A thought on Respect and Civility

This post is the result of a few things on this forum and outside this forum.

The primary aim of this forum is to provide a platform wherein one can have a talk (debate) on various topics under the sun in a civil manner whereby one respects the views of others - however and whatever it might be.
At the same time we are not here to talk bad about other communities, religions or individuals however one views them to be.
This is not the place for that.

Having a vigorous debate does not mean you can start calling other members, individuals or communities by name.
The primary requisite of any debate is that one shows respect towards the views of others and counters them in a decent way. And most def in a civil way.

There are three ways to maintain this decorum.
1. Ensure that you always maintain a cool and show respect to others, however argumentative or heated the debate might be.
2. Stay away from discussions where you cannot hold your emotions.
3. Do not encourage such posts by posting your views or try to counter them. We all know very well when someone is playing the fool. Ignore them and they will keep quiet after a while. By actively countering such posts/members, you are only giving them fodder for more stupidity on their part.

If you think and if you believe you are here on a crusade to uphold some belief that you hold dear and in that crusade if you cannot show restraint in your views and show tolerance towards other members, communities and religions, please leave the site.

should you choose to leave, I am very grateful for your participation in the time you have been here, but a line has to be drawn where you start respecting the guidelines of this website and also start respecting other members of this forum.

For those who caste a doubt on this site, this site has always and will always be a Brahmin forum. However that does not mean topics not related to site will be removed or moderated. And most importantly there will not be any censor of topics that question a few fundamental things. Only when we understand our history and past, we can move forward.
And that sums up another aim of this forum - A repository of information and a vast knowledgebase.

Thank you for providing us this forum. I for one is very thankful, it has provided me with with valuable information.

Respected Sir,

Honestly differences between people will always exist. My policy is to note down offensive comments and tackle them on the open, just politely ask the members an explanation for what they said at the 'correct opportunity'. Recently I was asked to report on someone, to report against someone is my last choice, I would not do that unless I have lots of grievances and in this case, I didn't have any major grievance. Nevertheless to comply with the request, I had to report. I would urge members that reporting always enhances our differences, whereas we want to co-operate with each other more. So I request members to keep this as the last resort.

Thank you,

JR

JR said:

Recently I was asked to report on someone, to report against someone is my last choice, I would not do that unless I have lots of grievances and in this case, I didn't have any major grievance. Nevertheless to comply with the request, I had to report.

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Thank you for bringing this out in the open.

It seems that there is some sort of "grapevine gang" grouped based on the replies and patbacks mutually given and taken, and who take the pm option to weild some sort of "majoritarianism" attitude. There are more groups that I have noticed but not touching upon since it is not worthwhile. While, groups are but natural, and it is their prerogative, it seems childish and immature given that it is an open and anonymous forum. More so when the gang rile upon an individual for some perceived stand.

I would also urge members not to give in to such gang requests but to use rationale.

Thank you.

Right. Brahmins are known for choice of words and they have a style of saying 'no' romantically. Yet words are not transparent or unchanging; they vary in colour and content according to times they are received or read. Yet the finesse should be discernible. One of the distinct qualities of a Brahmin is his language. Those who have problems in this should read and reread the story of Hanuman

hi

we may not like many threads....just ignore them.....no need to give all comments for all threads....its my opinion....i read

all the threads....but i reply very limited....

The best is to have fun and not take anything too seriously.

After all how long do we live for?

Dont keep anything at heart and just learn to co -exists and start a new chapter daily.

Someone who does not think like me need not be my "enemy"..he/she can be my "opposite" friend.

In fact its nice to have a friend who is our polar opposite. Imagine if everyone in the world thought alike..it would be so boring.

So just have fun and be happy.

From time to time there is bound to be garam masala and action scenes..it is all part of the Movie called TB forum.

renuka said:

The best is to have fun and not take anything too seriously.

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It is easy to do this when one does not value anything.

People who cherish something can, will, and does take some things seriously.

Even this thread is a result of the owner taking the issue of civility seriously.

To develop the social status of Tamil Brahmins

Tamil Brahmins are treated very badly in TamilNadu in terms of Education,Job opportunities and also the social respect given. I think this is because we do not unite and help each other

கால பைரவன்;280299 said:

It is easy to do this when one does not value anything.

People who cherish something can, will, and does take some things seriously.

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What is the Value of Zero if there is no One?

What is the value of One if there is no Zero?

Even Hero today might be Zero tomorrow.

Value for today..de-valued for tomorrow.

What is there to cherish when there is no guarantee for even a tomorrow?

Just live for the day and be happy for we may never see tomorrow.

If members remember that there are limits to freedom of expression and do not hurt any religious faiths, beliefs, Gods, Groups within various section of the Society, it will go a long way in reducing heated exchanges among members.

Dear Praveen
Thanks for establishing and running this forum.
It is a privilege to be a member and with all privileges comes responsibility to be thoughtful as to how we communicate.
With respect and civility it is possible to have interesting and vigorous debates.
Regards

JR said:

Respected Sir,

Honestly differences between people will always exist. My policy is to note down offensive comments and tackle them on the open, just politely ask the members an explanation for what they said at the 'correct opportunity'. Recently I was asked to report on someone, to report against someone is my last choice, I would not do that unless I have lots of grievances and in this case, I didn't have any major grievance. Nevertheless to comply with the request, I had to report. I would urge members that reporting always enhances our differences, whereas we want to co-operate with each other more. So I request members to keep this as the last resort.

Thank you,

JR

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I commend you on resolving differences on your own, because reporting is a little school girlish, don't you think? That too after creating a gang. Surely adults should have the power to stand up and think and act for themselves.

I have never reported someone simply because I think Praveen's time is too valuable to intervene in petty forum tiffs.

P.J. said:

If members remember that there are limits to freedom of expression and do not hurt any religious faiths, beliefs, Gods, Groups within various section of the Society, it will go a long way in reducing heated exchanges among members.

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Je ne suis pas Charlie?

biswa said:

I commend you on resolving differences on your own, because reporting is a little school girlish, don't you think? That too after creating a gang. Surely adults should have the power to stand up and think and act for themselves.

I have never reported someone simply because I think Praveen's time is too valuable to intervene in petty forum tiffs.

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I am not commenting on why I reported this time (because I already stated why).

Nevertheless, it is not upto individual forum members to decide whether others have the right to report or not... each individual has the right to report in a democratic forum as this, and the moderator decides whether the reported message is justified or not. To some of us, our values especially on religion is high and nobody likes their beloved deity/belief system to be ridiculed by others constantly. I am also aware of Shri Praveen's time constraints and I wouldn't bother him unnecessarily.

P.J. said:

If members remember that there are limits to freedom of expression and do not hurt any religious faiths, beliefs, Gods, Groups within various section of the Society, it will go a long way in reducing heated exchanges among members.

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Dear PJ sir,

Its works both ways.

Rights and responsibilities go hand in hand...Freedom of expression would also mean some restrictions so that others sensitivities are not trampled

renuka said:

Dear PJ sir,

Its works both ways.

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I do not understand this!!

If members remember that there are limits to freedom of expression and do not hurt any religious faiths, beliefs, Gods, Groups within various section of the Society, it will go a long way in reducing heated exchanges among members.

How it works in Two ways i am not able to understand!

P.J. said:

I do not understand this!!

If members remember that there are limits to freedom of expression and do not hurt any religious faiths, beliefs, Gods, Groups within various section of the Society, it will go a long way in reducing heated exchanges among members.

How it works in Two ways i am not able to understand!

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Ok let me explain.

There are limits to freedom of expression and we should not hurt non-religious faiths,non religious beliefs,Non Gods,Atypical/variant groups within various sections of the Society,it will go a real long long way in reducing the spine chilling exchange of toxic doses of words among members.

This is how things work 2 ways.

renuka said:

Ok let me explain.

There are limits to freedom of expression and we should not hurt non-religious faiths,non religious beliefs,Non Gods,Atypical/variant groups within various sections of the Society,it will go a real long long way in reducing the spine chilling exchange of toxic doses of words among members.



This is how things work 2 ways.

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Still you have misunderstood my point

I leave with this.

P.J. said:

Still you have misunderstood my point

I leave with this.

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Dear PJ sir,

You assume I misunderstood you without you understanding me.

I have not missed your point even though you seem to point that I missed it.

The point is that I have understood your post and made an attempt to make you understand my point but sadly I am unable to pin point why there seems to be a failure in understanding from your point of view.

I agree that it might be pointless to try to point out why you did not understand or why you misunderstood my point.

So I hope now you clearly understand that I made my point.

well said

JR said:

I am not commenting on why I reported this time (because I already stated why).

Nevertheless, it is not upto individual forum members to decide whether others have the right to report or not... each individual has the right to report in a democratic forum as this, and the moderator decides whether the reported message is justified or not. To some of us, our values especially on religion is high and nobody likes their beloved deity/belief system to be ridiculed by others constantly. I am also aware of Shri Praveen's time constraints and I wouldn't bother him unnecessarily.

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Of course everybody has a right to report, since the moderator allows. But I still think it is a bit childish. Particularly if one needs to be goaded by another. Am I allowed to have that opinion or not?

Of course again everybody can cherish their religion, but when they say a particular epic belongs to their own sect only or another says if people worship different gods at different types of day they are false gods or one god is inferior to another, are they not trampling on the religious rights of others?

Renukaji is right is saying it goes both ways. Nobody can clap with just one hand.

biswa said:

Of course everybody has a right to report, since the moderator allows. But I still think it is a bit childish. Particularly if one needs to be goaded by another. Am I allowed to have that opinion or not?

Of course again everybody can cherish their religion, but when they say a particular epic belongs to their own sect only or another says if people worship different gods at different types of day they are false gods or one god is inferior to another, are they not trampling on the religious rights of others?

Renukaji is right is saying it goes both ways. Nobody can clap with just one hand.

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Mahabharata and Ramayana are indeed considered 'Vaishnava' works. Even if it is not, still Vyasa muni has not represented Pandavas as Pimps or Whimps anywhere.

Nevertheless, above is just part of the entire package. There were other provocations at Vaishnavas too, which I believe you are aware of and sadly, you choose to keep quiet at those because you cannot answer them obviously (and your 'friendship' is more important to you over 'justice')!

Please do not drag me further into this conversation. I've already finished my part, whether you like it or not.

Another explanation before I wind up:

another says if people worship different gods at different types of day they are false gods or one god is inferior to another, are they not trampling on the religious rights of others?

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For one, I did not say the above. There is another member in this forum who constantly belittles Vaishnavism needlessly. He ridiculed us worshiping our Avataras when there was discussion on Monotheism and the person (quoted above) who replied retaliated just for that unsolicited comment. If you or anyone have problems with that, please take it up to these individuals or the moderator on that and do not combine that with what I have stated.

Also, this quote is from Wikipedia, which states Ramayana, Mahabharata and Bhagavata Purana to be the most influential philosophical works on Vaishnava beliefs. This shows how important Mahabharata is, and its heroes, the Pandavas, are to Vaishnavas:

Two great Indianepics, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, form an important part of Vaishnava philosophy, theology, and culture.The Ramayana describes the story of Rama, an avatara of Vishnu, and is taken as a history of the 'ideal king', based on the principles of dharma, morality and ethics. Rama's wife Sita, his brother Lakshman, with his devotee and follower Hanuman all play key roles within the Vaishnava tradition as examples of Vaishnava etiquette and behaviour.Ravana, the evil king and villain of the epic, plays the opposite role of how not to behave.
The Mahabharata is centered around Krishna and details the story of a dynastic war between two families of cousins, with Krishna and the Pandavas, five brothers, playing pivotal roles in the drama. The philosophical highlight of the work is the chapter covering a conversation between Arjuna and Krishna prior to the final battle, individually known as the Bhagavad Gita. The Bhagavad Gita, though influential in most philosophies of Hinduism, is of particular importance to Vaishnavas because it is believed to be an accurate record of the very words spoken by Krishna himself. Both works are often re-enacted in part as dramas by followers of Vaishnavism, especially on festival days concerning each of the specific avatars. The Bhagavad Gita is widely studied as a theological textbook and is rendered in numerous English translations and world languages.

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