I am a tamil brahmin who has moved to chennai recently.
I have observed that in chennai, the owners (especially if they are brahmins) do not allow pithru karyams like masyam and shrardham ( I am not talking about the first 13 days rituals after death) to be performed at home by the tenants. This is not the case in other cities outside tamil nadu. I have stayed in mumbai and hyderabad, where people are most acceptable and friendly.
I have also observed majority people doing pithru karyams at public venues reserved for this purpose. Shouldn't this be the last resort? that is, if there are unavoidable circumstances at home, one can understand. It is considered auspicious if these rituals are performed at home. can someone tell me why chennai isn't open to it?
This is a belated response but I came across this only now.
I understand that in Chennai many landlords do not allow pitrukarmas to be done in rented premises; more than water charges and all that, this sort of objection seems to have originated from two points:
1. The performance of pitrukarma/sraaddham "will invite alien pitrus (read ghosts) to my dear, dear house and it may not go away and so subsequently, I will have to do some parihaaram in order to get rid of it".
2. The performance of sraaddha homam by someone else is inauspicious for the house.
This seems to me to be a be well-founded (!) fear because, whereas the house owner has the court and legal remedies to evict the living tenant, he does not have similar avenues open to evict the pitrus who may get a liking to live in the rented house of their descendant.
I am also told that such fears are harboured more by the womenfolk and men have to dutifully obey. When some home owners put such restrictions on their tenants all others followed suit so that they don't become fools!
Elders held the view that aparakarma and sraaddha should be performed in one's own house except in those pilgrimage places like Kasi, Gaya and Rameswaram. According to them (elders of the previous generations) sraaddha and aparakarma performed in someone else's house (except that of a sapinda jnaati) will not reach the pitrus. So, to believe one portion of the belief saying we are doing it for our satisfaction and neglecting the other half of the traditionally held belief that such rituals should be done in specified places only, is left to the sweet will of the present day religiousness of brahmins.
Apart from all these considerations, I have observed that the items prepared for a variety of rituals in mandapams are dealt with in the most careless (it is rank "asraddha" to the core) manner by the employees. They look at it no better than a cook or server of a wayside hotel will look at his job. In one instance I found that what was left of the pinda rice preparation from a ceremony for a "durmarana" by drowning, was immediately transferred to another vessel and given to another group which was probably doing the 11th. day ceremony!
I personally feel that instead of fooling ourselves and enriching the vaadhyaars and mandapam authorities, the money can be better utilized in doing something good to inmates of orphanages and old age homes, etc. Here also there are many money-making enterprises and we do not know which are reliable; so instead of giving money we should invariably buy the clothes, arrange for food and see that it is actually given to each inmate. We can do take at least this much strain for our parents'/ancestors' memory.
but now i can do even in golden homagundam that is different but i fed up the way bramhins have changed and felt ashamed to tell iam a bramhin. this is the excat fact. My request is instead of going behind this selfish people we can arrange a food donation in the name of the dead person so lot of foodless childrennwill be happy that day and the dead people will also rest in peace and wish us.:tinfoil3:
