Happily divorced

[Raghy]

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Dear sir,

Dating is when a guy and girl go out for dinner,movies,beach,temple,religious festivals too.

Dating is not wrong if within limits.

Many of us have gone on dates in college.

I do not find anything wrong with dating.
People get to know each other better through dating and that's how even marriage takes place these days.

It is not an immoral act as most commonly thought.

I do not like discos cos the noise is too loud and too many people drinking and smoking( I am allergic to smoke).

Further more out here in Malaysia the police is very strict and they make raids to any Disco and do random urine drug test on anyone..so why be in such places and land up even being wrongly charged with drug abuse in case the urine samples are mixed up.

So disco is not my place to unwind.

Sowbagyavathy Renuka, Greetings.

Dating is very common. My daughter does that. So many times I have cooked dinner to entertain her dates. They are just kids, like to have some good time and fun. We don't even consider anything serious about that. Latest kid was a muslim, few days ago! My daughter came running looking for dates! I was quite surprised to see her searching for dates.... then she said her friend had to break fast! Asked her to give banana and juice to breakfast. ( Dinner was no problem. Vegetarian dinner, not to worry about halal or haram!).

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Sowbagyavathy Renuka, Greetings.

Dating is very common. My daughter does that. So many times I have cooked dinner to entertain her dates. They are just kids, like to have some good time and fun. We don't even consider anything serious about that. Latest kid was a muslim, few days ago! My daughter came running looking for dates! I was quite surprised to see her searching for dates.... then she said her friend had to break fast! Asked her to give banana and juice to breakfast. ( Dinner was no problem. Vegetarian dinner, not to worry about halal or haram!).

Cheers!

Dear Raghy,

My brothers also used to bring their girlfriends home for dinner.
I never brought anyone home for dinner cos I left them all back in India!!LOL

 

[manoharkumar]

Dear Raghy Sir,

That's great. As mentioned some other thread i am still lagging behind in catching up with the present generation and my circle hasn't widened enough. I have not found fault with dating etc till it remains among the teens as friends. What i was driving at is that the friends only feeling turning to affairs. That's what the research had done. Stray cases do not make up the majority.
Cheers!!

 

[Raghy]

Sowbagyavathy Renuka,

We have always been close friends and never even been attracted to each other even once in our lives.
He is very good looking and looks like a male model and girls are crazy for him.
To me he is a good friend and nothing more.
A childhood friend is always like a sibling to us.

I am sure many others have such friends too. I have many friends like that from my village. One such a friend, just few years elder to me passed away couple of months back. We visted each other few times in Bangalore while I was there ( all of us knew it was the last time we are going to see each other).

There is one thing though. All through our lives we addressed each other 'Da' & 'Di'. most members here would be familiar with such platonic relationships. I had few 'iyer girls' who always addressed me 'dey! Rama! ( raman - my second name). (Do you like to try that? you address me Dey Raghy! and I address you Di, Renu!) I don't know what is the usual practice amoung Malaysian Tamils though. ( Kindly don't be offended. If you have not noticed already, most members would vouch for this practice of addressing 'Da!' and 'Di!" in Tamil Brahmin familes).

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Sowbagyavathy Renuka, Greetings.

Dating is very common. My daughter does that. So many times I have cooked dinner to entertain her dates. They are just kids, like to have some good time and fun. We don't even consider anything serious about that. Latest kid was a muslim, few days ago! My daughter came running looking for dates! I was quite surprised to see her searching for dates.... then she said her friend had to break fast! Asked her to give banana and juice to breakfast. ( Dinner was no problem. Vegetarian dinner, not to worry about halal or haram!).

Cheers!

Dear Raghy,

You brought up a very important fact here.
I am glad to know that your daughter does not hide anything from her parents.

This is very important so that parents know who their kids are hanging out with and can advise them too.

Most problems arise when kids hide from parents and parents have no idea what is going on.

Parents should be understanding enough to take an interest in their children's life.

 

[Raghy]

Dear Raghy Sir,

That's great. As mentioned some other thread i am still lagging behind in catching up with the present generation and my circle hasn't widened enough. I have not found fault with dating etc till it remains among the teens as friends. What i was driving at is that the friends only feeling turning to affairs. That's what the research had done. Stray cases do not make up the majority.
Cheers!!

Sri. Manoharkumar, Greetings.

I am not contradicting you at all. Nowadays dating only turns to relationships. My son got married recently; he dated on line in a 'whirlwind' fashion with the girl he selected. When she came at Brisbane I said " At last! We can have the phone line free! We can get phone calls in the evening! He wouldn't be calling you!"

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Sowbagyavathy Renuka,



I am sure many others have such friends too. I have many friends like that from my village. One such a friend, just few years elder to me passed away couple of months back. We visted each other few times in Bangalore while I was there ( all of us knew it was the last time we are going to see each other).

There is one thing though. All through our lives we addressed each other 'Da' & 'Di'. most members here would be familiar with such platonic relationships. I had few 'iyer girls' who always addressed me 'dey! Rama! ( raman - my second name). (Do you like to try that? you address me Dey Raghy! and I address you Di, Renu!) I don't know what is the usual practice amoung Malaysian Tamils though. ( Kindly don't be offended. If you have not noticed already, most members would vouch for this practice of addressing 'Da!' and 'Di!" in Tamil Brahmin familes).

Cheers!

Dear Raghy,

Out here in M'sia Da and Di is not some commonly used.I myself have never used it.

I have heard guys use it among friends but girls seldom or hardly use it.

Out here we use some Malay words to replace Dey.

We use "Hoi"

Close friends call each other pig/dog sometimes.

 

[Raghy]

Renuka,

My daughter is just like me. Just brutal in honesty. Sometimes that really worries me. I sincerely hope she will learn some subtlity from her Siter-in-law. But then, that girl is not different either! DIL and MIL already seems to share 100s of secrets with each other. Padma slipped one while walking in Mt. Tamborine. Anyway, it's nice when everybody is happy. That all we look for.

Cheers!

 

[Raghy]

Close friends call each other pig/dog sometimes.

I was called 'monkey'! Only this time I was not called that name. Even in 2010 there were a few who called me that!

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Renuka,

My daughter is just like me. Just brutal in honesty. Sometimes that really worries me. I sincerely hope she will learn some subtlity from her Sister-in-law. But then, that girl is not different either! DIL and MIL already seems to share 100s of secrets with each other. Padma slipped one while walking in Mt. Tambourine. Anyway, it's nice when everybody is happy. That all we look for.

Cheers!

Tell her to be herself..that's the best.

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear All

If have not already done so, please see the movie " Mr & Mrs Iyer " .
The 'On-Screen Chemistry' between Rahul Bose & Konkana Sen - simply fantastic.

I could easily link to the characters in the story line because [thrice, so far ] because I have found
myself in very similar situations, in real life.

Giving allowance for the dramatizations in the movie, and looking back, I can say that this
could happen to anybody, anytime, anywhere.

Mr & Mrs Iyer! -a "must watch" movie

Yay Yem

 

[Raghy]

Tell her to be herself..that's the best.

Renuka,

She is too young. Doesn't undrstand anything yet. We are as much supportive as possible. In a few years time she will forge her own image and pattern. So far everything is good. She is 20 and no drugs. So, I sincerely believe she passed that stage now. But she got too many anglo-saxon friends, boys and girls. I know most of her friends too. Few years back, i used to drive for the whole gang from pillar to post and back to the pillar spending half my nights. So, i know most of them well! Good thing is, she is serious in her studies, understands what she learns. I believe she will make a much better nurse than me.

Cheers!

 

[manoharkumar]

I believe she will make a much better nurse than me.

Why Nurse Raghy Sir, why not a doctor specializing in any field and you can proudly say father of a such a great Dr. Daughters are gift of the almighty ( sons also but then sons are sons!!)I have two gems both now married off , one in last month end only. Though i know they will be moving out eventually this separation, in unbearable. In another four years time you will also have to see her settled well off. Cheers Sir.

I still remeber the words spoken by the gurukkal of karupleeswarar temple in our town gudiyattam near vellore, his son had a daughter and when enquired what child he told "pora sothu" {going asset"). Still Asset isnt it?

 

[Raghy]

Why Nurse Raghy Sir, why not a doctor specializing in any field and you can proudly say father of a such a great Dr. Daughters are gift of the almighty ( sons also but then sons are sons!!)I have two gems both now married off , one in last month end only. Though i know they will be moving out eventually this separation, in unbearable. In another four years time you will also have to see her settled well off. Cheers Sir.

I still remeber the words spoken by the gurukkal of karupleeswarar temple in our town gudiyattam near vellore, his son had a daughter and when enquired what child he told "pora sothu" {going asset"). Still Asset isnt it?

Sri. Manohar Kumar,

Thanks for your kind words. She is studying to become a Registered Nurse now. Later on if she wishes, she can write entrance exam to enrol in medecine. It is up to her. She is very independent. She doesn't even take money from us for expenses; actually stopped asking about 2 years ago. She would work hard ( in MacDonalds. She is now promoted as the managress for one section). She bus so many expensive presents for Christmas, birthdays... she has a long list too. Spends like over $1,000 every Christmas. Then she pays for her own holidays...

We don't consider children as assets ( not that anything wrong with that, if considered fondly). I and my wife enjoyed ourselves, produced couple of children. It is our responsibility to guide them, help them and be there for them until they get settled well on their feet. Thankfully, we can afford to be very relaxed. Nice to know you are from Gudiyattam. I used to work in NTTF Tool Room ( Now it has lost its glory) near Vellore. Used to spend lot of time admiring the Nurses in CMC Hospital!

Cheers!

 

[Raji Ram]

............. I still remeber the words spoken by the gurukkal of karupleeswarar temple in our town gudiyattam near vellore, his son had a daughter and when enquired what child he told "pora sothu" {going asset"). ......

'pORa soththu' reminds me of what I heard in an 'upanyAsam'. Every daughter is loved dearly by her parents because

humans have a tendency to love ''other's property''!! Howzzzzzat?? :eyebrows:

 

[renuka]

Why Nurse Raghy Sir, why not a doctor specializing in any field and you can proudly say father of a such a great Dr. Daughters are gift of the almighty ( sons also but then sons are sons!!)

Dear sir,

I have seen many of my classmates who really did not want to study MBBS but were forced by family.

Their parents wanted to be proud parents of doctors but never realized what their children really wanted.

So it is important that a child chooses a field he/she likes.

As long a child is happy..that should make any parent happy.

Being a doctor comes with ups and down.

I am a doctor and I wanted to be a doctor but frankly speaking I do not really enjoy my job these days.
Many doctors complain the same too.

At every doctor meetings we go each doctor is complaining about sickening and irritating patients.

One has to be so defensive in the medical field cos we have no idea what patients might legally do if things do not go right.


I like medical related subjects but I do not like the human contact part becos sometimes we are forced to behave ourselves and speak politely and patiently when we might not be feeling that way.

So there is little co ordination of words and thoughts.

After a while as we age we would prefer less human contact in job.

That's why when I was in the government hospital I always preferred the morgue cos the humans there are silent!!

 

[kk4646]

Dear sir,

I have seen many of my classmates who really did not want to study MBBS but were forced by family.

Their parents wanted to be proud parents of doctors but never realized what their children really wanted.

So it is important that a child chooses a field he/she likes.

As long a child is happy..that should make any parent happy.

Being a doctor comes with ups and down.

I am a doctor and I wanted to be a doctor but frankly speaking I do not really enjoy my job these days.
Many doctors complain the same too.

At every doctor meetings we go each doctor is complaining about sickening and irritating patients.

One has to be so defensive in the medical field cos we have no idea what patients might legally do if things do not go right.


I like medical related subjects but I do not like the human contact part becos sometimes we are forced to behave ourselves and speak politely and patiently when we might not be feeling that way.

So there is little co ordination of words and thoughts.

After a while as we age we would prefer less human contact in job.

That's why when I was in the government hospital I always preferred the morgue cos the humans there are silent!!

"That's why when I was in the government hospital I always preferred the morgue cos the humans there are silent!!["

Ha..Ha.. Now only I understand why all GHOSTS wants to be your friend...!!

TVK

 

[Raji Ram]

........... That's why when I was in the government hospital I always preferred the morgue cos the humans there are silent!!

And they don't need any treatment!!

 

[Raji Ram]

:focus:

The couple may be enjoying and celebrating their separation - happily divorced - but what about the kid/ kids??

One of my music students married very late and was blessed with a baby boy within two years. Her husband was

keen in helping his three sisters all the time and it paved way to their daily arguments. Meanwhile, her mother passed

away and father had to live alone. She wanted her husband to relocate to her father's house but her husband insisted

that her father should relocate to his house! They are not divorced yet but live separately for the past five years.

Now the little boy is becoming more more arrogant because all his friends are dropped at school by their respective fathers!! :car:

 

[Raghy]

Sowbagyavathy Raji Ram, Greetings.

I refer to your message in post #144. ( Act to restrict. Correct penal code too! 144 to divorce!). Happily divorced, what about the kids? Good and sensible question. You are right. If the kid/s are grown up and moved out, such divorce wouldn't matter. But when the kids are dependent, it matters a lot.

But then, when the kids are grown and moved out, when the responsibilities are fulfilled, when the mortgage is paid off... then a new page in life starts. Not to enjoy that pleasure is idiotic. Real life only starts there!

Cheers!

 

[Raghy]

And they don't need any treatment!!

Sowbagyavathy Raji Ram, Greetings.

Don't think so. Mortuary patients are more difficult than the ward patients and out patients. Mortuary patients don't explain any symptoms. They talk very little. Can't check the pulse to figure out the condition. Could be a septic shock, but wouldn't show in change in blood pressure or temperature. Poor doctor still have to workout the cause for kicking the bucket. Can be very important in Coronor's court in the future date. After rigor-mortis sets in, all the organs look the same in colour... not a walk in the park. Plus the usual ghosts!

Cheers!

 

[tbs]

hi
in divorce or separation...the kids are victims....poor kids....i always think abt disfunctional kids....the family is foundation of the nation...divorce may be happy for parents....its really hell for the kids.....

 

[prasad1]

hi
in divorce or separation...the kids are victims....poor kids....i always think abt disfunctional kids....the family is foundation of the nation...divorce may be happy for parents....its really hell for the kids.....

That is not true. Divorce is accepting a failure of relationship. It is never happy. Yes children suffer, but sometimes they too would prefer that there parents separate, than see the daily bickering escalating to violence.

 

[tbs]

That is not true. Divorce is accepting a failure of relationship. It is never happy. Yes children suffer, but sometimes they too would prefer that there parents separate, than see the daily bickering escalating to violence.

hi
i said MAY BE HAPPY....there is no rose without any thorn......there is no lotus without muddy water....

adikkara kai thaan anaikkum....anaikkara kai thaan adikkum...so divorce is not a correct solution....try to avoid at any cost....

 

[Raji Ram]

மனம் பொருந்தாத திருமணம்!

மனம் பொருந்தாத திருமணம் இன்னா; (manam porundhAdha thirumaNam innA)
மனம் வேறுபட்டு உழல்வது இன்னா; (manam vERupattu uzhalvathu innA)

உடலால் மட்டும் சேர்வது இன்னா; (udalAl mattum sEvathu innA)
அதனால் பிள்ளைகள் பெறுவது இன்னா; (athanAl piLLaigaL peruvathu innA)

அடிக்கடி வந்திடும் சண்டைகள் இன்னா; (adikkadi vandhidum chandaigaL innA)
அடிதடியாய் அவை மாறுவது இன்னா; (adithadiyAy avai mAruvathu innA)

இனிய உறவுகள் கெடுவது இன்னா; (iniya uRavugaL keduvadhu innA)
தனிமை தேடும் விவாகரத்து இன்னா! (thanimai thEdum vivAgaraththu innA)

:ballchain:

P.S: Thanglish for Prasad Sir!! :typing: