Divorces In India

[kunjuppu]

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Add to that cooking , cleaning the toilets , cleaning the house, buying the food stuffs etc etc .Before we think on what happens after marriage let every man , women learn to cook their food , clean their toilets /house , wash their clothes , utensils much before they get married so that these issues do not become the cause of regular fight between the husband and wife after marriage . Yes we have now dishwasher and washing machine , yet some one needs to put in the clothes ( segrating them properly and not dumping them all in one go ) , detergent , take them out , dry it and press it .
.

.. add to this re one family i know.

the husband used to get drunk regularly. tambram ofcourse. and with regularity, he used to vomit afterwards. and it left to the wife to clean up the mess.

i would not have believed it, if i had not seen it. he is a very high income earner and she stayed with him partly for that, and partly for the kids. but even now, she has not one good word for this man.

such is life. this was a 100% jadhagam porundhiya arranged marriage.

 

[Jaykay767]

what do you call those people who mock their own country, countrymen, religion, culture & traditions, live in inferiority complex & ape the west ??? smallest frog in the well or worse ?

 

[sarang]

I know this family. I would not have believed if I had seen them with my own eyes. The husband was a staunch vaishnavite, with a post graduate degree, a college teacher, with a fairly large family of about ten members to support including three old relatives. He did minimum house related work like buying provisions, vegetables etc on most days, leaving all remaining housework, cooking etc to the lady of the house. But he cooked and prepared tolerable items on those 3 special days and when wife was too I'll to cook (very rare). Children and outsiders were normally not allowed to help because of madi and aacharam. The wife, participated in all daily religious and secular chores and did everything with love and devotion. She managed to have her share of fun - reading, shopping, movies, get togethers with her circle of friends not limited to only iyengar brahmins. I know because I am talking about my parents. Most of the families I know in my street and town were like this only.

There was another family which lost all its moorings, fought always, showed scant respect for brahminical way of life, eventually emigrated to canada for better life, better environment and to be away from brahmins.

 

[renuka]

what do you call those people who mock their own country, countrymen, religion, culture & traditions, live in inferiority complex & ape the west ??? smallest frog in the well or worse ?

Introspection is define as examination of one's own conscious thoughts and feelings.
Very few dare to introspect.

There is no amphibian involved in the process of introspection.

 

[renuka]

There was another family which lost all its moorings, fought always, showed scant respect for brahminical way of life, eventually emigrated to canada for better life, better environment and to be away from brahmins.

Is this reel or real? I somehow suspect its reel..cos why specifically Canada? Something fishy here!LOL

 

[கால பைரவன்]

Introspection is define as examination of one's own conscious thoughts and feelings.
Very few dare to introspect.

There is no amphibian involved in the process of introspection.

Introspection should be about oneself only. One can't introspect on behalf of others.

It is just a clever way to fudge the fact that one is being judgmental of others.

 

[கால பைரவன்]

..

the husband used to get drunk regularly. tambram ofcourse. and with regularity, he used to vomit afterwards. and it left to the wife to clean up the mess

Poor choice of words. Tries to create an impression that tambrams are drunkards and insensitive towards their spouse. Of all the tambrams that I know, not even one will fit the above description.

 

[renuka]

Introspection should be about oneself only. One can't introspect on behalf of others.

It is just a clever way to fudge the fact that one is being judgmental of others.

I thought the definition of introspection was self explanatory..that is about one's own self.

I was not talking about "Extrospection"...so the question of acting on behalf of others does not arise.

I think you got confused over the meaning of Introspection.

I hope my explanation clears your doubt.

If you are not sure kindly ask me for further clarification.

 

[கால பைரவன்]

I thought the definition of introspection was self explanatory..that is about one's own self.

I was not talking about "Extrospection"...so the question of acting on behalf of others does not arise.

I think you got confused over the meaning of Introspection.

I hope my explanation clears your doubt.

If you are not sure kindly ask me for further clarification.

May be you can explain the context then.

Your post on "introspection" was a response to JK's observation about people who mock their countrymen, religion etc.

Other Indians, Other Hindus, Other Brahmins are still others only even if one is a Brahmin, hindu, and an Indian. Condemning them does not come under introspection.

 

[auh]

Poor choice of words. Tries to create an impression that tambrams are drunkards and insensitive towards their spouse. Of all the tambrams that I know, not even one will fit the above description.

I have to agree reg. the highlighted. The thread is not about divorces among tambrams in India... slipups, even though inadvertent, can reveal a glimpse of the intent behind. I think the "of course" did it...

 

[renuka]

May be you can explain the context then.

Your post on "introspection" was a response to JK's observation about people who mock their countrymen, religion etc.

Other Indians, Other Hindus, Other Brahmins are still others only even if one is a Brahmin, hindu, and an Indian. Condemning them does not come under introspection.

Ok let me explain..sometimes introspection is mistaken for mocking countrymen, religion,culture etc.

One has to at times explore all aspects of culture and religion and realize that much is actually driven by emotions, superstition and a sense of belonging.

Many might not actually like to face the harsh truth cos introspection at times robs the magic away from life.

So it all depends how much you are willing to explore and how much truth one can gulp.

It takes time..so dont rush.

 

[sarang]

General theory generalization!

 

[renuka]

General theory generalization!

I would rather call it Inference.

 

[rishikesan]

#12 above profess that the Brahmin girl , not only got back her jewels , but also succeeded in getting a second husband & got a Child as well " We should agree that this incident could be taken as rare & is not common. None the less I wish that Mrs Rajiram finds out the back ground of husband leading to Divorce , to know if it was an unavoidable case of separation or could it have been avoided ?
If we can preserve the details , we can highlight the same to discourage Such divorces. ?

Rishikesan

 

[Raji Ram]

#12 above profess that the Brahmin girl , not only got back her jewels , but also succeeded in getting a second husband & got a Child as well " We should agree that this incident could be taken as rare & is not common. None the less I wish that Mrs Rajiram finds out the back ground of husband leading to Divorce , to know if it was an unavoidable case of separation or could it have been avoided ?
If we can preserve the details , we can highlight the same to discourage Such divorces. ?

Rishikesan

Dear Rishi Sir,

What else? Incompatibility between mother in law and daughter in law! :boink:

Girls are becoming very smart, now a days!

 

[renuka]

Dear Rishi Sir,

What else? Incompatibility between mother in law and daughter in law! :boink:

Girls are becoming very smart, now a days!

Dear RR ji,

Its not that they are becoming smarter but they have realized that they need not suffer at the hands of anyone anymore.

 

[prasad1]

Dear Rishi Sir,

What else? Incompatibility between mother in law and daughter in law! :boink:

Girls are becoming very smart, now a days!

Not smartness but awareness and finally a freedom from bondage.

 

[prasad1]

Poor choice of words. Tries to create an impression that tambrams are drunkards and insensitive towards their spouse. Of all the tambrams that I know, not even one will fit the above description.

Sir,
Don't you think you are biased?
On one hand you rebuke Kji for writing about TB family matter as "out of context" in this thread, but your friends all outpouring about sex life of west in this threat was ignored by you. Should I assume a collusion between some of the members here?

What has sex life of west got to do in "Divorce in India thread"?

 

[Raji Ram]

........... Its not that they are becoming smarter but they have realized that they need not suffer at the hands of anyone anymore.

Dear Renu,

I call this realization as being smart and not 'asadu'!

 

[krish44]

Dear Renu,

I call this realization as being smart and not 'asadu'!

It is clear escape from a bad marital situation . most would have seen no other way out before taking this step.

last generation girls put up with a lot from mcp boys and orthodox and unreasonable inlaws binding

girls to rituals and kitchen work often a drudgery. the status of girls was something akin to

domestic slaves and they were satisfying mostly lust of men under the head of marriage. Religion

was brought into it to make them accept a very inferior relatioship in marriage. now I feel happy

that there is over reaction from girls showing boys and inlaws their place

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,
I hope you read the long list of things expected to be done by women, in another thread, by P J Sir! :ranger:

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,
I hope you read the long list of things expected to be done by women, in another thread, by P J Sir! :ranger:

request a reference to the thread of P J sir..

only curious about his expectations of things to be undertaken by women,

there are many belonging to his generation with unfulfilled expectations

 

[krish44]

read indira parthasarathys uchhiveiyil

a must for orthodox brahmins of fiftees and sixties generation having to face upto realities of

intercaste weddings in their families. conflicts and divorces due to lack of acceptance of mixed

matches

 

[Raji Ram]

request a reference to the thread of P J sir..........

Here is one post in the following quote. Click on

icon in that quote, to go to that thread read more of the never ending list !

Many present day men would have preferred to lose either a leg or a hand to get a woman who will gather food items and groceries,

prepare tasty food for him, she’ll wash cloths and iron it for him, She will always agree with every decision he makes. She will

bear his children ( more than two ) and never ask him to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag

him, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong ( also in all Forums she participates along with men )also when had a

disagreement with him,. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.”

She will also teach Children Maths and other subjects, allow him to watch all sports channels. allow him to play cards and other

games with his friends, allow him to go out with her cute friends occasionally!!

(The List is never ending, will be added more wishes )

 

[Raji Ram]

read indira parthasarathys uchhiveiyil

a must for orthodox brahmins of fiftees and sixties generation having to face upto realities of

intercaste weddings in their families. conflicts and divorces due to lack of acceptance of mixed

matches

Dear Krish Sir,

In IC / IR weddings of children of orthodox parents, it is only separation of the parents and the children and not of the couple!