Means of Happiness

[Brahmanyan]

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"Dialogues with The Guru"

The following passage is taken from the book "Dialogues with The Guru" containing talks with Jagadguru Sankaracharya of Shri Sarada Peedam, Sringeri, Shri Chandrasekhara Bharati Swamigal (1892-1954) compiled by R.Krishnaswami Iyer" .

While discussing the means of happiness Acharya says........


"Similarly, it is impossible for you to regulate, modify, annihilate or create at your pleasure the infinite things of the universe which are likely to disturb you. But you can so regulate your own mind that it may gradually cease to be disturbed by them. This is quite within your competence. Your forefathers were happy, not because they had more objects of pleasure or less causes of trouble, but because they were able to retain their mental equilibrium, which gave them rest, peace and contentment and, therefore, happiness. They did not depend upon outside things to make them happy, nor did they concede to outside things the capacity to make them unhappy. Their feeling of rest and peace, contentment and happiness, was normal, natural and healthy and, therefore, lasting. You must also cultivate that feeling if you want to be happy. Such a feeling is born and ingrained in the Brahmana especially, and if he neglects it and seeks happiness in the outside world, he is seriously impairing his chances of getting it again in the next birth, for God will be quite justified in withholding a gift which the donee does not appreciate at its proper value when he has it with him. Never let go your birthright or svabhava of contentment and never give the go-by to your svadharma or duty. Everything will right itself in due course. Make honest and sincere attempt to regain and retain your brahmaniam in the firm faith that God is ever with you to help you.

We shall try our best, but these happen to be very bad days for the Brahmanas.

When did the bad days begin? You must bear that also in your mind. They began when the Brahmanas swerved from their achara and Dharma and entered the field of competition in the pursuit of worldly things. They forgot that they were most ungratefully misusing the heritage of ages. The others, who were left behind the Brahmanas in this race, first looked upon them with admiration and later on with envy and now with hatred. Let the Brahmanas withdraw from this race they will once again regain and command the respect which is their due. They commanded respect before, not because they were richer or stronger than others, but because of their contentment, which made them happier than the richest and because of their Dharma, which made them stronger than the strongest. The so-called bad days are therefore only of our own making. We can at any moment put an end to them, so far as every one of us is concerned, by reverting to the simple faith and the upright conduct, the religious fervour and the peaceful contentment of our fathers. I think that the bad days will turn out to be really useful and not after all bad, if they but make the Brahmanas realise the depth of their fall from their true ideal and induce them to make honest endeavour to recover it."

This book is available for reading in the following link:
Welcome To SriSharada

Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[renuka]

Dear Brahmanyan sir,

I have a question here..most Gurus always say this:

Your forefathers were happy, not because they had more objects of pleasure or less causes of trouble, but because they were able to retain their mental equilibrium, which gave them rest, peace and contentment and, therefore, happiness. They did not depend upon outside things to make them happy, nor did they concede to outside things the capacity to make them unhappy. Their feeling of rest and peace, contentment and happiness, was normal, natural and healthy and, therefore, lasting.

I don't know why..but I beg to differ cos even in Yesteryugas..people were always having desires which we unmet..mostly never knew even how to spell forgiveness.
Almost everyone was in revenge mode.
Each did some Tapas solely to fulfill some desires.

Many did Yagnas to secure higher heavens and power.


Take Dronacharya for example..why couldn't he just ignore what Drupada did to him instead of going into revenge mode?

What is the use if we spend our life time just trying to get even with another person?
Imagine our whole body system..poisoned with revengeful thoughts.

I don't really think our forefathers were any better than us.
They also had desires which they either fiercely got or became frustrated if they did not secure it.


We can't say we desire a lap top/smart phone and our forefathers did not?
It is becos at that time lap tops/smart phones did not exists.

The mind can only desire what the mind knows.

So our forefathers would have had desires befitting their time...that is the only difference.

Desires have always ruled the human mind.

Even the humble Kuchela was happy when he got wealth.

 

[sangom]

Dear Shri Brahmanyan,

Thanks for the book link and the OP. I do agree with the Acharya when he says, "Your forefathers were happy, not because they had more objects of pleasure or less causes of trouble, but because they were able to retain their mental equilibrium, which gave them rest, peace and contentment and, therefore, happiness. They did not depend upon outside things to make them happy, nor did they concede to outside things the capacity to make them unhappy. Their feeling of rest and peace, contentment and happiness, was normal, natural and healthy and, therefore, lasting. ..."

I don't think Drona or a few more exceptions make the rule, because we have the poor brahmin of the "golden mongoose story" in the same Mahabharata. Coming down to my own memories, my (maternal) grandmother, an ordinary tabra woman who had not gone to school (as was the accepted custom in her times) but had learnt the Tamil, Malayalam and Grantham alphabets well enough to read, used to wear only a 9 yards pudavai and I have seen her spending her limited leisure time in the afternoons either reading her favourite "Sree Maha bhakta vijayam" in Tamil or writing "Sreeramajayam" on sand spread on the floor and erasing it with hand each time. She suffered a lot of tragedies in life, elder daughter died of mysterious disease at a young age of 18 or 20, only son died of sudden fever immediately after completion of Matriculation exam. in her father's house near Nagercoil and she could not even have a look at the body since the journey took 3 or 4 days to reach, in those days. In spite of all this she had a calm, smiling and soothing aura about her. I do not find any woman of today like that, not even my mother.

It is a truth that we today are led by the materialistic and possessive culture from the West. Happiness is brought about by possessions and acquisitions and it is difficult for most people to just sit and be contented and happy; they need a lap-top, radio, tv or some gadget or the other to produce some sound or visuals to keep them engaged and make them happy. It is this reliance on externalities for one's happiness which the swamiji is referring to.

I recollect one incident in my own life. In late 1978 thee was a sudden flooding of our entire area due to very heavy rains and consequent opening of the shutters of the dam upstream in the river flowing just by the side of our colony. Most houses were under 6 to 10 feet of water for a week. We like many others lost almost everything in our single story rented house and it took very hard toil for nearly ten days to clean the house and salvage whatever could be. My sons lost their books, toys, comics and everything. Still, they could easily spend their time cheerfully just by talking to their friends and all that. But today's kids will definitely find it very difficult to calmly tide over such crises, imho.

One Tibetan Lama had the advice that if a person can simply sit at the middle of the night (when the whole world, so to say, is asleep) and feel contented and calm, that will be a great spiritual achievement because then you are relying hardly on any external inputs to make you happy/contented.

I honestly feel we should develop this trait.

 

[sarang]

I look at it this way:

There was no explicit injunction against acquiring wealth or enjoying the fruits; only earning and spending by dharmic ways and not making it the prime purpose in life. Contentment is a state of the mind; varies with individual personalities and difficult to quantify.

Dronacharya was was repulsed, humiliated and spurned in front of many in court; and solemn promise given to him as a friend was broken. perhaps if drupada had kept his promise and offered to share his kingdom, drona might have magnanimously not taken it.

In the past too, brahmins were in high positions of kings, were in competition with others and were not total paupers. There are inscriptions of largess e given to brahmins (and others too) by kings.

Present perception of anti brahminism is because of lies and insults heaped on them by the british, their adiyars, communists, rationalists; and the weapon they use - brahmins are responsible for all the ills, untouchables, dalits, and what not. Even though many know for sure that brahmins have nothing to do with this, they wear a brahmin bashing mask because they know the real truth will hurt their cause. Even if all brahmins quit the race of earning and employment, the atmosphere will not change, because the projected hate is for the wrong reasons and to serve personal ends.

Desire per se is not rejected by our sastras. Only atheetha desire and the temptation to get it by any means is prohibited. Everyone is expected to spend his extra wealth in social causes, feeding and building temples.

Everyday a theft of laptop or smartphone is reported because the culprit desired it but did not have the means or the will to earn it.

So, brahmins should learn and practice to the best of their ability their traditions; wherever they are and whatever they do (I mean, location and vocation).

 

[tbs]

hi
happiness is a great bliss....we are always to achieve comforts.....i have seen my maternal grand mother in kerala... my grand father

had enough lands to feed the family...always a lot of rice/other things in home ....her initial life more sophisticated....later

they lost all the lands/property in kerala...then moved chennai....she always happy tilll the end of her life....even my mother

can not live like her....even though my grand mother lost everything....still she was happy....how?...still im wondering...

 

[C RAVI]

hi
happiness is a great bliss....we are always to achieve comforts.....i have seen my maternal grand mother in kerala... my grand father

had enough lands to feed the family...always a lot of rice/other things in home ....her initial life more sophisticated....later

they lost all the lands/property in kerala...then moved chennai....she always happy tilll the end of her life....even my mother

can not live like her....even though my grand mother lost everything....still she was happy....how?...still im wondering...

The case was the same with that of my maternal and paternal grandparents. I think the reason for their happiness was - The families in those days were of huge size, that is, no. of family members ranging from 10 - 12. Children were mostly obedient, responsible, committed and united with each others and with their parents. Family members used to feel secured and contented every day in and day out no matter what sophistication they lost. Their sons (Brahmin guys) were smart enough to do typing and steno work for many Brahmin lawyers and earn money, while doing their studies. They spend this money for buying grocery, vegetables, fruits and snacks for the family and NOT TO smoke cigarette, drink liquor and fulfill physical desires. Each family had around 5 to 6 sons and they all took the responsibility to run the family show shouldering their father and took the responsibility of finding alliance for their sisters and marrying them off.


They all were supporting each other being united though might have had small small issues, misunderstanding, jealousy etc..etc, at times

They all were happy with whatever they could manage through descent and honest income.



The outside world was also not glittering too much to be in illusion!!


No TV and no tempting and misleading commercial adds. Only radio to listen to songs and news. They had very disciplined life sticking to sleeping and waking up schedules; girls/daughters doing their part of household chores along with mother; sons/guys going out to earn, do shopping for home needs etc.along with father.


Such huge families of our forefathers were in peace and harmony irrespective of their financial standards.

 

[renuka]

I am not surprised when I read about stories of contented people of the past.I don't think people of the past were extra ordinary.


None of us really knew what went through their mind.

The human mind goes through various stages when faced with adversity.

The initial reaction will be some amount of unhappiness..which people of the past especially women were forced to conceal and not complain about.

Then the next stage is analyzing the situation..when a person realizes that he/she can't do really anything about it they learn to adapt and life with it.

Just like a patient who gets his legs amputated due to an accident..he eventually learns how to accept his situation.

So no one is actually too tolerant or having too much forbearance...it is just that God designed the human body to survive and adapt.

Women of those days appeared more tolerant and ever sacrificing..cos they had no choice cos they were financially dependent on males.

Most people give examples of grandparents being so contented etc..becos when we saw them we were kids..we had no idea what went on in their mind.

When we become old enough too..some kid looking at us will also think "how contended he/she is..how simple he/she is.." becos age slows us down and we look contended to the outside world.

 

[sravna]

Happiness I agree is purely determined by the mind irrespective of the external factors. But there is a problem with this view. The problem is that the mind should be able to take on the external factors such as pressures and temptations. If it can rise above such things it can indeed be happy. In the kali yuga especially the distractions are innumerable and it is very necessary that one be really mentally strong. Though it is not totally under our control, we can bring in some control by conscious effort also.

The OP resonates with my view that brahmins should not be drawn towards the worldly pursuits as it is within their innate ability not to do so. Even if they choose to pursue wealth it should not be for selfish purposes but for the benefit of the needy in the society. Then brahmins can indeed regain their past glory.

 

[prasad1]

I am not surprised when I read about stories of contented people of the past.I don't think people of the past were extra ordinary.


None of us really knew what went through their mind.

The human mind goes through various stages when faced with adversity.

The initial reaction will be some amount of unhappiness..which people of the past especially women were forced to conceal and not complain about.

Then the next stage is analyzing the situation..when a person realizes that he/she can't do really anything about it they learn to adapt and life with it.

Just like a patient who gets his legs amputated due to an accident..he eventually learns how to accept his situation.

So no one is actually too tolerant or having too much forbearance...it is just that God designed the human body to survive and adapt.

Women of those days appeared more tolerant and ever sacrificing..cos they had no choice cos they were financially dependent on males.

Most people give examples of grandparents being so contented etc..becos when we saw them we were kids..we had no idea what went on in their mind.

When we become old enough too..some kid looking at us will also think "how contended he/she is..how simple he/she is.." becos age slows us down and we look contended to the outside world.

Most people romanticize the time period of their youth. They often don't identify with or agree with social progress that has been made since then, and even if they do, their youth usually represents a time when they understood the world better. Even if you don't become technophobic or socially disconnected as you age (which most people do), you at the very least identify with the music and pop culture of your youth better than you identify with subsequent pop culture.


In extreme cases, this can result in a persistent and uncompromising belief that progress is negative, and anything that changes is made worse. In very extreme cases, some people are brought up to romanticize their PARENTS' youth instead of their own, resulting in nostalgia for a time period that they never even lived in.

The best we can do is to be conscious of it, to catch ourselves when we reflexively criticize anything new and romanticize anything familiar, and keep our minds open to the possibility that the culture and values of our youth aren't necessarily the correct ones, and that they might be improved upon.



My point is that the 'Good Old Days' were filled with threats and insecurities just like today. Most of the things we worried about never happened. We tend to forget all the threats and worries that never materialized and remember all the good things that did happen. Maybe this says that optimism is a natural human trait. If nothing very bad happened to you or your family during that period, you now look back and say those were truly the 'Good Old Days'. In reality they exist only in our very selective memories.

 

[prasad1]

It’s not uncommon to see nostalgia being expressed as a lament, rather than as fond reminiscences. Which brings one to the question, were the old days really that good? The typical lament is that things were much easier in ‘those’ days. Life was much easier. There was hardly any traffic. No pollution. People were nicer and kinder to one another. There was no ‘road rage’. Friends met and talked to each other face to face, not through a bunch of computers and mobile phones. There were more trees, more forests, and abundant water for everyone. People played with real toys. They played real games. Cricketers played for the love of the game and not for ‘filthy lucre’. Politicians got into politics to serve the country and its people. And so on.


But when it’s pointed out to them that there were fewer job and career opportunities in those days; that it took several days to complete a journey that takes just a few hours today; that despite the traffic, people are able to commute long distances; that the Internet has increased connectivity between people and has made life more convenient, despite its shortcomings; that you don’t even need to make a trip to the bank to transfer money; that cricketers come from smaller towns today and still play high quality cricket, they are still not convinced, for, their focus is almost exclusively on the less prepossessing aspects of modern life.


Highly personal experience


Despite the tendency to facilitate lamentation, Nostalgia is a very valid psychological experience since it serves to periodically recharge one’s energies in order to face the challenges of modern life. Nostalgia is a highly personal experience of selective recall of romanticised memories, all highly exaggerated by the passage of time. These memories bring forth a highly positive emotion in all of us - at some time or other that - we enjoy and celebrate. This positive emotion gives us a feeling of well-being and the wherewithal to get on with our lives. Nostalgia can only be detrimental when we find that we spend more than a fair share of our waking life soaking ourselves in nostalgic reverie, if the life that we are currently leading is not stimulating enough for our needs. However, even if this were our situation, it’s quite likely that a few years from now we will be nostalgic about how nostalgic we were at this time of our lives.


But we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be carried away and believe everything our romanticised memories tell us. For, often, they are quite inaccurate (even for those of us who pride ourselves on the infallibility of our memories). However it is undisputable that nostalgic reminiscences can be fun, refreshing and stimulating, as long as we learn to enjoy them and understand their place in our lives. The old days were not all that good. And the new days are not all that bad.

Those good old days


VIJAY NAGASWAMI
The Hindu : Magazine / Columns : Those good old days

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Have you heard of this before???

In youth absence of pleasure is pain.

In old age absence of pain is pleasure.

Our pain, pleasure, happiness and sorrow are all relative.

They are also related to our age and out look.

Some people find solitude a punishment

while some others wish to be left alone.

In my scale of happiness,

Less expectations ... more happiness

Less desires......... ...more happiness

Less dependence...... more happiness

Less demands ..........more happiness
( on us and by us)

A simple example will show how happiness and sorrow are connected.

A minute of waiting outside the lavatory can be sorrow!

A minute spent inside the bathroom can be happiness.

 

[SANDHYAV]

laptop/smartphone i will take it as 1 lac indian rupees. a transplant (WHICH IS MORE EXPENSIVE) in the place of amputation would have made him HAPPIER.
MY EXAMPLE: you listen to the song u like make you 9% happier CHEMICALLY!! than listening to songs which every body likes/or is generally considered A GOOD SONG
BBC News - Music 'releases mood-enhancing chemical in the brain'

 

[sangom]

It’s not uncommon to see nostalgia being expressed as a lament, rather than as fond reminiscences. Which brings one to the question, were the old days really that good? The typical lament is that things were much easier in ‘those’ days. Life was much easier. There was hardly any traffic. No pollution. People were nicer and kinder to one another. There was no ‘road rage’. Friends met and talked to each other face to face, not through a bunch of computers and mobile phones. There were more trees, more forests, and abundant water for everyone. People played with real toys. They played real games. Cricketers played for the love of the game and not for ‘filthy lucre’. Politicians got into politics to serve the country and its people. And so on.


But when it’s pointed out to them that there were fewer job and career opportunities in those days; that it took several days to complete a journey that takes just a few hours today; that despite the traffic, people are able to commute long distances; that the Internet has increased connectivity between people and has made life more convenient, despite its shortcomings; that you don’t even need to make a trip to the bank to transfer money; that cricketers come from smaller towns today and still play high quality cricket, they are still not convinced, for, their focus is almost exclusively on the less prepossessing aspects of modern life.


Highly personal experience


Despite the tendency to facilitate lamentation, Nostalgia is a very valid psychological experience since it serves to periodically recharge one’s energies in order to face the challenges of modern life. Nostalgia is a highly personal experience of selective recall of romanticised memories, all highly exaggerated by the passage of time. These memories bring forth a highly positive emotion in all of us - at some time or other that - we enjoy and celebrate. This positive emotion gives us a feeling of well-being and the wherewithal to get on with our lives. Nostalgia can only be detrimental when we find that we spend more than a fair share of our waking life soaking ourselves in nostalgic reverie, if the life that we are currently leading is not stimulating enough for our needs. However, even if this were our situation, it’s quite likely that a few years from now we will be nostalgic about how nostalgic we were at this time of our lives.


But we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be carried away and believe everything our romanticised memories tell us. For, often, they are quite inaccurate (even for those of us who pride ourselves on the infallibility of our memories). However it is undisputable that nostalgic reminiscences can be fun, refreshing and stimulating, as long as we learn to enjoy them and understand their place in our lives. The old days were not all that good. And the new days are not all that bad.

Those good old days


VIJAY NAGASWAMI
The Hindu : Magazine / Columns : Those good old days

The olden days were definitely not unalloyed goodness complete. There were very many difficulties, fears, poverty and many other drawbacks as compared to today, agreed. But there was a higher level of contentment and better social interaction. For all the great advantages which mankind has gained today, as compared to say, 70 or 80 years ago, we in India at least, seem to have paid a very heavy price in terms of the personal contentment and happiness. I do not think there is any romanticization in this nostalgia.

And, the OP is about "Means of happiness" and the sringeri Acharya says that if we tend to find happiness from sources outside ourselves, and are unable to find happiness within ourselves, there is more chance that we fall victims to the present materialistic outlook of life. Just like alcoholism, this materialism is also addictive imo. That is why one often hears the phrase "getting bored" today.

The best course would have been, for India, to adopt the scientific advances and advantages in a sagacious manner, which we failed significantly to do. Now I find many members writing here as if what actually happened during our parents' generation/grandparents' generation did not actually happen and old timers like myself are making nostalgic laments. So be it; but I for one know the truth and can be content without any input from outside.

 

[prasad1]

Good old days were good for some. Some of these people are nostalgic for days gone by when they were the ruling class or Zamindars. They are upset that in the modern world they are common folks. Sometimes our happiness classes with other's happiness.

But the op statement is true at all time.

Their feeling of rest and peace, contentment and happiness, was normal, natural and healthy and, therefore, lasting. You must also cultivate that feeling if you want to be happy.

 

[sarang]

Vedanta desika and Vidyaranya were childhood friend and studied under the same guru. Vidyaranya served in the court of Vijayanagar king and Desiks lived a spartan life meeting his daily needs with unchavriddi. Vidyaranya wanted to help his friend and extended an invitation to serve in the court of the king. Desika did not accept the invitation and sent 'vairagya panchakam' as his reply to vidyaranya.

This just an instance to show that some brahmins were gainfully employed and some chose to lead a simple life. There are enough instances to prove that brahmins served in all spheres - teachers, ministers, accountants, tax collectors, judges etc. (in the old pre british princely era).

Today too, brahmins can serve in all professions without giving up their anushtanam.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

One Chinese teen-ager sold his kidney!
Want to know WHY???
His father could not afford to buy him an I pad
and he badly needed one
so badly that he thought
it was more necessary than
one of his two kidneys. :tsk:

 

[sarang]

He is an uttaman; he did not sell his father's kidney. Is it the responsibility of the father to provide for his son's whims and fancies?

One Chinese teen-ager sold his kidney!
Want to know WHY???
His father could not afford to buy him an I pad
and he badly needed one
so badly that he thought
it was more necessary than
one of his two kidneys. :tsk:

 

[renuka]

Yesterday I asked my mother "Do you think that people of yesteryears were more contented and lead simple lives?"

Her reply was "No..they were not simple..they had all the time in the world to find fault with their Daughters In Law..these days people are busy running their own lives and do not torture their DIL as much"

 

[sarang]

Full of logical fallacies -hasty generalization, non-observation and a few more.

Like saying today's dils are pompous, self centered, deposit their pils in old peoples home with prepaid deposits and maintenance fees for one year.

Good and bad people are there in all four yugas.

Yesterday I asked my mother "Do you think that people of yesteryears were more contented and lead simple lives?"

Her reply was "No..they were not simple..they had all the time in the world to find fault with their Daughters In Law..these days people are busy running their own lives and do not torture their DIL as much"

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Full of logical fallacies -hasty generalization, non-observation and a few more.

Like saying today's dils are pompous, self centered, deposit their pils in old peoples home with prepaid deposits and maintenance fees for one year.

Good and bad people are there in all four yugas.

I am sure they WOULD if they COULD.
Still they ARE be better than the others
who leave the Ps.I.L high and dry!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Yesterday I asked my mother "Do you think that people of yesteryears were more contented and lead simple lives?"

Her reply was "No..they were not simple..they had all the time in the world to find fault with their Daughters In Law..these days people are busy running their own lives and do not torture their DIL as much"

Dear Renu!
The M.I.L had so much time that she would find fault not just with her D.I.L
but also with her parents, brothers and other sisters as well. :mmph:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

For every word spoken by the innocent D.I.L of the olden time,
ONE hundred different meanings would be FOUND OUT
by the fertile imagination (of the old lady) running riot!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu!
The M.I.L had so much time that she would find fault not just with her D.I.L
but also with her parents, brothers and other sisters as well. :mmph:

Dear VR ji,

LOL!

 

[renuka]

Thank God today we have MEGA Serials on TV to keep some MIL's busy!

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Thank God today we have MEGA Serials on TV to keep some MIL's busy!

They feel sorry, sympathize and shed tears for the serial daughters-in-law :Cry:

but squeeze dry (or be squeezed dry) by their own daughters in law. :heh: