Virginity Is Overrated

[renuka]

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Maybe people will follow the example of Bollywood. Hema Malini, Sridevi, Vidya Balan, Kareena Kapoor have all preferred to marry men already experienced in marriage.

Nowadays, even if it is not marriage experience, girls may prefer men with another kind of experience. The inexperienced are termed as losers.

Its becos all these men they married came with good looks,status and money.

Its not about they having experience or not.

If an equally experienced guy with no looks,status or money approached any one of them..they would not have bothered to give him a second look.

BTW when people fall in love with someone..they do not fall in love only with the body..they are connected beyond the body so any past sexual experience of husband or wife would not really matter.

Many female divorcees too are remarrying men who were not married before..the men love their wives even though she has been married before or even has children.

He is not getting worked up that some other guy was there first in her life.

Similarly many unmarried virgin females too have married divorced men..they love their husbands and do not really bother that there was another female in his life before.

So frankly speaking past sexual acts only matter if a person only loves the body of his/her potential spouse and that in my opinion is rather superficial.

 

[yesmohan]

Similarly many unmarried virgin females too have married divorced men..they love their husbands and do not really bother that there was another female in his life before.

It happens mostly because of poor financial status of parents of the girls or some other causes..."considerations".

 

[renuka]

It happens mostly because of poor financial status of parents of the girls or some other causes..."considerations".

People do fall in love or have values for others and do not view others as second hand.

 

[CHANDRU1849]

BTW is quite hard for anyone to know if a female is a virgin or not..presence or absence of the expected hemorraghe when a certain appendage is torn is not 100% indicative of the status of virginity.


I remember once I had a patient who was not a virgin and was getting married to another guy..she was scared if her husband would find out..so I gave her tips..I told her its actually hard for any male to prove if a girl is a virgin or not..cos the dimensions of the female organ does not change much when there has been no childbirth and a period of abstinence makes the organ back to its previous form..its simple logic..what we do not use shrinks in size.(everyone take note!)

Then I told her to also do Kegel's exercise to give herself a good tone and during the first night to contract the organ maximum so that no intercourse would be possible.

Then drag this on for at least 2 days and fake some pain too and your husband will be 100% convinced that he got a virgin!LOL

The girl took my advice and is a happy mother of 2 today.

So you see..its all simple tricks..one just needs to do Kegels contraction while having intercourse to create an impossible to conquer atmosphere for the male.

It is debatable whether such an advice is morally correct or not. However, the days are not far off when investigative mechanism in the medical field may even disclose number of times and number of persons a male or female had sex before marriage.

If such situation comes, your above advice may become futile.

 

[renuka]

It is debatable whether such an advice is morally correct or not. However, the days are not far off when investigative mechanism in the medical field may even disclose number of times and number of persons a male or female had sex before marriage.

If such situation comes, your above advice may become futile.

Agreed...my advice might not be "morally correct' but it gives a chance for a person to have a happy married life.

When I was in India I remember reading about a case a doctor wrote in a magazine.

This doc was an Obs and Gyn specialist and she was working in some semi rural side of India and one night a family brought their newly wed daughter in law to the doctor saying that the bride's body seemed very undeveloped in some regions(the husband complained) and he wanted to doctor to confirm if the bride was actually a female or an eunuch.

So the doctor checked the girl and confirmed that she is a female and then the doc said that during examination she found out that the girl was not a virgin and the girl confessed having sex before marriage with another male.

Ok what the doc next is despicable cos her work was only to verify the gender of the bride and NOT check to see if she was a virgin.

But the doctor told the inlaws and husband that the bride was not a virgin.

Right away the bride was beaten up and sent back to her parents home and the doctor ended her article saying that the bride deserved being sent back cos she is a bad character girl for having premarital sex.

You see the doctor ruined the life of a new bride.Why did she judge the patient?

As a professional when a person confesses something to us we are not supposed to even say it to family or spouse if the matter is not about a communicable disease.

So as you say my advise may be futile but as long I do not break up anyone's marriage I feel I am doing my work right.

I once also had a case where a newly wed came for an ultrasound after 2 months of marriage and the fetus was actually 4 months!

I then asked her if the baby was her husbands and she said no.

She begged me not to tell her husband..I told her its not my job to disclose such facts to a husband and my job is only to treat a patient.

So I never told the husband becos if I had told the husband..he would have divorced her..then as an unwed divorcee the risk of suicide or abandoning the child after birth would be high.

If this secret remained unknown the well being of the mother and baby would be at least safe for sometime.

So till the child was born safely it is better that no one knew this truth.

This is how I look at things..at the whole picture.

 

[a-TB]

Agreed...my advice might not be "morally correct' but it gives a chance for a person to have a happy married life.

When I was in India I remember reading about a case a doctor wrote in a magazine.

This doc was an Obs and Gyn specialist and she was working in some semi rural side of India and one night a family brought their newly wed daughter in law to the doctor saying that the bride's body seemed very undeveloped in some regions(the husband complained) and he wanted to doctor to confirm if the bride was actually a female or an eunuch.

So the doctor checked the girl and confirmed that she is a female and then the doc said that during examination she found out that the girl was not a virgin and the girl confessed having sex before marriage with another male.

Ok what the doc next is despicable cos her work was only to verify the gender of the bride and NOT check to see if she was a virgin.

But the doctor told the inlaws and husband that the bride was not a virgin.

Right away the bride was beaten up and sent back to her parents home and the doctor ended her article saying that the bride deserved being sent back cos she is a bad character girl for having premarital sex.

You see the doctor ruined the life of a new bride.Why did she judge the patient?

As a professional when a person confesses something to us we are not supposed to even say it to family or spouse if the matter is not about a communicable disease.

So as you say my advise may be futile but as long I do not break up anyone's marriage I feel I am doing my work right.

I once also had a case where a newly wed came for an ultrasound after 2 months of marriage and the fetus was actually 4 months!

I then asked her if the baby was her husbands and she said no.

She begged me not to tell her husband..I told her its not my job to disclose such facts to a husband and my job is only to treat a patient.

So I never told the husband becos if I had told the husband..he would have divorced her..then as an unwed divorcee the risk of suicide or abandoning the child after birth would be high.

If this secret remained unknown the well being of the mother and baby would be at least safe for sometime.

So till the child was born safely it is better that no one knew this truth.

This is how I look at things..at the whole picture.

Dear Madam Renuka:
I applaud you for being thoughtful, kind and considerate in dealing with this case.
Nothing would have come out of husband knowing - it will be pain all the way around.

I have a different question - is this thread being discussed by only virgins during their marriage?
How many have had multiple partners to declare that virginity was not a big deal in their personal life LoL

 

[krish44]

HaHaHa

Only a TB would talk of declaration regarding virginity.

what is expected - shouting from roof tops that one is not a virgin or virginity is not a big deal .

some might want attestation from gazetted officer or judicial magistrate on virginity declaration affidavit

 

[CHANDRU1849]

I once also had a case where a newly wed came for an ultrasound after 2 months of marriage and the fetus was actually 4 months!

I then asked her if the baby was her husbands and she said no.

She begged me not to tell her husband..I told her its not my job to disclose such facts to a husband and my job is only to treat a patient.

So I never told the husband becos if I had told the husband..he would have divorced her..then as an unwed divorcee the risk of suicide or abandoning the child after birth would be high.

If this secret remained unknown the well being of the mother and baby would be at least safe for sometime.

So till the child was born safely it is better that no one knew this truth.

This is how I look at things..at the whole picture.

Did the husband not doubt it, as the child would have born seven months after marriage?

In any case, at some point of time the girl will face the tune, if there exists a doubt in the child birth.

 

[sangom]

If this thread continues in the same pattern, all readers will be forced to agree that virginity is not a word even, in the English Dictionary.

I know a few cases of tabra girls who might have had their first child on account of their pre-marital connections. But all of them lived normal lives as pucca tabra housewives and some of them are no more now, also! Therefore, virginity was never overarted in Tabra circles at least, I think.

 

[renuka]

Did the husband not doubt it, as the child would have born seven months after marriage?

In any case, at some point of time the girl will face the tune, if there exists a doubt in the child birth.

I dont know about that..if he doubts anything he can request a paternity test.

Anyway in such cases its not wise to hope anyone will face the tune cos we do not know Karma.

So the best we can do is think of the well being of mother and child and family.

 

[renuka]

I have a different question - is this thread being discussed by only virgins during their marriage?
How many have had multiple partners to declare that virginity was not a big deal in their personal life LoL

Most of us members here are married and I do not have much idea of anyone's premarital virginity status and I don't wish to find out too!LOL

 

[yesmohan]

Yes.
Ifs............ and............ buts... ............ in this case.........in that case......'in any case......
arguments only

 

[Vaagmi]

Agreed...my advice might not be "morally correct' but it gives a chance for a person to have a happy married life.

When I was in India I remember reading about a case a doctor wrote in a magazine.

This doc was an Obs and Gyn specialist and she was working in some semi rural side of India and one night a family brought their newly wed daughter in law to the doctor saying that the bride's body seemed very undeveloped in some regions(the husband complained) and he wanted to doctor to confirm if the bride was actually a female or an eunuch.

So the doctor checked the girl and confirmed that she is a female and then the doc said that during examination she found out that the girl was not a virgin and the girl confessed having sex before marriage with another male.

Ok what the doc next is despicable cos her work was only to verify the gender of the bride and NOT check to see if she was a virgin.

But the doctor told the inlaws and husband that the bride was not a virgin.

Right away the bride was beaten up and sent back to her parents home and the doctor ended her article saying that the bride deserved being sent back cos she is a bad character girl for having premarital sex.

You see the doctor ruined the life of a new bride.Why did she judge the patient?

As a professional when a person confesses something to us we are not supposed to even say it to family or spouse if the matter is not about a communicable disease.

So as you say my advise may be futile but as long I do not break up anyone's marriage I feel I am doing my work right.

I once also had a case where a newly wed came for an ultrasound after 2 months of marriage and the fetus was actually 4 months!

I then asked her if the baby was her husbands and she said no.

She begged me not to tell her husband..I told her its not my job to disclose such facts to a husband and my job is only to treat a patient.

So I never told the husband becos if I had told the husband..he would have divorced her..then as an unwed divorcee the risk of suicide or abandoning the child after birth would be high.

If this secret remained unknown the well being of the mother and baby would be at least safe for sometime.

So till the child was born safely it is better that no one knew this truth.

This is how I look at things..at the whole picture.

So I said அந்தரங்கம் புனிதமானது.

 

[yesmohan]

All should speak truth to the doctors and lawyers.
But the lawyer , to be successful in his profession seldom speaks truth; the doctor at times have to be a liar.

 

[biswa]

So frankly speaking past sexual acts only matter if a person only loves the body of his/her potential spouse and that in my opinion is rather superficial.

But that is just your opinion. There is no evidence that that opinion is shared by the majority of the population. Please look at some matrimonial ads, internet marriage profiles or even the current dating scene. It becomes difficult to score a mate if one is physically unattractive.

 

[renuka]

But that is just your opinion. There is no evidence that that opinion is shared by the majority of the population. Please look at some matrimonial ads, internet marriage profiles or even the current dating scene. It becomes difficult to score a mate if one is physically unattractive.

Yes..it is my opinion and I have stated that too and it goes without saying that others need not share the same.

About looks..I see average Joes and even plain Janes getting married and even in the past this has happened.

Not everyone is a Hritik Roshan or a Deepika Padukone yet they get married.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

From my personal observation..average Joes and plain Janes usually have a very stable married life.

So to a great extent even good looks could be actually over rated.

 

[tbs]

hi

i think this topic and this thread will reach long period....lol

 

[biswa]

Yes..it is my opinion and I have stated that too and it goes without saying that others need not share the same.

About looks..I see average Joes and even plain Janes getting married and even in the past this has happened.

Not everyone is a Hritik Roshan or a Deepika Padukone yet they get married.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

From my personal observation..average Joes and plain Janes usually have a very stable married life.

So to a great extent even good looks could be actually over rated.

Of course most people eventually get married. But that does not mean everybody is in equal demand.

In fact some people have a tough time getting married, often because of their looks. Have you not seen that happen?

How many people will turn down Hrithik Roshan or Deepika Padukone, if they get an offer from them?

 

[renuka]

Of course most people eventually get married. But that does not mean everybody is in equal demand.

In fact some people have a tough time getting married, often because of their looks. Have you not seen that happen?

How many people will turn down Hrithik Roshan or Deepika Padukone, if they get an offer from them?

People want to be married..I dont think anyone is worried about being in demand.

Those who know that life is not about being the most sought after just pay attention to marry a person who would make a good potential spouse.

BTW to marry Hritik Roshan...one has to be extremely beautiful and equally loaded to match his looks and status.

He is too much of a looker for an average plain Jane to want to marry him...but whatever said and done his marriage failed becos his wife opted out..so there you go..someone did turn him down.
The rumour is that his wife was in a relationship with Arjun Rampal and Arjun's marriage too is on the rocks.

So being turned down is not entirely becos of looks otherwise no drop dead good looking actor/actress would be divorced.

Dr Hasnat Khan broke off with Princess Diana eventually cos he could not handle the media attention he was getting for being in a relationship with her.

So it was not about her looks..he did love her but he could not manage the situation.

In the quest for marriage one can get turned down for various reasons..looks,skin color,too tall or too short..too educated or less educated,family background,character,having unmarried sisters,virginity status etc..its a complex issue.


Now on the contrary some average looks Joe with enough wealth and connection would surely dare marry Deepika.

Average men looking rich males are known to marry beautiful women.


You see for example...looks wise Abhishek Bachan is not handsome but he is rich and well connected so having Aishwarya as his wife is still acceptable.

 

[krish44]

Getting married IMHO is the easiest thing in the world.

Only one should know how to go about it.

Looks,education,family status and many other things can mean very little if a person works hard enough to show sincerity and pay careful attention to the prospective

spouse to make him/her accept the match.

Thats why one often find plain girls or not well educated or earning men getting excellent matches.

I am a firm believer that this types of attentive entities are in maximum demand by boys and girls

 

[biswa]

The only reason people "loved" Diana was for her looks. She was a well known airhead. Even though Charles had an existing lover, he definitely did not mind bedding a "virgin" Diana. Only later the problems arose.

Of course Diana married Charles not for his looks or for his jug handled ears, but merely because he might be king one day.

There is really no opportunity for "true love" anywhere.

 

[sarang]

It was a sort of arranged marriage!

The only reason people "loved" Diana was for her looks. She was a well known airhead. Even though Charles had an existing lover, he definitely did not mind bedding a "virgin" Diana. Only later the problems arose.

Of course Diana married Charles not for his looks or for his jug handled ears, but merely because he might be king one day.

There is really no opportunity for "true love" anywhere.

 

[renuka]

It was a sort of arranged marriage!

Yes..it was an arranged marriage.

 

[renuka]

The only reason people "loved" Diana was for her looks. She was a well known airhead.

When was intelligence ever a criteria to be lovable?

A loving nature has nothing to do with either looks or intelligence or both.

BTW everyone wants their Princess to be beautiful and kind hearted like Disney Princesses.

Just like a Prince is always expected to be handsome.

Even in Puranas each royal is described as being so good looking.

So its already in our mindset that Prince and Princesses have to be lookers.

Its not wrong for people to have loved her becos of her looks.

She was indeed very beautiful.

 

[yesmohan]

A person who rolls over wealth, would, often, choose the matting partner, more sooner than he/ she could change over the dress;
for a person, who could not even afford for a square meal a day, even having a spouse for matting is a luxury: