On Finding A Match For A Brahmin Widower

[krish44]

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It goes against my grain that based on jati differentiation , one jati downgrades the others. the varna system was evolved centuries back to facilitate work allocation

among the caste groups. now it is used to practise discrimination against some groups. Brahmins consider that they belong to higher castes in caste heirarchy.

this is the cause of jealousy and hatred that others have towards them. practices such as untouchability are degrading to other humans . we all belong to human race.

There can be no compromises on equality and human dignity . No one can condone casteism as practised by some caste groups. It is unreasonable to expect people to

accept caste differences leave alone respecting it. There can be no discrimination on basis of caste. Sooner there is end of this, better it would be for our country

 

[sarang]

The title of this thread itself is varna centric. 90% of hindus are not brahmins, and every varana and jati other than brahmins also have a say in the way they live and practices they follow. Our constitution stresses the importance of jatis and their preservation.

Arm chair sociologists will do well to study and understand how this kind of diversity, sometimes mutually exclusive, was practised and social harmony was nurtured and maintained.

If one wants a castless society, he has to emigrate and become a catholic, protestant, methodist, syrian, wahabi, sunni, shia or any other denomination and practice their rules.

There was no jati or varna conflict in medieval period, and till the arrival of ROP and ROL.

Course should be peaceful resolution of conflicts.

 

[krish44]

I have no further interest in jati/varna discussions . I would like to be excused.

I am just interested in finding a match for a widowed relative with a child.this is the subject of the thread. It just happened he is a brahmin. I would accept anyone who

can bond with him and accept his child

regards .

 

[krish44]

I happened To add the words caste no bar in matrimonial profile of a girl relative

The result was amazing.

I got 360 interest responses in first 24 hours. this included about half from NB castes.My mobile kept on ringing until late night.This girl was 28yrs from singapore. in

less than a month the marriage got settled.Of course there was no need for her to opt for matches from other castes. I did get an iyer for an iyengar girl. but if one

indicates that one is liberal and open minded one gets very good matches. Even for this widower boy , I have got 5 to 6 acceptances within week of floating.The hit

rate is 5 percent though. I would be satisfied if I get about 10 prospects and can finalise one.one has to realise that the girls are calling the shots and parents of boys

have to accept the new realities.lol

everything depends on how one presents a profile and soft talking with prospective matches

 

[krish44]

I feel sorry about the plight of hundreds of girls all divorced ,Very few widowed.

They are well educated holding good jobs.

The number of tamil girls are in thousands. A few hundreds are tamil brahmins. The ratio of iyengar to iyers is 1:5.It is perhaps iyengars are a smaller community.

A very large number of the tamil brahmins are either bangalore based or in US/canada.

i tried two sites one predominently catering to south based persons ,the other a more cosmopolitan with all india clientele having a tamil subset.

most girls after their past experiences prefer to transact directly with the boy ..They feel very happy when I tell them to transact with the boy directly giving contact

details at the initial stage itself ,



all these girls hunger for simple things - a liberal mindset, open person respecting girls, companionship.They fear loss of financial independance after marriage . they

want simple acceptance of prospective in laws.

many want to escape their own families and would feel happy if they can go far away -in india or abroad and make a fresh beginning.

others the fearful type cling more to their own families and hang more firmly to their parents . these are types with children and would not like to risk a marriage

without their family s' continous support.

the first marriage and divorce leave a lot of scars though many claim they have put it behind them and they are ready to start afresh.

The foreign types are mostly cold and business like. They set out their preferences regarding education ,job, place in US/canada, visa types, when they are available

for communication etc. none of them talk gothra,sect ,horoscope etc. they do say they like music -both indian and western . They talk more about places they would

like to go for holidays or other hobbies or interests. They clam up about their parents or siblings or past husbands. None of them look for sympathy for broken past

life. They prefer boys in US/canada . Most do not want brahmins in india . They feel revolted by the mindset of brahmins in india and would like to avoid transacting

with them.

The world view of brahmin divorced girls is so different in india and abroad

 

[krish44]

one or two days back one member of this forum mentioned the name of a website which matches people scientifically using multiple criteria not available in

normal traditional matrimonial sites.

there was a feeling that it will appeal to facebook crowd and other modern youngsters who like to find a match on their own keeping their umpteen preferances.

I thought for want of better occupation put it to test.

I posted the profile of my relative and spent a few hours filling the most elaborate questionnaire.just curiousity to find what youngsters can hope to get.

the results -the first set of 25 prospects of most suitable did not consider the caste , language, location preferances. no horoscope , star,horoscope matches.

I got profiles of 25 pretty girls from all over india,with nice photo, education , jobs with their desires for a boy open minded with good looks,academically proficient and

decent jobs . They appeared to be well matched with the boys along with common hobbies and interests. I got the option to chitchat online, talk by calling etc all for a

price. I wonder if this is the direction we are all heading all over india and abroad. Are all traditional ways of finding a match going for a toss and what matters are

only this.

 

[vgane]

one or two days back one member of this forum mentioned the name of a website which matches people scientifically using multiple criteria not available in

normal traditional matrimonial sites.

there was a feeling that it will appeal to facebook crowd and other modern youngsters who like to find a match on their own keeping their umpteen preferances.

I thought for want of better occupation put it to test.

I posted the profile of my relative and spent a few hours filling the most elaborate questionnaire.just curiousity to find what youngsters can hope to get.

the results -the first set of 25 prospects of most suitable did not consider the caste , language, location preferances. no horoscope , star,horoscope matches.

I got profiles of 25 pretty girls from all over india,with nice photo, education , jobs with their desires for a boy open minded with good looks,academically proficient and

decent jobs . They appeared to be well matched with the boys along with common hobbies and interests. I got the option to chitchat online, talk by calling etc all for a

price. I wonder if this is the direction we are all heading all over india and abroad. Are all traditional ways of finding a match going for a toss and what matters are

only this.

Please watch out...Lots of fake profiles are in circulation...Read this..

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/...kh-3-held-in-Gurgaon/articleshow/47951982.cms

 

[krish44]

Please watch out...Lots of fake profiles are in circulation...Read this..

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/...kh-3-held-in-Gurgaon/articleshow/47951982.cms

Thanks for the tip off.

I find it amusing that someone can con a widower with a kid.

It should provide unlimited entertainment and be a plot for a comedy film. lol

 

[renuka]

I feel sorry about the plight of hundreds of girls all divorced ,Very few widowed.

They are well educated holding good jobs.

The number of tamil girls are in thousands. A few hundreds are tamil brahmins. The ratio of iyengar to iyers is 1:5.It is perhaps iyengars are a smaller community.

A very large number of the tamil brahmins are either bangalore based or in US/canada.

i tried two sites one predominently catering to south based persons ,the other a more cosmopolitan with all india clientele having a tamil subset.

most girls after their past experiences prefer to transact directly with the boy ..They feel very happy when I tell them to transact with the boy directly giving contact

details at the initial stage itself ,



all these girls hunger for simple things - a liberal mindset, open person respecting girls, companionship.They fear loss of financial independance after marriage . they

want simple acceptance of prospective in laws.

many want to escape their own families and would feel happy if they can go far away -in india or abroad and make a fresh beginning.

others the fearful type cling more to their own families and hang more firmly to their parents . these are types with children and would not like to risk a marriage

without their family s' continous support.

the first marriage and divorce leave a lot of scars though many claim they have put it behind them and they are ready to start afresh.

The foreign types are mostly cold and business like. They set out their preferences regarding education ,job, place in US/canada, visa types, when they are available

for communication etc. none of them talk gothra,sect ,horoscope etc. they do say they like music -both indian and western . They talk more about places they would

like to go for holidays or other hobbies or interests. They clam up about their parents or siblings or past husbands. None of them look for sympathy for broken past

life. They prefer boys in US/canada . Most do not want brahmins in india . They feel revolted by the mindset of brahmins in india and would like to avoid transacting

with them.

The world view of brahmin divorced girls is so different in india and abroad

Girls from India seem a fussy lot..why the heck so many conditions..who cares who likes what type of music.

When I got married..I did not even ask my husband what type of music he liked..whether he liked rock or heavy metal or anything Indian or fusion or God knows.

How does the choice of music matter in life as husband and wife?

I did not bother to ask him what are his hobbies etc cos all that are secondary..the most important is getting the Kuch Kuch Hota Hai feeling when a mappillai comes to view a bride.

All stuff like choice of music..choice of god knows what are not important..one should learn how to build marriage together and not just try to find match on stuff that don't really matter.

I think people think that being compatible is having the same choice in everything! That is not always true..in fact its never true.

Being compatible is not being a clone but being a couple with differences that complement each other.

 

[krish44]

In our younger days , all our community girls were expected to be proficient in carnatic music. Some had to prove their talent in singing when boy with his parents called on

them too 'see' the girl. how many sang later on day to day basis is open to question. mostly boys faced the music from girls after marriage.lol

 

[krish44]

Central minister Mrs Menaka Gandhi is imploring the matrimonial websites to insist on Aadhar verification of members to weed out fake profiles. many women are getting

duped by such men.the websites are reluctant as it means doubting potential members credentials and they claim they have sufficient checks to verify authenticity of

profiles.