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Divorce rearing its ugly head among Tambrahms

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biswa said:
Ooh, fighting words like Ronald Reagan.

Now you are going to be in big trouble!
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Renukaji, and other ladies are taking a vacation, and I am not in fighting mood as I might see Krishji in my next trip.
So he is ok for the time being. LOL
 
krish44 said:
Ladies cannot solve any problem -they are the problem.lol
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I think ladies are master problem solvers, but men do not listen, men cannot live in this world of their own insisting that they are always correct.What men do not realise is that girls are also on par with them, nowadays when a girl goes to work she also has work pressure etc,etc.A girl these days cannot sit & listen or attend to her husband and if she does who will attend to hers ??????????

Idira Nooy wouldn't have become Pepsi CEO if she couldn't solve a problem.

Also divorce as I see it does not prevail much amongst couple who have a love marriage, because in love marriage couple have an understanding & a sense of belonging rather than being artificially being joined in marriage
 
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Biswaji you are right.

In the USA, all marriages are love marriages. The general consensus is that the divorce rates for first marriages is about 40-50 percent and as high as 65-75 percent for second and third marriages.

 
Also divorce as I see it does not prevail much amongst couple who have a love marriage, because in love marriage couple have an understanding & a sense of belonging rather than being artificially being joined in marriage
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This is completely wrong. I would appreciate if you can provide any valuable statistics.
 
Welcome back, Daksha! :) My comments in blue.

Daksha Kumar said:
1. I think ladies are master problem solvers, but men do not listen, men cannot live in this world of their own insisting that they are

always correct.

Ladies are problem solvers and also creators! If ONE lady manages the house and others listen to her,

it will be :cool:. Otherwise, the 'neeyA nAnA' fundA will let the hell break loose!

2. What men do not realise is that girls are also on par with them, nowadays when a girl goes to work she also has

work pressure etc,etc.A girl these days cannot sit & listen or attend to her husband and if she does who will attend to

hers ??????????

Come on, Daksha. Todays men know that if the work load is ONLY on women, that will end up in divorce.

The OP confirms it!

3. Idira Nooy wouldn't have become Pepsi CEO if she couldn't solve a problem.
Yes, very true. But, official problems seem to be much easier than the ones faced in the home front! :ballchain:

4. Also divorce as I see it does not prevail much amongst couple who have a love marriage, because in love marriage

couple have an understanding & a sense of belonging rather than being artificially being joined in marriage.

No girl marries before having a few outing with her 'selected' groom, in case of arranged marriages. But,

both of them 'show' ONLY their good side during those dates! My dad used to jokingly say that a girl might

decide to go for a divorce, after listening to the noises her husband makes, while brushing his teeth in the

morning, after their first night! :spit:
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The interesting fact about indian love [cum arranged later} the couple tend to stick together more and face the onslaught of others.They sacrifice more to make marriage work

as their support system is less.If there are differences, they would approach each others parents only as a last resort.Most love marriages are under strain as the expectations

after marriage are not kept up by one or either of the parties.They are idealistic and expect a lot more from their marriages .

In arranged marriages, it is only a barter deal. Expectations are low. Anything positive one gets of it is a plus. Then there is an army of relatives on either side to fall back

on.If there is a problem in marriage, it is between the two families[boys and girls] to resolve it.It is like a limited commitment , responsibility business venture.It can go on

for a lifetime on a rickety journey with on -off phases.Lol
 
Daksha Kumar said:
I think ladies are master problem solvers, but men do not listen, men cannot live in this world of their own insisting that they are always correct.What men do not realise is that girls are also on par with them, nowadays when a girl goes to work she also has work pressure etc,etc.A girl these days cannot sit & listen or attend to her husband and if she does who will attend to hers ??????????

Idira Nooy wouldn't have become Pepsi CEO if she couldn't solve a problem.

Also divorce as I see it does not prevail much amongst couple who have a love marriage, because in love marriage couple have an understanding & a sense of belonging rather than being artificially being joined in marriage
Click to expand...

hi

really?,,,,
 
whether love or arranged, is not the cause for divorce.

love and arranged end up in marriage, uniting 2 souls.

whatever happens after marriage, is cause for divorce.

please don't blame/attribute 'love' or 'arranged' for divorce.

ain't we wasting precious time debating on whether 'love' or 'arranged' is cause for divorce when neither is.

the cause for divorce is post-marital and is varied.
 
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GNANA SUNYAM said:
......... ain't we wasting precious time debating on whether 'love' or 'arranged' is cause for divorce when neither is.

the cause for divorce is post-marital and is varied.
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We ARE wasting time in this thread because no one can reduce the number of divorces happening now! :sad:

BTW, I think Daksha is the ONLY person saying that love marriages don't end up in divorce.
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prasad1 said:
Biswaji you are right.

In the USA, all marriages are love marriages. The general consensus is that the divorce rates for first marriages is about 40-50 percent and as high as 65-75 percent for second and third marriages.
Click to expand...

But we cannot bring the USA concept here because, their culture is completely different from ours, so I would say it is irrelevant.

We must look from an Indian prespective.
 
krish44 said:
The interesting fact about indian love [cum arranged later} the couple tend to stick together more and face the onslaught of others.They sacrifice more to make marriage work

as their support system is less.If there are differences, they would approach each others parents only as a last resort.Most love marriages are under strain as the expectations

after marriage are not kept up by one or either of the parties.They are idealistic and expect a lot more from their marriages .

In arranged marriages, it is only a barter deal. Expectations are low. Anything positive one gets of it is a plus. Then there is an army of relatives on either side to fall back

on.If there is a problem in marriage, it is between the two families[boys and girls] to resolve it.It is like a limited commitment , responsibility business venture.It can go on

for a lifetime on a rickety journey with on -off phases.Lol
Click to expand...

That's my point as well, and There is another fact that we should realise is, in love marriage is that you start like a person before marriage and he is your soulmate and marriage is something that gives you the permission to live with him forever.

But in arranged marriage you are forced to accept what you are given, older days when women were dependent on men it was fine, but now I don't think that attitude does prevails.

It's like buying a dress, you buy what fit's that is love marriage & and arranged marriage is like fit your self into the dress, and chances of failure is high.
 
Raji Ram said:
Welcome back, Daksha! :) My comments in blue.

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Raji Ram said:
We ARE wasting time in this thread because no one can reduce the number of divorces happening now! :sad:

BTW, I think Daksha is the ONLY person saying that love marriages don't end up in divorce.
icon3.png
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Thanks for the greetings ma'am!!!

I am not saying that love marriages end in failure, what I was suggesting is it's more resilient when there are issues.

Given I experienced it myself I can see what both of us went through and what was the rationale behind mine & his decisions.
 
Raji Ram said:
....BTW, I think Daksha is the ONLY person saying that love marriages don't end up in divorce.
icon3.png
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we cannot make a conclusive statement as such and we cannot generalize it sir.

there are numerous instances of love marriage also breaking up and ending in divorce.
 
Daksha Kumar said:
That's my point as well, and There is another fact that we should realise is, in love marriage is that you start like a person before marriage and he is your soulmate and marriage is something that gives you the permission to live with him forever.

But in arranged marriage you are forced to accept what you are given, older days when women were dependent on men it was fine, but now I don't think that attitude does prevails.

It's like buying a dress, you buy what fit's that is love marriage & and arranged marriage is like fit your self into the dress, and chances of failure is high.
Click to expand...

Sorry to prick the bubble, but there is no such thing as soul mate. And even if there was, the chance of locating such a person via a chance love encounter in college or workplace is really minuscule.

Krishji's point about managing expectations is the only valid one.

To continue the dress buying metaphor, any marriage is like buying a dress from Amazon/Flipkart. Nobody knows whether it will fit or not. Unless of course one trys before one buys.
 
Daksha Kumar said:
......... But in arranged marriage you are forced to accept what you are given, older days when women were dependent on men it was fine, but now I don't think that attitude does prevails. ..........
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Oh, Dhaksha! We are in the 21st century! No highly placed girl accepts a boy when forced!

But, this might happen in the poor circles and those girls will be more obedient than the educated ones!

I know a very pretty KLB girl, my niece's friend, who was forced to marry a man who limps a bit when he walks! But, since

he owns a huge company, this girl was made G M and her parents became G M's parents, from being 'vadAm sellers'! Now,

she has a kid, drives her own car and is very very happy as an affluent lady!
pride.png


That guy presented a nice flat to his parents in law and they are very well off too. No more vadAm making!! :peace:
 
My first buy in Flipcart! Happily got a knee cap of correct size, as shown in the diagram!

But, when worn, it was tooooooo tight and I had to attach 2" of thick cloth to expand it. :becky:
 
Raji Ram said:
My first buy in Flipcart! Happily got a knee cap of correct size, as shown in the diagram!

But, when worn, it was tooooooo tight and I had to attach 2" of thick cloth to expand it. :becky:
Click to expand...

Madam, How is this related to the topic? May be a right post in wrong thread!!
 
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