women domination

[C RAVI]

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Dear bala,

I see a level of ignorance in these girls. what happened to the adage, of ‘buillding’ a home together out of a house. Is there not a thrill, in getting an empty house, and filling it over time with memories.

If all the reqd items are got on day one, what is left for the rest of the married life?

Also what I find, is that the girls do not look upon ‘total household income’ concept. Let us say that in today’s Chennai, a monthly income net of 50k is good for a great living, why don’t someone drill into the girls’ heads, that between her and hubby, the net should be 50. instead I only see in ads, blind statement like 60 or 70k when she herself is earning 45 k. there simply are no boys even with good career prospects to earn such salaries.

I think today’s girls would do good, to lower the salary expectations of their hubbies, and instead look to joint income concept as a feasible benchmark for good life. Together.

Shri Kunjuppu,

What you have stated above about a home sweet home with joint income concept, with wife earning more than that of husband is nothing but day dreaming, IMO.

I remember few members here, long ago, who all stated that girls would obviously look for upward mobility and would require her future hubby to be more accomplished and earning more than what the girl has accomplished and earning. What they said is what the ground reality outside this virtual world. We know this reality off course and getting the expectations of the girls clearly in this forum itself with all their assertion and support of their views from other members.

I am seriously looking alliance for my elder brother as I could spare some available time some how out of my hectic work load, inside & outside home, during my long vacation in Chennai.

My bro is completing 38 years by next March 20 and I am looking out prospective brides between 30 and 38 years. 99 percent of these girls are earning between 50 & 70K per month and want their future hubby to earn atleast 10K more than their earning. And that they need the guy to be older than them by 2 to 3 years only. The rest left over are those who are outside TN (within India) and looking for guys working & residing in their city only.

More than this they highight, in common - "Horoscope Match Must", "Guys belonging to any other Gothram except mine", "Higher education of the guys must be from reputed institution", etc..etc..

These are the girls between the age group of 30 and 37 years. Dunno how long are they prepared to stay single, expecting to satisfy their check list. I used to wonder, if these girls are truly happy, living without fulfilling what humans want OR if they are some how fulfilling in some ways, what they want, that would allow them to wait any long and fish out the right fish to be their life partner who can add pride to them.


Fortunately there are few from middle class families who are either working or not working and have reasonable and sensible expectations and are those living in southern districts of TN, outside the great Singaara Chennai and other metropolitan/cosmopolitan cities.

 

[kunjuppu]

dear ravi,

best wishes re search of bride for your brother.

incidentally, dont forget yourself. too.

God Bless.

 

[guruvayurappan]

Dear Sir,

Already in many houses it is Madurai Atchi only!!

Note: In my house it is 'Chidhambaram'.

Regards.........

maduraio chidambaramo vietnamveedu mathri vendam. swargaboomi yaka all should live happily.
we should remember kannadasan song kadalil yar thothalum eruvarukkum vettri.If your family to prosper nothing wrong in listening to spouse or vice versa
all the best
guruvayurappan

 

[guruvayurappan]

dearKunjupu !
the need of the hour is your quote" I think today’s girls would do good, to lower the salary expectations of their hubbies, and instead look to joint income concept as a feasible benchmark for good life. Together. "
so many eligible boys in our (not only Brahmins )society are not getting alliance (leave alone suitable )and they are searching their partner even after 35 yrs.the boys are ready to marry girls without employment ,but the girls demaning a salary of >than 50K. again this discussion will lead to other point to be discused
with best wishes ,
guruvayuarappan

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear sri ravi !
i could understand your feeling since i also experienced a lot while searching alliance for my two sons .they got married(at age of 28 yrs ) and settled. i was put into lot of mental agony even though they are earning > 7lak/annum(indian salary ) apart from their on site income. the girls parent are with a big check list.if this is case with boys working in MNC,think of boys working in private banks and company.
the very purpose of marriage is lost as you said and it reminds me a tamil song pasum balai sunda sunda kachalama(should not boil the milk beyond a limit )

 

[sangom]

Folks,

tabra girls today, by and large, look at marriage as yet another possession for themselves, a reward for their beauty and accomplishments. Kunjuppu's concept of "look to joint income concept as a feasible benchmark for good life. Together." is, imho, farthest from their agenda. The unwritten rule today is that the hubby runs the entire show with his money but the wife keeps her income for herself, her parents, and, if forced by circumstances, for her children-that of course, because the useless husband is கையாலகாதவன்!

Given this scenario (I know this to be true in many cases) it is a pipe dream to talk of joint income, building a home out of a house, etc. If I may not be found fault with being a bit off colour, what my old tabra colleague used to say will best illustrate the point very clearly. He used to say "இன்னய்க்கு பொண்களோடு த்ரிசூலத்துக்கு அவ்வளவு மாஹாத்ம்யம்." More than this from his irreverent statements, is likely to invite editing out of my post.

Boys have to realize this and take a decision and the tabra parents of boys should, as their duty, make their boys understand that unless they equip themselves like the princes of yore and win the svayamvaram conditions, their chance for finding a life partner is bleak.

While I wish Shri Ravi all success in finding a suitable match for his elder brother from the southern distrcits, I may tell that unless a boy is ready to reduce his expectations to "something female looking, no other requirements", it is unlikely that he will find girls in Tili, KK districts, who have not learned the lessons of Singaaracchennai. Very recently one such marriage took place for a boy who was brought up as an ammanji by his orthodox parents, at his age of 31 after about 3 or 4 years of very hectic search.

The alternative for the boys is to remain unmarried. Here again, I may say, that girls have remained unmarried for life even in olden days (my bosses, my colleagues, etc.) for various reasons and it is the male of the species who seems to be in a great hurry to fulfil nature's design on him. Today's girls in general - across castes, religions, etc., - well understand this too, and hence their upper hand in this game of life.

 

[Raji Ram]

i think many prominent carnatic lady singers' hubbies were happy kooja thookkies..........

A very famous carnatic singer's son is a mridhangam vidhvAn. His wife, daughter and grand daughter are also carnatic stars!

So he is the family guardian! A few classical dancers have their better halves as either dancers or vocal aritists! :thumb:

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Smt MS said she owes all her glory and popularity to her husband who encouraged her in her pursuit. To the world maybe he was KT. He had his own reputation but sacrificed for MS. Perhaps what we are talking about - women's liberation, equality,etc - was practised then in subtle manner. It could be the case with every artistes. I do not know what Kunjuppu would call the accompanists of female vocalists!ஒத்துஊதறாங்க, ஜால்ரா போடறாங்க, (second) பிடில் வாசிக்கிறாங்க.... இப்படி.

 

[biswa]

Ms. RR, I do agree with your point. But let me play devil's advocate for a bit.

Let us imagine that you enter a vegetable market to buy, oh I don't know, let us say potatoes. Now you are not going to buy from the first seller who calls you, will you?

You are going to assess the potatoes by their looks, color, perhaps pick one up and twirl it around. Then you may ask the seller how much it costs. The seller will try his best to impress you. May say this comes from Himachal Pradesh. Not only does it look good, it will taste good as well.

Now let's get back to the marriage market. Everyone has a bunch of options, except perhaps the products that have been sitting on the shelf for too long. People want the best deal: the best product for the cheapest price. If they don't find what they are looking for, they will downgrade their expectations and negotiate.

What is wrong with all that? Don't we all want to score a bargain? It is a meat market after all....

This thread is getting hot again...

Many boys employed in non IT fields lament that they are unable to find partners. Since they earn between 30 to 40 K p.m,

girls reject them outright. Business guys have a different problem. Two brothers have a family business of plywood trade in

Kerala. First son got married to a CA girl and she helps in their office. When they went in search of a bride for the second son,

the parents of many girls demanded partition of the property before the wedding! After nearly 3 years, they could find a

tam.brah girl from somewhere in the north.

Now a days, even if the girl wishes to stay at home as a non working lady (may be at home too!) she wants her better half to

earn more than at least half a lakh p.m. Sometimes it is disgusting. Credit card is the culprit, I think. In our generation, taking

loans used to be rare. People knew how to live within their earnings. But now even before a person joins work, emails and

SMSs rush from all companies to buy their products - flat, car, fridge, A.C, microwave oven, washing machine and as the like,

on monthly installments. So more than the amount earned is spent! வரவு எட்டணா; செலவு பத்தணா!!

opcorn:

 

[Raji Ram]

..........What is wrong with all that? Don't we all want to score a bargain? It is a meat market after all....

What a definition!! O M G ... :faint:

 

[biswa]

What a definition!! O M G ... :faint:

Sorry Ms. RR. Didn't want to affect your sensibilities. Thankfully the meat market has now gone online at bharatmatrimony.com so that we don't have to see all the gore.

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

These days we talk and hear about women empowerment in India. There are many
NGO Organisations. It all reflects on their active and dedicated participation in spiritual,
social, political or economic strength of their homes besides their role as Pilots,
Doctors (in Armed Forces), etc. We have Air-hostesses traveling abroad in various flights
conversing in different languages. Owing to rich education available these days, they have
the decision making power of their own, access to information and resources for taking
appropriate decisions, positive thinking with their skills to make changes wherever
necessary, ability to have assertiveness in collective and firm decision making, ability
and capacity to learn skills (which was beyond their reach some decades before) for
enhancing either their personal or group power, ability and capacity to change others
perceptions/outlook in an unbiased democratic principles, enhance their own positive
self image and throwing out the stigma, etc. We can jot down many points on these
lines. Hence, we cannot decipher just like that there is a domination. They have a wider
and broader area in their arena which give them the opportunity or outlet to make themselves
self equipped to face any consequence or confrontation with minimal support from other side.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur