What I fail to understand in an inter caste marriage..why does one partner need to behave and become another caste?
After all how different can a life style of a Hindu get?
Renukaji
Forget about inter caste ,even among Brahmin couples in today's times there is a vast difference in their outlook and way of life .
I have friends who are Brahmins and who are married to Brahmin girls but they have a very tough time even in fundamentals of so called following a Basic Hindu life .
Eg. The Husband wants a small puja alter if not for elaborate puja , at least to keep the pics of certain deities , light a lamp and spend few mts daily before doing a simple puja or some chants or silent meditation while the wife is least bothered in that and prefers an artistic show case in that place .
The husband wants to visit Temples during important days especially during festivals etc but the wife wants to go to Movies and eat out .
Sometimes it is reverse i.e wife is religious and husband is not and the above 2 examples apply for both cases .
One partner wants the child to learn Sanskrit and Hindu Culture while other think that Sanskrit is a dead language and since world is going Global one needs to learn French / Spanish to have the extra Edge .
Like these sometimes they break their head for finding consensus in simple day to day things and get frustrated in maintaining a basic Hindu way of life .
So it is not just a Brahmin , Non Brahmin issue .
I feel those couples ( even if they belong to different caste ) but have some common Hindu samskaras due to their and their families association with some good Hindu religious Organizations like Ramakrishna , Sivananda , Sathya Sai , Ramana Ashram etc from a young age have better compatibility and understanding in their day to day life that Brahmin couples who are poles apart in these things .
My cousin in Malaysia who are Brahmins got their daughter married to a Boy who was not a Brahmin but both these families have a long association with Satha Sai Organization and they are happily married with 2 kids .The usual Husband wife irritants are there but when it comes to following basic Hindu samskaras there is no problem at all for this couple or their families .
So this should be the key factor in a marriage I suppose .
If both are atheists / agnostic that is a different matter but if One wants to maintain some Hindu samskaras then it is better he/she choose a partner who has similar samskaras and if you cant find such a person in your own caste ,better to find it from another caste .
remind of this brilliant brilliant short film i came across a couple of years back! I had a permanent grin on my face for days! Ladies and gentlemen, may i present you ...drumroll please...Mr and Mr Iyer!!
eace: 
