

Enjoy postings.

Venkat K

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Western civilization has so confused all of us that there is no possibility of rethinking. You can find every thing right and reasonable there and find everything opposite here. Those sick minds cannot be nurtured back to life and reason from decay. Why everybody suppose that marriage has to be happier only. There are no greats with whom you can ever be happy. You talk all about life and experiences without understanding anything just because a tiny lump of flesh getting tiny limbs and growing and acting as if that flesh has the power to do all these things, pretending to be able to correct everything that you feel wrong but never understand that self is wrong in understanding because of vasna.I fail to understand why many of our people do not understand that life will not be smooth and fine. You do not agree with your own family members and kin, your neighbours, your friends, colleagues, acquaintances, politicians and the world. Then how do you expect a spouse to understand the counterpart. But it is funny that we are fast like F1 to say that our marriages are wrong.

Beside the point, I hear there are changes in the hearts of boys and girls who appear to find that the other side is not all that green. It is a haze - a mirage or real - time only can tell. I think it is time people understood that in life you have to accept what is not acceptable because it is your merit.

 

[sarang]

And mitra shatru!

Hi Ravi..long time no see!!

This is called Friends with Benefits!!LOL

 

[C RAVI]

Western civilization has so confused all of us that there is no possibility of rethinking. You can find every thing right and reasonable there and find everything opposite here. Those sick minds cannot be nurtured back to life and reason from decay. Why everybody suppose that marriage has to be happier only. There are no greats with whom you can ever be happy. You talk all about life and experiences without understanding anything just because a tiny lump of flesh getting tiny limbs and growing and acting as if that flesh has the power to do all these things, pretending to be able to correct everything that you feel wrong but never understand that self is wrong in understanding because of vasna.I fail to understand why many of our people do not understand that life will not be smooth and fine. You do not agree with your own family members and kin, your neighbours, your friends, colleagues, acquaintances, politicians and the world. Then how do you expect a spouse to understand the counterpart. But it is funny that we are fast like F1 to say that our marriages are wrong.

Beside the point, I hear there are changes in the hearts of boys and girls who appear to find that the other side is not all that green. It is a haze - a mirage or real - time only can tell. I think it is time people understood that in life you have to accept what is not acceptable because it is your merit.

Very well said Shri Iyyarooran,


It is irony to note that people are changing along side the western culture and started celebrating Divorce...

It is rarest to have absolute compatibility between two individuals as spouse. Couples live by adapting and accommodating each other, by being flexible, by being considerate towards the other etc.etc with sense of love, commitment and responsibilities. Adjusting and compromising with each other alone can mean a Family. Otherwise of which there can't exist a system called family system that offers the charm of living.

Divorce need not be a Taboo!! Divorce can be opted when the situation so warrants, as a final resort. But, it is not something that has to be celebrated and encouraged such that people go for divorce at the drop of a hat, finding alternates easily, in this globalized world with many a chance to be misused/tortured/fooled by some other.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The divorced hope to find better partners in their successive innings.
But I think that "The known devil is better than the unknown angel!"

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

As always you are very honest.
We need a ma's help in many tasks like changing a fused bulb, reaching the attic,
carrying heavy weights etc. If we seek the help of another man, the help will come
with strings and ropes attached to them. :fear:
Poor hubbies will be more than willing to oblige the requests of their wives
expecting NOTHING in return. :angel:

You know sometimes some people might not 100% tolerate their spouses but you see we also need the help of spouses sometimes to run errands at times..so if we divorce them that means we have to do all extra work ourselves.

Further more if we are married we can wear sexy saree blouses/sexy clothes and go anywhere with husband.
If we are with husband no one can comment on our dressing or character.

If we are divorced we have to dress more conservative so that no one will try to speak ill of our character.

So come to think of it having a spouse is actually good for our day to day work and also for our fashion sense!LOL

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

With her husband a lady feels safe. But what about the chivalrous gents
who give company and ask for impossible returns for their escorting service
more so when the lady wears daring, baring, stunning outfits!!
In all probability he might lead her into an ambush!!! :shocked:

LOL!!!

To wear sexy dress and still to be safe, having a company of a man, a lady can divorce any number of times and can have a man by her side each time....

She can first fix her temporary/short term relationship man and then opt to divorce her wedded husband.

 

[prasad1]

Happily


The important part of this thread is this word.

You can be single, married, divorced, widow (er), in a monogamous relation, or having multiple partners.

If you are miserable I wish you should get some professional counseling (including faith healing). It is terrible to live with a person who is negative all the time, and only finds faults in others, is hopeless.

 

[renuka]

As always you are very honest.
We need a ma's help in many tasks like changing a fused bulb, reaching the attic,
carrying heavy weights etc. If we seek the help of another man, the help will come
with strings and ropes attached to them. :fear:
Poor hubbies will be more than willing to oblige the requests of their wives
expecting NOTHING in return. :angel:

I am quite an expert at changing bulbs,cleaning AC filter,fixing blocked sinks,drilling nails into wall with the electric drill etc cos when things breakdown at my clinic during working hours I have no choice but to do it myself.
I have even painted my clinic walls on my own.

So hard and tough work I can handle but I need husband to help out sometimes to get some work done during my work time cos I can't leave my clinic as it will spell income loss when patient sees doctor is not there and might go to another clinic.

On the other hand my husband has a break time at work where he can get things done for himself and for me.

 

[renuka]

LOL!!!

To wear sexy dress and still to be safe, having a company of a man, a lady can divorce any number of times and can have a man by her side each time....

She can first fix her temporary/short term relationship man and then opt to divorce her wedded husband.

Divorce is not cheap..Lawyers charge too high most of the time.
So why waste money?

I have seen divorce lawyers handle cases for some of my friends and even though the case might not be too complicated..the lawyers add fuel to fire and try to make the situation worse and paint a really bad picture about the whole situation so that the client gets a large share of the money from her spouse.

You see I feel even divorce should be fair and square.
We do not have to milk spouses dry of money.

Try to come to a decent agreement and move on with life and remains as well wishers if possible.

There is no use destroying someone's life just becos we have fallen out of love with each other.

Divorce is a procedure and should not be tainted with hatred.

 

[Raji Ram]

Even in Sing. Chennai, I do the minor repair works at home - electrical, plumbing, painting and even small mason job!

It is a pity that hubbies are treated like a servant who 'runs on errands willingly'!! Please teach the next generation to

have mutual respect between the spouses and not to treat either of them like servants / cooks / dhobis!! Sharing the

work is quite different from ordering or taking the spouse for granted!! :whip:

 

[Raji Ram]

There is a new money making business! You know what? A matrimonial site!! Yes... These are cropping up like mushrooms

everyday. The new search is for 'a soul mate'!! The word 'compatibility' is spreading like wild fire. Parents of the brides and

grooms are ready to spend a fortune, searching for the 'soul mates'. What happens after this long search? Wedding in grand gAlA

style and soon entry in the family court! The families have become nuclear and the basic tolerance and 'give and take' policy is

vanishing. 'KalyANam Ayiram kAlaththup payir' attitude is totally gone with the wind. It is a real pity!! :tsk:

 

[renuka]

One more benefit of being married:

This time of the year out here many organizations want to have a party for themselves and approach doctors to donate fixed huge amounts so that these organizations can have fun over eating.

These are not some orphanages but some Non Governmental Organizations.
I do not donate for such events cos out here people tend to over eat.

Just now I had a phone call from some organization telling me they want to meet me in 2 days time for a donation.

So this is the time for my "good wife dialogue"

I told them.."I will discuss with my husband and get back to you..only if he agrees for me to donate I would make a donation"

So in 2 days time when they come see me I will put on a shy,demure look and say "I am sorry my husband did not agree to this donation and I do not do anything againts my husbands wishes"

This dialogue works every time.

Once a person got real mad with me and said "You are a doctor and don't you have a mind on your own?"

I said "I share my mind with my husband"

Ha Ha Ha...see how much we can benefit by being married an act like a good wife!!LOL

 

[prasad1]

One more benefit of being married:

This time of the year out here many organizations want to have a party for themselves and approach doctors to donate fixed huge amounts so that these organizations can have fun over eating.

These are not some orphanages but some Non Governmental Organizations.
I do not donate for such events cos out here people tend to over eat.

Just now I had a phone call from some organization telling me they want to meet me in 2 days time for a donation.

So this is the time for my "good wife dialogue"

I told them.."I will discuss with my husband and get back to you..only if he agrees for me to donate I would make a donation"

So in 2 days time when they come see me I will put on a shy,demure look and say "I am sorry my husband did not agree to this donation and I do not do anything againts my husbands wishes"

This dialogue works every time.

Once a person got real mad with me and said "You are a doctor and don't you have a mind on your own?"

I said "I share my mind with my husband"

Ha Ha Ha...see how much we can benefit by being married an act like a good wife!!LOL

When you are lying do you have to infuse "honesty" in it, or you can lie with infused with lie.

 

[renuka]

When you are lying do you have to have to infuse "honesty" in it, or you can lie with infused with lie.

It is not really a lie cos I do discuss every matter involving finance with husband and elders in family before I make a decision.

You see it is better to discuss money matters with others cos various inputs can help us make a better decision.

Furthermore I am Libran and Librans are not too good in making decisions without help from others.

 

[N.R.Ranganathan]

It is not really a lie cos I do discuss every matter involving finance with husband and elders in family before I make a decision.

You see it is better to discuss money matters with others cos various inputs can help us make a better decision.

Furthermore I am Libran and Librans are not too good in making decisions without help from others.

Dear Renuji,
Librans are good at judgement. Thula rasi people weigh the pros and cons
and take a judgement. The sign is balance in hand - tharasu.

Vrichika rasi natives are wavering because of debilitated moon and rishaba
rasi people are head-strong and have strong ego because of exalted moon.