Kaliyuga brahmins

[vgane]

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Dear RR ji,

But many TB guys too have married NB or even Non Indian/Non Hindu girls ..I remember one member before mention his male relative had a gay marriage too..but how come guys are never portrayed as Rotten..need to grin and bear etc..why do girls always get the blame.

I remember you said that some known person married a Thai girl and she was adopted by the relative of the boy..given a gotra and then married...was that done under the Grin and Bear too?

I am not finding fault with anyone here but one has to be fair to both boys and girls..cos when a guy marries a NB/Non TB/Non Indian/Non Hindu or even another guy..no arrows are shot at guys but women are targeted with a missile that can even outdo the new BrahMos!LOL

I used the word rotten for the majority of the wayward who are from one sex..In case the opposite sex is wayward too, I would still condemn

We can only curse..We are toothless in this

 

[ganeshanu]

Every thing is because the way we brought them up. If we accept and follow somethng, then they will definetely follow us.

 

[rishikesan]

Dear friends, I have read the opinions & counter arguments in the above 26 nos. I really & seriously wanted that If something can be done to prevent a Brahmin Girl wanting to marry a N.B guy, just because he was a school mate/ college mate/ working Colleague & the like . Not withstanding good/ bad & negative comments by my friends, I have some food for thought,. in the most practical cases my wife Mrs Janaki, who is being continuously sought after by the parents for predictions on marriage, for their daughters .
The parents are good & the Girls are also Good , but when marriage proposal is mooted, the girls , if they fixed their mind with an N.B Colleague, the Parents get the SHOCK of life Inspite of whatever opinion given out negative by the readers, will it not be nice & good if she accepts a Brahmin Boy ,because the Parents have always given full liberty to her sweet girl so that she selects the right partner. No one can deny that .At the end of the day , I feel it is Best that she realizes that ultimately it is the parents who would feel Proud & be life long supporter, come what may? Can she bank upon any one else on such paramount issue of aayiram kalathu payir ? Are not parents giving full liberty to choose a Partner in a Brahmin family If own sect is not easily available.
Happy to state that my wife, as an astrologer has Horoscopically reasoned out to the girls & by doing a PROVEN pvt Pooja at home by the Mother has helped to not-to pursue the N.B.
This Morning, a girl from delhi with her Mother has come to our house to discuss Pros/ Cons of the girls Love with an N.B. because her father wept on Phone 2 days back saying so many things.
I showed the girl the ist.comments on this Topic , including my final comments of 12th inst.
Hope she may relent. Ifb any of you is keen to knoe the result, may talk over Phone tyhe number given in earlier write-up.
Let us strive to impress on both Girls & Boys that as parents we are much broad minded & truly want them to ptosper in life. Npo parent would ever think negative for their Wards. Hope you all agree.
Sincerly,
Rishikesan
him the Parents are always ready for On-line CHAT & even meetings ?

 

[prasad1]

Dear Sir,

I am surprised to read this...why do you want to say Rotten Girls..that is too harsh in my opinion.

From what I can sort of understand that TB males and their parents seem to have a hard time accepting that a TB female can have her mind on her own and can be in total control of the situation.

I guess men still want to exert rules and regulations on girls and want them to tow the line of tradition without taking into consideration a girl's personal likes and dislikes..its seems to be a female is expected to be a carrier unit for the continuation of the Y chromosome and nothing more.

The day males and females can accept each other as equals in all matters that is the day I feel any marriage will be totally stable..being married and not divorced does not always translate as a stable marriage..some just dont like the hassle of a divorce and stay on for personal and financial reasons too.

It is good to see the contrary view, thanks.
Like Krishji said:

TB boys are unable to come to terms with the liberated new tamil brahmin girls wanting their own space.

The most of the TB boys I meet at at least 50 years behind their counterparts from North. The TB parents raise mama's boy, not men.
I know I am stereotyping the whole community from the few I know. They enter into relation with the expecting some one to be like a mother, a servant, and .......... everything rolled into one. When that does not happen they are not able to cope with it.

TB boys should be raised like a modern man, and not a wuss.

 

[renuka]

renukaji
you are personally invited to delhi
I will introduce you to many TB girls married to jats and other communities from punjab and haryana ,
the males are fairer and smarter . these boys relate to TB girls better than TB boys.
but you will find very few TB boys marrying punjabi or haryana girls.It is pretty rare . TB boys in case entrerprising , would prefer UP or bengali brahmin girls . they come nearest to TB girls .The main reason for this is that their parents are govt employees from british days and post independance and there is similarity of home and work culture.

But I feel somehow TB girl and Bengali guys too might make a good match cos Bongs are known for their intellect..need to ask a Bong!LOL

 

[renuka]

Happy to state that my wife, as an astrologer has Horoscopically reasoned out to the girls & by doing a PROVEN pvt Pooja at home by the Mother has helped to not-to pursue the N.B.

Dear Rishikeshan ji,

Isnt using rituals of any sort to change the mind of anyone not to pursue their love interest amount to a Tantric ritual? As far as I know these types of rituals can have a severe backlash to the person who does it.

Out here many people go to what we call Bomoh(Shaman) for such rituals to stop their children from going after their love interest..sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt but over all sometimes the Karmic effect on the doer can be real bad..cos it usually involves the usage of elemental forces.

I am hearing for the first time that Astrology can be used for trying to break up a relationship..wont it invoke elemental forces?

 

[mkrishna100]

The most of the TB boys I meet at at least 50 years behind their counterparts from North. The TB parents raise mama's boy, not men.
I know I am stereotyping the whole community from the few I know. They enter into relation with the expecting some one to be like a mother, a servant, and .......... everything rolled into one. When that does not happen they are not able to cope with it.

TB boys should be raised like a modern man, and not a wuss

That is true in most cases . Most of TB Males are yet to understand the change that has taken place with regard to the role of women post liberalization in India . There are many Guys who want their wives to Behave the same way their mothers / grandmothers behaved in the past and no wonder many are suffering .

 

[mkrishna100]

But I feel somehow TB girl and Bengali guys too might make a good match cos Bongs are known for their intellect..need to ask a Bong!LOL

TB bond well with Bongs ir-respective of whether they are male / female because both are rice eaters .

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

There is difference between a tambram boy getting married to other community girl because tambrams accept the girl as a tambram

after the wedding. But when tambram girls have IC or IR weddings, they leave the tambram side and join the other side. You get it?

The Thai girl I mentioned changed her name as Srividhya and follows our culture fairly well! eace:

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Renu,

There is difference between a tambram boy getting married to other community girl because tambrams accept the girl as a tambram

after the wedding. But when tambram girls have IC or IR weddings, they leave the tambram side and join the other side. You get it?

The Thai girl I mentioned changed her name as Srividhya and follows our culture fairly well! eace:

dear raji, good lady,

i have two friends, one a sindhi guy, who married an iyengar girl, and converted to sri vaishnavism, if not formally, definitely in practice, food and customs. another, a tambram girl from delhi, who married a jain, who converted to hinduism, their daughter brought up as hindu.

then again, in 1960, long before ir ic is (inter state) marriages became common, my mother's girl cousin married a punjabi guy. basically she shifted to punjabi lifestyle, her 2 sons married punjabi girls.... no more tamil thing in their family. they lived in delhi. not sure if it would have been the same, had they lived in tamil nadu.

we now have 3rd generation tambrams and palakkads in bombay. these consider themselves mumbaikars, and marry mumbaikars like them, irrespective of which part of india their grand parents originated. all married only hindus. of late i am seeing less of ir marriages where tambram or tamil girls convert to other religions. i have a friend who married a christian, but no xtian stuff in their house, and their daughter is a traditional tamil hindu. i feel gratified when i see such.

personally, i am strong belief, should our children marry out of religion, they should remain with us, and bring up their children as our own, whether it be the boy or girl. no reason to go out of india for religious search or identity.

this is what i think.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

There is difference between a tambram boy getting married to other community girl because tambrams accept the girl as a tambram

after the wedding. But when tambram girls have IC or IR weddings, they leave the tambram side and join the other side. You get it?

The Thai girl I mentioned changed her name as Srividhya and follows our culture fairly well! eace:

Dear RR ji,


If we want to be traditional we have to follow the fact that a girl has to treat her husband's family as her own..the Tamil saying is all about that..that a girl should bring good name to her husbands family..so if a TB girl marries some Non TB as long she brings good name to her husband's family that means her parents have done their duty well..so why worry?

You see one more thing I have noted about Indian MIL's whether TB or Non TB..if the DIL is a fellow Indian(Hindu) she is always not considered good enough but when they get some other race DIL that time its all praises"Oh My DIL..she is even better than my own race/caste..what a good girl..she is intelligent..she is nice..she is this she is that"

But if an Indian girl has all the same qualities..she will be only always be 2nd best.

So frankly speaking an Indian MIL is always dissatisfied with her own race DIL..when she gets a different race DIL she gets scared inside cos she does not know anything about a different race and to counter act all the gossip of "oh why your son married a different race" she will have to start praising her Non Indian DIL even if her DIL is a Tasmanian Devil.

So somehow the Indian DIL is always at the receiving end..so why blame the girls these days if they dont want to stay with Rahu and Ketu or with Luggage and Baggage?

I feel Indian girls should marry a person who appreciates them for what they are not just to be the receiving end of anyone.

Whatever guys are complaining of girls today is what guys finally reaped after many years of sowing seeds of male chauvinism aided by the their mothers.

 

[mkrishna100]

I feel Indian girls should marry a person who appreciates them for what they are not just to be the receiving end of anyone.

True

Whatever guys are complaining of girls today is what guys finally reaped after many years of sowing seeds of male chauvinism aided by the their mothers.

True

You see one more thing I have noted about Indian MIL's whether TB or Non TB..if the DIL is a fellow Indian(Hindu) she is always not considered good enough but when they get some other race DIL that time its all praises"Oh My DIL..she is even better than my own race/caste..what a good girl..she is intelligent..she is nice..she is this she is that"

Again True . Many TB families who have a NB DIL or foreigner DIL proactively become very defensive about their DIL saying that even though she is not a TB or Indian but she follows all the Indian Customs and Traditions much better than a TB DIL and in fact they are happy with a NB / Non Indian DIL . How happy they really are is not known .

 

[tbs]

Dear Renu,

There is difference between a tambram boy getting married to other community girl because tambrams accept the girl as a tambram

after the wedding. But when tambram girls have IC or IR weddings, they leave the tambram side and join the other side. You get it?

The Thai girl I mentioned changed her name as Srividhya and follows our culture fairly well! eace:

hi RR madam,

now a says....many tambram gals buying meat/fish in the fish market for their husband/families....even thay dont like to eat...

but i never heard/saw a tambram boy buying meat/fish for their wives...so now change is entirely in gals side...not much

in boys side....I THINK....AMBIS ARE AMBIS...DIFFICULT TO CHANGE....

 

[sarang]

The meek shall rule the earth!!

in boys side....I THINK....AMBIS ARE AMBIS...DIFFICULT TO CHANGE....

 

[krish44]

hi RR madam,

now a says....many tambram gals buying meat/fish in the fish market for their husband/families....even thay dont like to eat...

but i never heard/saw a tambram boy buying meat/fish for their wives...so now change is entirely in gals side...not much

in boys side....I THINK....AMBIS ARE AMBIS...DIFFICULT TO CHANGE....

if children have been brought up observing the rules and regulations of conservative brahmin, to expect them to change specially boys only to get married is stupid. they should find spouses from other communities and religion whose upbringing matches to some extent. food preferences mismatch is serious enough to warrant rejection of spouse like smoking etc. I do not care particularly about caste or religion. too much adjustment of lifestyle can be quite a strain on
relationship. even different working hours specially among IT professionals is straining lot of marriages.

 

[ganeshanu]

what i wanted to say is, doing sandhyavandam at least once a day and not missing upa-karma and gayathri japam in an year , veg food.that is enough. we can achieve a lot

 

[biswa]

Dear Prasad Sir,

We have many girls in our family and some have married even NBs. We have to just grin and bear it. OK?

I am NOT a hater of tambram girls but I am just writing the experience our family has faced with tambram girls! :sad:

RRji,

What exactly do you have to grin and bear? If somebody marries somebody else, how does it affect your lifestyle and your values?

What is wrong with modern girls/boys having some control in their marriage. Why should somebody else decide it for them? If it fails, at least they have only themselves to blame.

 

[prasad1]

What exactly do you have to grin and bear? If somebody marries somebody else, how does it affect your lifestyle and your values?

What is wrong with modern girls/boys having some control in their marriage. Why should somebody else decide it for them? If it fails, at least they have only themselves to blame.

Your post is directed towards Rajiji, but I am interjecting.
It is not about Rajiji.
Do you really think we care about the couple, it is about our shame and our guilt.
How will we face our friends?
We have to grin and bear the snickers from the society. That is what we are ashamed off.

 

[biswa]

You are right Prasad ji. It is all about the gossip. How so and so's niece married such and such.

 

[renuka]

TB bond well with Bongs ir-respective of whether they are male / female because both are rice eaters .

I have noted this too but I dont think its the rice alone there has to be something else..anyway I feel TB girls will make good matches with the Bongs..BTW I just thought of some joke.."what do you call a Bong secret agent?"...answer is James Bong!LOL

 

[krish44]

RRji,

What exactly do you have to grin and bear? If somebody marries somebody else, how does it affect your lifestyle and your values?

What is wrong with modern girls/boys having some control in their marriage. Why should somebody else decide it for them? If it fails, at least they have only themselves to blame.

most couples who decide themselves have given an escape route to parents.They escape blame for a wrong or bad choice

many marriages are under stress due to parents not fully committed to childrens choice.it has lead to parents becoming highlly irresponsible and many parents refusing to full accept the choice of their children.this half hearted acceptance often leads to unhappiness for children which parents secretly enjoy

parents actually grin and enjoy the plight of these intercaste ,religion matches.
A christian married to a TB in my extended family was asked for his gothra which his willing and generous wife provided from her family side during a family function.It was enjoyable for all relatives witnessing the function

 

[krish44]

I have noted this too but I dont think its the rice alone there has to be something else..anyway I feel TB girls will make good matches with the Bongs..BTW I just thought of some joke.."what do you call a Bong secret agent?"...answer is James Bong!LOL

there is something fishy about the like of TB for bengali. what do TBs do for bong like for hilsa fish?

 

[krish44]

Your post is directed towards Rajiji, but I am interjecting.
It is not about Rajiji.
Do you really think we care about the couple, it is about our shame and our guilt.
How will we face our friends?
We have to grin and bear the snickers from the society. That is what we are ashamed off.

Not necessarily.
prasadji
when parents grin , they enjoy the plight of these intercaste, inter religion couple coping with relatives of either side
in most families there are some of these types, hence hardly any shame or guilt

 

[renuka]

there is something fishy about the like of TB for bengali. what do TBs do for bong like for hilsa fish?

There is nothing fishy..Its Pure Fatal Attraction!

Well even Bong Brahmins consider fish as Flowers of the Sea..so its all Vegetarian only!LOL