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[warshi]

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Hey I am Aparna. I was looking fora groom for my sister and I happened to find this site M 20 now and looking for a handsome and loyal boy for my sister. I reside in mumbai and any help in my search would be appreciated Thanku.

 

[pillay.roy]

Vannakum - I am Roy pillay from Johannesburg South Africa, you can find me on facebook Roy Pillay I also have a Spiritual Teachings page on facebook.

 

[Sathya Prasad Prasad]

My name is sathyaprasad iam residing in chennai.

 

[gsoundary]

Hi
I have just joined in this site and I am proud to be a member in this community
My name is Soundary G and now I am living in USA and I am fond of Tamil language / I like to insist all Tamil families living in abroad to speak in Tamil with their family members

Thanks
Soundary

 

[triples]

I am Sekar a Hindu Iyengar by birth, my quest to religion has brought me here.

My passion towards Rama Nama has made me to check all the religious site. I hope here I will have the food for my thought.

I have done few studies on Nama Japam, if any request I will be much obliged to submit the same.

My email id [email protected]

regards,

Sekar.,

 

[renuka]

Hi all,

Hope all is well. I just need a help in understanding how to get married with a brahmin girl whom i love the most in this world being a non-brahmin. I proposed a girl who is a brahmin and its my mistake that i did not ask what religion she belongs to and what caste, I dont think i can reject my love since she is a non-muslim and i am. I sincerely apologize to everyone who feels bad about me marrying a brahmin girl. I think i deserve to marry her also things between us gone so far that i could not ignore her and neither she. Now we have a problem that her parents are not agreeing to get their daughter married to me. I am ashamed to tell them we made love also i am ashamed to say this in THIS crowd. I have no other go than taking her out with me which none of us like to do. She is ok to marry a third person for her family since they are threatning her that they ll suicide if she goes out or marry me. I dont get forgiveness for the mistake we made and only by marrying her i can come out of it. Its not i raped her we love each other sooo mch and we had a miscellaneous opportunity of doing it. Though we did mistake we want to get married. Is there anyway i can marry her. Please do the suggestions.

Dear Non Iyer,

Firstly you dont have to apologize to anyone about you being a Muslim guy and falling in love with a Brahmin girl.

In these days of gay marriages no one need to apologize for anything.

If you are above the age of consent..get married provided the girls wants to marry you..if she does not want to marry you..then just forget her and get over her.

If you are talking about Zina and you feel that you need to marry her becos of that..I dont know what to say..cos most people dont view Zina as a 'crime' anymore..so just Taubat to God and get on with life.

Sometimes life isn't a bed of roses..so after a while all wounds heal with time.

I am Non Brahmin too BTW.

 

[C RAVI]

Hi all,

Hope all is well. I just need a help in understanding how to get married with a brahmin girl whom i love the most in this world being a non-brahmin. I proposed a girl who is a brahmin and its my mistake that i did not ask what religion she belongs to and what caste, I dont think i can reject my love since she is a non-muslim and i am. I sincerely apologize to everyone who feels bad about me marrying a brahmin girl. I think i deserve to marry her also things between us gone so far that i could not ignore her and neither she. Now we have a problem that her parents are not agreeing to get their daughter married to me. I am ashamed to tell them we made love also i am ashamed to say this in THIS crowd. I have no other go than taking her out with me which none of us like to do. She is ok to marry a third person for her family since they are threatning her that they ll suicide if she goes out or marry me. I dont get forgiveness for the mistake we made and only by marrying her i can come out of it. Its not i raped her we love each other sooo mch and we had a miscellaneous opportunity of doing it. Though we did mistake we want to get married. Is there anyway i can marry her. Please do the suggestions.

If you had protected sex or if the girl had acted smart to abort in the very initial stage, then there is no serious issue if you guys don't marry and she marries some other "Illicha Vaaya" or some other non-virgin guy who is very much broad minded. Since, the girl is OK to marry a third person due to her parent's threatening.

You have to over come your sense of shame and disclose the facts to her parents in the same bold manner you indulged in sex with her before marriage. Certainly, by the time you had sex with her, having fallen in love for a considerable time, you would have known her background by that time. Isn't it?

With the same courage, be a man, disclose and plead to her parents and get married to her, though her parents decides to ignore her (their daughter) from their life, once for all.

If the girl is not willing to disclose to her parents her sexual relationship with you and she is not willing to run away from her home, with you, Forget Her!!

 

[amala]

Why would you call any other guy she marries an Illicha Vaai?

 

[renuka]

Dear Non Iyer,

I thought the recent High Court Ruling in Chennai did mention that if any couple can prove existence of sexual relationship their union can be considered as a legal marriage.

So why not try use that clause if your girl gives consent.

But Non Iyer Ji at the same time I actually wonder how your post got through the moderators cos I can view your post in 2 ways:


1)You are truly sincere and want some help.


2)Or you are getting a kick out of telling a bunch of TBs that you had a go with their girl.

I am not accusing you of anything but this is just my thoughts.

 

[renuka]

If you had protected sex or if the girl had acted smart to abort in the very initial stage, then there is no serious issue if you guys don't marry and she marries some other "Illicha Vaaya" or some other non-virgin guy who is very much broad minded. Since, the girl is OK to marry a third person due to her parent's threatening.

You have to over come your sense of shame and disclose the facts to her parents in the same bold manner you indulged in sex with her before marriage. Certainly, by the time you had sex with her, having fallen in love for a considerable time, you would have known her background by that time. Isn't it?

With the same courage, be a man, disclose and plead to her parents and get married to her, though her parents decides to ignore her (their daughter) from their life, once for all.

If the girl is not willing to disclose to her parents her sexual relationship with you and she is not willing to run away from her home, with you, Forget Her!!

Dear Ravi,

Please try to understand that Sex is not always = to love!

What is this Ilicha Vaaya??

Just becos a girl or guy is not a virgin anymore that does not make them a demon!LOL

BTW not everyone who has sex would want to marry the person they had sex with...sex love and marriage need not go hand in hand.
One partner might be non committal and the other partner might want marriage.

Wake up yaar!

 

[tbs]

Why would you call any other guy she marries an Illicha Vaai?

hi amala garu,
what ravi told abt illucha vaai is correct....if she can say directly to a guy abt her previous sex experiences,,,,even guys can not

say...how can a gal can say?......some innocent guy is called illicha vaayi.....

 

[tbs]

hi
i smell some fishy here...the non iyer wants put some vague character of iyer gals.....i know one story...my neighbor in chennai....

they are iyers....the iyer gal had love with muslim boy in computer institute...one fine morning she ran away with muslim boy....

the muslim boy eloped her....then whole moved away and shifted some where.....so this guy really love and gal also loves really....

then they can go through...i think he wants put the ball in court and others will kick it.....he just vanish later..LOL

 

[C RAVI]

Dear Ravi,

Please try to understand that Sex is not always = to love!

What is this Ilicha Vaaya??

Just becos a girl or guy is not a virgin anymore that does not make them a demon!LOL

BTW not everyone who has sex would want to marry the person they had sex with...sex love and marriage need not go hand in hand.
One partner might be non committal and the other partner might want marriage.

Wake up yaar!

I better prefer to be asleep along with many sleeping people rather waking up to live a messed up and stinking life, playing with human body and human emotions

Others can wish to be awaken to live such a life along with many other like minded people in the show!

 

[renuka]

I better prefer to be asleep along with many sleeping people rather waking up to live a messed up and stinking life, playing with human body and human emotions

Others can wish to be awaken to live such a life along with many other like minded people in the show!

Ok Good night Kumbhakaran!

 

[Naina_Marbus]

@Non-Iyer

1) What is your qualification, education, technical/job training etc?
2) What kind of job you have to support your lady-love?
3) What your parents have to say. If they are going to object also, what will you do.
4) If your parents will consent only if she converts to islam, then do you have the guts to tell them that you will convert to Hinduism?

 

[C RAVI]

hi amala garu,
what ravi told abt illucha vaai is correct....if she can say directly to a guy abt her previous sex experiences,,,,even guys can not

say...how can a gal can say?......some innocent guy is called illicha vaayi.....

Simple...

Some girls want to disclose their previous sex experiences to a guy she gonna marry, expecting that guy too to tell his colorful stories. So, both of them will be same same and can get into a more experiences together in their marriage life, without any sense of guilt.

 

[renuka]

without any sense of guilt.

Why feel guilty??...it is not as if anyone killed someone or robbed the bank or detonated themselves and killed a host of people.

Life should not be based on guilt if one enjoyed the action and the fruits of it!

BTW if we want to debate further may be we can start a new thread if needed..cos this is the Intro thread..new comers might be SCANDALIZED!LOL

 

[amala]

Women are still viewed as chattel and goods that "belong" to someone. If they are truly viewed as human beings then this whole mentality of claiming "ownership" to this chattel and feeling sick and horrid because she is "soiled" goods would never arise. People both men and women are human and do not belong to anyone to claim ownership over like furniture, clothing and money!

 

[amala]

I guess by the same extension women also should also feel like Illicha Vaayis if men they marry have had sex previously, but women generally don't feel so. Why? Because they view their husbands and men as human first and not chattel.

 

[C RAVI]

If a women chose not to marry a guy who is not virgin, who is objecting??

If she don't mind being a Illicha Vaayi girl OR not at all bothered about the guy's past sexual encounters/fantasies if any, that's purely her choice.

Guys and Girls would be Illicha Vaayis only when their spouse conceal the truth about their past sexual pleasures

If disclosed, no one would be Illacha Vaayis, either they would ignore the proposal or would still accept as they deem fit, on any grounds that is convincing or beneficial to them. It then becomes an individual's choice.

If some girls don't mind marrying a guy with his past sexual fantasies, considering such guys as just "Human Beings" with all needs of pleasures, though she herself is virgin, it doesn't mean that all the Virgin Women on this Earth follow the same. Many are the girls who would not go for such guys, provided the guys honestly tells them the truth.

 

[auh]

I agree with what "The Black Rose" has written. And, unfortunately, that remains the sad truth now.

But I do tend to think that the closeness, or the chemistry, between a woman and a man would obviously be more special (?) if both remained virgins (that is, only until marriage)? Multiple partners prior to, or after marriage will eventually tend to belittle the sacredness of the marital knot, I think.

Anyway, I have digressed enough from the thread and will stop here.

 

[C RAVI]

I agree with what "The Black Rose" has written. And, unfortunately, that remains the sad truth now.

But I do tend to think that the closeness, or the chemistry, between a woman and a man would obviously be more special (?) if both remained virgins (that is, only until marriage)? Multiple partners prior to, or after marriage will eventually tend to belittle the sacredness of the marital knot, I think.

Anyway, I have digressed enough from the thread and will stop here.

I don't think in today's generation people believe in sacredness of the marital knot!! It's now all about chemistry and deal alone.

I personally believe that, more than the sacredness of marriage, the human feeling of "you-and-me for each other" makes a deep sense and matters a lot when two people join hands for life, sharing everything under the Sun.

In marriage, couples unite with their mind, heart and body and make a wholesome union for a contented life through out with a feeling of reasonable possessiveness, commitment and contribution with all dedication towards spouse.

As such, people are many who don't succumb to their temptations and refrain from physically dedicating one self to a person before they get married.

 

[tbs]

I guess by the same extension women also should also feel like Illicha Vaayis if men they marry have had sex previously, but women generally don't feel so. Why? Because they view their husbands and men as human first and not chattel.

hi amala garu....

sometimes women need more experienced men than a raw material....but men always want ONLY VIRGINS....LOL

 

[tbs]

Dear Non Iyer,

I thought the recent High Court Ruling in Chennai did mention that if any couple can prove existence of sexual relationship their union can be considered as a legal marriage.

So why not try use that clause if your girl gives consent.

But Non Iyer Ji at the same time I actually wonder how your post got through the moderators cos I can view your post in 2 ways:


1)You are truly sincere and want some help.


2)Or you are getting a kick out of telling a bunch of TBs that you had a go with their girl.

I am not accusing you of anything but this is just my thoughts.

hi renu,

he had everything including sex with the gal....still he says he does not know the gal's religion/caste....even im in lovvu

in 80's with a brahmin gal....i asked subsect/even the gotra....so that no problem later with the parents permission.....

யாருகிட்டே காது குத்த பார்க்க ரான் .....

 

[renuka]

hi renu,

he had everything including sex with the gal....still he says he does not know the gal's religion/caste....even im in lovvu

in 80's with a brahmin gal....i asked subsect/even the gotra....so that no problem later with the parents permission.....

யாருகிட்டே காது குத்த பார்க்க ரான் .....

Dear TBS garu,

I somehow dont buy this guys story...he is making it sound as if he has "values" that after he had sex with the TB girl he wants to marry cos he wants to be responsible for his actions..but he is making it sound as if the TB girl has no qualms about marrying another guy!

He might be just trying to imply that the TB girl lacks values...I dont even think his story is true..I have seen many types of guys of other religions who try to run down girls of other religions.

So basically I dont buy his story...I dont know if he might get angry with me for this "accusation" but I just wonder which newbie will start a 1st thread saying that he had sex with someone?? Give me a break yaar!