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questions wandering in my head
- Thread starter ctfxc
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N
Nara
Guest
Nice thoughts, now, how are we going to get this done. I know K will agree with me, but not sure about others, that we do this not by telling her what all this means, but by being supportive of her and loving her unconditionally when she makes these mistakes, and learns ....
renuka
Well-known member
Nice but one has to apply lots of Viveka to practise it these days cos some woman can also take advantage of a nice man and treat him badly.
C RAVI
0
That's why just educating girls and boys by their parents just as a subject, is not enough. Instilling values, good attitude, behavior, descipline etc etc. to enhance the personality quality of the children is must by the parents. Provided parents had the same or atleast perceived good qualities later in life and have some wisdom.
Basically it is said that - "YATHAA RAJA THATHAA PRAJA" (As the King, so the subjects). But in this fast changing dynamic world, it is really a challenge for parents to see if their children are successfully moulded for the better.
If husband and wife are in tango for the good, in good terms with love, care, affection, respect etc for each other, they can expect to bring up their children as good humans, together.
In many families, children get spoiled, seeing the clash between parents and end up into domestic politics for their benefit. Irnoically what they think as their benefit, mostly turn out to be a nightmare for themselves. At the end, both the children and their parents suffer some way.
Good and healthy relationship between husband and wife with honest exchange of love, care, commitment, affection, respect etc.etc would ensure bringing up good children with healthy mental perceptions and would lead to a healthy society.
S
Servall
Guest
Renu:
What a sobering thought!! I have felt the same way many times. When I get off the plane in Chennai and during my drive home 3am to my home, I see all those helpless families especially the children, huddled along the crosswalks, some of them naked in filth and dirt and my heart sinks 30000 feet....when I compare my life with them and especially that of my children, how do I feel?
Same thing, when I was driving from Delhi to Jaipur for sightseeing in the weehours of the morning in december I look at all those families huddled and keep themselves warm outside of their huts in fire in big cans, how do I feel justifying my existence and life style? When I try to explain the value of money to my teenager when she goes and buys $ 200 huggs and compares her lifestyle to what she saw during that drive, she understands and feels hurt and could this lead to her loving more of her fellow humans?
Perhaps not in the real sense. I know I cannot help the whole mankind but I can do in my own ways to help those that are hurt? My belief is love is fine and love takes different shapes and meanings to different relationships; but until that love is expressed in a meaningful way, it does not drive home to the other person your true feeling of love to them. If we love our wives, kids, brothers and sisters and fellow human beings, that must be expressed in meaningful acts otherwise it just stays as a word called love. Do I make sense?
Sorry ctfxc, didnt mean to hijack your thread, but thought Renu's comments were so telling.......
What a sobering thought!! I have felt the same way many times. When I get off the plane in Chennai and during my drive home 3am to my home, I see all those helpless families especially the children, huddled along the crosswalks, some of them naked in filth and dirt and my heart sinks 30000 feet....when I compare my life with them and especially that of my children, how do I feel?
Same thing, when I was driving from Delhi to Jaipur for sightseeing in the weehours of the morning in december I look at all those families huddled and keep themselves warm outside of their huts in fire in big cans, how do I feel justifying my existence and life style? When I try to explain the value of money to my teenager when she goes and buys $ 200 huggs and compares her lifestyle to what she saw during that drive, she understands and feels hurt and could this lead to her loving more of her fellow humans?
Perhaps not in the real sense. I know I cannot help the whole mankind but I can do in my own ways to help those that are hurt? My belief is love is fine and love takes different shapes and meanings to different relationships; but until that love is expressed in a meaningful way, it does not drive home to the other person your true feeling of love to them. If we love our wives, kids, brothers and sisters and fellow human beings, that must be expressed in meaningful acts otherwise it just stays as a word called love. Do I make sense?
Sorry ctfxc, didnt mean to hijack your thread, but thought Renu's comments were so telling.......
Apologies in advance ctfxc but i couldn't think of anywhere better than this thread to post this piece of horrific news. Helpless families, and the needy are depressing enough, how about this. A poor little baby of 2 years run over twice in China and more than 18 people passed by till anyone came to help! Life sure is cheap in parts of the world. Imagine this happening to your baby people! I cannot bring myself to watch the video. I'll sick to the core just reading it. RIP poor baby 
Horrific footage shows two-year-old girl run over TWICE as dozens of people ignore her lying stricken on the road in China | Mail Online
Horrific footage shows two-year-old girl run over TWICE as dozens of people ignore her lying stricken on the road in China | Mail Online
Apologies in advance ctfxc but i couldn't think of anywhere better than this thread to post this piece of horrific news. Helpless families, and the needy are depressing enough, how about this. A poor little baby of 2 years run over twice in China and more than 18 people passed by till anyone came to help! Life sure is cheap in parts of the world. Imagine this happening to your baby people! I cannot bring myself to watch the video. I'll sick to the core just reading it. RIP poor baby
Horrific footage shows two-year-old girl run over TWICE as dozens of people ignore her lying stricken on the road in China | Mail Online
poor babyyyyyy. The bystander effect: I don't know who is worst... the guy who ran her over, or the 18 people who just went past and didn't help. Especially...the motorcyclist who swerves around her and continues on his way... and the parent who walks past with his kid. How can he do that? RIP.
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"The Paradox of Our Time
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. W...e've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. "
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. W...e've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. "
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
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C RAVI
0
:thumb:
I just came across this article and it reminded me of this thread 
Rachel Greenwald: Is Getting Married Just a Big Crapshoot?
"When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best". Cynical much?
Rachel Greenwald: Is Getting Married Just a Big Crapshoot?
"When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best". Cynical much?
I just came across this article and it reminded me of this thread
Rachel Greenwald: Is Getting Married Just a Big Crapshoot?
"When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best". Cynical much?
Nice article, I actually liked it. After all one woman's cynicism is another man's realism.
I would take the gambling analogy a bit further. When you enter a casino, you know you are going to lose. The question is: how long can you keep playing?
renuka
Well-known member
You know there are many types of human beings.Some just get bored of anything and everything and start wondering what is exactly love.
I really wonder how some people can still go on feeling Love and say that it never changes..dont know? may be there are capable of feeling that Love is everything in life or may be they are not admitting what they really feel or may be they havent had time to wonder "what is love?"
I dont know but some of us are not too "attached" to anyone and take a practical approach in life.
Off late I have noticed that I dont shed tears for any close relative that died of old age and had a good life.I feel its their time to go and I dont feel even a bit sad.
But I can feel sad when I read in the newspapers about anyone who had a painful death..like for example I felt sad seeing the pic of Ghaddafi cos I was thinking he must have suffered pain when he died.His pic made me feel uneasy but I didnt feel even a little sad when my dads sister passed away last week.(cos she died of old age)
Yes Renu i agree people are different but i sincerely believe (and this is with anything, exams, job, life) that approaching marriage with such a negative mindset like "how long can we keep playing?" and so on is just not going to help at all. That doesn't mean we must make believe that it is all hunky dory but a wee bit of positive thinking goes a longg way IMHO.
One either makes the right decision or if not possible make the decision come right!
One either makes the right decision or if not possible make the decision come right!
Whenever we throw a die in a board game, when we want a particular digit, we earnestly and strongly pray for that number; in case of marriage too, we must throw the die with a strong wish and prayer for a partner with all the sterling qualities we cherish.
I just came across this article and it reminded me of this thread
Rachel Greenwald: Is Getting Married Just a Big Crapshoot?
"When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best". Cynical much?
C RAVI
0
Dear Amala,
In my opinion, the statement - "When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best", is not at all cynical.
With our rational intelligence, we may/can be confident with knowing ourself as what we want, what is possible for us and what can we acheive. And as such may/can succeed in getting what we desired.
But human psychology is too complex and our rational brain can hardly crack it to see what exactly can be expected of a person during each phase of relationship in marriage.
When two individuals live together under one roof in a day to day life, there are many factors that can potentially influence the actions and reactions between them.
Getting/feeling satisfied and feeling happy and rejoiced seems (many times) to be not so easy for many humans.
Neither being too robotic nor being too casual in deciding with selection and marriage can guarantee a successful and happy marriage till the end. The things that matters are good attitude, maturity, reasonable wisdom, composed mind set etc are all that are needed to sustain a marriage relationship, unless seperation is most warranted due irreparable circumstances.
Too much of thinking, preoccupying the mind and being pessimistic would not help any one to be bold enough to get into marriage and start living with positive hopes from the very begining.
The only way for marrying men and women is to be prudent, having right attitude and perceptions and be optimistic. Theists singles can pray almighty as well for a good partner and be confident on GOD, carrying the determination of giving the best possible to one's future spouse.
How about campaigning for total, legal and social destruction of the system of marriages. Let man be free and so be woman. The question of issues would not arise. If you fall sick there are machines, gadgets, etc. supported by robots and doctors. And this will solve so many other problems, too, as spin off!
Modern management mantra is teamwork, consensus, collective leadership, sacrificing of ego for achieving common goal and so on. When a high paid management consultant exhorts us to follow these blindly, we all cheer and conclude that the consultant is fantastic and deserves his fees. Should we not apply the same principles in our personal life ironing out marital differences as and when they occur.
prasad1
Active member
Sometimes we need arbitration, here in us now they have marriage Councilors. I do not know their success rate? When all fails divorce lawyers are there to take your money.
Post#93, Iyyarooran.
Socially marriage is a dying institutions in the west. People have been cohabitationg, and having children out of wedlock. The problem is the legal status and causes problem during probate, medical, and government benefit programs.
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Re Post # 94
There is no or should not be any profit motive in a life of the married. The management mantra is all for profit making for somebody or some group. In married life you can and should only hope for salvation. Again the goal of salvation is individualistic.
There is no or should not be any profit motive in a life of the married. The management mantra is all for profit making for somebody or some group. In married life you can and should only hope for salvation. Again the goal of salvation is individualistic.
For a moment, I read this as "modern marriage mantra".
You are partly right; this is old marriage mantra.
N.R.Ranganathan
Active member
This is what is happening in tribal society in the interior forests. Wife is not your
property.
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