How much do parents owe their children for bringing them into this world?

[tbs]

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Age is no bar when it comes to being practical.

Its also being responsible so that others do not suffer when we are dead.

hi renumma,

do not suffer when we are dead.....

who knows after our death....they suffer or not....just MAYA thinking....this world is full of uncertainties....prepared for unprepared...

 

[renuka]

hi renumma,

do not suffer when we are dead.....

who knows after our death....they suffer or not....just MAYA thinking....this world is full of uncertainties....prepared for unprepared...

Agreed but at least we still need to do our responsibilities..otherwise why have children if we cant be responsible?

 

[krish44]

Agreed but at least we still need to do our responsibilities..otherwise why have children if we cant be responsible?

renuka ji no need to be an Atlas carrying more than legitimate responsibilties.You might get crushed by the sheer weight of responsibilties.
leave some responsibilities also for next generation .many are dying to have them.lol

 

[ashwin_ash]

hi renumma,

do not suffer when we are dead.....

who knows after our death....they suffer or not....just MAYA thinking....this world is full of uncertainties....prepared for unprepared...

Let's not drag Ms Maya into this. Doctor's stating cold reality and being practical. We should laud her rational approach and try to emulate. In fact, it was in KL..no Petaling Jaya that I got a huge dose of reality.

Me and a friend were walking back after dinner..it was Ramadan season..bus guy jumped traffic light.. huge thud and we saw a human (being, or body?) being thrown on the other side of the road..gone in a second. Moments earlier, I'd berated my friend for kicking a pepsi can into a storm water sewer..he was like 'you fret too much about the small stuff'..and I got a real lesson in 'small' moments later.

 

[renuka]

renuka ji no need to be an Atlas carrying more than legitimate responsibilties.You might get crushed by the sheer weight of responsibilties.
leave some responsibilities also for next generation .many are dying to have them.lol

Crushed?? How?? By doing our duties?

I can never sit down doing nothing..I always have to do something or the other.In fact if I have nothing to do I might become restless.Never ever been "lazy" in my life.

Need to be active all the time.If I have really nothing to do I will start playing my piano.

 

[krish44]

Crushed?? How?? By doing our duties?

I can never sit down doing nothing..I always have to do something or the other.In fact if I have nothing to do I might become restless.Never ever been "lazy" in my life.

Need to be active all the time.If I have really nothing to do I will start playing my piano.[/QU
. Often the word responsibility is daunting. Many would not like to take family responsibilties at all. Many political leaders would prefer to be in jail than running their families. it is their wives who run their families.Many socialite ladies prefer to work for social causes and leave bringing up kids to their maids and husbands can either be an appendage or provide for family. responsibility is a big word . it might mean different things to people. so let us not take the responsibility bit too much seriously. responsibility is self defined . if you think you have no responsibility,you will be pardoned and somebody else will take up your role after cursing you a bit.

 

[ashwin_ash]

Crushed?? How?? By doing our duties?

I can never sit down doing nothing..I always have to do something or the other.In fact if I have nothing to do I might become restless.Never ever been "lazy" in my life.

Need to be active all the time.If I have really nothing to do I will start playing my piano.

Classic OCD symptoms.

 

[tbs]

hi

see the latest abt bill gates...nice advice our kids....


?????? ????????? ???????? ????? ???????? ???? ?????? - Dinamani - Tamil Daily News

 

[krish44]

hi

see the latest abt bill gates...nice advice our kids....


?????? ????????? ???????? ????? ???????? ???? ?????? - Dinamani - Tamil Daily News

it is no great deal tbsji .we have been cleaning our plates for a lifetime as a matter of habit . In another incident in delhi a deranged person sprinkled 100 re notes from ITO bridge on public bringing traffic to a halt .lots of people scrambled to collect these notes which were real.you do not have to be bill gates for achieving these feats

 

[renuka]

Classic OCD symptoms.

Nope..you are wrong.

 

[vgane]

Dear Sravna,

There are people who do not plan anything but make life for others hell in that process..they rule by iron fist!LOL

Ok Sravna..lets be practical:

In life we at least need to have these plans:


1) In case marriage fails...we need to make sure we have a a steady source of income for ourselves and kids...so its important for a woman to have a job.

2) In case we die..we need to make sure our dependents do not suffer..so make a will and safe up some so that our kids and spouse will have some money.

3)In case spouse dies..we need to make sure a steady source of income for ourselves and kids...so always make a will so that no relatives will contest anything in court.

4)In case our health fails..we need to have medical insurance.

5)In case in old age we get kicked out of the house by kids..so make sure they only inherit property upon our death..hence make a will.

6)In case we cant stand our daughter in law or son in law or cant stand the idea of grandkids running around making noise..make sure we locate a good home with facilities to keep us happy..for a good old age home we need to have some money..so safe up from now.

Excellent! To this add -In case I loose my job as main bread earner, I should have emergency savings amounting to one year of my expenses which can be used during this period, assuming it takes that much time to get another job with same pay & perks

 

[ashwin_ash]

Nope..you are wrong.

Mania, paranoia, ADHD, anxiety neurosis, schizoid personality disorder, catatonic schizophrenia, dementia..etc?? Which fits you best?

 

[renuka]

Mania, paranoia, ADHD, anxiety neurosis, schizoid personality disorder..etc??

Now you are getting near the "glamorous" list of mental illnesses..who wants the less glamorous disorders!

 

[renuka]

BTW we need to beware of some type of parents who will preach to other parents that they wont do this or that for their children but they secretly do the opposite for their children.

I remember when I was going to study MBBS one female relative was telling my mother that she would never send her daughter to do MBBS cos its a risky field and she does not want her daughter to die by contracting HIV from some patient and went on telling my mum that she would not want to pay for her daughters college and want her to be independent blah blah and self made etc.

Finally that female relative sent her daughter for MBBS and also made sure her daughter married a doctor.

She was the types who like to discourage others so that only her child will shine.

So beware of such parents..not everyone wishes well for others.

 

[rishikesan]

Dear all, I feel satisfied reading varied views based on practicability, by so many in the forum. Some aspects of members opinions reflect reality of good and bad situations arising in our life, more so when grown up children are married and live their lives with our grand children., in U.S mostly. Lets approach the situation practically. I express my opinion in an objective way and one has to apply the same with his situation ,ensuring his welfare uppermost in mind and for the wellbeing of his spouse. This is for elderly couple who live in India keep the best relations with their sons and daughters in U.S. In the meanwhile it is a must that he must, I repeat must ensure keep fluid money for I'll health and any eventuality. The money provided by children also could be included in this, ultimately I am sure that most of children do not leave their parents as well as Inlaws in the lurch. , even if they are unable to be physically present, though he/she would also desire to be beside you.


All facilities are there for almost all of us fortunate parents, Imean conversing with the children and grand children very often and by this way one can easily develop much needed love ores bother so thstthe sons and daughters would in their own way ensure quick action to help financially for medical needs and also vizier Ito console as and when required.
I can only suggest , because of my practical experiences, that Do talk to them over phone as often as possible to ensure continuous exchange of good & bad informations, so that they can be made to get attached at the critical juncture willingly. It should not be like this/ that is Out of touch / Out of mind Never show superiority. Listen to them & do things which are desired by them, especially minor , but important for them., may br trivial for you.
If you have to deal with your Son, the golden rule is first have the good will of daughter-in mlaw & she will ensure that your problems are attended to ? One thing is for sure;- this is also the experience of majority of parents I mean the daughters are loving/ understanding / problem solving to your needs , may be it is through her husband, who would normally be amenable to Inlaws.
Sincerely,
Rishikesan

 

[vgane]

Worship your parents on 14 Feb..Government of Chhattisgarh has started this..May be antidote to Valentine day!

Good initiative for our youth who were going berserk with Western ideas!

 

[sravna]

Worship your parents on 14 Feb..Government of Chhattisgarh has started this..May be antidote to Valentine day!

Good initiative for our youth who were going berserk with Western ideas!

All of western ideas try to work on a person's weaknesses. This philosophy is pervasive in their approaches

 

[renuka]

All of western ideas work on a person's weaknesses. This philosophy is pervasive in their approaches

Dear Sravna,

Why do you say so?

Even though I am no fan of Valentine's day but I do not think its works on someone's weakness.It is just that its a different culture thats all.

BTW I feel we Indians should have Sant Vatsyayana's day cos Sant Vatsyayana has contributed to the world a classic masterpiece of Romance and the Art of Love.

 

[sravna]

Dear Sravna,

Why do you say so?

Even though I am no fan of Valentine's day but I do not think its works on someone's weakness.It is just that its a different culture thats all.

BTW I feel we Indians should have Sant Vatsyayana's day cos Sant Vatsyayana has contributed to the world a classic masterpiece of Romance and the Art of Love.

Renuka,

It is a general observation on western approach to exerting influence on others.

 

[ashwin_ash]

Dear Sravna,

Why do you say so?

Even though I am no fan of Valentine's day but I do not think its works on someone's weakness.It is just that its a different culture thats all.

BTW I feel we Indians should have Sant Vatsyayana's day cos Sant Vatsyayana has contributed to the world a classic masterpiece of Romance and the Art of Love.

Yeah, and doctors can help their patients in the literal interpretation of that sacred masterpiece

 

[renuka]

Renuka,

It is a general observation on western approach to exerting influence on others.

Well..even East is the same..everyone exerts influence on others.We too have our celebrations that we expect people to follow.

 

[renuka]

Yeah, and doctors can help their patients in the literal interpretation of that sacred masterpiece

True..in fact someone should rewrite that masterpiece from the medical point of view.

 

[krish44]

Dear all, I feel satisfied reading varied views based on practicability, by so many in the forum. Some aspects of members opinions reflect reality of good and bad situations arising in our life, more so when grown up children are married and live their lives with our grand children., in U.S mostly. Lets approach the situation practically. I express my opinion in an objective way and one has to apply the same with his situation ,ensuring his welfare uppermost in mind and for the wellbeing of his spouse. This is for elderly couple who live in India keep the best relations with their sons and daughters in U.S. In the meanwhile it is a must that he must, I repeat must ensure keep fluid money for I'll health and any eventuality. The money provided by children also could be included in this, ultimately I am sure that most of children do not leave their parents as well as Inlaws in the lurch. , even if they are unable to be physically present, though he/she would also desire to be beside you.


All facilities are there for almost all of us fortunate parents, Imean conversing with the children and grand children very often and by this way one can easily develop much needed love ores bother so thstthe sons and daughters would in their own way ensure quick action to help financially for medical needs and also vizier Ito console as and when required.
I can only suggest , because of my practical experiences, that Do talk to them over phone as often as possible to ensure continuous exchange of good & bad informations, so that they can be made to get attached at the critical juncture willingly. It should not be like this/ that is Out of touch / Out of mind Never show superiority. Listen to them & do things which are desired by them, especially minor , but important for them., may br trivial for you.
If you have to deal with your Son, the golden rule is first have the good will of daughter-in mlaw & she will ensure that your problems are attended to ? One thing is for sure;- this is also the experience of majority of parents I mean the daughters are loving/ understanding / problem solving to your needs , may be it is through her husband, who would normally be amenable to Inlaws.
Sincerely,
Rishikesan

I appears That
parents have educated and brought up their children only to donate them to DIL and foreign countries.
To expect them to suck up to their DILs and expecting them to chase their busy sons is asking for too much
no self respecting parent can and should do it . some can be taken to court . file a case in india and abroad if they do not respond.write to the company they are working for and teach them a lesson . I am all for it

 

[krish44]

Well..even East is the same..everyone exerts influence on others.We too have our celebrations that we expect people to follow.

there is nothing wrong in children celebrating valentine day or any other day of their choice. why should anyone mind it . I am puzzled. Unfortunately there were no such days in our time . I am unable to understand this hostility or liking towards it

 

[Haridasa Siva]

Thank you, K for initiating this discussion.

I sympathise with Indian parents in their 60s now. The world has changed for them drastically. When they raised their children, they had hopes that these “saplings” would grow to be “big trees” to give them “shade”. But the kids of 80s and 90s have grown in a “globalized world” (euphemism for western influence!:eyebrows and that has dealt the baby boomers a big blow. But then, each one is right from his/her own perspective.

Talking of people in their 40s now, I am not sure whether their attitude towards their children is any different from what it was for people in their 60s now.