A Brahmin's Voice

[sarang]

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Parents too have a right to behave in a particular way if the path chosen by their don or daughter is not acceptable to them; it is emotional blackmail to blame the parents if they withdraw and let go the love-torn-lost kids. They who accept are not necessarily angels and they who cut off social contacts are not necessarily devils.

If the near relatives also avoid contacts with the wayward young couple, they will do it for their own reasons - solidarity with the injured parents, do not want a similar thing happening to their children etc.

Nehru and gandhi changed the name and religion of feroz, indira's husband, and the wedding was consecrated as per hindu traditions, because - ...; each one can fill the blanks.

Ostracization from the whole tambram community will never happen; that is another story. There are brahmins here and elsewhere who main occupation is to dig holes from inside.

What is wrong in my reply? please elucidate... thanks.

Is love such a crime that you term a girl who loves as guilty? This gives an insight into your (and the likes such as yours) mindset. By all means feel free to defend your caste but nothing comes above children's happiness. Dont think of children as your symbol of caste pride and honour but treat them as human beings capable of independent thinking with the right to exercise their free will.

If caring for a human being is a vested interest, then yes, I have a vested interest.

I am only egging on our good-natured side to take the other hand...

Regards,

 

[sarang]

In the old days and in tv serials today, the mother or father can force the offspring to take an oath in front of the ishtadevata image; today's youth will not hesitate to make the pledge and do what they want even when it is wrong.

If economic freedom and social licencing are the catalysts for IR marriages, a day will come when these factors are irrelevant and core values of jati and kula get priority.

Now ladaki buddhist leaders have written to PM that that their culture and community is destroyed by, yes, girls and boys lured out of community for marriage. The present govt is ready to give citizenship to tibetian refugees, but they do not want citizenship as their unbelical ord will be cut.

It is better to cut them off as insiders from family association, functions and religious activities at personal/family level. Goes without saying that they are free to chart their life in their own image in any part of the world.

I think one solution for all those who may feel strongly about their progenies marrying out of caste would be to get a written confirmation from their "Ishta Devata" or " Grama Devata" to bind their offspring's mind so as to maken them subservient to the parents' whims and fantasies.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear P J Sir,

Some points you have given are outdated!

No one talks about dowry now a days and parents are happy if their son /daughter chooses the partner within the community -

I am talking about all the communities and not only brahmins. (A book is written by the controversial writer Perumal Murugan

describes the pitiable state of a NB guy around 35 years, who fails miserably to find his better half!) The wedding expenses are

shared by both sides in most of the cases.

Girls are unwilling to move from where they have a lucrative job and wish the boys to relocate; girls also choose to stay nearby

their parents and not with their in-laws! So, please don't think parents DON'OT allow the couple to have separate establishment!

 

[P.J.]

Raji Madam

I have already stated " it all stared because of Dowry system, " also stated nowadays Now even though no Brahmin boys parents demand any dowry, other conditions like joint family etc still remain.

You are also like renukaji not reading the the whole thread, shooting your mind.


Read my post again.

 

[renuka]

You are also like renukaji not reading the the whole thread, shooting your mind.


.

OMG! This is the heights of blaming me for everything.

I did not even write one comment in this thread cos it is totally pertaining to TBs and the problems they face in getting brides but yet you dragged me in!LOL

Totally unfair PJ sir! Totally unfair.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

I thought the new avtAr will change P J Sir, but it doesn't!

 

[Raji Ram]

Raji Madam

I have already stated " it all stared because of Dowry system, " also stated nowadays Now even though no Brahmin boys parents demand any dowry, other conditions like joint family etc still remain. .......

Dear P J Sir,

You give contrary statements in one post itself and confuse me!

Anyway, WHERE IS THE JOINT FAMILY?? :fish2:

 

[P.J.]

Dear Renu,

I thought the new avtAr will change P J Sir, but it doesn't!

My outlook has not changed, so also yours.

 

[Raji Ram]

My outlook has not changed, so also yours.

Dear P J Sir,

We keep growing old but those who see us everyday can't make out the minute changes! :spy:

Anyway, I mentioned about the change in your avtAr picture ONLY!

Swamiyeeeeey! SaraNam IyyappO!! ray:

 

[P.J.]

Dear P J Sir,

You give contrary statements in one post itself and confuse me!

Anyway, WHERE IS THE JOINT FAMILY?? :fish2:

Since your confused, it does't go into your mind

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

I thought the new avtAr will change P J Sir, but it doesn't!

True! Lets hope some Tiger's milk will change his mind!LOL

 

[P.J.]

OMG! This is the heights of blaming me for everything.

I did not even write one comment in this thread cos it is totally pertaining to TBs and the problems they face in getting brides but yet you dragged me in!LOL

Totally unfair PJ sir! Totally unfair.

Without posting any comment, you have cast your spells on Raji Madam!!!

 

[sarang]

If the couple stay jointly, isn't that enough?

Anyway, WHERE IS THE JOINT FAMILY?? :fish2:

 

[renuka]

Without posting any comment, you have cast your spells on Raji Madam!!!

LOL! This gets worse!

So now you are saying I am casting spells?

So beware...I might turn you into a female!LOL

 

[P.J.]

LOL! This gets worse!

So now you are saying I am casting spells?

So beware...I might turn you into a female!LOL

That's why i am wearing a wearing a Kavacham ( Shield ) to protect me against you and Raji Madam!!

I have an imaginary story about you, if you wish i can post it.

 

[Raji Ram]

If the couple stay jointly, isn't that enough?

Oh, yeah! I am reminded of what I heard in a pattimandram.

Some years ago, a family meant the grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents and all the children. Later on it meant the grandparents,

parents and children. Then it was parents and children. Soon it might change to husband is a family and wife is another family! :shocked:

 

[renuka]

That's why i am wearing a wearing a Kavacham ( Shield ) to protect me against you and Raji Madam!!

I have an imaginary story about you, if you wish i can post it.

PJ sir...I dread to hear the imaginary story..God knows what you have imagined!LOL

BTW since you keep bragging that males are better than females..then why do you fear RRji and I that you have to wear a Kavacham?Ha ha ha.

 

[P.J.]

renukaji, since you could cast your spell on that innocent Shiek ( who became your fan later on ) , i wanted to be more careful!!

Since Raji Madam is you very close buddy, who knows what she has in her armor to turn me to listen to her!!

 

[tbs]

hi

the advantages of B gal into NB boy marriages....

1 more freedom in NB home...

2 not much in laws problem....

3 easy to dominate NB family.....

4 no unwanted things...such as dowry/seer varisai etc....

5 physically wild NB boys than ammanji B boys....

6 easily acceptable for gal's parents by NB boy....

7 even gal can support monetary benefits to her parents...

8 no aacharam required in NB home...

9 non veg is optional

10 generally well respected in NB home.....



disadvantages of B gal in NB home....

1 very difficult in new society...

2 meat/non veg food problem...

3 alcohol usages very common in NB home...

4 kid's caste problem....

5 kid's discipline over marriages....

 

[rishikesan]

Dear learned veterans, the above said negative aspects are Most despicable, we all agree that such tendencies ESP. by our girls cannot be encouraged at all. But all the more we tend to analyze -&even to Truro support in some way . Is it correct ? We elders are the lot, worried &
Pray to the Almighty to bring back the normal , traditional habits in the minds four well educated Girls.
Lets resolve , not to get into the trend &try to preach the good aspects of marriage with NBs?
This forum is for promoting braminical ideas as far as possible , despite the negative trends. As suggested by me, let some of us meet I in Chennai &
discuss this vital aspect dispassionately & try to mObilze all , at the earliest.
One thing . Let out writings & counters to that do not drag away from our basic aim to promote the ideals of our community ruthlessly or else our contribution to this well thought out Forum byOu.r leader Mr Praveen would be last. Kinly think over and guide all
Rishikesan
Jest

 

[auh]

this is a problem which I come across frequently in this forum. When an inconvenient question is asked people abandon the subject under discussion and digress into a dukrinjkarane.

Well, what in my reply gave you this impression?

But I wont mind chopping off the connecting chord of relationship if the daughter becomes a pain.

This is an expression of your opinion and even if I may not agree with it, I will accept its validity. But it no more becomes a personal view when somebody wants a whole community to abide by such opinions.

my observation about groups of people is based on impressions gained from the posts here. They have logical base.

They may be logical to you but their validity is circumspect. The integrity of data and posts from an anonymous website is not a good source to begin with. But then, all your inferences would have to be qualified.

 

[auh]

parents have already lived their full life and so have no expectations from children other than that they live peacefully in a harmonious relationship with the community. When this expectation is belied the children become pain.

Parents have every right to expect the highlighted, but should always be restrained and mature enough to admit that every adult have their right to live. In this case, the children do not become a pain by their thoughts or deeds but because by virtue of the parents' expectations. So it is only the fault of the parent that is the cause of the pain.

 

[cmano1981]

In the changed time, many of them gets settled by love marriage in colleges or during their initial stage of joining work. Those who do not want to go that way and go by Parents decision need to find alliance by 24-27. If they stay more than that, then what they will get will be only what is left. Things change with time and we should recognize the change and accept it. Those who belong to earlier generations also should understand, their 20+ son or daughter are no more kids like previous days, they get awareness, knowledge (right or wrong is debatable) through internet - so movement from hierarchy oriented days to friendly type approach will beneficial and bring cheer to all.

 

[Vaagmi]

Well, what in my reply gave you this impression?
I wrote something and your comment was I cannot get any more wrong. That was a cryptic aphorism. I said in reply that the comment was empty. And you went into a dukrinjkarane by hanging on my words leaving the subject. Hope it is clear now.

This is an expression of your opinion and even if I may not agree with it, I will accept its validity. But it no more becomes a personal view when somebody wants a whole community to abide by such opinions

We all have personal views and there is a universal view existing side by side. It is all about how much we differ from the univ view.

They may be logical to you but their validity is circumspect. The integrity of data and posts from an anonymous website is not a good source to begin with. But then, all your inferences would have to be qualified.
This is not place where we are doing a peer review of a scientific dissertation

 

[auh]

Well, what in my reply gave you this impression?
I wrote something and your comment was I cannot get any more wrong. That was a cryptic aphorism. I said in reply that the comment was empty. And you went into a dukrinjkarane by hanging on my words leaving the subject. Hope it is clear now.

Well you asked for an explanation by asking me to elucidate, and in addition, added your coloured judgement to it by labelling as empty. Probably your ego was hurt since I had commented on your judgement and hence your remarks should be aptly labelled "dukrinjkarane" (whatever that means!). Moreover I think, at that point in discussion, you had no substance to debate but hung on to rhetorics.

We all have personal views and there is a universal view existing side by side. It is all about how much we differ from the univ view.

What we need to understand is that these are just views and not rules... for us or for anybody to impose on individuals or the community.

This is not place where we are doing a peer review of a scientific dissertation

Maybe but that does not invalidate the truth in my statement