... and you thought you have seen everything

[kunjuppu]

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shannon-seema-hindu-lesbian-wedding

not sure whether there is anything mentioned in our scriptures about same sex marriage.

i have a distant nephew who is the first known gay in the family, who married, in the usa ofcourse. but that was a city hall wedding.

this wedding looks like it went through the whole 9 yards of paraphernalia. ..

 

[sangom]

shannon-seema-hindu-lesbian-wedding

not sure whether there is anything mentioned in our scriptures about same sex marriage.

i have a distant nephew who is the first known gay in the family, who married, in the usa ofcourse. but that was a city hall wedding.

this wedding looks like it went through the whole 9 yards of paraphernalia. ..

In my opinion, when the concept of "individual liberty" is carried to extremes and collective good is sacrificed, all such developments will happen. It is probably Nature's method to destroy what is undesirable.

 

[kunjuppu]

this is THE issue sangom.

at the turn of the 20th century, a.g.gardiner wrote a beautiful essay on the rules of the road..where he said for the common good of all, we all take a cut in our liberty. 100 years later, the essay has not lost any of its sheen...

on the rule of the road

A stout old lady was walking with her basket down the middle of a street in Petrograd to the great confusion of the traffic and with no small peril to herself.

It was pointed out to her that the pavement was the place for pedestrians, but she replied: ‘I’m going to walk where I like. We’ve got liberty now.’ It did not occur to the dear old lady that if liberty entitled the pedestrian to walk down the middle of the road, then the end of such liberty would be universal chaos.

Everybody would be getting in everybody else’s way and nobody would get anywhere. Individual liberty would have become social anarchy.

We are all liable to forget this, and unfortunately we are much more conscious of the imperfections of others in this respect than of our own. A reasonable consideration for the rights or feelings of others is the foundation of social conduct.

It is in the small matters of conduct, in the observance of the rule of the road, that we pass judgment upon ourselves, and declare that we are civilized or uncivilized. The great moments of heroism and sacrifice are rare. It is the little habits of commonplace intercourse that make up the great sum of life and sweeten or make bitter the journey.


.. and so on.

where would a society draw the line? and what, one would view as decadence, is seen as liberation, by someone else.

i am as perplexed as anyone else is. something to chew the cud, i guess. no easy answers. or maybe, even no answers at all.

 

[tks]

Raises more questions

Wonder who the priest was and what his Dakshana was .. How do they decide who is playing the husband role?

Gay/Lesbian interests are not out of choice seemingly. No one chooses to be gay. So one need not look down on this nature's expression of gay/lesbian relationship. It exists even amongst animals.

These days many gays want rights beyond legal protection afforded in any marriage - they want to be able to celebrate their status with ritualistic weddings. I do not understand why they want religious weddings which does not recognize such unions in the first place.

Ritualistic symbolism do not have values for many these days even in regular weddings- it is all just cultural with the priest saying some blah blah.

The couple can have babies through artificial means and will have a family ..

Yes, indeed ..and I thought I have seen everything

 

[kunjuppu]

Raises more questions

Wonder who the priest was and what his Dakshana was .. How do they decide who is playing the husband role?

Gay/Lesbian interests are not out of choice seemingly. No one chooses to be gay. So one need not look down on this nature's expression of gay/lesbian relationship. It exists even amongst animals.

These days many gays want rights beyond legal protection afforded in any marriage - they want to be able to celebrate their status with ritualistic weddings. I do not understand why they want religious weddings which does not recognize such unions in the first place.

Ritualistic symbolism do not have values for many these days even in regular weddings- it is all just cultural with the priest saying some blah blah.

The couple can have babies through artificial means and will have a family ..

Yes, indeed ..and I thought I have seen everything

tks,

i think, the roles are decided between the couple. dont know more than that.

i agree that gay is not a choice. and it can happen to any of our children. if that happens, i think, our love of our child should supersede any prejudice against a lifestyle and gender choice. that is my opinion.

i tend to personalize every situation, 'what if this happens to me', and it colours most of my views. as i age, hence, i find, i am become more tolerant and fearless of the future, than what would seem as a normal progression of old age ie conservatism and tend to tradition.

i am observing the same with sangom, to whom, i hope, i am, a minor company

dont know much about the age of others in this forum, but would guess with age one gets more conservative though with exceptions.

discovering a child being gay, would be a good test of love. towards the child.. i think.

we know a family. the guy son was effeminate. they went to india and married him. in two months the bride went back to india. we could never figure out why they let this happen, as these are otherwise normal decent people with whom we socialize. everyone, but the parents (!) knew/suspected the guy to be gay. what to do?

the worst affected parents, are those, who used to boast, 'my child will NEVER do that' time and again proved wrong.

 

[tks]

tks,

i think, the roles are decided between the couple. dont know more than that.

i agree that gay is not a choice. and it can happen to any of our children. if that happens, i think, our love of our child should supersede any prejudice against a lifestyle and gender choice. that is my opinion.

i tend to personalize every situation, 'what if this happens to me', and it colours most of my views. as i age, hence, i find, i am become more tolerant and fearless of the future, than what would seem as a normal progression of old age ie conservatism and tend to tradition.

i am observing the same with sangom, to whom, i hope, i am, a minor company

dont know much about the age of others in this forum, but would guess with age one gets more conservative though with exceptions.

discovering a child being gay, would be a good test of love. towards the child.. i think.

we know a family. the guy son was effeminate. they went to india and married him. in two months the bride went back to india. we could never figure out why they let this happen, as these are otherwise normal decent people with whom we socialize. everyone, but the parents (!) knew/suspected the guy to be gay. what to do?

During short holidays my children have brought friends to stay in our place if the parents of their friends lived very far away. One of these friends was gay - an Indian kid who 'came out' upon coming to college. It is a struggle for parents initially but they came to accept it. Like you say love of the child overcomes all these thoughts.

I have another perspective as well. For every person that cannot deal with this concept they have to recognize that many of their ancestors were gay (only that they never came out of the proverbial closet so openly).

If we are able to see these people as human beings first and recognize Gayness is not something someone chooses then they can be more accepting.

 

[tks]

By the way the links in the article Sri K posted has all the pictures.

In case you missed it

Steph Grant Photography SHANNON + SEEMA | Indian Lesbian Wedding | Los Angeles, CA

Seems it included even Nalangu !

 

[C RAVI]

tks,


we know a family. the guy son was effeminate. they went to india and married him. in two months the bride went back to india. we could never figure out why they let this happen, as these are otherwise normal decent people with whom we socialize. everyone, but the parents (!) knew/suspected the guy to be gay. what to do?

As well, in today's world, If the married guy has some physical problem and is not powerfully potent and is unable to satisfy his wife, unable to give her exciting, fulfilling and streaming climax, will be branded as gay. This helps the lady to seek divorce easily with support from her parents and society.

One of my Ex male colleague's friend in Chennai had the similar situation. He calmly accepted the claims of his wife to let her have her course of actions without hurdles, so that, she can have a contented life, marrying a guy, who can keep her fully satisfied.

 

[kunjuppu]

.. there is a reference to it, as a coincidence, in today's jeyamohan's blog, along with a reference to a gay tamil blogger..with an interesting short story.. hmmm

jeyamohan

விலையில்லா இன்பம்./.. explores new dimensions of morality and sexual mores...i think..or has it been there all along..?

 

[kunjuppu]

As well, in today's world, If the married guy has some physical problem and is not powerfully potent and is unable to satisfy his wife, unable to give her exciting, fulfilling and streaming climax, will be branded as gay. This helps the lady to seek divorce easily with support from her parents and society.

One of my Ex male colleague's friend in Chennai had the similar situation. He calmly accepted the claims of his wife to let her have her course of actions without hurdles, so that, she can have a contented life, marrying a guy, who can keep her fully satisfied.

two different things ravi..

gay is one, impotency is another. both are good enough reasons for divorce. reality of today.

it is only fair, that the woman is sexually satisfied. but more than that, she might want to have babies. this is one crucial aspect of thaambaththiyam that in an arranged marriage, the parties do not know the status, till the first night. and i have heard of surprises, pleasant and otherwise.

with a guy it is immediately apprent. with a girl, it may take time. women are frigid too, and a guy is free to take up the matter to the courts, if not the doctor. life........

 

[auh]

I think this is a mockery of tradition. Being lesbian and living together out of a common bond is one thing and having a mock wedding in the traditional style is another thing. A confused lot.

 

[auh]

As well, in today's world, If the married guy has some physical problem and is not powerfully potent and is unable to satisfy his wife, unable to give her exciting, fulfilling and streaming climax, will be branded as gay.

I presume that you mean that some would view such people as gay, right? Love does not require "powerful potency" or an exciting, fulfilling and streaming climax"; only lust does.

 

[sangom]

tks,

i think, the roles are decided between the couple. dont know more than that.

i agree that gay is not a choice. and it can happen to any of our children. if that happens, i think, our love of our child should supersede any prejudice against a lifestyle and gender choice. that is my opinion.

i tend to personalize every situation, 'what if this happens to me', and it colours most of my views. as i age, hence, i find, i am become more tolerant and fearless of the future, than what would seem as a normal progression of old age ie conservatism and tend to tradition.

i am observing the same with sangom, to whom, i hope, i am, a minor company

dont know much about the age of others in this forum, but would guess with age one gets more conservative though with exceptions.

discovering a child being gay, would be a good test of love. towards the child.. i think.

we know a family. the guy son was effeminate. they went to india and married him. in two months the bride went back to india. we could never figure out why they let this happen, as these are otherwise normal decent people with whom we socialize. everyone, but the parents (!) knew/suspected the guy to be gay. what to do?

the worst affected parents, are those, who used to boast, 'my child will NEVER do that' time and again proved wrong.

Dear Shri Kunjuppu,

This topic of gays and lesbians, is an off-the-normal one. In my not so short life, I have known that homosexuality is preferred by some men during certain period (prime years) of their life and that this ebbs out as their age advanced. The passive partner usually was a young boy over whom the other had some form of control (like teacher and student, the man who pays money for the services, etc.). But all these have had (and in the state in which I live, even now) no sanction of the society and was perhaps an offence under the Law also.

Lesbianism was even less known, although there used to be hush-hush talks insinuating women who were observed to be unusually close to one another. (I have heard of one or two such pairs even from within tabras.)

Now India is also coming under the sway of western concepts and the LGBT fashions are being projected as somethings of excellence and to which each individual has a paramount right. I am unable to accept this trend.

Regarding "feminine" boys, I think ordinary persons like us cannot make any judgment because I have known a few such cases who got married to girls, fathered more than one child and lived a happy married life to all outside observers.

 

[kunjuppu]

I presume that you mean that some would view such people as gay, right? Love does not require "powerful potency" or an exciting, fulfilling and streaming climax"; only lust does.

gay people can and have fathered babies. know a couple of them here, who entered into normal marriages, and then 'came out' as gay, left their female spouse, for a male. happens.

impotency is the inability to sexually perform. these are not gay.

.. i gues you can be gay and impotent too...getting too complicated here for me

 

[prasad1]

two different things ravi..

gay is one, impotency is another. both are good enough reasons for divorce. reality of today.

it is only fair, that the woman is sexually satisfied. but more than that, she might want to have babies. this is one crucial aspect of thaambaththiyam that in an arranged marriage, the parties do not know the status, till the first night. and i have heard of surprises, pleasant and otherwise.

with a guy it is immediately apprent. with a girl, it may take time. women are frigid too, and a guy is free to take up the matter to the courts, if not the doctor. life........

Unfortunately ignorance knows no bounds.

gay is one, impotency is another.