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[krish44]

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Preethi

I feel good that you are taking time to decide.

If you remain steadfast, you are bound to realise your objectives

Time favours you and the society will have to change to enable women like you to make their own choices independantly .It is your right in fact to decide which is

getting appropriated by some thrusting their caste preferances.

You will win .

My best wishes

 

[Vaagmi]

Preethi

I feel good that you are taking time to decide.

If you remain steadfast, you are bound to realise your objectives

Time favours you and the society will have to change to enable women like you to make their own choices independantly .It is your right in fact to decide which is

getting appropriated by some thrusting their caste preferances.

You will win .

My best wishes

Preetiben

The goading remains unabated from parents who have already lost their theme. Be careful. Ignore them and use your brain.

 

[Lalit]

Much thought has to be given for the marital life that you may have to lead after IC marriage. Adequate thought has to be focussed on the upbringing of the children and giving them the correct values and priorities in life. As of now, it may not be an exaggeration if it is stated that many children of TB mother and non-TB father are unable to get suitable matches and some are even facing identity crisis - not accepted by either community and feeling deserted by both the communities and are forced to remain single or seek their own marital partners!

So, Preeti, take an informed decision. Do remember, an error of a moment can become sorrow for life and it will be foolish to act in haste and to repent in leisure!

 

[renuka]

3. Reason for posting: May be because of the fervent desire of getting a green signal (yes my heart wants it, I am being frank). Also due to the fact that I want to close this stressing problem.

Dear Preeti,

If you are actually looking for a green signal to match with the beat of your heart which is saying Yes Yes Yes..than I think you already know the answer.

The mind always only seeks the answers it wants..and that is the only signal the eye will pick up and make the heart beat in the direction of desire.

In that case..May the Force be with you.

 

[krish44]

Preetiben

The goading remains unabated from parents who have already lost their theme. Be careful. Ignore them and use your brain.

Only Vaagmiji will advise use of brains on matters concerning Heart,

Learn from the doctor in this forum.lol

 

[a-TB]

Preethi seem to be a strong willed young woman who has said she is going to wait.

She is capable of making her own decision.

No one needs to 'save' her from her friend and his caste Or from the clutches of her parents.

 

[vgane]

I think Preethi will take a decision keeping the interests of her parents, siblings and society at large...One needs to be a role model in society and not be carried away by cupids pull alone!

 

[renuka]

When it comes to marriage..one does not have to think about mother,father,mama or machan's feelings.

All one has to do is ask one's self a few questions:

1)Can I make this decision of marriage myself and be responsible for the outcome of any kind?

2)Do I need to support of family just in case it does not work out?

3)Can I cope with the responsibility of marriage?

4)In cases of IC marriage..Can I cope with the major changes that are bound to be happen?

5)In cases of IR marriage..Can I really follow another religion or even compromise?

6)Can I tolerate being surrounded by people that are not in my wave length and mindset in terms of culture or lifestyle?

7)Why am I even asking myself this questions?



If one has answered No to Questions 1 to 6..dont marry

If one has answered Yes to Questions 1 to 6..try the questions again after a few day..no one would dare answer all 100% Yes.

So what is the right answer if one has a mix of yes and no?

the right answer is in Question No 7.."Why am I even asking myself this questions?
That answer only we would know and then make the decision.




This should be enough..when it comes to one's own life some decisions are best made in selfish mode..think of self first only then appa /amma or mama/ machan sentiments.

 

[Raji Ram]

Thoughts after reading Renu's post .....

In the past generations most of the weddings brought two families together. (the word 'Wedding' has 'We' before 'I'.)

In the new generation, a few marriages bring two individuals together. (the word marriage starts with 'mar'!)

But, in most of the cases parents compromise, more so if they are dependent on their children!

 

[renuka]

Love marriages should not be feared.

Lord Shiva and Parvati...love marriage.

Madurai Meenakshi and Lord Sundaresan..Love marriage...happy couple.

Lord Krishna had love marriages and all lasted.

Andal and Lord Vishnu had love marriage and Andal become deified...lasting marriage.

But only Lord Rama had an arranged marriage and it did not last...they got separated.

Moral of the story: Lovvu is NO sin..follow the path of God!

 

[tbs]

Love marriages should not be feared.

Lord Shiva and Parvati...love marriage.

Madurai Meenakshi and Lord Sundaresan..Love marriage...happy couple.

Lord Krishna had love marriages and all lasted.

Andal and Lord Vishnu had love marriage and Andal become deified...lasting marriage.

But only Lord Rama had an arranged marriage and it did not last...they got separated.

Moral of the story: Lovvu is NO sin..follow the path of God!

hi renu,

but u had arranged...is it correct?....this is just for OORUKKU UPADESAM.....

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

J J Ji!


And, it is an intelligent way of keeping children by their side (for dependent parents)! :hug:

Worried that children may desert You! Here is another intelligent solution!

பெண்ணும் Sonம் கை விட்டாலும் இறுதிவரை கை கொடுப்பது LIC PENSION Scheme! - contact Cell xxxxxx I

 

[rishikesan]

Dear Renuka, We have had our opinions expressed in this forum earlier many times. We had differed more , bur later you found me really interested in the Tamil Brahmins progress from the Heart & even appreciated me , if not encouraged.
Now, after reading your # 5 I am extremely pleased not because your Advice is practicable keep parents Happy , not to fall for Love because marrying outside the community , hurts for life & ultimately it is the Family , brother & parents would come to her help at all times. Illusion now a days are not Real. It is only Enchantment There can be permanent PEACE in future for her only if she follows the parents , Who else can ever replace ? Matha/ Pithacan not be changed ?
I never, really expected you to give such clear Advice ( i normally expect that you support the girls differently / just the opposite ) I convey my Pleasant Surprise. May God Bless you .
A.Srinivasan ( Rishikesan )

 

[krish44]

When it comes to marriage..one does not have to think about mother,father,mama or machan's feelings.

All one has to do is ask one's self a few questions:

1)Can I make this decision of marriage myself and be responsible for the outcome of any kind?

2)Do I need to support of family just in case it does not work out?

3)Can I cope with the responsibility of marriage?

4)In cases of IC marriage..Can I cope with the major changes that are bound to be happen?

5)In cases of IR marriage..Can I really follow another religion or even compromise?

6)Can I tolerate being surrounded by people that are not in my wave length and mindset in terms of culture or lifestyle?

7)Why am I even asking myself this questions?



If one has answered No to Questions 1 to 6..dont marry

If one has answered Yes to Questions 1 to 6..try the questions again after a few day..no one would dare answer all 100% Yes.

So what is the right answer if one has a mix of yes and no?

the right answer is in Question No 7.."Why am I even asking myself this questions?
That answer only we would know and then make the decision.




This should be enough..when it comes to one's own life some decisions are best made in selfish mode..think of self first only then appa /amma or mama/ machan sentiments.

Questions and answers - is Preethi going for vivavoci exam for getting married?lol

mature will ignore all this and do what their hearts say

it does nor require someone to say think of yourself.

most are smart enough to decide what is best for themselves

 

[Raji Ram]

Worried that children may desert You! Here is another intelligent solution!

பெண்ணும் Sonம் கை விட்டாலும் இறுதிவரை கை கொடுப்பது LIC PENSION Scheme! - contact Cell xxxxxx I

I hope it is an advice in general and NOT for ME!! :lol:

Me always

 

[Raji Ram]

Wow! Pension has pen(N) and son in itself!! :clap2:

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Love marriages should not be feared.



But only Lord Rama had an arranged marriage and it did not last...they got separated.

Moral of the story: Lovvu is NO sin..follow the path of God!

Rama is Kadal Kalyana Rama in Tamil version அண்ணலும் நோக்கினான் அவளும் நோக்கினாள் !

Kadal kadal Kadal - Kadal poyin Sadal ! Ettayapuram Bharathi

Davu davu davuda davillatie die da RK Puram Pakkiri

Tamil's mandated vision and Mission - One eye Kaadal the other eye Veeram"


அண்ணலும் நோக்கினான்
அவளும் நோக்கினாள்
அடுத்தநாள் அவளப்பன்
அரிவாள் தூக்கினான் .

சுசீந்திரன்

Moral of the story: Lovvu is sin.. do not follow the path of God! In the end unite after a blood bath!

 

[Raji Ram]

.........
அண்ணலும் நோக்கினான்
அவளும் நோக்கினாள்
அடுத்தநாள் அவளப்பன்
அரிவாள் தூக்கினான் .
..........

:lol: ​That 'appan' will not be a tambram mAmA!! :nono:

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

:lol: ​That 'appan' will not be a tambram mAmA!! :nono:

Brahmins are not Tamils? No veeram ? May be No DNA - Dravidan Nucelic Acid!

 

[Raji Ram]

Brahmins are not Tamils? No veeram ? .....

I wrote about tambram mAmAs!!

:gossip: There is a nick name which is the Tamil word for curd rice.

 

[vgane]

I wrote about tambram mAmAs!!

:gossip: There is a nick name which is the Tamil word for curd rice.

That's because as a community we do not help our own brethren in dire need ..We prefer a protected life..No chance of visiting a police station or a court to support....Are we ready to take the 'arivaal' if our near and dear are in trouble..Let us remove our inhibitions and be ready to take the plunge..Society is pushing us hard & taking us for granted...

Come what may, but we need to have our children supporting us..We need to be a beacon of hope for our children...The last thing that can happen is our own children ditching us...Be a guide, a friend and a support to them

 

[krish44]

Vganeji

All this talk of supporting is a fond wish.

Most parents are not supportive of their own children when they need them most.

When the children get drawn towards amatch from a NB community or some one from another religion ,they in case do not support it should be capable of finding an

equally good match if not better from their own community.They only act negatively opposing it . There is no positive action from them. Many girls out of desperation -

poor home conditions with no likelihood of a decent marriage in near future are forced into relationship promising a better future. Most Parents cannot guarantee it ,

nor can they take desperate measures like violence or hitting back at those eyeing their girls in view of their satvik qualities.I do know some parents who go prospective

boys from other communities /religion to beg them to leave their girls alone . It was depicted nicely in film/novel" Two mates" by chetan bhagat

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Vganeji

All this talk of supporting is a fond wish.

Most parents are not supportive of their own children when they need them most.

When the children get drawn towards amatch from a NB community or some one from another religion ,they in case do not support it should be capable of finding an

equally good match if not better from their own community.They only act negatively opposing it . There is no positive action from them. Many girls out of desperation -

poor home conditions with no likelihood of a decent marriage in near future are forced into relationship promising a better future. Most Parents cannot guarantee it ,

nor can they take desperate measures like violence or hitting back at those eyeing their girls in view of their satvik qualities.I do know some parents who go prospective

boys from other communities /religion to beg them to leave their girls alone . It was depicted nicely in film/novel" Two mates" by chetan bhagat

This the basic problem!



From biscuit to brides, if there is anything their children really want, parents have a problem.”
― Chetan Bhagat, 2 States: The Story of My Marriage

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Ganesh,

Taking aRuvaL (also known as arivAL) is not going to solve the problem! Most of the brahmin girls do not want

conservative / orthodox / traditional life style of brahmins and that is the basic problem now a days.
Also, our 'Ambi's have to educate themselves well and secure high paid jobs to match brahmin girls! opcorn:

 

[krish44]

Dear Ganesh,

Taking aRuvaL (also known as arivAL) is not going to solve the problem! Most of the brahmin girls do not want

conservative / orthodox / traditional life style of brahmins and that is the basic problem now a days.
Also, our 'Ambi's have to educate themselves well and secure high paid jobs to match brahmin girls! opcorn:

Is there a basic need for brahmin boys to give up their traditional lifestyle giving up the rituals , language typical of brahmins and giving up the distinguishing marks on

them separating them from other communities. How many parents will accept that?

Of course , education and high paid jobs is the aspiration of all girls and parents also. But all boys cannot qualify .Should they not get wives? These are pretty harsh

terms for marrying anyone. Why not a match based on matching of hobbies ,interests besides some education and job with a decent salary . Girls should be

prepared to marry boys earning less than them , if all other criterion are met for a decent match.What happens if the girls salary becomes more than the husband after marriage. Would

they go in for divorce?. In 2008 ,when many boys lost their jobs in IT sector, their working wives supported them for more than a year in some cases. Recently I came across a Doctorate ,

aged 45yrs hanging around without a job for more tan a year after spending years abroad.His wife in an ordinary job is running the family supporting husband and kid