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Today's young Girls and their mothers Behaviour during girl's alliance
- Thread starter jaichand
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renuka
Well-known member
Dear Kunjuppu Sir,
I expected to get your reply when I was typing the word 'dark'!
I do not say that dark is bad but the fair and very fair girls think that they have a big asset! No one can deny this. Have you
ever thought why so many varieties of fairness creams flood the market, now, even for men.
See this video please: John Abraham endorses Garnier Mens fairness cream
Most people of our community has the medium complexion and rarely there are very fair complexioned people. I wrote that
word dark because, previously girls were rejected by their complexion and now dozens of them seek the girl! :thumb:
Dear RR ji,
For Indians its ok for the guy to be dark or even very dark but the girl HAS to be fair.
We Indians still measure beauty by skin color..I still remember when I got married since my husband is slightly fairer to me..some of his relatives commented that he could have got a fairer girl!LOL
tbs
0
hi madam,
if the boys start to venture into other community.....then the brahmin gals has to survive with additional burden of next generation....
brahmin boys can easily accomodate with social drinking/non veg with other community gals....but the gal has to face the problem.
முள்ளு எலைமேலே விழுந்தாலும் ....எலை முல்லுமேலே விழுந்தாலும் ....நஷ்டம்
எலைக்கு தான்.....முள்ளுக்கு இல்லை....இது தான் நியதி....
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Raji Ram
Active member
Dear Renu,
How else do you think that 'kaNNaa' song was a big hit those days!!
I am medium complexioned and when our family friend met Ram's family, he told my dad, 'nalla vELa, mAppiLLai Rajiyai vida oru
shade-u kammithAn!' :gossip: That friend was so worried because Ram's sisters are all very fair complexioned!
renuka
Well-known member
LOL!
Oh..so there are various grades of Kudi Magans and Smokers....Laghu(Light) and Guru(Heavy).
Once my husband and I had gone to a Kashmiri Muslim Furniture shop here to check out some stuff and the sales person( Kashmiri Muslim) was insisting on showing us the mini bar wine storing cabinet.
We told him we do not want that cos we do not drink and the next moment he assumed that we have to be Muslims cos he told us "Ok then brother and sister for Eid this year why don't you change some furniture and also there are some new design prayer mats"
I was thinking "OMG..that means so many Hindus must be coming to buy that mini bar cabinet he was selling that he assumed if someone did not drink he/she has to be a Muslim!"
After leaving the shop my husband and I thought of the plight of Hindus..that a Hindu is always assumed to be a Kudi Magan!..how sad.
Anyway I got a nice discount from the item I bought from that shop..too bad that guy assumed I am Muslim and gave me a good discount!LOL
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Dear Tmt RR
Your post # 12
I guess you are correct - Ladies do all the talking, all the time. Menfolk are just mute spectators.
There was this thing about husband-wife communication, when the husband confided to a friend that
he hadn't spoken to his wife for six months, because he didn't want to interrupt her !
Mami = talkative / vambu / gossip / colluding / conspiring / scheming / vindictive.
Mama = silent / stoic / philosophical / tolerant / understanding / adjusting and forgiving.
Pitiable, RAM GARU !
Guruvethunai
Yay Yem
Your post # 12
I guess you are correct - Ladies do all the talking, all the time. Menfolk are just mute spectators.
There was this thing about husband-wife communication, when the husband confided to a friend that
he hadn't spoken to his wife for six months, because he didn't want to interrupt her !
Mami = talkative / vambu / gossip / colluding / conspiring / scheming / vindictive.
Mama = silent / stoic / philosophical / tolerant / understanding / adjusting and forgiving.
Pitiable, RAM GARU !
Guruvethunai
Yay Yem
renuka
Well-known member
Dear AM ji,
Not always..in fact the mappilai's who came to see me majority had talkative fathers and silent mothers.
Talkative women are better cos at least we know what is in their mind.
I said No to all those who had silent mothers cos they could have been SILENT KILLERS who pre programmed their husbands to do all the talking.
Believe me..a silent women is the more dangerous one!
Most of the while talkative women are actually less troublesome to others.
Raji Ram
Active member
Objection your honour!
My Ram is one of the blessed souls on earth, since he got me as his better half! :thumb:
Raji Ram
Active member
:drum: You know what Renu? J . . . . to you. :lol:
An example of the 'male supremacy' is seen in the advertisement of Sankara TV for their matrimonial portal. In that advt the tired and anguished father of a girl curses her for his inability to find a suitable bridegroom. I was shocked to see this advt which is totally out of sync with reality.
Dear Dr Renu
Your post # 33
That's probably because that's the only opportunity they got to speak anything at all, maybe in years
- sort of " Garuda Sowkyama " . I shudder to think what would have become of them when they got home.
As far as I am concerned, I'd rather keep quiet and appear stupid, than open my mouth and remove all doubt..
[ Thanks to Mark Twain ] .
Ram Garu - ' blessed ' because of having got you or despite it !!!!!!???!!!
Dear subbu48 - your post # 36, Yes I saw it too and had a similar impression.
Guruvethunai
Yay yem
Your post # 33
That's probably because that's the only opportunity they got to speak anything at all, maybe in years
- sort of " Garuda Sowkyama " . I shudder to think what would have become of them when they got home.
As far as I am concerned, I'd rather keep quiet and appear stupid, than open my mouth and remove all doubt..
[ Thanks to Mark Twain ] .
Ram Garu - ' blessed ' because of having got you or despite it !!!!!!???!!!
Dear subbu48 - your post # 36, Yes I saw it too and had a similar impression.
Guruvethunai
Yay yem
Dear raji,
So I caught the bait eh!
Seriously let me explain. All along, parents included, we have always discounted certain points for dark colour. However latchaNam the girl maybe, if she is dark, it has been drummed into her psyche, that somehow she is ‘inferior’ to her fair skinned sisters, however unattractive or plain these may be. A plain white jane is any day preferable to a dark skinned beauty. My family too.
About 8 years ago, a niece was coming of marriage age and varan hunted started. Right at the offset the parents cautioned her re high expectations. Add to it, she did not do well in studies, and her degree was just earned for marriage. But the parents had the shock of their lives, at the literally hundreds of responses to one single ad in shadi.com. living in the gulf they were unaware of the lopsided favour their daughter had re tambram girls.
The girlsparents picked and chose, one sweet good looking fair skinned guy, who lived in the usa. The niece is pretty but dark, and now they have two children – a girl as fair as the father, and a son as dusky as the mother. I can hear murmurs re the son’s colour, but happily, I have to say in the usa, among Indians, and tambrams in particular, I have not seen the petty colour consciousness that we see in india. After all, they have the pure white skin, all around them, and against it, any shade of brown, pales into insignificance, if skin tone should turn to a criteria.
A good lesson from your post that I learned – the girl in question, obviously did not consider her dark skin as a factor or a handicap. Plainly she did not discount her expectations because of that, and I am 100% behind her and this attitude. It is high time we got off this colour pedestal, and look at us as we all are – human beings with shades of brown, and no reason why we are the colour shade we are. If you put all my relations in a room, I have the most fair Mediterranean variety to the dark as charcoal types. Based on skin colour, there is no indication of success in life or goodness of the human being. That can happen in all shades
So I caught the bait eh!
Seriously let me explain. All along, parents included, we have always discounted certain points for dark colour. However latchaNam the girl maybe, if she is dark, it has been drummed into her psyche, that somehow she is ‘inferior’ to her fair skinned sisters, however unattractive or plain these may be. A plain white jane is any day preferable to a dark skinned beauty. My family too.
About 8 years ago, a niece was coming of marriage age and varan hunted started. Right at the offset the parents cautioned her re high expectations. Add to it, she did not do well in studies, and her degree was just earned for marriage. But the parents had the shock of their lives, at the literally hundreds of responses to one single ad in shadi.com. living in the gulf they were unaware of the lopsided favour their daughter had re tambram girls.
The girlsparents picked and chose, one sweet good looking fair skinned guy, who lived in the usa. The niece is pretty but dark, and now they have two children – a girl as fair as the father, and a son as dusky as the mother. I can hear murmurs re the son’s colour, but happily, I have to say in the usa, among Indians, and tambrams in particular, I have not seen the petty colour consciousness that we see in india. After all, they have the pure white skin, all around them, and against it, any shade of brown, pales into insignificance, if skin tone should turn to a criteria.
A good lesson from your post that I learned – the girl in question, obviously did not consider her dark skin as a factor or a handicap. Plainly she did not discount her expectations because of that, and I am 100% behind her and this attitude. It is high time we got off this colour pedestal, and look at us as we all are – human beings with shades of brown, and no reason why we are the colour shade we are. If you put all my relations in a room, I have the most fair Mediterranean variety to the dark as charcoal types. Based on skin colour, there is no indication of success in life or goodness of the human being. That can happen in all shades
renuka
Well-known member
Dear Sir,
There is TV show on Zee TV which shows all supernatural stories.
In one episode a father who is a poor village teacher has 3 daughters.
The elder 2 are not beautiful and only the younger one is beautiful.
So the father finds it hard to get grooms for the elder two girls and one fine day he kills them both by lacing their food with poison and buries their body.
The girls then come back as ghost and posses the younger sister asking an explanation why they were killed and the father tells them that he was unable to find grooms for them and he could not afford dowry asked by the grooms since the girls were not beautiful.
So father goes to jail for his crime and the commentator on the story says that it is wrong to murder but at the same time we have to understand that the father's plight too.
I was thinking no matter what..murder is NOT an excuse and even if the girls did not get married at least they still have a right to live!
I was quite taken aback by the commentator saying that "we have to taken into account the father's plight too".
right on renu. my mother used to strongly believe that the loud mouths are fairly honest simple and dont keep anything in their minds. it is the still waters that run deep.
..on the other hand
..is it not the empty vessel that makes the most noise ? eh eh!
Raji Ram
Active member
'Cholesterol' effect, A M Sir??
I wrote 'since' and NOT 'though', OK??
Naina_Marbus
Active member
tbs
0
hi
there is no life with out risk.....we TB always avoiding risk taking attitudes.....many fishes with sharks and dolpin tooo....
P.J.
0
The problem of finding suitable alliance can be felt only by those who are searching for an alliance; my brother in law is doing it for the past 6 years even though he has no condition; some of my relatives too find it hard to get any alliance for their son even after a few years of search; who are not in the same position can give any number of advice, but the pain is only felt by the parents of the boys.
Raji Ram
Active member
I find that the problem lies in deciding the limit! No person is perfect in this world but no one want to admit this.
Parents think that their son or daughter is perfect go in search of another Miss / Mr Perfect. There is no satisfaction
in mind. Building the family on love and affection seems to be history. Now a days, MONEY is the basement.
I have seen some astrologers matching horoscopes in such a way that the very timid person gets a strong minded
person as the partner so that their family will run smoothly! One of my uncles had the horoscope of a saint and the
astrologer selected a girl's horoscope which has 'mohini' features!! I am not writing this for supporting horoscope
readings. But I write because, the word 'compatibility' plays a BIG role in selections. There is no compromise in any
aspect like status, education, complexion, height, weight, salary, place of job, independent parents, siblings and the
list goes on and on. The parents of grooms are able to compromise where as the parents (esp. the mother) do not
wish to compromise. Being very tall comes in the way for one of Ram's nephews though he is very well placed,
handsome, draws a big salary packet and has independent parents. The added problem is that he is a single child!! :tsk:
renuka
Well-known member
Dear RR ji,
That is why I have decided to do away with this arranged marriage system..it is more like a business transaction I feel.
I have told my son that when he grows up he has to find his own spouse.
I feel that will be better..at the end of the day most marriages whether love or arranged are almost the same.
The problem is most of us Indians want perfection which does not actually exists and we should have an open mind to accept the reality that sometimes marriages can fail and if that happens..the next step of action should be taken..either to save or discontinue the marriage.
Raji Ram
Active member
Very well said Renu! :thumb:
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