Today's young Girls and their mothers Behaviour during girl's alliance

[Govi]

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Hi Members

This is an interesting topic and you will never find an exact choice, if your ulterior motive is to show off in the community and want to have an upper hand every where. The topic is girls and family showing off, asking for it, all is good but even if the boy compromises on all this, if you don't have any good understanding, you will never have a lasting relationship. All your possession is not worth, if you can't have a happy family. Again the happiness differs from individual to individual. After 40 you can't have a good life, because you start getting old and cannot perform as you would think. So my request to all those who are in search to get settled soon... and enjoy the life as it comes. Because your deeds from present or past will be with you, and will continue to bother you for good or bad. I think for the present nano family set up there should be some counselling like in states, for the parents and the girls/boys before marriage. Some useful tips can be on drdar.com. On our community the state of boys of very bad as of now, and worst if you don't have high education.... So boys better gear up..... Best wishes....

Regards
Govi

 

[Raji Ram]

............. Mami = talkative / vambu / gossip / colluding / conspiring / scheming / vindictive. .........

Dear A M Sir,

Not all mAmis! Do you know why? I came to know about the murder (OMG!!!!) in the next road, only from the news

channels and NOT from any of the mAmis in our colony!

What news????? Here it is:

Kathiravan hacked to death

 

[Naina_Marbus]

….my brother in law is doing it (the searching) for the past 6 years even though he has no condition; some of my relatives too find it hard to get any alliance for their son even after a few years of search….

Are you sure there are no pre-conditions? What about social status? This is one of the major stumbling factors.

If there is willingness to ignore social status, there are alternatives. In fact, many elders have been heard saying “பெண்ணை மேலே கொடு பிள்ளையை கீழே கொடு”
Every year, at least in Chennai, there are brahmin organizations that conduct annual get-together of parents with unmarried sons and daughters. Parents go there with their wards, interact with other families and have the opportunity to enter into alliances. For any one interested, it is easy to find out about these get-togethers which usually take place in a respectable community hall.

 

[renuka]

Dear A M Sir,

Not all mAmis! Do you know why? I came to know about the murder (OMG!!!!) in the next road, only from the news

channels and NOT from any of the mAmis in our colony!

What news????? Here it is:

Kathiravan hacked to death

OMG this is so scary..like some Tamil Movies.

Why do people kill like this..if they really need to kill someone cant they use less painful methods like shooting?

Some 2 weeks back out here some Malaysian Indian male was shot dead at a petrol station at point blank range.

He died on the spot.

It is so dangerous to be shooting in a petrol station cos there is a risk of an explosion if the bullet missed the targets and hits a petrol storage instead.

 

[Raji Ram]

......... Every year, at least in Chennai, there are brahmin organizations that conduct annual get-together of parents with unmarried sons and daughters. Parents go there with their wards, interact with other families and have the opportunity to enter into alliances. For any one interested, it is easy to find out about these get-togethers which usually take place in a respectable community hall.

Dear Naina Sir,

This happens in a few other cities too. The immediate next meet is on 24th March at Palakkad.

But I heard that the majority is the parents of the grooms. Times have changed - grooms are hunting for brides!

One popular matrimony site arranges the periodical 'on line meet' and the next one is on 24th evening!

 

[Naina_Marbus]

hi
there is no life with out risk.....we TB always avoiding risk taking attitudes.....many fishes with sharks and dolpin tooo....

I would anyday prefer dolphins to sharks. Dolphins are among the most intelligent animals, and they are often friendly too.

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear Paddu Sir

Your post # 44. I agree with you. Dr Ross in post # 49 has a very valid point.

Instead of just sympathizing and beating-around-the bush, maybe I could something to help
your b-in-law in this - let me have the particulars .

We'll take it on from there.

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear Dr Ross

Your post # 52.

Yes Dr, dolphins are any day better - they'll make very docile, humble, loyal, obedient husbands
who can be well trained and domesticated.

Yay Yem

 

[Naina_Marbus]

…..Being very tall comes in the way for one of Ram's nephews thoughhe is very well placed, handsome, draws a big salary packet and has independentparents. The added problem is that he is a single child!!

I suggest that the nephew under discussion get a job in the Netherlands or Denmark. He would have no problem finding a spouse there. Statistically, the tallest people in the world, as measured by country are the Dutch. The average height for all adults for the Netherlands is 6 feet 1 inch (1.85 m). People living in the Netherlands are on average, the tallest people. Next to the Dutch, are the Danes. Average height in Denmark is 6 feet (1.83 m). Americans, by comparison, are on average about 5 feet 9 inches (1.76 m).

http://www.wisegeek.org/which-country-has-the-tallest-people.htm

 

[renuka]

dolphins are any day better - they'll make very docile, humble, loyal, obedient husbands
who can be well trained and domesticated.

Yay Yem

Dear AM sir,

You forgot 2 very important points..Dolphins are also very intelligent and loving.

So I don't think they make good husbands..they make good wives!LOL

 

[renuka]

Dear Naina Sir,

This happens in a few other cities too. The immediate next meet is on 24th March at Palakkad.

But I heard that the majority is the parents of the grooms. Times have changed - grooms are hunting for brides!

One popular matrimony site arranges the periodical 'on line meet' and the next one is on 24th evening!

Dear RR ji,

After reading all about matrimony I feel like starting some matrimony site..throw one big wild party..everyone gets drunk or have their drinks spiked and next day they will be forced to marry each other!

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear Dr Renu

Your post # 57 - God! It reminds me of those MADAMS , owning those huge estates
and lovely villas on the Mediterranean. They have these 'meetings' frequently when each displays her 'toy boy'.

I understand there is a lot of 'swapping' that takes place when everybody gets high on 'hormone cocktails'.

And then, "everybody lives happily ever after...........".

Just wonder, how "WILD" your party will be !

Yay Yem

 

[XLR8R]

some of his relatives commented that he could have got a fairer girl!

Yeah, I keep getting told that I "deserve" a "white girl", ludicrous as it sounds.

I don't think Kudi Magan/Magals statistics are community based alone..I feel it's an individual choice.

Yes, it is an individual choice. For example, I have not touched alcohol in my life despite it being offered to me many times

But, in all fairness, just because someone drinks does not mean he or she is a drunkard

After leaving the shop my husband and I thought of the plight of Hindus..that a Hindu is always assumed to be a Kudi Magan!..how sad.

I have never had this experience anywhere in India to be honest.....

Every year, at least in Chennai, there are brahmin organizations that conduct annual get-together of parents with unmarried sons and daughters. Parents go there with their wards, interact with other families and have the opportunity to enter into alliances.

This is very weird and seems very unnatural to me. It is just better for the unmarried ones to find someone by themselves and not involve the parents until the marriage is all but agreed to. Parents know me, but my parents are not me. They can't think like I do, and hence they are not the total authority on what I want/need!

The bottom line is, I mean what I say - we ought to change the way our kids are being raised, otherwise the future generation will suffer for it, and it will also lead to an increase in crimes against women (this is already happening today!). Equality means exactly that, let's not put gender roles and assume what the man has to do and what the woman has to do in a "proper" married life.

 

[sarang]

Duryodhana, to discredit Krishna, throws a party, uses hie wife as a bait with spiked drinks. Krishna, the clever one, leaves her under the care of grandma Satyavati.

Source: Krishnavatara by Sri K M Munshi.

Krishnavatara originally appeared as a serial in the Bhavan's journal, later published in 7 volumes by Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan. Munshi passed away two days after he finished the manuscript of chapter 13, (volume 7) leaving his work unfinished.

Very interesting book set.

Dear RR ji,

After reading all about matrimony I feel like starting some matrimony site..throw one big wild party..everyone gets drunk or have their drinks spiked and next day they will be forced to marry each other!

 

[renuka]

Dear Dr Renu

Your post # 57 - God! It reminds me of those MADAMS , owning those huge estates
and lovely villas on the Mediterranean. They have these 'meetings' frequently when each displays her 'toy boy'.

I understand there is a lot of 'swapping' that takes place when everybody gets high on 'hormone cocktails'.

And then, "everybody lives happily ever after...........".

Just wonder, how "WILD" your party will be !

Yay Yem

Dear Sir,

No No..this party is for a good cause!LOL

Everyone will be UNITED IN HOLY MATRIMONY!LOL

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Dear A M Sir,

Not all mAmis! Do you know why? I came to know about the murder (OMG!!!!) in the next road, only from the news

channels and NOT from any of the mAmis in our colony!

What news????? Here it is:

Kathiravan hacked to death

More up-to-date newshere
especially the last two paras

 

[tbs]

hi
here every body talk about girl and girl's mother....i like to say something abt girl's father... generally girl's father kept low profile and

girl's mother dominated in marriage discussion....if any thing he wants talk.....the maami will say immediately.....

உங்களுக்கு ஒன்னும் தெரியாது......சும்மா இருங்கோ .....நானும் பொன்னும் பார்த்துக்கறோம்....

வந்துட்டார் இந்த பிராமணன் நடுவிலே.....எங்காத்து மாமாவுக்கு ஒன்னும் தெரியாது....

நீங்க வந்து தார வார்த்து கொடுத்தா போதும்...

 

[Raji Ram]

We may add these lines too to TBS Sir's imagination:

'எங்க அப்பாதான் தெரியாத்தனமா உங்க குடும்பத்திலே என்னைத் தள்ளினா...

நானாவது நம்ம பொண்ணுக்கு நல்ல மாப்பிள்ளையைத் தேடிப் பிடிக்கறேன்!' :fish2:

 

[P.J.]

We may add these lines too to TBS Sir's imagination:

'எங்க அப்பாதான் தெரியாத்தனமா உங்க குடும்பத்திலே என்னைத் தள்ளினா...

நானாவது நம்ம பொண்ணுக்கு நல்ல மாப்பிள்ளையைத் தேடிப் பிடிக்கறேன்!' :fish2:

Raji Madam

உங்க குடும்பத்திலே KINATHULA THALLITUNGA"

 

[Anand Manohar]

Dear TBS

Your post # 66 Ha ha ha, that's really funny -- rings a bell with my post # 58
and Smt RR's post # 67 confirms it.

Mamas are it is supposed, know nothing except to drink the excellent filter coffee made
by Mamis and nod their heads to whatever Mamis say.

Now, Smt RR had a few dozen horoscopes a few months ago [ and those inevitable inch tapes ]
and going around town, match-making. I wonder how far she's gotten with these and more importantly
how Ram Garu feels !

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

 

[Naina_Marbus]

i like to saysomething abt girl's father... generally girl's father kept low profile and
girl's motherdominated in marriage discussion....if any thing he wants talk.....the
maami will sayimmediately..... உங்களுக்குஒன்னும்தெரியாது......சும்மாஇருங்கோ .....
நானும் பொன்னும் பார்த்துக்கறோம்....வந்துட்டார்இந்தபிராமணன்நடுவிலே.....
எங்காத்துமாமாவுக்குஒன்னும்தெரியாது....நீங்கவந்துதாரவார்த்துகொடுத்தாபோதும்...

We may add these lines too to TBS Sir's imagination:
'எங்க அப்பாதான் தெரியாத்தனமா உங்க குடும்பத்திலேஎன்னைத் தள்ளினா...
நானாவது நம்ம பொண்ணுக்கு நல்ல மாப்பிள்ளையைத்தேடிப் பிடிக்கறேன்!'

Maybe that “எங்காத்துமாமா” or “எங்கஅப்பா” is deliberately playing dumb so that in the eventuality of the alliance turning sour post-marriage, he would not have to face any accusations or listen to ‘music’ from any quarters?

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Naina Sir,
Have you ever thought why the parents have started requesting their sons / daughters to find their own match? :decision:

 

[Anand Manohar]

Smt RR

So what happened to your inch tapes ? Worn-out ? Probably the 'standard' 60" wala was not enough!
Therefore the need to go in for new "yard-sticks" !

Yay Yem

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Naina Sir,
Have you ever thought why the parents have started requesting their sons / daughters to find their own match? :decision:

very correct indeed you are, dear raji.

long long ago, my children told us that they would do their own hunting. we agreed. my oldest son is married now, to a very sensible mature minded and upbeat girl, who can manage my son and his idiosyncracies, that we ourselves could not have done any better. i think, the way, atleast folks in the west approach relationship is notable.

my son used to say, that at our urging, he used to go out with desi girls. atleast the ones that he met, no sooner at the end of the first meeting, the word 'marriage' cropped up. all of these were north indians, and looked like under pressure, inspite of highly successful careers, to find a mate. not sure if this was self imposed or from the parents.

after all, in india, with parental disapprovals looming, the kids' only tutor re love and marriage is the bollywood and kollywood movies. where the hero expresses the desire to marry the girl in the first few scenes, without even having a clue as to her likes, dislikes and neutrals.

a better approach, is to let knowledge of each other develop, as this, without any constraints of time or expectations, will grow for better, if there is compatibility and liking. very soon the nasty aspects of each one's behaviour and past and family history comes out. so, there are no surprises about each other, after a year.

it is only then, the couple starts seriously about if marriage is a viability.

compared to that, in these days, when the parents even hardly know their children, it did not seem right for mrs K or self, to volunteer to find mates for our children. putting our heads into a lion's mouth would have been a safer exercise, i feel

again, not saying, that the above process is divorce proof. nor is the arranged marriage route guarantee happiness. the route that any marriage takes, is a factor of many functions and how it performs is the result of the constant evolution that we call life. and many a times, a friendly mutual divorce may be a better alternative, to constant bickerings or 'put downs' or verbal slights.

let me not even go into the areas of abuse - physical or verbal or otherwise.

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Dear Naina Sir,
Have you ever thought why the parents have started requesting their sons / daughters to find their own match? :decision:

Of course! I couldn’t agree more with your thinking there!