sangom
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Smt. Revathy,...
2.Whereas Avani Avittam is a Vaidgha Festival - Sastras talk about this.In fact Men are supposed to be following Stricter rituals than the women as per Shri Nara and Shri Sangom.But somehow(??), the current practice is different.In my family , my MIL says that "Tiffen sappitu than Poonal Mathikkanum".Even in Poonal functions, I have seen the Poonal boys will be having Pongal first before Brahmopadesam.(We girls will be longing to be invited to eat that pongal - No way! - We will never be invited )
Permit me to say something after your nice epilogue.
The pongal before brahmopadesam is supposed to signify to the boy that his years of playful childhood is ending. So he has his last party with his playmates, before leaving them all. Young girls are also allowed to participate and eat along with the boys. I have read somewhere that the scriptures envisaged the mother also eating with her son; but today, the mother and father are required to (coffee) fast till they complete the Upadesam. The mother was allowed to do so because she would not be seeing her son for a number of years - till he returns as a young man, from the house of his guru.
In marriages, the bride - at least that is our custom - has a similar function, eating pongal, sweets, etc., along with her friends. This is called "thOzhip pongal". Boys might be eager (!) to be invited to this, considering the marriage age of girls today, but they are not permitted. The (silk) sari presented by the bride's maternal uncle is called "thOzhippongal sari/pudavai" and is worn just before this function, till she changes to the 9 yds pudavai later on. (Of course, with increased prosperity now, there are separate saris for Unjal, muhurtam (not kooRai), etc.)
The more orthodox among us do not allow the groom to eat tiffin till the laaja (puffed rice) homam is over; he has to subsist on coffee, milk, fruits, etc. only, on that memorable day till the noon meals!
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