I C and I R weddings!

[Raji Ram]

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..... ஊருக்கு தான் உபதேசம்....அது எனக்கு இல்லை....

Yeah! :thumb:

 

[renuka]

In my society we saw a Tambrahm mami wearing a light colored saree & was going out..But her face looked forlorn & dejected..Is there some death in the family...We wondered..But, when we enquired later, we realized she was going to attend wedding of her only daughter with a North Indian based boy.I really pitied her..But youngsters do not care for their parents likes & dislikes..They have overgrown..May be when they get wisdom it is too late in the day!!

As a parent I have learnt not to impose my likes and dislikes on a child.

Its nothing but our personal desires.

Surely I would prefer my son to grow up and marry a Hindu but if that does not happen I cant feel bad..cos at the end of the day whatever will be will be.

A mature mind realizes that there is a Higher Power operating..Takdir or Karma..that is what finally decides our destiny..we come..we see and we never conquer.

After all we have no idea what community we were born into in a previous life and what community we would be born into in next life.

So which identity is permanent?

Nothing?

 

[krish44]

Renukaji

Stop being philosophical.

In a muslim country, all hindus are bound to have jitters.

Muslim girls are nice to have in family.

They make wonderful DIL

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Create a spouse &. marry !

https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/04/chinese-man-marries-robot-built-himself

 

[Raji Ram]

Many Muslim girls are pretty but spending time in their sweet home will be a bit difficult for vegetarian brahmins. :sad:

I had a very close friend ( a day scholar) in college and she was very fond of me and my mom. Once, mom came to take me

for a short holiday, from our hostel and this girl wanted us to visit her sweet home on our way. Mom agreed. But, when we

entered her house, we felt OMG! Each window had at least two cats / kittens tied to the grill and the house was smelling cat!

There were some other smells added to this. We could hardly stay for a few minutes!

Moral: Even if Muslim girl enters our family, better to avoid visiting their house!

 

[Raji Ram]

.... https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/04/chinese-man-marries-robot-built-himself

The news in quote says:

1. “You won’t have her mother looking down on you, you don’t have the pressure to buy a home and you get to save

money and energy,” one user wrote on WeChat, a popular social network.

2. “He’ll slowly get old, his face will become wrinkled and his hair will grow white – but will he upgrade her to grow old, or just

to be prettier?” another user asked.

Agreed with comment 1.

The Q in comment 2 is easy to answer! He will NOT make her grow old! Have we not seen mAmAs with grey hair whereas

mAmis like to appear young and hence color their hair.

 

[krish44]

Rajiramji

Many admire the Avaiyar look when it comes to women.

We look for Amma figure in women.

There are many fighting for Amma legacy and amma being added to their names.

Who would like to be left behind in the race to be amma in tamilnadu?

 

[Raji Ram]

But, Krish Sir, Amma was also coloring her hair now and then, to look as young Amma!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Now a days, age or size does NOT have any effect in dressing sense of some senior women!

I saw many of them wearing showy blouses with lot of stone and zari work done at the back.

Some were awful because these blouses showed the parts which are not scrubbed regularly! :lol:

 

[krish44]

Now a days, age or size does NOT have any effect in dressing sense of some senior women!

I saw many of them wearing showy blouses with lot of stone and zari work done at the back.

Some were awful because these blouses showed the parts which are not scrubbed regularly! :lol:

Probably men have stopped scrubbing the back of these women.lol

 

[Raji Ram]

Probably men have stopped scrubbing the back of these women.lol

ound:

 

[biswa]

RRji, have you considered completely boycotting these IC/IR marriages?

 

[krish44]

Biswaji

Are you trying for IC/IR match at your age

We will stand by you.

None I assure will boycott you on that account

 

[Raji Ram]

RRji, have you considered completely boycotting these IC/IR marriages?

Dear Biswa Sir,

Though I consider that I C and I R weddings are NOT necessary, I have attended a few I C weddings in my relatives and

friends circles. These happened with the consent of the parents of the couple. If parents oppose, I don't attend these.

Easy decision, right?

 

[CHANDRU1849]

What is the success rate of IC/IR marriages? Is any study related to this available, or at least hearsay?

 

[GANESH65]

I think posts 42 & 48 of this thread will throw some light to your query.

 

[GANESH65]

I got this a couple of days back through my personal E-mail

Hallo Ganesh ji
I just got a chance to go through your posts regarding I/C marriages among Tamil Brahmins. It just came to my mind that I should also share my experience with you since you have conducted some studies on this subject. Mine is also falls in the same category. I belong to a Brahmin family from Tanjore and my husband is a Muslim. Both of us were working for same company as Engineers with I T background and got attracted towards each other and got married with stringent opposition of both the families. Since survival was very difficult for us at that time (it happened in May 2005) we had to leave our jobs and native place. He somehow managed to get a Job with an Australian Company and also succeeded in getting me a Job also through some of his friends there. Now we are leading a very happy life with our 8 year old daughter. Sad part is our parents still could not adjust with the facts till now I am unable to convince them even after 12 years have since been passed. He also lost his parents during this time and his only brother did not bother to inform him about these sad incidents. If we leave these incidents, our life is full of happiness. I have not changed and still worship as per my faith and so is he. We did not change our faiths and we don’t find any difficulties due to that. We are trying to teach our daughter about the importance of both of our faiths and have decided to allow her to follow her choice as and when she is mature enough to understand about religions. You can treat ours as the 5th successful I/C marriage of your studies if you want. By this time, I am sure; you must have understood that I also am a member of this forum.

Don't know what to say to this Lady. So her mail remains not replied. However her courage and commitment to protect her marriage surely needs some applause, what do the forum think?

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Ganesh Sir,

The member thought you are 'vgane', also Ganesh, who prepared a chart on I C, I R weddings

sometime back in forum. I know you will be wondering when you collected that statistics!!

 

[Raji Ram]

BTW, a Brahmin - Muslim wedding is not I C wedding; it is I R wedding!

 

[renuka]

I got this a couple of days back through my personal E-mail



Don't know what to say to this Lady. So her mail remains not replied. However her courage and commitment to protect her marriage surely needs some applause, what do the forum think?

As long she is happy thats all that matters.

She seems balanced and has instilled values in her child to respect both faiths and let her make their own decision at an older age.

Both husband and wife really respect each others faith..well true Love does exists.

Ishwar Allah Tere Naam
..surely God has blessed this family with Sanmathi.

Sometimes as we age..happiness matters most.

Whoever this member is.. if you are reading my post...may God bless you and your family forever.

Ganesh ji..i just hope by you pasting her personal email here..it does not make anyone write harsh comments.

 

[Raji Ram]

Ganesh (vgane) collected only the number of I C / I R / within community weddings.

But I don't remember whether it also revealed how many were successful! Any idea?

 

[Vaagmi]

As long she is happy thats all that matters.

She seems balanced and has instilled values in her child to respect both faiths and let her make their own decision at an older age.
Both husband and wife really respect each others faith..well true Love does exists.
Ishwar Allah Tere Naam
..surely God has blessed this family with Sanmathi.
Sometimes as we age..happiness matters most.
Whoever this member is.. if you are reading my post...may God bless you and your family forever.
Ganesh ji..i just hope by you pasting her personal email here..it does not make anyone write harsh comments.

That is only one way of looking at it.

Now let us look at it again from another drishtikone:

As long she is happy thats all that matters.

Happiness is a slippery term.

Her parents are not happy obviously. His parents were not happy either.They are suffering the pain and the pain is going to remain there for ever. When we cause pain to others the happiness we get is not happiness as it is tinged with sorrow. Period.

She seems balanced and has instilled values in her child to respect both faiths and let her make their own decision at an older age.

She has just introduced confusion in her child's mind. And not values. A child does not understand higher philosophy. Does not know how to sublimate things. It perhaps silently suffers when compared to another child which is moving ahead even casting religion aside because it is sure that it belongs to a certain religion.

Both husband and wife really respect each others faith..well true Love does exists.

Religious faith is not about tastes which affect the taste buds and nor is it about fancies as to the color of a dress which looks good on a person. It is about belief and principles at a far higher plane. You can have true love and yet have strong differences. There is no need to paper over the differences this way.

Whoever this member is.. if you are reading my post...may God bless you and your family forever.

Yes. There is no difference with this wish for this drishtikone. May God bless you and your family with real happiness, peace, health and prosperity.

If this sounds harsh, please excuse. That was not the intention. The intention is to speak truth and truth only even amidst swaying minds carried away by the need to appear to be good. But at what cost??

 

[GANESH65]

Dear Ganesh Sir,

The member thought you are 'vgane', also Ganesh, who prepared a chart on I C, I R weddings

sometime back in forum. I know you will be wondering when you collected that statistics!!

Yes RR ji along with the other Ganesh, I also took part in his endeavour and familiar with quite a number of such persons. Vgane knows it very well. I think the references made in the Email could be related to post no. 42 made by me.

 

[GANESH65]

Ganesh ji..i just hope by you pasting her personal email here..it does not make anyone write harsh comments.

Yes, Renuka ji,I know. and that's the reason I was little hesitant to post it till now. But on second thoughts, it somehow clicked to me that there is no harm in sharing it here as it may give some direction to the arguments being placed here. Hopefully I don't think it should do any harm so far as her identity is not revealed! Now it is up to her to come out in open or remain a silent spectator. More than anything else I want that the forum should know such a brave heart is there among us who could bear anything just to save her marriage. I also join you in wishing good to her and her family.

However, it should also be seen from the angle suggested by Vagmi Sir. Do Parents who brought you up with so much affection deserve such a harsh treatment? The success we are discussing here , does it worth at that cost? These are some of the drawbacks we are discussing and must understand on such relationships which could spoil the party on some part of the day.

 

[Raji Ram]

Every brahmin does not falls in love. :nono:

When falling in love, everyone does not select out of their community! :nono:

Listen to Lord Krishna: Everything happens for a reason.

Source: Google images